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How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?
#1

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

I'm sort of confused over the level of control you're supposed to exhibit over a girl you're in a relationship with. I've seen a lot of conflicting advice on here about how how you're supposed to behave towards a girl, and how to keep her in line and how to discipline her.
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#2

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Shouldn't she be possessive over you and get jealous of girls looking at you?


You yourself should be confident, dominant, and lead the relationship.

By being a solid man and leading - she'll follow you and step in line.


As far as disciplining her it all depends on the offense, you'll have to adjust accordingly.

Something minor could be turned into a good old' fashioned spanking and fucking.

Something moderate could be a radio silent treatment for a day or 2 and then act like nothing happened.

Something extreme could be the end of the relationship or a "break" where she begs for you back and you dictate the terms.


I prefer none of these offenses - because you should be filtering women that are right for you in the beginning.

A woman should complement your life, not make it harder.
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#3

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

I don't know but I have seen examples where possessive and jealous guys have their girls very attracted to them, despite displaying beta behaviors such as jealousy.
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#4

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

I don't have the emotional energy for jealousy.

If she's going to fuck another guy, it is what it is, and we'll both move on with our lives. My heart will go on.

Usually she's the one getting jealous of me and my casual attitude towards dating. "Are you seeing someone else? Why don't you return my texts in like 5 seconds? What were you doing on Friday night? Who is that girl that friended you on Facebook?" Slow your roll, kiddo.
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#5

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

Quote: (03-10-2018 07:28 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

I don't have the emotional energy for jealousy.

Agreed HM, I am too old for that shit.

My wife used to get furious about my lack of jealousy. I knew it was all a shit test. If you get jealous it gives her power over your emotions, she know's it, will exploit it like the weakness it is, use you and then toss you.

"Women however should get a spanking at least once a week by their husbands and boyfriends - that should be mandated by law" - Zelcorpion
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#6

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

I disagree with previous posters, I think you should be very possessive.
It might be cultural thing as posters who advise to be non possessive are from North America, but here in EE girls loooove possessive asshole game.The trick is to be non needy while doing it.
I think it works so well because it taps into feminine fantasy of being dominated.

Below are great post from XXL where he explains it.

Quote: (12-02-2017 10:40 AM)XXL Wrote:  

Seems like those girls who dumped you did not feel that you were actually together. Meaning you were distant to them.

You probably treated them like long term fuck buddies.

Example.. she did some dumb shit that meant to imply there is some other guy on her radar and you ignored it completely as if she was same night lay bitch ready to be released to the wild the next day. That ignorance showed her that you didn't give a flying fuck if she cheats or not.

I know that to you it's OK to brush it off and you are right cause you are guy. However she felt like an object. A pencil at best. She thought.. he doesn't caaaare. This is how you get a girl (playing prize) not how to keep her.

To keep her it's best to be possessive selfish asshole who wants to OWN her on every level. Straight up. It is kind of stupid but the love it.

Examples..

Dance classes. I tried it with my girl. During classes we suppose to change partners to practise with different people. I didnt want to. I told her she's dancing with me only I'm not sharing her point blank period. She was sooooo impressed and excited.

Sex. Best orgasms I've seen were where I went full nuts and vocal about owning her.. how she's mine how I own her how she cannot do shit without my approval how only I can touch her how useless she is without me how I will punish her if she messes up etc. Total possession mode. She was in heaven.

Decision making. I told her I want her to consult with me on every decision she makes. Out of care of course. Now she cannot dress up without asking me if I like what she picked or even asking me what I want her to wear.

In short I made her MINE. She is not a girl she is mine girl. That's how she feels I'm emotionally connected. Basically she is dominated under my conytol and fucking loves it. I'm also good for her I solve her problems and try to gelp her even with dumb shit she comes up with or cannot handle.

That's what I would recommend to you.
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#7

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

Possessive in a way that will increase her attraction to you = some numbnuts is talking to her at a social event, you roll up, put your arm around her, smile politely at him then turn her to you, she smiles and kisses you, you twist her to face away from him, then walk away

Possessive in a way that will wreck your mental health and decrease her attraction = "where were you for the last 3 seconds when I didn't have my eyes on you?... why did you talk to a male today even though it is part of your job?... no you can't leave the house without me!"
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#8

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

I think we should expand on TFAP’s post.

We should be digging into the meaning of the “possessive” word and its usage. We tend to think that means getting angry when she talks to another male or trying to dictate how she spends her time.

A way to reframe this is thinking of it this way:

You hold her tight, put your hands on the sides of her head, look deeply into her eyes, and whisper in a low manly voice, “you are mine.”

That’s possessive in a good way, but not in the way people usually think.
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#9

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

^^2FAP shoots and scores.

The public will judge a man by what he lifts, but those close to him will judge him by what he carries.
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#10

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

[Image: d0fcb0bff5d04f5c53a58e9988d858e2.jpg]

I'm the King of Beijing!
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#11

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

Maybe its cultural thing. I know that in US the move is to ignore and show indifference.

It depends on the type of relationship of course. In proper LTR I show I'm possesive in a way that tells my girl that she is MY girl. Nothing wrong with marking YOUR territory. My girl is exactly there, in my territory. If she does something stupid she will hear about or feels it somehow. Same applies guys stepping into my territory. This is done mostly when situation calls for it (not regularly as a trick) and at random times just to remind her who she belongs to. From my experience they love it.

Where I'm from girls actually dig that right kind of possesiveness. It's absolutely proper behavior. It's expected from men to protect his assets (so to speak). All it takes is confidently call her out on something as if your boundaries were crossed. Any bitching or complaining or passive aggresiveness will not work.

Girls like to check if the guy for real or not (shittests) so if you face that just stand by yoir words no matter what. If you flinch you will lose.
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#12

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

I have had 4 relationships.
Some of them 6months+, some of them just few weeks due to bad due diligence in the beginning and not screening her enough.

I would say that just because you "own" something, doesn't mean you are attached to it.
You can "own" something without being attached, meaning you won't be fazed if you lose it.
On the other hand, just because you are attached to something, doesn't mean you "own" it.

As paradoxical as it sounds, my philosophy is that, if you give decent of a fuck if you lost a girl, you probably didn't deserve her in the first place.
Similar to the philosophy of Fight Club, "It's only after we've lost everything that we are free to do anything."

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."
- Heat

"That's the difference between you and me. You wanna lose small, I wanna win big."
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#13

How possessive should you be over a girlfriend?

Quote: (03-15-2018 04:58 AM)XXL Wrote:  

Maybe its cultural thing. I know that in US the move is to ignore and show indifference.

The U.S. also has a 50% divorce rate. I'd take what most guys that grew up in a culture with a 50% divorce rate say about how to treat a girlfriend/wife interacting with other men with a grain of salt.

On this matter, I'd listen to advice from guys who grew up in cultures with low divorce rates and around women with low notch counts.

Possession is nine-tenths of the law.

If you don't have an active claim that's clear to all others, don't be surprised if you find multiple squatters staking their own claims.
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