[treypound]

One of my closest college buddies is beta is in the running for beta of the year. He is 30, successful financial advisor, no kids, never married. He unfortunately has fallen head over heels for an older divorced milf (35, 7 in looks dept but recently divorced, living off alimony from prior marriage, and has a 9 year old).

They both have instagram, and on his page he has 10 percent of his photos are of her (6 of 60). Ironically, she has no photos of them together, and only 2 that reference him. Both are scenic pics of places he took her (New York City and Skiing).

Besides telling him he's an idiot, what real advice would any suggest?

[kaotic]

This a tough one dude.

It's possible he won't see the light and think you're jealous of his "catch" and it will ruin your friendship.

Tread lightly.

You can always make off hand comments about him not being in any of her IG pics.

A more serious convo might be the fact she got divorced once and lives off alimony. If she did it to one guy, she'll do it to him.

The ironic thing is this dude is in finance.

Some men you just can't reach - as much as you'd like to help - you've got to decide which is more important - your friendship - or saving him from a grave mistake.

[gework]

I think there are two ways it can happen:

1) You show how they are under attack, how the current climate is increasingly about redistributing men's value away from them on virtue of being a man and being told all the world's problems are their fault at the same time. Given the situation you could try dropping in the Dave Foley divorce video. Drop it in without any context. You could try dropping in a few other things and see where it leads. The likely reactions are:

a) He'll start to see certain things as a threat and become more receptive to more info
b) He'll associate with the side of women as he finds safety there, which is very likely as a beta of the year

2) You completely break his persona, Full Metal Jacket style.

I red pilled one guy pretty quickly by sending him a lot of material the radical feminists produce. At the time he was under a real tyranny and would make numerous comments (which I saw in some ways as cries for help) regarding how he had to get permission to do pretty much anything. Now the same girl is saying she wants to be a stay at home mother.

Other guys I sent the same material to have ended up going really far left, because they associate with the tribe of feminism and all the other left wing mobs that use emotional manipulation to extract resources from their out-groups and beta providers.

One of these guys has had a long history of slandering any area of male endeavour and becoming very submissively combative when exposed to male energy. He has no place in this world, so he will always side with women who give him zero respect for his pedestalling persona and outlook. And he's paying the price. He's with a bat-shit cray leftist, tax avoiding hypocrite with razor blade cuts all down her arms and he's constantly worrying that she will find out what an idiot he is (his own words). The only solution for such people is to be utterly broken by a woman who they gave everything to and she will, of course, take it all + stunt cocks.

[PapayaTapper]

If he doesnt knock her up he'll be alright. She aint gonna marry him and fuck up the alimony gravy train.

If he can avoid knocking her up for 2-3 more years she's gonna be hitting the wall pretty soon and he'll be hitting his prime

In the meantime you do your part by showing up around him with as many hot young chixes as you can.

That's a win win

[Leonard D Neubache]

Educate the man.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_complex

Snark the fuck out of him. "It'll be great how she'll be able to hang out with your mom and they can talk about their kids." Go for the high five. Leave it hanging forever.

Any arguments from now on to be ended with "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!"

Tell him "you could get a head start on this relationship by having a chat about her with her ex, y'know, like a sort of consultant. He could give you honest advice on stuff like what she likes in bed and what it was that caused her to destroy her child's life by wrecking their home."

Two thumbs up, Borat style.

God forbid the relationship progresses, do the legwork yourself, find the ex and find out just what a toxic whore this woman is.

All the while it will be important to reinforce to your friend that nobody will be happier for him than you when he finds a great gal to get hitched with. Tell him you'd gift him your own sister in that regard, and that any criticism you're sending his way is directed squarely at his dick which has apparently taken control of the situation and is itching to drive his life off the end of the cliff at pussy cove.

[Winston Wolfe]

An important thing to understand is to not try and help people who are not seeking help. It just doesn't work.

What you could do though is this:

Send him a copy of "No More Mister Nice Guy" or another book that's a bit more commercially known and accepted. If he reads it and takes it seriously, chances are he may steer himself into Googling the concepts and he'll find the red pill soon enough.

You can send the copy anonymously. It'll get his male hamster spinning not knowing who sent it to him. Yes it's passive aggressive to do it anonymously, but at least your friendship won't get hurt.

In the end, he has to take the first step of seeking help or self improvement advice first.

[dknightbro]

Tell him to wake up. Sit him down & have a discussion.

If he's really your friend, he'll at least have a discussion with you.

If he does not even entertain the logical points you present to him about his situation, let him burn himself. He was going to with or without your help anyway.

[Latan]

I agree with Winston : can't help people who don't seek help.

You can always send him data, about relationship failures rate of divorced women with kids.
But he'll surely hamster it as "she's different".
Good luck to him, he'll need it.

[Parlay44]

Introduce him to the fine world of cocaine and loose twenty year olds

[Investment Bro]

I'm going to disagree with most of what has been said here because its my belief that mistakes are our biggest teachers, and we can't avoid them or grow until we have made them.

Sit down with your buddy and ask him what he honestly sees in this girl as others have said above. Finance is a demanding industry and takes a lot out of those working in it, so understand that he may be looking for comfort as opposed to the effort of pounding strange left and right.

This woman has a 9 year old, who I'm certain will be a higher priority than your buddy. The relationship likely will not end with a child or the two getting married, considering this woman is drawing alimony. They will break up, and because your buddy will be invested in this relationship he is going to be crushed.

Because you asked him before about his feelings and why he was interested in his now ex, you'll be able to approach him from a place of understanding with a good overall perspective that he lacks. Then you can suggest that he begins learning game. Just make sure he does it in a wholistic way so that he avoids the jaded bitterness that is so common in the manosphere.

Financial advisors are trained to make connections, and once you help him put the pieces together he will begin seeing the pattern, and this event will catalyze him into a better man. You have to hit rock bottom to grow to the top.

Bottom line, be there for your friend, support him, but don't try to push him. Let him come to you, which he will if you are supportive and non-judgemental. He will be much more likely to listen to you.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Based on my personal experience you will encounter 4 kinds of Blue Pill friends:

1) Who accept it fast and learn both Red Pill and Game changing their lives quickly
2) Who accept it quickly but don't do shit with it
3) Who don't accept it initially and who are sometimes very dismissive about it, but then what you say starts dripping in as they remember what you have said to them and they read up on themselves - they become more like the guys from 1) later
4) Who don't accept it and will rather go to the grave Blue Pilled, SJW, leftist etc. - you cannot help them.

So you could talk a bit about it and mention good precepts and examples that explain female nature. Your only hope is that he is a friend of the 3rd category - but let him be and give him time. And don't press the issue because then you are like some vegan chimp who blabbers on about his cruelty-free super-healthy lifestyle. You can be vegan, but don't become a dick about it. Eat your veggies and shut up.

[HankMoody]

Nothing you can do about that.

What I do is just talk about red pill concepts generally, while still giving a "you do you" attitude.

If he's happy, what's it matter?

When he's not happy, he'll probably approach you and be like "dude, what went wrong?"

[Jetset]

Five years older I can respect - even if I'd make another choice - but five years older with a nine-year-old and an alimony check is just madness. I'm lost a few friends this way and I'll never understand it how they get eaten alive by women who aren't even personable.

With that said, you can't really help anybody. Give your friend the credit of assuming that he is an adult man and does whatever the fuark he wants to do, and will crash and burn on his own say-so. If you get involved and he regrets taking your advice, he'll probably just blame you.

When the red flags inevitably start waving and he starts asking questions, apply exactly that same kind of "we're all adults here" logic to her and let him connect his own dots.

"OK, so she says that, but what do her actions tell you?"

"The best way to predict what somebody's going to do is by looking at what they've done in the past."

"She's not a little kid. She's doing whatever she's doing on purpose."

[dosequis]

I've tried this a few times but I eventually realized it's not up to me to save other guys lives and nore is it your mission in life to save your friend's life. You might have been born for several reasons, but I don't think that saving other blue pilled beta guys was one of them.

You should believe in abundance when it comes to friends as well. With time you'll probably see that it becomes harder to relate to guys like that when you're growing more as person, killing it in life and you become more red pill while they just stay the same way.
But what you do then is that you find you new friends.

But that's a dilemma in itself because it's a lot harder to find red pill friends and what you might experience then is that your need for friends actually decrease and you just start focusing on yourself.

[treypound]

Great points everyone. I will catch up with him next weekend and will fill you guys in.

[HankMoody]

(03-31-2018 05:11 PM)treypound Wrote:  

Great points everyone. I will catch up with him next weekend and will fill you guys in.

Good stuff, and good thread. Best of luck.

Sorry about your bro.

[Nordwand]

Unless you can show your friend examples of guys, preferably close to home, who have been well and truly taken to the cleaners in such situations, the likelihood is that he won't wake up until he gets burned himself.