Quote: (05-10-2018 06:10 PM)HankMoody Wrote:
5. Hogs. You'll get laid on a big hog. I've never taken the time to learn how to ride one. They are not just pussy magnets, they are vagina orbits. You'll be sucking in pussy from miles away at the sound of your bike, vaginas oozing at the sound of your muffler. Learning how to ride one is on my "to do" list. Hogs are king in terms of women.
Sure, if you like boomer fatties. Harley is doing absolutely terribly with the youth market and women are no exception. It's no coincidence most of them are ridden by guys who look like retired Santa Clauses. I had a Harley Softail in the late-2000s. Went to one bike event and at 38 years old I was one of the youngest guys there. Then I saw the table selling Viagra next to the one hawking T shirts. Born to be wild... my ass.
I sold that bike, bought a sport bike and never looked back. Bikes may or may not make sense where you live - wearing headphones while riding definitely does not.
A few other thoughts:
- Women know shit all about cars. For the most part, I've found the vehicle isn't all that important when it comes to impressing women. As long as you don't show up in something filthy or embarrassing to be seen in you're usually ok.
- That said, the car must be age appropriate. To her, 20 year old in crappy car = college student, but a 40 year old in crappy car = divorced, loser dad.
- Don't buy something so expensive as to be a slave to the payments. Kills me when Uber drivers do this - defeats the whole purpose of making money while driving.
- Nearly every car is depreciable and therefore not an investment. Yeah, I know about the 2005-2006 Ford GT. Did you buy one? Great - now sell it before the market collapses. And yes,
the collector car market is collapsing.
- Everybody thinks owning a Jeep (Rubicon, Wrangler, old CJ, etc - not the Cherokee/SUV) is great until they actually own one. Oh, and for some reason lately they are popular with gay men too, FWIW. Ditto for Minis.
- Leases can be great
if the payment is low enough - but it's easy to defeat the purpose and spend way too much. Usually the car you really want is too expensive, but you can get a cheap truck near the end of the year for almost nothing.
- I've never met a women truly "impressed" by a truck. Not even in rural areas, but who knows - YMMV. There is a lot of room to fuck even in the front seats, but parking sucks - do you really need a truck every day?
- You can drive a piece of crap your whole life and nothing will happen to it. Get a nice car and it turns into a moron magnet - someone will smack you, either in traffic or the parking lot.
- Get a dash cam, front and rear, and make sure it's functioning properly. There's no substitute for evidence.
- Thanks to technology, modern muscle car gas mileage is comparable - sometimes better - than trucks. Old muscle cars are either wildly overpriced (again, asshat boomers re-living their youth) and/or overrated. A modern Challenger with a basic V8 can run circles around the ones from yesteryear and are a hell of a lot more reliable and feature-laden. Ditto for Mustangs and Camaros - there's no comparison. Forget the past.
- Before buying something old, ask yourself if you really know how to tinker or are willing to learn. I grew up fixing these things, but many younger guys can't work anything with their hands that isn't a keyboard and have no interest.
- There is less to tune and fix on modern cars, but yes, you can still fix a few things yourself, or at least be aware of when the mechanic is trying to fleece you on repairs.
- There is no such thing as a cheap Maserati/Ferrari/Bentley etc. Do some research on repair parts and estimate of total cost of ownership. If you still aren't dissuaded, at least get a damned warranty that will the drivetrain.
- Even with the improved economy, the car market is sluggish. Whether or not it's more people using Uber, it definitely isn't on fire right now. You should be able to negotiate a pretty good deal any time of year.
- Forget KBB - the dealers don't use them and they are owned by the same company as Autotrader, a dealer-oriented advertisement site. Makes me wonder seriously about the published trade in values. Instead, get a subscription to what they really use -
Black Book. That's what dealers use. Yeah it's kind of expensive at $65 for one month but that should be all you need. Spend it now or regret it later.