Welcome. I'd suggest buying and working through 'Is Your Genius At Work?' by Dick Richards. It's a powerful little workbook to help you identify what you ARE good at (and how your interests all tie together in some fundamental way). It's helped me re-orient my life twice (I did it once about 5 years ago and again 2 years ago). I'd start with this, as there is no propaganda for any particular direction - Richard focuses on having YOU reflect upon yourself.
Then, I'd suggest 'Worthless' by Aaron Clarey / Captain Capitalism (who has a YT channel under his name). I haven't read the book myself (I got a STEM degree and worked at various tech companies before starting my own tech-related company a decade and a half ago). Be careful of Clarey's negativity and pessimism, but he has useful experience to share.
You could also take the Myers-Briggs personality test which usually is available free on various sites. The results will often point to careers that fit your personality type. You might take the test a few times (or a few tests) to get an accurate assessment in case your mood changes from one week to another. I've tested ISTP, INFP, and INTP. The core personality traits I know about me are that I'm:
-satisfied with hands-on work that shows a physical result
-drawn to understand the theory and science behind what I'm doing in an effort to improve a product / gadget / process. I like both theory and practice, so I'm in a self-created trade that is also highly technical which is where my university science and math training comes in handy.
-prefer to work without direct supervision / manager standing over my shoulders.
-far more comfortable and productive with fewer or no women around (or older, more stable women in admin roles). The sexual politics of a workplace with too many women makes it difficult to focus on work vs. the games women play at work and the men who play into those games. Hence, trades are a much better draw here and for someone like you who may be working on self-esteem, will keep that drama farther from you.
-more interested in spending leisure time alone when I work with many people. These days now that I work by myself, I prefer to be more social with my leisure time, such as joining a rock climbing gym to get exercise rather than lifting weights by myself and not talking with anyone. So, you'll want to find need a balance between your school, work, and social life, and adjust each to provide the right amount of alone vs. social time that works for you.
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Before doing a lot of planning for future career / educational / trade school, I would *highly* recommend you find a good therapist to speak with. I've had good results with Dr. Tara Palmatier, website:
https://shrink4men.wordpress.com/about. She specializes in helping men through past relationship / family trauma and has been associated with Paul Elam / A Voice For Men. She's pretty red-pilled. Look her up, check out her articles, and decide if schedule some phone or Skype sessions makes sense for you. The time you spend engaged in inner healing / examination will pay major dividends down the road. I'm in my 40s and have used therapists several times over the years but if I'd have started in my 20s I'd have been farther ahead financially and emotionally.
I will also put in a vote for mindful psychedelic use BUT not until you've done a fair bit of therapy. It's not something to mess with casually and I didn't use cannabis or psilocybin until having done multiple silent retreats, therapy sessions, and solo trips to get comfortable being alone. Those who have done various psychedelics with experienced guides / shamans have found deep inner healing. It can be very intense and isn't for everyone, but if you're prepared it can truly shift your awareness in a way that other methods simply can't, or not nearly as quickly.
Make sure to get as much fresh air as you can, take a 30 min walk everyday, consider joining a social / ballroom dance club or trying it out as it's a great way to socialize without dating pressure and you get comfortable both moving your body, learning a new skills, and engaging with women. In general, you want to move your body more than you sit in front of the computer! I speak from experience having been desk-bound or Internet-bound for years. Practice mindfulness, check out Wif Hof breathing ('The Ice Man!') - it all helps with depression.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np0jGp6442A
Check that your diet isn't loaded with carbs / refined sugar / excess alcohol. Step by step - you're already on your way. Good luck, brother! Feel free to PM if you wanted to have a private chat (no personal info, as always).
