[bk19xsa]

So I am seeing this 35 year old latina milf (33 myself). She is a 6 face and a 7 body. 5'8 (I am 5'7), well maintained figure. Divorcee with 2 young teens. She has been great fun and has a warm personality.Things got heated up between us real fast and among my plates she is the only one who I actually like spending time with. She alternates weekly between her kids(during the morning or afternoon, she still does come to the gym with me while her kids are at school) and the other week, she is mostly with me as her kids are with her ex. After our first few weeks she got close (started saying I love you) but then realized that it was too fast and too my relief backed off. But still when we are together we have a relationship that would be hard for outsiders to distinguished from anything other than a bf-gf one as the understanding and chemistry is as such.

However, I have been realistic and I know I am not going to make her my exclusive gf nor would I ever consider a serious LTR with her. I do not show this obviously.

Another thing I knew before heading into this was that she has done her slutting (she has many eat pray love stories across various countries). So I made myself astute that if she is not around or travelling without me then there is some other dick always.

Now she went to Chicago for a week for a baby shower. I knew there was every possibility she would find some guy. I didnt care because I was already banging other plates throughout the time I have known her. When she was away for the week, I was banging other girls.

So she comes back from Chicago and I can feel the communication is a little off. We set up our gym schedule. Then she texts me later that she wanted to say something else and that there was someone and it might interfere with our routine. I call her up. I act cool and ask her up if it was someone from Chicago. She tells me that she did meet the person at Chicago but she knew the person from her friends social circle since long back. The guy is a Venezuelan lawyer, part of her social group and resides in our city. She said that she wanted to be honest and inform me but she is confused as what to do next (yeah right, you just went for it because opportunity arose). She told me he is 29 and is not trustworthy but she is under pressure from friends and family members to pursue this guy. I am a different ethnicity and far away from the Hispanic culture. I have never interacted with her family and friends except her best friend who I know really likes me and that's about it.

I told her in all fairness when she has been away that I have been with other people too. I also told her that I like spending time with her and that we have some great positive things going on such as gym, plan to summit mountains and travel. So I told her that its onto her to figure it out but my stance is clear that why throw away a good thing between us.We then decided to meet at the gym tomorrow and see where it goes.

So my question to you guys, how should I have handled it differently. I like her . She is mature and not demanding. Fun to be around with unlike the rest of the younger girls I fuck, she is easy going and pleasant. I clearly want to keep her around but at the same time Ill never give her a full LTR, let alone marry her and never be part of her culture.

I know I am letting emotions get the better of me. And it probably is selfish of me that I want her to be around just the way she is and for her not to see anyone else. The thing is I really like her company. Sex is great with her. Activities together are highly enjoyable. The simple reason is I connect with her on a mental level which I have not been able to do so with other girls. When she is with me she showers me with adoration and is also well natured and well behaved among my friends, who also like her.

How should I go about this situation? What should be my next step? Should I text her before seeing her at the gym tomorrow? What should I tell her when we see each other?

I would really appreciate the advice of forum members who have been in similar situations and how they handled such situations to their advantage.

[Rocha]

Severe case of oneitis in there for a single mother caroussel rider.

Given this, I think your best option is too cut all ties.

Also a big detail that is missing is how long you seeing each other.

[bk19xsa]

Rocha, I believe you are right that I might be more attached to her than the other plates I am fucking. But how would cutting ties serve my purpose of an easy booty call and an enjoyable time?

[Montrose]

If you want to keep her, pretend nothing has happened and continue fucking her as usual. Alternative behaviours (such as whining or threatening) are not only foolish but useless: If she likes the guy she will continue seeing him whatever you do. If she doesn’t like him, she will let him go. Don’t mention that you see other girls it’s useless as well and even counterproductive.

However considering your apparent emotional state, I second Rocha’s advice.

[kaotic]

Low value female that you're worried about.

You shouldn't be at all.

She's already soft nexting you by telling you that there's another man.

You have only 2 choices - drop her to the fuck buddy category or drop her all together.

Also, NEVER voluntarily tell a woman that you're banging other people, especially if you aren't even officially together, it's none of her business.

You were trying to rationalize her seeing another guy by saying "Hey I'm banging others too!"

Don't do that.

In my experience with this type of situation - usually the girl will say one thing (that she wants to still hang) but does something else (ghosts you).

In rare cases (depending on how much game you have) you can reel her in as a fuck buddy for a few times before she cuts it off, BUT she'll come back.

I just recently had a girl said she doesn't want to fuck me anymore because she wants a relationship, I told her I don't have the bandwith or time, I told her the door is always open, of course 2 weeks later she texts me that she misses me but I've probably found another girl to fuck.

When you see her, don't be emotional, play it cool, let her do the talking.

She'll probably tell you she's still "confused" and doesn't know what to do, she'll say it a few times, she'll try to rationalize it.

Tell her to not worry about it, tell her that your door is always open, and leave the conversation in a positive light.

Go silent for a day or two - see what she does- if she reaches out to you multiple times or not.


Stop hanging out with this chick unless you're gonna fuck her - she doesn't get the added bonuses of stuff outside the bedroom.

Keep in mind, that pussy isn't yours, it's just your turn.

[bk19xsa]

Montrose, I will do what you have said initially and not bring it up. I will also not bring up that I see other girls (although I already told her this when I spoke with her on the phone).

But what if she does bring the guy up (its an elephant in the room sort of situation) or if she asks me who all were I banging. In that case what should I say and how should I act?

[bk19xsa]

Agree, Kaotic. Ill do what you and Montrose have said.

I am just going to text her tonight confirming gym tomorrow and not show any emotion in my text. Tomorrow when I do meet her, I'll act exactly as how you have told and try keeping her as a fuck buddy.

She will lose the outside the bedroom privileges.

Ah, fuck, have to find another girl to build interesting activities with and enjoy a good time. Fucking whores.

[kaotic]

You can't be angry at a woman swinging to the next dick, especially if you were never going to make her your GF or be anything serious.

Like I said, it was only a matter of time before she moved on.

There's plenty other childless and younger women you can get to know.

She's a 35 year old divorced woman with two teenage kids - you can do way better.

[bk19xsa]

@Kaotic. Yeah, and that is why I never committed to her. The difficulty is finding nice natured, drama free, feminine young women who are cultured and educated.

I am doing my MBA from a top school and though I like to bang as many girls as possible, I also like one or two girls, such as above mentioned, who I can enjoy fun activities with. Some of the undergrads are a good potential for the type of girls I am looking for but my social game probably sucks and I am looked down upon as the lone wolf MBA player (even though I've roped in couple of MBA guys in who have player tendencies into my pack and we all game as well as wing for each other).

The sad part is the undergrads at my university look down upon the MBAs. We are perceived as older, uppity, pretentious, dressed mostly formal and completely diff to undergrads and into sophisticated but boring parties. All of it is true and I fucking hate that aspect of my program. I cant believe that only me and my pack buddies out of the program have the high energy and willingness to game, party like the undergrads and enjoy a good time. The other funny side of the coin is that the rest of the MBA folk look down upon us that we dare flirt with undergrads. The social game gets really hampered here.

Most of the hot undergrads are either in their attention whore phase or already with lots of chums. They like plausible deniability to hangout with an older guy. So to rope them in for activities that are public and social, requires lot of game and overcoming lot of competition. In the end if I do get them its one night stands or cheap quality girls in terms of attitude and education. Nothing much comes off it and I get bored.

Outside the university and from the city, I get mostly low quality girls. Can be hot but usually tattooed bartender, receptionist etc who are looking only for a bang with free drinks or dinner dates.They are good for fuck only plates.

I was recently banging an 8+ Asian American varsity athlete plus Instagram attention whore. Even though she was from an adjacent university, she still wouldn't want to be caught seen hanging out in public with me. Worse lay too. I literally lost interest in banging her because she only saw me for getting the D and mentally would not connect. The whole sex was too mechanical, even though she used to do whatever I told her to do in the bed.

I don't know and am still searching for a way to get the kind of girls I am looking for.

[nordicplayer]

If you can't keep your feelings in check here, walk away today. Women in their 30's, with children are the worst to get serious with. Be ready to walk away at any time for now, and see how things develop.

[treypound]

(03-26-2018 03:31 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

Severe case of oneitis in there for a single mother caroussel rider.

Given this, I think your best option is too cut all ties.

This sums it up. She has a lot of red flags, and you bypassed them because you began to catch feelings. Cut bait.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Ever go to the beach and stand chest deep in the water feeling the waves wash over you, feet still firmly planted in the sand. Then occasionally a really big swell comes in and you get that momentary feeling of weightlessness as you suddenly sense that you're not in total control of the situation any more?

I think the mild adrenalin spike and tingle of sudden weightlessness is universal for a lot of situations in life, and this is one of them. Humans are not made to perpetually fuck the same person without building an emotional attachment. Men can do it for longer, especially when they're emotionally deadened, but eventually everyone pays the piper.

She faked and you flinched. If you can't spin a plate without flinching then you need to cut her out and walk away. You implied it yourself, the sex is almost secondary to the "great time you have with her". If she were a young, low notch count woman without kids I would suggest getting out of the game with her but as pleasant as she is she's not LTR material so if you're growing feels and getting jealous then you should walk away.

Seriously. "I'm getting pressure to pursue this bad, nasty, unreliable man"?



She might as well have just tied herself to a post in front of a fake dragon and screamed "Lancelot, rescue me!"

[Zerdame]

A plate is someone you're prepared to lose, thats why shes just a plate and not a main.

Despite what you're saying, your actions and thoughts have already elevated her beyond a plate. Recognize her for what she is: you enjoy her company and sex. Cool. Now go out there and find a girl YOUNGER, equally good company and better sex.

Mean what you say when you say you don't want to LMR her, I used to make this mistake of developing a minor onenitis for each plate I have until I meet another girl and realize "I didn't actually like Girl A that much." You need to get yourself out there.

[PondScum]

Lots of good perspective here. I'm not having a dig at you, mate, nor am I white knighting. When I read this

"Ah, fuck, have to find another girl to build interesting activities with and enjoy a good time. Fucking whores."

I thought to myself that you would benefit from having a good think about your expectations. Women will never be the way you want or think they should be, and getting pissed at them for being the way they are strikes me as a losers game. It would be one thing if you were married/commited with family, but you clearly want to be in the hookup jungle. This is the nature of the beast, and great peace is found in appreciating it for what it is and casting aside illusions of ideal conduct. The world is not our need gratification machine, at least not after we come off our mother's teat.

Again, I'm not knocking you, we've all had these frustrations. What I'm getting at is "An unexamined life is not worth living", and I hope you gain from examining this corner of your psyche.

Be well.

[bk19xsa]

Before I update, I would like to thank the posters and say this forum always comes through with its wisdom even though I learn it the hard way time to time.

So when I had posted two weeks back, she did come the following day for gym and I followed what was given here to the best. Over the course of last two weeks I did fuck her whenever I could get the right amount of time with her and everything was cool. She was very expressive in her intimacy. She would kiss me like never before and say many times how much she missed me. She herself did bring the other guy into the conversation and informed me again that it is someone from her social group; her friends and family know about the guy. He is Venezuelan.

She invited this guy for Easter but he never showed up and she was pissed. She did mention again that she is attracted to the guy but does not know what to do. The guy had also sent her flowers to her house as an apology for not turning up. I just kept cool during these conversations and told her that if she needed me she can always find me.

That's what exactly she did last night. She was out with a female friend yesterday night, got drunk, lost her female friend and came down to my place. I fucked her in the night. Then I fucked her again in the morning. She was very clingy and expressive . I had an internship interview at noon and she dropped me to the university and went back to my place to rest. I came back and she was sick with a hangover because of the previous night.

She then dropped on me that the Venezuelan guy wanted her to be exclusive. I was in a good mood till then and though this did affect me, I still kept it cool and told her that if she wants to start a relationship with the guy, she can. I then told her to come grab a bite outside as I was feeling hungry. While eating lunch out, she was still feeling tired and sick and then she started saying that she has to meet the guy today evening and therefore has to go home to rest. This got on my nerves a little bit because I still wanted to have some more fun with her, even though she was not in any condition to.

This is where I started losing game. I showed a little displeasure and told her that I would eventually have to replace her with the other girls who were in cue for going out, traveling and other plans me and her had made together. She did feel hurt when I said that.

While she was leaving for home, the conversation become a little more serious and I lost my game completely . I told her that I did see other girls (implied that I had fucked them) while she was with me. She told me to take off my sunglasses and say it again, which I did. She started to cry. I replied back that she had no right to be upset when she herself only told me about the other guy after already being with him.

While she cried, I tried to comfort her, saying that I am always there and she knows where to find me. She kept crying and left as such.

Not only did I lose my game completely but my emotions then took over me as I started feeling bad that she left like that. I lost my frame and I texted to her, saying that I did like her and had formed a good connection with her. I also mentioned in the text that I had felt hurt by what she informed me today and that is why I was bluntly honest with her. I ended by mentioning that my feelings will always be open for her and that she be great.

I know what went wrong here: when I was a put to a very heavy shit test from this woman today, and even though I tried to maintain frame, emotions got the better of me. The moment she had mentioned about the Venezuelan guy and his need for exclusivity, I should have been emotionless and just let her go back home to rest and do whatever the fuck she wants to with the guy. This way, I know she would come running back to me for a booty call whenever the guy would fuck up. The guy is 29 and sent flowers as an apology to a 35 year old woman. So he is definitely even worse at game.

But because of my loss of game as well as frame, I fucked up a good thing most probably permanently.

I guess a person cannot have it two ways; either play the game and do not let much feelings get into it or do not play. I tried to do both and faltered.

I would like to hear your opinions and please correct me if I am wrong in my analysis.

"Women will never be the way you want or think they should be, and getting pissed at them for being the way they are strikes me as a losers game."--I agree with this PondScum. There should be no expected loyalty in the hookup jungle. However, she did not feel clearly the same way when she cried her eyes out upon hearing that I had slept with girls when she had done the same with a guy. Talk about hypocrisy. Human Beings have emotions and they eventually do come out.

[Suits]

I've had a rule ever since I turned 30. I don't have sex with women older than me.

[dosequis]

Sounds like there's a good chance she's not gonna want to see you anymore and go for the other guy but regardless - cut her off now.

All this drama and emotional swings will just have you even more attached to her. Sometimes you like her, sometimes you just want to move on and make her regret not putting more effort into you and soon you won't be thinking about anything else than her. It's common.

Every time I've left a chick at this stage where I'm starting to have that oneitis (or the chick has left me), it has felt very awkward for a few hours on the day of the break-up. But that feeling is becoming weaker and less prominent after every time I've done it. The good thing with that is that it has made me less naive and attached to low-quality girls,

I use more logic and I stop caring about them and they don't drain my energy levels like they used to, and I think the same will happen to you. If you stay you might end up rationalising that she's a great woman and might even consider knocking her up with another kid, but if you leave her you'll feel annoyed for about a day and will become a better person and player from it.

I guess the bad thing with it is that I also think it's becoming harder to bond and form a deeper connection when you're banging a chick, starting to get a bit attached, and then suddenly she's kicked out from your life.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Well, you're on a good path to keeping your emotions in check (Rome wasn't built in a day) but that's a double edged sword down the line. It can destroy your ability to create a normal and frankly preferable connection with a valuable woman you can marry and sire sons with.

Always zoom out. Never lose sight of the bigger picture.

There have been a few times that I've routinely fucked a girl without committed status while she floated around the edge of getting off the one-cock carousel (maybe I'm kidding myself on that last bit, who knows). These chicks knew I wasn't reliable, or more to the point they knew I wouldn't reliably be their man-bitch. In the beginning I played along with typical feminist script about how it was their choice and they had to choose what they wanted from life and I would always "be there for them", whatever the fuck that means.

But I was only ever comfortable in these pseudo relationships when I was willing to risk losing them by being honest with the chick and with myself in a no-hard-feelings kind of way. Always in the back of your mind you have to remember "this is the kind of slut that ten years ago was fucking other dudes while I was dating her assuming we were exclusive". Always you have to remember "there are loyal women in this world but this bitch isn't one of them."

Right now you're part of a conspiracy to THOT. How do you think Mr Venezuela would feel knowing she's talking about her future relationship with him when she's still got the aftertaste of your dick in her mouth?

Not that I'm suggesting you should give a shit about Mr Venezuela. He most certainly would not give a shit about you if the circumstances were reversed. You just need to keep your head on straight that this woman is a straight up slut. You can be ok with that, and possibly she can even be ok with you being ok with that, but until you reach that kind of perverse enlightenment then you two are going to be stuck playing stupid mind games right up until she sabotages your birth control.

Maybe the jig is up for this tryst but in all likelihood she'll be back before long. You've obviously got something she likes and she's obviously got no morals whatsoever so she'll be back on your dick long before she's told Mr Venezuela that it's over.

Just try not to forget what she is. Don't rub her face in it but don't pretend otherwise either.

[Rocha]

A slut. No more no less.

So much talk about a slut. It is actually cringeworthy. Sluts where made to be fucked.

[blck]

You might think she is your plate but things look like you're her plate...and, to add to this, you caught feelings for her...

[Bienvenuto]

Its an interesting conversation that people are having.

I don't necessarily agree or disagree with it all but I DO agree its all about your big picture.

2 things.

1. -If you have any kind of good future ahead of you- then sooner or later an older divorcee with two kids will always be a future 'next!' for you-.. Just a question of when.


2. ">She said that she wanted to be honest and inform me but she is confused as what to do next< (yeah right, you just went for it because opportunity arose)."

">She told me he is 29 and is not trustworthy but she is under pressure from friends and family members to pursue this guy.<"

This was your proof positive that any relationship you had with her had gone from (on balance) worth continuing -to- absolutely straying into weirdness and depriving you of the opportunities to experience new and much, much better things.

Sounds like you've made some good memories to take away. Good luck pal.

Update before posting: just read your last post in detail.

This is an upside down, damaging world that you two are creating for each other: co-dependency 101.

The best advice anyone could give you is "Get out and don't look back."

[arsenal2000]

Hi bk19xsa


I feel that you may have a lack of understanding of latin woman. So wanted to clarify the below

Quote:

So when I had posted two weeks back, she did come the following day for gym and I followed what was given here to the best. Over the course of last two weeks I did fuck her whenever I could get the right amount of time with her and everything was cool. She was very expressive in her intimacy. She would kiss me like never before and say many times how much she missed me.

She was feeling guilty and was making up for it . It is like men buying presents when they feel guilty.

Quote:

She herself did bring the other guy into the conversation and informed me again that it is someone from her social group; her friends and family know about the guy. He is Venezuelan.

Just disclosing to make her feel better and nothing else.

Quote:

She invited this guy for Easter but he never showed up and she was pissed. She did mention again that she is attracted to the guy but does not know what to do. The guy had also sent her flowers to her house as an apology for not turning up.

He has or found another girl and did not bother showing up. He wants to keep her in his rotation and sent her flowers.

Quote:

She was out with a female friend yesterday night, got drunk, lost her female friend and came down to my place. I fucked her in the night. Then I fucked her again in the morning. She was very clingy and expressive .

The other guy did not bother to meet her again. You are her back up.

Quote:

She then dropped on me that the Venezuelan guy wanted her to be exclusive.

No if he wanted he would have meet her for easter. She is the one after him and not the other way around. Do not believe word to word what a woman says to you.

Quote:

While eating lunch out, she was still feeling tired and sick and then she started saying that she has to meet the guy today evening and therefore has to go home to rest.

She values him high and that is all she cares about and not about your feeling. He probably mentioned that as he could not turn up the other night that he can meet her today.

Quote:

This got on my nerves a little bit because I still wanted to have some more fun with her, even though she was not in any condition to.

Why would you be wanting to do this. It will lower your value even further. She knows she just needs to offer sex to make you come back. Look for someother girl that can offer this without all this drama.

Quote:

While she cried, I tried to comfort her, saying that I am always there and she knows where to find me. She kept crying and left as such.

Latin woman are dramatic in general and especially more if they know if this works on the guy.

Quote:

This way, I know she would come running back to me for a booty call whenever the guy would fuck up. The guy is 29 and sent flowers as an apology to a 35 year old woman. So he is definitely even worse at game.

Totally wrong . In general Venezuelan guys start interacting with woman from a very young age. most of the guys are natural when it comes to gaming woman. He wants to keep her in rotation and does what is needed including buying flowers. In this case you are the one that is not understanding the game being played.

Quote:

But because of my loss of game as well as frame, I fucked up a good thing most probably permanently.

You are too emotional to handle this girl. She may contact you in a few weeks as she probably wants to keep you as a backup in case her other options fade out. Will probably cry and offer sex to get things back to normal. She knows how to get you back.

[treypound]

(04-06-2018 09:59 PM)dosequis Wrote:  

Sounds like there's a good chance she's not gonna want to see you anymore and go for the other guy but regardless - cut her off now.

All this drama and emotional swings will just have you even more attached to her. Sometimes you like her, sometimes you just want to move on and make her regret not putting more effort into you and soon you won't be thinking about anything else than her. It's common.

Every time I've left a chick at this stage where I'm starting to have that oneitis (or the chick has left me), it has felt very awkward for a few hours on the day of the break-up. But that feeling is becoming weaker and less prominent after every time I've done it. The good thing with that is that it has made me less naive and attached to low-quality girls,

I use more logic and I stop caring about them and they don't drain my energy levels like they used to, and I think the same will happen to you. If you stay you might end up rationalising that she's a great woman and might even consider knocking her up with another kid, but if you leave her you'll feel annoyed for about a day and will become a better person and player from it.

I guess the bad thing with it is that I also think it's becoming harder to bond and form a deeper connection when you're banging a chick, starting to get a bit attached, and then suddenly she's kicked out from your life.

Agree with this. She is 35 and playing you. She gives you what she knows you want (sex), but then toys with your emotions because she knows you are hooked. There are eight months left in 2018. It will be tough at first, but you will thank us later this year, once you get out there, and find someone who is of higher value.

[EndsExpect]

(04-06-2018 09:01 PM)bk19xsa Wrote:  

IThis way, I know she would come running back to me for a booty call whenever the guy would fuck up. The guy is 29 and sent flowers as an apology to a 35 year old woman. So he is definitely even worse at game.

But because of my loss of game as well as frame, I fucked up a good thing most probably permanently.

She is either with you because she is hoping for a relationship, or she is with you because she enjoys the sex.

If it is relationship keeping her around, then you screwed the pooch. She may come back and she may bounce.

If she is with you for the sex, then she will keep coming back until she locks down another guy.