[chvrches]

So I've matched a girl through tinder and we were talking a little bit before i decided to invite her over. I was taking the conversation to a sexual point and she seemed to enjoy it. We met up straight at my apartment and talked for a bit. I decided to put on the movie, but i couldn't get myself to escalate. We were sitting very close on the sofa, but i didn't know when to do something. I didn't even care about the movie i just thought about when or how i should touch her without it being weird. 20 min passed, 40 min etc and the longer i waited the more awkward i felt it was taking the step. She seemed very disappointed when the movie ended and i told her i have to get up early the next day, but it was nice hanging out with her. Almost as if she wanted me to do a move but i didn't...

It's my first time inviting a random girl over, without talking prior. I know for a fact she was 100% into having sex that night, but I was just too much of a pussy to take the first step. It's just that my game revolves around talking first and building comfort that way, so this is new for me.

I kept thinking about the advice people give on here, and the "escalation ladder" but i didn't actually know how to introduce it in this situation. Where we sit and watch a movie. Do i do the escalation before the movie comes on?

Can i get some field tested examples from you guys how you do it? Do i just pause the movie and go for the kissing and sex or do you finish it and then ask her if she wants to fuck. Im sorry for this newbie question, but i never had a one night stand.

Im meeting a new girl from tinder again and she's also coming straight to my apartment this weekend and i want to be prepared this time. I want to fix my mistake from last week. Any advice?

[casa-nostra]

(06-07-2018 01:06 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

So I've matched a girl through tinder and we were talking a little bit before i decided to invite her over. I was taking the conversation to a sexual point and she seemed to enjoy it. We met up straight at my apartment and talked for a bit. I decided to put on the movie, but i couldn't get myself to escalate. We were sitting very close on the sofa, but i didn't know when to do something. I didn't even care about the movie i just thought about when or how i should touch her without it being weird. 20 min passed, 40 min etc and the longer i waited the more awkward i felt it was taking the step. She seemed very disappointed when the movie ended and i told her i have to get up early the next day, but it was nice hanging out with her. Almost as if she wanted me to do a move but i didn't...

It's my first time inviting a random girl over, without talking prior. I know for a fact she was 100% into having sex that night, but I was just too much of a pussy to take the first step. It's just that my game revolves around talking first and building comfort that way, so this is new for me.

I kept thinking about the advice people give on here, and the "escalation ladder" but i didn't actually know how to introduce it in this situation. Where we sit and watch a movie. Do i do the escalation before the movie comes on?

Can i get some field tested examples from you guys how you do it? Do i just pause the movie and go for the kissing and sex or do you finish it and then ask her if she wants to fuck. Im sorry for this newbie question, but i never had a one night stand.

Im meeting a new girl from tinder again and she's also coming straight to my apartment this weekend and i want to be prepared this time. I want to fix my mistake from last week. Any advice?

you don't have enough confidance

My advice , buy alcohol and drink it with her while watching the movie ,it will help you if you are inexperienced.

Or just drink alcohol before she come , you will be se relaxed and you will make the move.


Just a question , where do you live ? it is usually hard that girl accepts to come over first date to a stranger place

[heavy]

You learned a hard lesson.

There's no way around it...escalating is going to feel awkward. Just accept that.

Awkward does not mean you're doing anything wrong, it just means you're doing something. It's awkward for her too.

Just think about it as tension. Without it, it's no fun anyway. There should always be tension. That's why it's fun for both of you to get through the tension.

[kaotic]

(06-07-2018 01:06 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

So I've matched a girl through tinder and we were talking a little bit before i decided to invite her over. I was taking the conversation to a sexual point and she seemed to enjoy it.

Sometimes it's ill advised to to escalate the conversation sexually before meeting a girl, especially if she comes over.

It's almost expected she thinks you're going to try and fuck her.

Instead just keep it light, funny, with light flirting.

Quote:

We met up straight at my apartment and talked for a bit. I decided to put on the movie, but i couldn't get myself to escalate. We were sitting very close on the sofa, but i didn't know when to do something.

You pulled a girl from tinder straight to your place - that's pretty great man!

What you should've done is offer her a drink or made dinner (this is thinking bigger than just coming over).

Quote:

I didn't even care about the movie i just thought about when or how i should touch her without it being weird. 20 min passed, 40 min etc and the longer i waited the more awkward i felt it was taking the step. She seemed very disappointed when the movie ended and i told her i have to get up early the next day, but it was nice hanging out with her. Almost as if she wanted me to do a move but i didn't...

You should've talked during the movie, made jokes, some light banter, gotten to know her a bit.

This means putting a movie on that she's probably seen before and that you can talk over (means out the volume down low).

The longer you wait the more akward it gets, of course your gut already told you that.

You should have at least wrapped your arm around her shoulder, see how she reacted, then escalate from there.

You should've at least kissed her, or went for the kiss before she left.

Quote:

It's my first time inviting a random girl over, without talking prior. I know for a fact she was 100% into having sex that night, but I was just too much of a pussy to take the first step. It's just that my game revolves around talking first and building comfort that way, so this is new for me.

This is okay brother, you knew what you needed to correct, just remind yourself of what you need to do BEFORE a girl comes over.

Quote:

I kept thinking about the advice people give on here, and the "escalation ladder" but i didn't actually know how to introduce it in this situation. Where we sit and watch a movie. Do i do the escalation before the movie comes on?

Can i get some field tested examples from you guys how you do it? Do i just pause the movie and go for the kissing and sex or do you finish it and then ask her if she wants to fuck. Im sorry for this newbie question, but i never had a one night stand.

Im meeting a new girl from tinder again and she's also coming straight to my apartment this weekend and i want to be prepared this time. I want to fix my mistake from last week. Any advice?

Blurred has a great Zero Date Bang Recipe:

thread-28403.html

Tuth has a killer one also:

thread-8681.html


Here's some standard plays:

-Have the girl come over, offer her a drink, see what she likes
-Throw on a movie, chill on the couch or bed.
-Chat her up a little bit, tease the fuck out of her.
-If she's receptive and laughs, say, "Come here" with a smile and wrap your arm around her, (If you're laying down this is even better)
-Slowly escalate with push and pull as in bring her closer, touch her more.
-Make sure her body language is receptive.
-Go in for the kiss, a short but intense makeout - pull back.
-Do this a few times, read her body language (is she moaning, pushing into you, etc)
-Start doing the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base moves, see how she reacts.
-Keep push and pulling.
-Pull the trigger and get her bottoms or tops off.
-Better yet guide her hand to your dick, see how she reacts.
-When in doubt whip it out from there.

Obviously after all this things get pretty easy.

You can both get naked on the couch or pick her up and carry her to your bed.

At this point her anti slut defenses and last minute resistance are pretty low, she might ask for a condom.

Fuck the shit out of her, then add a little comfort with cuddling at the end if you're both down.

Wash, rinse, repeat brother.

[MaxMillion]

You HAVE to do SOMETHING.

Best ever is to simply offer a leg/foot massage interspersed with a bit of alcohol. Light to medium touches on the legs and arches will almost certainly allow you to suck on her toes. She'll spread out a bit, horny as hell, and away you go...

[Tigre]

(06-07-2018 01:06 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

Can i get some field tested examples from you guys how you do it? Do i just pause the movie and go for the kissing and sex or do you finish it and then ask her if she wants to fuck. Im sorry for this newbie question, but i never had a one night stand.

Pause the movie and get up to do something for a second.

Tell her you're going to use the bathroom a moment / going to grab another pillow / going to get a drink and would she like one.

Sometimes if the girl is playing ball, she even does this before you do. Asks to pause the movie 15 minutes in, and goes to the bathroom. As she returns, you open your arms in a gesture for her to come to you. She comes. Game on.

[Vill@in]

(06-07-2018 01:06 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

Can i get some field tested examples from you guys how you do it? Do i just pause the movie and go for the kissing and sex or do you finish it and then ask her if she wants to fuck.

Definitely don't do this. You're already 'asking' her if she's down to fuck with your touching (i.e. if you aren't getting slapped and you're escalating each time you re-engage). Words are just that to women...words. They talk with 'feelz'.

Start the movie. DON'T PAUSE IT AT ANY TIME. Put your hand on her leg or around her shoulder...whatever. Start small. This will put her at ease (and yourself, as you warm up). After while, say something funny and then go in for the kiss. This will probably be your hardest obstacle to overcome, but this is the gateway. If she kisses you back, you're in. If she really isn't into it...ok, no problem. Maybe try again in a bit but never try for a third time. At that point it's not going to happen anyway.

Kiss her awhile and pull back, only to escalate more later OR just transition the kiss/make out to dry humping and eventually removing clothes. Just let instinct take over.

Look, she knows whats up when you invite her over for a movie. You're the MAN, so it's up to YOU to make the first move. She's pretty much saying "I'm here, now be a man and take me". She wants you to make the first move. You just gotta take action and do it.

[Trent W.]

I'd say have a drink with her first before you put on the movie. Get to know her, make her feel comfortable, show her you're a normal guy since it's the first time she sees you in real life. Show her around your apartment, let her comment on the decoration. Small things that make her realize you're safe and cool. With this approach it's not unlikely she will give you clear tells that she wants to f*ck right off the bat if that's what she wants.

You can't do much while watching a film, that's why first dates at the cinema are considered a bad idea. Once it's on just try to be close to one another, pretty much what the guys above have said.

[Repo]

Once I had a girl come over from tinder in a situation very much like the one you described. I made a move after 10 minutes of the movie. Afterward she said that felt like an eternity.

Lesson learned.

Look dude, you met on tinder, she came to "watch a movie", she knows the deal. When she arrives, make light talk, fix drinks for the two of you, turn on the movie, and make a move!!! Once it's on the longer you wait the more she'll think your scared. Good thing is your almost there, best of luck!

[Sam Malone]

(06-07-2018 02:20 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You can both get naked on the couch or pick her up and carry her to your bed.

Kaotic's whole post is gold, this line in particular stands out though.

You'd be surprised how many women have never been carried to the bedroom. It's not only pure caveman, but tells her right off the bat that YOU'RE the director of tonight's episode.

[Batman_]

I would never invite a girl over to watch a movie. How awkward. You have to sit there for two hours amid a bunch of sexual tension knowing there will likely never be a real moment where you could suddenly escalate in a natural way uinless you're constantly pausing/chatting during the movie, which sort of defeats the purpose.

Personally I prefer doing something a little more active, cooking her dinner is always a good idea, especially if prepare something that takes a long time and give her time to have a few drinks.

I don't think you really "failed" - that is a tricky situation. And since that was a first date at your place, you at least did some things right.

[rudebwoy]

Have a bottle of red wine at your place at all times.

Open the bottle when she comes over, pour a glass for her and yourself.

Drink the wine slowly and maintain eye contact. The wine will loosen her up and make her talk.

Act like you find her interesting, small compliment.

Delay watching the movie, ask her what music she likes. Play the music and get to know her, make her feel comfortable.

Then pounce on her like a fucking Lion on a gazelle on one of those nature tv shows.

The girl you invited was disappointed because she was expecting sex, it is summertime and women are in heat.

DON'T BE A PUSSY!!!

[tobehero]

Put some music on.
Chat
Have some drinks if need be
Kiss
Don't even need TV

[lonewolf1992]

Man the first time I escalated in my life I was nearly dying out of nervousness. I know what you're talking about. Everytime I live that moment when in silence I know I have to go for a kiss or do something, I still feel a bit of that fear in my gut. I love it.

Assuming you've warmed her up with light kino and light flirting, You also need to learn to be a RUTHLESS motherfucker. What I mean is always go for a kiss in that moment of silence. I tip i use is to ask a random or stupid question and let her talk, while she's talking I strike and take her off guard.

Worst case scenario she turns her head, you try a second time. She turns her head again. YOU TRY THE FINAL LAST AND THIRD TIME and if she rejects. Then you act as if you don't care and move on, either send her away and feel like you tried your best and learn.

I've been rejected some times. But most of the times it's worked for me, even when the girl is not very receptive during the first kisses. You need to keep pushing, keep trying and not give up!

Remember masculinity is about being aggresive and going for what you want.

[birthday cat]

When you first see a girl at the beginning of the date give her a small hug, kiss on the cheek, and when you start walking lead her with your hand on the small of her back. This will break the touch barrier, help set the tone of the date for both of you, and remind you to escalate throughout the date.

[Winston Wolfe]

(06-07-2018 07:37 PM)Sam Malone Wrote:  

(06-07-2018 02:20 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You can both get naked on the couch or pick her up and carry her to your bed.

Kaotic's whole post is gold, this line in particular stands out though.

You'd be surprised how many women have never been carried to the bedroom. It's not only pure caveman, but tells her right off the bat that YOU'RE the director of tonight's episode.

My go to move is to have her dry humping me on the couch (facing me) and then suddenly just picking her up and walking to the bedroom, never breaking eye contact.

They all love this move.

Every. Single. Girl.

[Sidney Crosby]

Take her hand and put it on your dick, then take it out depending on her reaction.

[Vienna]

The moment you feel a little tension in your gut is the moment you should kiss her.

Put a little feeler out by playing with her hair, softly. If her body language stays open then go for the kiss.

[BadgerHut]

(06-11-2018 06:53 AM)Vienna Wrote:  

The moment you feel a little tension in your gut is the moment you should kiss her.

Great tips in this thread - especially this one. When you feel that tension, slowly count to 5 in your head and then do it.

Escalating is called that for a reason, you gradually go up the steps of intimacy. This serves congruence purposes and allows her to stop/back off if it's too much for her, which keeps you out of legal trouble. Whatever you do, do it firmly...any kind of hover hands, touching/rubbing her leg or whatever without making a serious move, and she'll start wondering why you aren't man enough to do it.

And forget about pausing the movie. Just let it play in the background, or once you're hot and heavy, stop and say "I should probably pause this." Then go back to your moves.

[beachbum]

Not to get all sappy but this isn’t a failure at all. You got a girl to come over straight from tinder (not to mention another on the way) and most importantly, you’re learning from the experience.

Personally, I’ve found that my game and life in general becomes a whole lot less stressful, and I take way more risks, when I view each girl/challenge as just another opportunity to learn and expand myself.

Everyone else (especially kaotic) has provided great info directly related to this situation so I have nothing to add, except to keep mindframe positive, flirty, and confident the next time around. Just go for it and see what happens. If it doesn’t work, you’ll learn for next time.

[crispytaco]

(06-07-2018 01:06 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

.." She seemed very disappointed when the movie ended and i told her i have to get up early the next day,...

Dude... you say that when you don't like the girl and you want to kick her out (I just did it last week).

(06-07-2018 01:06 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

Can i get some field tested examples from you guys how you do it? Do i just pause the movie and go for the kissing and sex or do you finish it and then ask her if she wants to fuck.

Oh my... I know somebody already say that but in case you forgot... You NEVER ask! The sexual tension is built with emotions, not words. If you ask you are putting her in a complicated situation, as she doesn't want to look bitchy. And don't pause the movie... the silence will make it arkward.

But if you want to do it again,
a) watch a comedy,
b) use the bed or sofa if not possible.
c) you don't wait 1 hour and then suddenly you grab her boob. Nop, As soon as you sit you tell her to get comfortable, have her lay towards you, ( dude, I'm trying to make it easy for you), get your arm around her neck or waist and bring a dessert to share with the same spoon (optional). See, the movie is starting and you are in first base already..
d) pretend you are watching while playing with her hair, neck, hands, and when you see she likes it, kiss her neck or ears in case you are still shy. If she closes her eyes, smiles or moans, go straight to her lips.
e) Go SLOW!!!!. touch her back ans legs when kissing.
f) Is she switches position to makeout with you or sits facing you in your lap, then you hit the lottery.
g) If she stops, then be cool, re- arrange position and some minutes later go to step d again .

One day it took me 17 cycles to get the bang.

IF still having problems, go to an activity where you are touching her by default, like dancing, get some alcohol and dance close until you can kiss her and continue from there.

[jamaicabound]

Hey brother, your on Tinder, it's pretty much the same thing as Craigslist Casual Encounters used to be, while I total understand feeling anxious, there's no reason to be, you both know what she came over for, she was digging you or she wouldn't have come over to a strangers house. You didn't even need "game" you literally could have just lunged over at her like a Freshmen in high school on his first date and she probably would have gone for it. Don't overthink it so much.

[questor70]

The way to handle couch movie escalation (outside of Tinder bangs) is to make sure she's coming over late, like at least 9PM if not later. Put in a long movie, preferably something that is fairly boring and liable to put anyone to sleep. Then wait for her to start getting horizontal, which is when she'll probably drape her legs on your lap. From there you have every reason to rest your hands on her legs and that proceeds to caressing. Pretend it's "just" a massage, whatever. Women love the plausible deniability banter even though they know it's bullshit. Also, with her lying down you soon have a plausibly deniable reason to lie down as well and now you're both pressed up against each other and the rest should be pretty smooth sailing.

The important thing is to treat the movie as merely a way to ease into a half-asleep state of relaxation. Everything from the moment her legs drop on your lap is foreplay whether she's conscious of it or not. Her body is getting used to being touched by you and you're building comfort by taking it gradually.

[PapayaTapper]

As a veteran of many many "movie" at home dates I can tell you that its very simple.

The movie doesn't matter one little bit.

About 10 min in but absolutely no more than 15, without a word, you reach over and take her wine / cocktail glass from her hand, put on the coffee / side table then again without a word, you caveman her.

A girl comes over to your place?... She came knowing what was up. What she wants is a guy that knows what he wants and isn't going to make her feel weird about it.

Overthinking this scenario, vis a vis taking too long, is how most guys end up two hours into what was a sure thing, having watched a shitty movie and with blue balls.

Fucking aint rocket strategery

[Ultimate Wingman]

Brother, I know how you feel. Maaaan it sucks. I've been there, trust me I've been there.

I haven't read thru the thread so apologies if somebody here has already answered this but I'm guessing that most posts are wrong.

WHY?

Because we're dudes.

Men and women approach things differently.

Women can sniff things out in milliseconds using their emotional intuitive super-powers (YOU NEED TO KNOW THEY HAVE THIS) whereas us dudes might take hours analyzing the fuck out of some scenario, thinking about all the logic

First off, the fact that she came over to watch a movie is a sign that she's down. I hope you know that. I know as guys, we'd like it if a girl said "yo, i'm down to fuck, you down?"

It ain't gonna happen, they don't want to seem like a slut. Us guys could care less but girls give a shit about that, or at least the ones I've hooked up with.

So now that you know she's down, IT'S ON YOU TO MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE. Do you even know how to? Like if you had a family member fly in from halfway around the world, you'd try to make them feel at home, right? Give em a beer, food, whatever. Ok, maybe not the best example as that might not be what you'd give the girl but it's the underlying principle that counts. Based on what your paragraph stated, you were in your own head, counting down the minutes.

YOU WERE SCARED

That's ok. Just fess up to it now so you don't make this mistake again. This gets deeper because where else in life are you scared? Yep, Im going there. If you get scared and are afraid to express yourself in other situations, maybe with your homies, then it's in your personality to NOT express your sexual side with a girl so you've got to take a hard look in the mirror and do AN INTERNAL AUDIT and check yourself.

Ok, how would I have done this? Well, right from the get go, I know if a girl is down or not. This will take time for your intuition to develop but my personal filters have been letting a girl know RIGHT AWAY I'M ATTRACTED so she knows I'm a man. Since you're using Tinder, it's pretty much set. But now how to take it to next level? You have to "feel" her energy. Yeah, i know i'm getting hippy-ish here but when you get this shit, you can feel it. Just like when you know it's hot, you know when a girl is down or not.

To give an easy filter, credit to GLL for learning this trick awhile back, but just holding a girls hand. If you hold her hand and she pulls away, that's a sign she might not be comfortable with your touch, YET.

THAT'S A BIG ASS YET.

I had a girl once where she asked me to give her a massage so I was like, cool, lemme wait a few min and go for snatch but when I got to snatch, BLOCKED by her hand. I was like wtf? But for whatever reason, the suspense, the buildup, whatever she was into, I tried again, and then GREEN LIGHT. Actually as I typed that last sentence, I just remembered another potential reason. She maybe wanted to know if I RESPECTED HER BOUNDARIES.

Total side note but I CAN'T EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW MUCH IT HELPS TO THINK LIKE GIRLS SOMETIMES. Just one small action can speak VOLUMES about your personality. Say if a person is unwilling to jaywalk, that's a sign they might be very conservative and/or scared or on the other extreme opposite end of spectrum, a person who will just walk in front of cars almost causing accidents where it means that person is either totally free but borderline selfish and not caring for others.

Why is this psycho mumbo jumbo shit important, BECAUSE GIRLS CAN FEEL IF YOU'RE A MAN WITH A DICK or a PUSSY ASS BITCH. If you wuss out, be prepared to NEVER GET ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY AGAIN. If a girl really likes you, she might give you more chances but don't rely on that. There are some girls who just due to timing, right mood, right place at right time, will give it up but you've got to be on point and be the man.

So to end on this note, first check yourself to know if you've got fear or not. Be honest with yourself. By being honest, that at least shows courage and strength and you can work from there vs continuing on blindly in the dark losing out on potential poontang in the future. Then work on your intuition by noticing little things because GIRLS DO THIS ALL THE TIME. Think of it as another language to learn so you BOTH can do the dance of hooking up via hand holding, back massages, inviting over a girl for Netflix or just to look at your cool new pictures on your laptop.

Good luck bro and peace

(06-07-2018 01:06 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

So I've matched a girl through tinder and we were talking a little bit before i decided to invite her over. I was taking the conversation to a sexual point and she seemed to enjoy it. We met up straight at my apartment and talked for a bit. I decided to put on the movie, but i couldn't get myself to escalate. We were sitting very close on the sofa, but i didn't know when to do something. I didn't even care about the movie i just thought about when or how i should touch her without it being weird. 20 min passed, 40 min etc and the longer i waited the more awkward i felt it was taking the step. She seemed very disappointed when the movie ended and i told her i have to get up early the next day, but it was nice hanging out with her. Almost as if she wanted me to do a move but i didn't...

It's my first time inviting a random girl over, without talking prior. I know for a fact she was 100% into having sex that night, but I was just too much of a pussy to take the first step. It's just that my game revolves around talking first and building comfort that way, so this is new for me.

I kept thinking about the advice people give on here, and the "escalation ladder" but i didn't actually know how to introduce it in this situation. Where we sit and watch a movie. Do i do the escalation before the movie comes on?

Can i get some field tested examples from you guys how you do it? Do i just pause the movie and go for the kissing and sex or do you finish it and then ask her if she wants to fuck. Im sorry for this newbie question, but i never had a one night stand.

Im meeting a new girl from tinder again and she's also coming straight to my apartment this weekend and i want to be prepared this time. I want to fix my mistake from last week. Any advice?