Hello, my name is Donovan Fitzgerald but many call me Don. I'm 25 years old, 5'10 fat, balding and boring. OH AND I AM THE VERY DEFINITION OF A BETA SIMP CUCK
I started this Journal because I don't want to flood this forum with questions and I would love to track my progress. I'm tired of being like this and I feel that if I work hard enough I can drastically transform!
A Little About me (skip if needed)
Simply put I lack discipline. I fail in life because I don't have the discipline to change! All the people I look up to are Alpha Males. I know HOW to be cool calm and collected, I know how to lose weight and become more attractive, I know how to relieve stress but I just don't have the energy or the willpower to do so. However, a big change occurred that might give me a push to change (ill get into that later)
My notch count is around 13 with only 4 of those being above a 6, 1 is a 9 (10 to me). Club game isn't for me. When I do talk to girls they're from cold approaches/day game. I've been called charming, funny, VERY intelligent, very ambitious and witty, But for reason's I will get into later I simply don't feel the same way.
Important Bit
OK to put it out there I was in a [i]VERY[/i] emotionally abusive relationship with a girl who was an 8. I was always kinda a yes man but became really codependent once I met her. Anyway we were "friends" for 3 years, in those 3 years she fucked 14 guys. said every evil thing imaginable, did every stalkerish thing imaginable and I wasted thousands of dollars on her (it's 100% my fault).She's super jealous and I feared for my life (since she owned a gun). She begs me to be her boyfriend but I deny her and that makes her act even worse.
Long story short, she was going juggling me and this guy last month and got pregnant by one of us. The dude ran off and left me to have to pay for the clinic visit. She wanted an abortion and as much as I'm usually pro-life, I wanted her to get one way more. The test showed that she got pregnant around the 10th-15th which means it's still a coin flip to see who baby it is.....Anyway, this ended up killing our "friendship" because the hormones made her even worse. I drove over 400 miles and spent nearly $900 on this abortion. We came to an agreement yesterday that we are not compatible.
So where do I go from here? I want to go Bruce Wayne/monk mode for a while, while I increase my money, status, charisma, and looks.
I don't masturbate but that's because I got very consistent sex from her. I fear this may make me go back to her.
I want to do a search but its hard to tell what threads are golden and what are flops. There are many golden threads with only 1 or 2 replies where there are flops with pages worth of replies.
Also, I want to start a workout journal also, or should I keep everything on here?
I started this Journal because I don't want to flood this forum with questions and I would love to track my progress. I'm tired of being like this and I feel that if I work hard enough I can drastically transform!
A Little About me (skip if needed)
Simply put I lack discipline. I fail in life because I don't have the discipline to change! All the people I look up to are Alpha Males. I know HOW to be cool calm and collected, I know how to lose weight and become more attractive, I know how to relieve stress but I just don't have the energy or the willpower to do so. However, a big change occurred that might give me a push to change (ill get into that later)
My notch count is around 13 with only 4 of those being above a 6, 1 is a 9 (10 to me). Club game isn't for me. When I do talk to girls they're from cold approaches/day game. I've been called charming, funny, VERY intelligent, very ambitious and witty, But for reason's I will get into later I simply don't feel the same way.
Important Bit
OK to put it out there I was in a [i]VERY[/i] emotionally abusive relationship with a girl who was an 8. I was always kinda a yes man but became really codependent once I met her. Anyway we were "friends" for 3 years, in those 3 years she fucked 14 guys. said every evil thing imaginable, did every stalkerish thing imaginable and I wasted thousands of dollars on her (it's 100% my fault).She's super jealous and I feared for my life (since she owned a gun). She begs me to be her boyfriend but I deny her and that makes her act even worse.
Long story short, she was going juggling me and this guy last month and got pregnant by one of us. The dude ran off and left me to have to pay for the clinic visit. She wanted an abortion and as much as I'm usually pro-life, I wanted her to get one way more. The test showed that she got pregnant around the 10th-15th which means it's still a coin flip to see who baby it is.....Anyway, this ended up killing our "friendship" because the hormones made her even worse. I drove over 400 miles and spent nearly $900 on this abortion. We came to an agreement yesterday that we are not compatible.
So where do I go from here? I want to go Bruce Wayne/monk mode for a while, while I increase my money, status, charisma, and looks.
I don't masturbate but that's because I got very consistent sex from her. I fear this may make me go back to her.
I want to do a search but its hard to tell what threads are golden and what are flops. There are many golden threads with only 1 or 2 replies where there are flops with pages worth of replies.
Also, I want to start a workout journal also, or should I keep everything on here?