Struggles Of A Muslim Virgin Man Living In The West; hardest game riddle of all
04-24-2018, 07:26 AM
Guys, if you can help me solve my problem, there may be hope for anyone... so here goes.
This is an offshoot to an earlier active thread
thread-49405.html ).
I have the same problem, but the only thing is I'm him several years later. Most of you guys might not realize, but there are countless Muslim men like me, in their 30s, even some in their 40s, living in the west, having a very hard time finding a wife. Which is all we are really looking for (Muslim women in the west have the same problem too).
Anyway, I do not want to make this a thread about changing my ways. I'm not open to it. If you're a Muslim man in the west, and didn't take advantage of the social opportunities in college to meet other Muslim girls in college, or if you are not part of a very tight knit community who seems to always have prospects for you to consider (like Somalis in Minnesota, or Afghans in the Bay Area, or Arabs in Dearborn, MI), you end up futilely looking for a spouse because we make up 1-2% of the population, and without being super social and well known, it's very hard to meet new prospects, unless you're ok to marry someone you might not really be attracted or very compatible with. Our parents had no clue what we were up against and didn't know how to advise us, and in college, when they should have encouraged us to look for a suitable spouse, instead were discouraged, and told to focus on studies and that after your career is set, then start looking. Big mistake.
On the bright side, I have a very unique situation.
-I run a business, and it can be run remotely. In other words, I can go anywhere in the world, and make very good money by any standard.
-I have complete flexibility in my schedule (all I have to do is answer emails and sometimes take calls).
-Looks wise, I'm relatively decent. 5'9," 165lbs, and fit, look kinda like Imran Hashmi, and also a light-skinned desi. So basically ok looking, but definitely nothing special, and of course, could use a few inches in height, but whatever.
What am I looking for:
-A Muslim girl who hasn't gone all the way in any past relationship(she doesn't have to be strict, just that she should know her limits)
-somewhat young, as I do hope to have a big family and to also space the ages of the kids a few years (just a personal preference)
-reasonably attractive (I know, it's kind of superficial, but I try to keep up well, so we shouldn't look out of place together)
So my questions are 1) where should I go, and 2) what should I do?
I'm looking for suggestions and critiques.
Here's my own answer to these two questions:
Where should I go?
It should be a place where i) women are not hard to meet, so the statistic to consider is women in the workforce, ii) where people live healthy and have had good nutrition, so life expectancy is a statistic to consider, iii) median age of the place should be young because places with older people, it's harder to find what you're looking for, iv) percent of the population is Muslim, the higher the better, I know what it's like looking for a needle in a western haystack, v) English prevalence should be ok, since I only speak English and some Urdu.
The countries that I was considering were Azerbaijan, Bosnia, Iran, Kazakhstan, Lebanon, Morocco, Pakistan, Tunisia, and Turkey. The problem is ALL of these countries have flaws when considering the factors I've listed. The three countries which stand out are Turkey, Bosnia, and Lebanon. They are countries with a decent standard of living (so not as hard to find women who are healthy, and who don't look of for their age), finding English speakers isn't that rare, and women are often participating in the workforce, so they are more prominent. The other countries seem to be much less than ideal. So out of Turkey, Bosnia, and Lebanon, I'm leaning most toward Turkey. Istanbul has a huge population, and also draws in a lot of tourists, so it isn't as homogenous, which is also a good thing. You'll find people who are all over the spectrum from liberal to conservative, so finding someone with the right balance should be easier here than other places.
What should I do?
I am thinking of hiring a personal assistant, pay maybe $15 USD/hr for a girl who is relatively young, and attractive, who will legitimately help me with work (I'll need help in translating materials if I want to also market my products in the local country, which is good for my US-based business), but who I'll also make a routine of walking through urban areas, and she can help break the ice with prospects who I notice during the day. So basically, a paid assistant who also will help as wing woman. I guess I can find someone through Instagram, and tell them I'm looking for an assistant, and for most countries $15/hr is very good pay.
I will also have a Regus platinum plus account, which has several offices globally, and I can hop from office to office every day, and meet different people. There are often attractive local women who staff these offices in western countries, so I'm thinking if the same situation applies to a place like Istanbul or Beirut, or maybe Sarajevo, it might be a potential source to meet English-speaking locals.
I don't drink or a partier, so I'll be working mostly in the evenings anyway, but I expect the personal assistant would have a decent social circle and I could attend social events, and have her help in introducing me to people.
I figure if I go with this routine, it's going to result in something within three months.
But if anyone has better ideas for someone in my situation who is fortunate enough to even do this, do let me know. I figure social circle climbing/game is important, so if anyone has hacks I can use to my advantage, I'd love to hear it.
PS: As an aside, I also thought about an area in the west where there are a lot of Muslims, like Marseille, if anyone has any insight into applying this approach there, that'd be helpful. I assume it's not worth it though.
This is an offshoot to an earlier active thread
thread-49405.html ).I have the same problem, but the only thing is I'm him several years later. Most of you guys might not realize, but there are countless Muslim men like me, in their 30s, even some in their 40s, living in the west, having a very hard time finding a wife. Which is all we are really looking for (Muslim women in the west have the same problem too).
Anyway, I do not want to make this a thread about changing my ways. I'm not open to it. If you're a Muslim man in the west, and didn't take advantage of the social opportunities in college to meet other Muslim girls in college, or if you are not part of a very tight knit community who seems to always have prospects for you to consider (like Somalis in Minnesota, or Afghans in the Bay Area, or Arabs in Dearborn, MI), you end up futilely looking for a spouse because we make up 1-2% of the population, and without being super social and well known, it's very hard to meet new prospects, unless you're ok to marry someone you might not really be attracted or very compatible with. Our parents had no clue what we were up against and didn't know how to advise us, and in college, when they should have encouraged us to look for a suitable spouse, instead were discouraged, and told to focus on studies and that after your career is set, then start looking. Big mistake.
On the bright side, I have a very unique situation.
-I run a business, and it can be run remotely. In other words, I can go anywhere in the world, and make very good money by any standard.
-I have complete flexibility in my schedule (all I have to do is answer emails and sometimes take calls).
-Looks wise, I'm relatively decent. 5'9," 165lbs, and fit, look kinda like Imran Hashmi, and also a light-skinned desi. So basically ok looking, but definitely nothing special, and of course, could use a few inches in height, but whatever.
What am I looking for:
-A Muslim girl who hasn't gone all the way in any past relationship(she doesn't have to be strict, just that she should know her limits)
-somewhat young, as I do hope to have a big family and to also space the ages of the kids a few years (just a personal preference)
-reasonably attractive (I know, it's kind of superficial, but I try to keep up well, so we shouldn't look out of place together)
So my questions are 1) where should I go, and 2) what should I do?
I'm looking for suggestions and critiques.
Here's my own answer to these two questions:
Where should I go?
It should be a place where i) women are not hard to meet, so the statistic to consider is women in the workforce, ii) where people live healthy and have had good nutrition, so life expectancy is a statistic to consider, iii) median age of the place should be young because places with older people, it's harder to find what you're looking for, iv) percent of the population is Muslim, the higher the better, I know what it's like looking for a needle in a western haystack, v) English prevalence should be ok, since I only speak English and some Urdu.
The countries that I was considering were Azerbaijan, Bosnia, Iran, Kazakhstan, Lebanon, Morocco, Pakistan, Tunisia, and Turkey. The problem is ALL of these countries have flaws when considering the factors I've listed. The three countries which stand out are Turkey, Bosnia, and Lebanon. They are countries with a decent standard of living (so not as hard to find women who are healthy, and who don't look of for their age), finding English speakers isn't that rare, and women are often participating in the workforce, so they are more prominent. The other countries seem to be much less than ideal. So out of Turkey, Bosnia, and Lebanon, I'm leaning most toward Turkey. Istanbul has a huge population, and also draws in a lot of tourists, so it isn't as homogenous, which is also a good thing. You'll find people who are all over the spectrum from liberal to conservative, so finding someone with the right balance should be easier here than other places.
What should I do?
I am thinking of hiring a personal assistant, pay maybe $15 USD/hr for a girl who is relatively young, and attractive, who will legitimately help me with work (I'll need help in translating materials if I want to also market my products in the local country, which is good for my US-based business), but who I'll also make a routine of walking through urban areas, and she can help break the ice with prospects who I notice during the day. So basically, a paid assistant who also will help as wing woman. I guess I can find someone through Instagram, and tell them I'm looking for an assistant, and for most countries $15/hr is very good pay.
I will also have a Regus platinum plus account, which has several offices globally, and I can hop from office to office every day, and meet different people. There are often attractive local women who staff these offices in western countries, so I'm thinking if the same situation applies to a place like Istanbul or Beirut, or maybe Sarajevo, it might be a potential source to meet English-speaking locals.
I don't drink or a partier, so I'll be working mostly in the evenings anyway, but I expect the personal assistant would have a decent social circle and I could attend social events, and have her help in introducing me to people.
I figure if I go with this routine, it's going to result in something within three months.
But if anyone has better ideas for someone in my situation who is fortunate enough to even do this, do let me know. I figure social circle climbing/game is important, so if anyone has hacks I can use to my advantage, I'd love to hear it.
PS: As an aside, I also thought about an area in the west where there are a lot of Muslims, like Marseille, if anyone has any insight into applying this approach there, that'd be helpful. I assume it's not worth it though.
![[Image: Swedenistan+source+its+the+tie_8fe0ed_5889457.jpg]](https://funnypictures4.fjcdn.com/pictures/Swedenistan+source+its+the+tie_8fe0ed_5889457.jpg)
