[Noir]

(06-13-2018 05:35 PM)Delta Wrote:  

So while I don't dispute the merit of building yourself up first, for my own situation, "where to look for quality girls" is actually the heart of the issue. I'm also considering a move to the city to make it easier to meet people, but the consensus around here of "city girls are sluts who are not LTR worthy" gives me pause. So I was especially wondering if anyone has had success finding good girls in a city environment.

Where to look?

If you're not in a city then you're setting yourself back because all the motivated, driven, beautiful and 'high value' women flock to metropolitan areas to have a higher chance of landing YOU and setting their futures up.

I said this earlier, forget about what other people and guys say. A lot of bitter guys everywhere. A lot of men who focus on the 2 girls who were bitches instead of the 32 who were pleasant.

Go to the city and check it out for yourself.


Step 1 - Define what women want

Short term: Sexy, attractive and able to spike emotions.
Longer term: A man who is confident and provides security in one way or another.


Step 2 - What do you offer?

Be honest and come to an understanding as to who you are and what you have to offer a woman. Consider what women want (or at least your understanding of it).


Step 3 - What kind of woman do you deserve and is that less than what you want?

List all the desirable traits. Do some serious soul searching. Tear your list to shreds with counter points and put yourself on the line.

If you feel you deserve less than what you want, you have to work on yourself.


Step 4 - Where do women with these traits congregate?

List all the places within reasonable proximity that you think they would.
List the time. Check your schedule. Action > inaction.


Step 5 - Juxtaposition of where they hang out vs what you enjoy and is congruent

No point going to places for the sake of meeting women if you ain't enjoying yourself. Refer to my original list of 'places'.

- Are you able to showcase your strengths at these places?
- Is networking viable?
- Are they fun, beneficial places?


Step 6 - Visit the places, get a feel for the vibe and re-edit list

You may enjoy markets but hate yoga. You may enjoy cooking classes but despise grocery shopping and do it online.

Don't go out of your way to meet women for the sake of women.

Some places will be duds and have shitty ratios. Other places will be goldmines.


Step 7 - Keep your self-improvement going (this is constant) and audit your time/money spent on this experiment

That's right, this is an experiment.

I came up with this off the top of my head in 6 minutes.

Be a problem solver and tinker with an experiment, go and implement it. Get feedback on it and come back and refine.

Too many guys on this forum are stuck in analysis paralysis.

Keep the momentum going with your gym, $$, network, happiness, hobbies, projects, harem, investments, whatever.


The most mindblowing thing I heard in the past week was from a very successful guy I know.

He was telling me how he spends his free time and he casually mentions "I start new projects and work on them".

Yep, he doesn't wait for the perfect idea.

He gets a shit idea and refines it to the point where he can tell if it's got potential or not. Weekly experiments with new ideas. He comes back to old ones sometimes. He archives others.

We are all full of ideas, some shit, some great yet all are unrefined. This experiment is an example of such and something you should strive to do.

It's easy to come to the forum and ask for advice but then you're picky and follow the advice that's easiest or resonates with you the most.

If you didn't know what you had to do before, you certainly aren't going to decide now.

To everyone, not just OP, start experimenting.

We have discovered maybe 30% (generously) of what makes gina's tingle and women succumb to our greatness.

The rest is there for us to figure out and that's the excitement.

[birthday cat]

There isn't an easy answer for where to find the highest quality single girls. They are everywhere but they are scarce. They are the exception to the rule. There are many threads that discuss this in various contexts but I don't think anyone can give you anything more specific than places like church, the gym, etc. Anything beyond that is probably going to require you to put in some effort to figure out how to solve this problem for your specific situation.
Prowling for Good Girls: The Story of a Fight Against All Odds
Advice on finding a wife in the broken West...
Wife Hunting Abroad
LTR/Marriage master thread. The why, who, when, where and how.
The Problems With Teaching Men How To Find A Wife (blog post by Roosh)

Others may disagree but I still believe the way to find the highest quality girls is to look internally first which is partially due to the fact that the highest quality girl you could ever get will always be a girl that feels she has a special connection with you. Have you determined a niche of girls that are great prospects for you? Why or why not? Why is a great girl going to feel that special connection with you?

There are other reasons why I believe the way to find the highest quality girls is to look internally first but I'm still working those out in my head and can't describe them very well. However, I think I'm on the right path and these are things that might be beyond the scope of generic game advice on an internet forum.

I can think of one example that is somewhat related. One guy reads a thread about hiring a photographer to take photos for his online dating profile which leads that guy to contacting professional photographers for those photos. Another guy reads the same thread and for the next few months he spends more time in the gym, eats better, sleeps more, gets a stylist to change his haircut and facial hair, buys better clothes, etc. He does all this before he contacts the photographer even though it was never mentioned in the thread. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to think deeper about what really works rather than just following simple solutions or some other dude's opinions.

Also, I think Parlay44's post makes a lot of good points that are congruent with my experience. Young girls usually have better attitudes. Most of my experience with online game comes from international locations but the "all online girls are sluts" opinion usually comes from guys who are screening for first date bangs and then complaining that all the girls they meet are sluts. Many guys have met quality girls abroad using swipe apps because those swipe apps are the only thing the girls know to use. They are the exception to the rule but quality girls are always the exception to the rule. There are relationship oriented dating websites in the US so I'm sure those websites have better options than the swipe apps. My two cents is that avoiding older women is a better strategy than avoiding online dating but there is no doubt that online dating has plenty of challenges.

[Mr_furly]

(06-12-2018 07:28 PM)Delta Wrote:  

Thread title is pretty self-explanatory. Just about everything on here is geared toward racking up notches via degenerate sluts. If that's your thing, hey, totally cool, but it's not for everyone. If you were more concerned with quality and relationship potential, how would you primarily go about meeting women?

Also, while undoubtedly cities>suburbs in terms of getting laid, does that hold true for meeting quality women as well? Obviously cities have more options, hotter girls, more favorable ratios, and more opportunities to meet people, but city girls also tend to be more slutty and less traditional.

Assume moving abroad isn't an option.

No offense bro but you are approaching this with a female mentality. Idk if you are an older guy and maybe just tired of all the nonsense so you are looking for someone decent to settle down with, but from the tone of your comment I would take it that you are still pretty young.

And what I mean by approaching it from a "female's mentality" is that fundamentally women are trying to find prince charming, the guy they can be with forever, they are looking for love/security before sex intuitively. Men fundamentally are trying to fuck and conquer women, but socially we understand that women want love/indication of a relationship before sex so we play along with it by either lying, implying or even compromising ourselves in believing that we have to give them what they want for us to get what we want.


The problem with your whole outlook is that you are going out looking for miss "perfect" so when you find a woman who you think has all the measurables, and qualities you are looking for you're gonna fall for them really quickly, hold them to ridiculously high standards then when you find out something about them you don't like and how they are similar to all other women your self esteem will be completely crushed.

There is no magic water whole where you will find "quality" women. They may or may not be everywhere. And in my view a man needs to make a woman into what he wants her to be, mold her into what you like, you just need to start with a decent prospect and have a willing participant.

So what I think you should do is go out and date/fuck women as any man should, but do it purposefully. Have certain standards, and the women who you meet that don't meet them, don't pursue those ones. The standards should be practical tho, not some fairy tale bullshit that no modern woman really has. Once you find a good flock of women that you are interested in filter them out, put them through tests and explain to them how you expect to be treated and why its beneficial for both of your lives for them to act accordingly,

the women who can't keep up will drop out and the last one standing is the dream girl you have been looking for. Nobody is perfect, you have to give people a chance to fuck up and also a chance to become a better person, the woman who is willing to do this in order to be with you is the one you want but this takes effort

[Delta]

(06-14-2018 08:27 AM)Noir Wrote:  

If you're not in a city then you're setting yourself back because all the motivated, driven, beautiful and 'high value' women flock to metropolitan areas to have a higher chance of landing YOU and setting their futures up.

I said this earlier, forget about what other people and guys say. A lot of bitter guys everywhere. A lot of men who focus on the 2 girls who were bitches instead of the 32 who were pleasant.

Go to the city and check it out for yourself.

There's a ton in your post that I could respond do (which I appreciate), but I want to address this in particular because I find it interesting.

I remember reading one of Roosh's blog posts which recommends the opposite:

Roosh Wrote:

For most men who live in urban areas, these traditional women are wholly out of reach, so I suspect Perilloux lives in a smaller town.

Odds are you are reading from a mega city like London, New York City, and Toronto, so I’d have to urge you to move to a smaller town, get a new job, or drastically change your environment and habits to essentially become a new person for the prospect of finding a wife to be responsible for who, odds are, has a 50% chance of kicking you to the curb at some point. That’s an impossible sell.

And I've seen other guys on here express similar sentiments. But I have to say, my experience is more in line with what you're saying. As in, those who believe suburban/rural areas are decent for finding a good, traditional wife clearly haven't tried, and have no clue just how awful it is out here.

I live an hour or so away from a major city, and have very occasionally gotten girls from there to agree to a date. From my recollection, all but one of those dates ended in a makeout, and I ended up ultimately banging 2 of the girls. One of those became a LTR.

My results dating suburban girls are night and day... in a bad way. Far fewer than half of the dates end in a makeout or even a light kiss. I've ultimately banged <10% of those girls I've met up with. Typically that's because I have no desire to.

What's the problem? Well first off, there's a surplus of men in the burbs. Women are more likely to flock to cities. But the larger issue, I think, is that the overwhelming majority of 20-something girls still living in the suburbs are the type that just don't give a shit about anything. They're not driven, they're not into becoming their best self... they just exist, passively watching as countless men they'd be lucky to land in any other era grovel before them, oblivious to how incredible, and temporary, that situation is.

And when it comes to dating, most of these suburban girls just... don't get it. It's tough to articulate what exactly it is they don't get, but it's obvious that something is missing. The best way I can describe it is that they don't realize that they need to bring something to the table also. As in, their mentality going out on a date seems to just be "I'm gonna go see if this guy is any good," without even considering that they, too, are under evaluation. And it's easy to see where they get that frame of mind, since most men come in with just the opposite mentality: "I'm gonna go out and try to impress this girl," not even considering the possibility that they may not end up wanting her. The mating dance doesn't work when one side of the equation just doesn't give a fuck and lacks the ability to give anything back. It takes two to tango.

By contrast, I never got this from the [admittedly few] city girls I've met. They generally seemed excited to meet me, and like they were very much cognizant of putting their best foot forward.

I know this was a bit of a ramble, but anyway, it's tough to trust your own experience from a limited sample size when every guy seems to be saying the opposite, so it made me feel better to hear someone else observe that the rural/suburban environment is not the mecca of good, wife-material girls that it's made out to be, and that city girls may not actually be so bad.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Talk about notch counts being irrelevant are flat out wrong. All statistics bear this out. You might beat those statistics but there's no reason to set yourself at a disadvantage needlessly.

But notch counts are not all measured the same way. As discussed previously, a girl who's banged two different guys twice is probably a better option that a girl who was dicked daily by the same guy for 5 years before he dumped her.

You need to be realistic on the numbers game but also develop a keen sense of female character.

Next. Guys need to stop looking for an LTR with a woman who already knows how to suck a golf ball through a garden hose simply because they want to have their cake and eat it too. Sexually skilled women were not born that way. If she's a pro in the sack then you're just one more cock on the carousel for her. Guys that want to be in an LTR should find a woman with a low dick/miles who's submissive enough to be taught the tricks you want her to perform. That's a whole other thread but you could sum it up by saying you are required to project the right balance of dominance and safety. Tricky, but possible.

Next. If you haven't burned out your ability to appreciate plain girls then youth+health>beauty. I'm not saying date a (recently legal) ugmo because she's as healthy as a horse, but you need to get real about thinking you have good odds of finding a stunning chick who's somehow been insulated from the benefits of her beauty and hasn't developed princess syndrome. Exceptions exist for guys that have killer prospects, killer game or simply get lucky, but if your standard is "all the good stuff" then you're opening yourself to the possibility that you're going to end up the male equivalent of a cat lady.

Know your value. Increase it or accept your current options. Girls will always wonder if they could have swung to a higher branch, but if they know for certain then they'll either dump you or make your life hell.

This ties back to the OP in the following way. As per the above your best bet is to find someone at your level or slightly below it. At best you need to find someone who ticks your boxes unconventionally and find value where the rest of society does not. I for example could fuck a chick with severe freckles through the side of a barn for the next 50 years. Other dudes would only hit it to tick off that entry on their fucket-list. At the front of a chicks mind for the next 50 years should be "the odds of me doing better than this guy were slim at best, and I'm lucky to have him."

This means that on a social level you might be well served to slum it.

Just a bit.

I know this sounds anathema to a "self improvement forum" but think about it. What is she there for except to fuck you, keep your house clean and pair bond with you? Do you know anyone with a trophy wife who has a deeply fulfilling relationship with them? It's rare, and you'll often find that they got that woman young and lucked out on how time would/n't sully her looks.

To paraphrase what I said in another thread. Find a service girl working a rung of society directly below yours in a dead end job who has youth, good manners, good grooming, the appearance of health, and meets the bare minimum requirement to get your dick hard. In your roundabout way, offer her the opportunity at a life where she doesn't have to work that shitty job ever again.

This may sound strange but of all the successful marriages I've seen, the vast majority involve a man with a good life/work balance and a women who isn't lazy but has zero desire to pursue a career.

I'm assuming marriage is the eventual goal. Personally I don't have a lot of advice for starting an LTR you anticipate binning at some stage in the future.

p.s. Men set expectations for women. I think that guys are going to eventually be disappointed if they try to look for a woman who's intellectually challenging or some variation of witty and charming. These are personas that women build for a reason, and the reason is not "so I can be subordinate to a man".

You're better off with a blank slate IMO.