What follows might not sound that bad but trust me, it is an absolute pain in the arse.
Moved to Vietnam to teach English.
Not because I want to teach English so much as the money but especially the time available to me here.
I need to do a lot of physiotherapy work, thats why I'm here.
Never taught English before and just passed a month long qualification for it.
The mantra on my course was get a job in the provinces for a few months to cut your teeth and build your cv.
I was thinking gym and pool and Im happy.
Got a job in a big isolated town with cash incentives but almost no-one wants to work here because the deposits on rental contracts are so high.
Takes a good six months to pay that off and after that start earning serious cash. Only a few expats/ teachers here.
Arrived at the same time as another hire, thought this guy's a bit dumb but he seems okay, the choice was pay $1500 dollars (which I couldn’t afford) up front for my own place or $600 dollars to get a shared flat that was available with him.
No other choices.
We got a shoebox flat in the same complex as my office.
Its got a cafe in the building and a big pool and a state of the art gym. Awesome.
Been sharing for 2 months now and its gotten beyond a joke.
The guy is a pretty tough nugget, boxed semi-professionally on TV, big into Jujitsu, the same perspective on women and life as most high T men, got his own goals in the gym. No problems there.
But this is the thing, this is thing..
He hasn’t made any friends here since we both arrived, he doesn’t hang out with anyone else.
He’s got a hearing problem which means that he struggles in conversations and often walks away while people are talking to him.
His conversation is woeful, combination of lack of hearing, no social skills, total lack of self awareness, its like pulling teeth when other people are trying to have a conversation with him.
Work actually sent him for a hearing test which he came back from claiming that he’d passed - all the while he doesn’t listen to a fucking thing anyone says to him, just talks at them and over them.
Let slip when he was shitting himself before the test that he’s failed two work hearing tests back in the Uk.
He doesn’t hang out with anyone else here.
He just hangs out in the flat telling me what a big cheese he is and all the macho, wonderful things he did that day, anything that’s on his mind, anything thats pissed him off, and it turns out that day to day there are loads of terrible slights to his ego that he has to unload to me about.
he doesn’t listen to a fucking thing I say in return.
when I say to him ‘why don’t you come out tonight? Why don’t you join us tomorrow?’ Try and spread his neurotic load around amongst some other people..
No, no, no.. he’s a loner, he doesn’t need people, he’s all about his goals.
He did come out for a work thing, he just orbited me all night, didn’t talk to anyone else, we were all waiting for a taxi outside and he goes off in my ear about his jobs as a bouncer in the Uk, ‘I fucked up a guy outside a club like this’ (grabs my arm) I head butted a guy here (pokes my face).
I stayed calm and told him to let go of me.
took the taxi to a karaoke bar he just retreated into the corner all night, didn’t talk to anyone.
we’ve fallen out about a few things in the flat, he uses utter fucking bullshit to justify why he should get his way and starts yelling at me if I put my point across,
I had to wait a long time to get him to talk about that and acknowledge that yelling at people isn’t a way to have a discussion.
He ended up by yelling at me “you’re not my Dad! You’re not my Dad!” (we’re about the same age).
He’s constantly telling me about his fucked up abandoned childhood when all Im trying to do is get away and get on with my day to day life.
Tried hinting at him that I was sick of people telling me what to do and taking up all my time.
He nodded, said ‘what are you doing now?’
I said gonna have a shower and go hit the gym.
'No, no, don’t have a shower!’
Well.. I’m going to have a shower..
“No, no, you shouldn’t!”
Told him I was moving into a hotel for a few days cos I wasn’t getting anything done.
“Wha-.. why?”
Well, anyway thats what I’m doing..
He insisted on coming with me to the hotel in the taxi. ??
During my three days in the hotel he saw me in a restaurant having lunch, came in, ordered and sat down with me.. I was friendly, finished my lunch and left after 15 minutes.
He said ‘no no, we both wait until we’ve both finished and we can go both to that place together..’
Sorry pal I cant wait.
At work he just orbits me at lunch, (we wait to get everybody together to go to lunch), he’s trying to catch my eye every twenty seconds, coming over, in my ear, ‘what are we doing? Are you going to get those people to come to lunch with us? Are we ready to go yet?’
Gee, I don’t know - they’re your coworkers as well why don’t YOU ask them? Today Ive been avoiding him, he knocked on my bedroom door this morning and started giving me a blow by blow diary of his morning.
I said mate Im doing my work right now.
He’s like ‘no how can you listen to a podcast and do your work?’
Its just background noise for me ‘
'no youre not really working if you have that on.. so let me tell you about my day”
Nope, Im working.
He stomps off and slams some doors.
When I finished that an hour later I got my kit together and (just like fucking escape from Alcatraz) made a break out the flat door to the lift bank.
Turn round he was behind me.
He tells me all about how he knows that Im stressed because of these work issues I have . I say no, Im in a hurry but its got nothing to do with work. “Yes it has.”
No Im just late for a pt session.
On the way down in the lift he’s asking what pt I’m doing. Then its “Okay great! I’ll come and do that with you..’
You can’t
“yes I can”
No you’re not a member of my gym. “oh..” he’s still talking at me as I go into the gym. Tonight I come in and he’s all over me wanting to tell me about his life and I said look mate Im tired and going to bed (it was 7pm). He wasn’t happy about that.
This is the thing.
The only reason why I am out here is to fix my injuries earn some money and take care of my goals.
He’s so fucking omnipresent and demanding on my time that outside of work I am getting jack shit done atm.
Jack shit. Slight exaggeration but thats how it feels.
We live and work in the same building and he is constantly taking up my time.. Its hard to escape him.
Four months left of this flat contract or I risk losing $500 of my deposit and financially I’m living on fumes at the moment.
He’s a violent guy, maybe he can take me, maybe I could take him, who knows .. maybe we could both hospitalise each other or both get arrested.
Im just phuqed off. And my issue is .. for someone who is always bending my ear about how he doesn’t need anyone, he’s totally self sufficient, “don’t mess with me.. I’m Mr High T.. pursuing my solo missions” ———- he is the neediest motherphuqer that I have ever met.
Which is probably why he currently has no discernible friends and no women in his life.
And based on previous events up until now, somewhere he KNOWS that he’s carrying on like a toddler, like a stage five clinger in a jacked, scarred body
- and at the same time he’s made it clear again and again that if people start telling him things that he .. doesn’t want to hear or that… he doesn’t particularly like..
then he will go off the deep end and start acting like a twat.
Its a game of chicken.
Work is ten or so low T soy boys, in back-packs and blue stripy office shirts and all blue pilled up.
They can see that there are issues with the guy but .. anything for a quiet life.
We have a couple of low-maintenance alchoholics in our ranks. Provided they don’t rock the boat they’re left alone by the others.
Those others just shake their heads when they tell stories about him, then make up for it by agreeing with each other that he, somehow, has a “heart of gold though..”
Then they just smile and wave at me, make jokes like “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.. I wouldn’t want to piss off ‘X’ ! “
The flat share was arranged through work so that if I default on it that it will involve work and I don’t want to have a whole ‘he said, she said ‘ black mark against my work record.
but.. at the same time.. this qunts stomping round like a bunny-boiling chimpanzee - all about himself, all through my day-
and using ‘I’m an unhinged child’- ‘dread game’ to get his way.
LTDR: My flat mate has turned into a stage five stalker and getting out of the flat share isn’t looking an easy situation.
Advice, thoughts, opinions welcome..
Moved to Vietnam to teach English.
Not because I want to teach English so much as the money but especially the time available to me here.
I need to do a lot of physiotherapy work, thats why I'm here.
Never taught English before and just passed a month long qualification for it.
The mantra on my course was get a job in the provinces for a few months to cut your teeth and build your cv.
I was thinking gym and pool and Im happy.
Got a job in a big isolated town with cash incentives but almost no-one wants to work here because the deposits on rental contracts are so high.
Takes a good six months to pay that off and after that start earning serious cash. Only a few expats/ teachers here.
Arrived at the same time as another hire, thought this guy's a bit dumb but he seems okay, the choice was pay $1500 dollars (which I couldn’t afford) up front for my own place or $600 dollars to get a shared flat that was available with him.
No other choices.
We got a shoebox flat in the same complex as my office.
Its got a cafe in the building and a big pool and a state of the art gym. Awesome.
Been sharing for 2 months now and its gotten beyond a joke.
The guy is a pretty tough nugget, boxed semi-professionally on TV, big into Jujitsu, the same perspective on women and life as most high T men, got his own goals in the gym. No problems there.
But this is the thing, this is thing..
He hasn’t made any friends here since we both arrived, he doesn’t hang out with anyone else.
He’s got a hearing problem which means that he struggles in conversations and often walks away while people are talking to him.
His conversation is woeful, combination of lack of hearing, no social skills, total lack of self awareness, its like pulling teeth when other people are trying to have a conversation with him.
Work actually sent him for a hearing test which he came back from claiming that he’d passed - all the while he doesn’t listen to a fucking thing anyone says to him, just talks at them and over them.
Let slip when he was shitting himself before the test that he’s failed two work hearing tests back in the Uk.
He doesn’t hang out with anyone else here.
He just hangs out in the flat telling me what a big cheese he is and all the macho, wonderful things he did that day, anything that’s on his mind, anything thats pissed him off, and it turns out that day to day there are loads of terrible slights to his ego that he has to unload to me about.
he doesn’t listen to a fucking thing I say in return.
when I say to him ‘why don’t you come out tonight? Why don’t you join us tomorrow?’ Try and spread his neurotic load around amongst some other people..
No, no, no.. he’s a loner, he doesn’t need people, he’s all about his goals.
He did come out for a work thing, he just orbited me all night, didn’t talk to anyone else, we were all waiting for a taxi outside and he goes off in my ear about his jobs as a bouncer in the Uk, ‘I fucked up a guy outside a club like this’ (grabs my arm) I head butted a guy here (pokes my face).
I stayed calm and told him to let go of me.
took the taxi to a karaoke bar he just retreated into the corner all night, didn’t talk to anyone.
we’ve fallen out about a few things in the flat, he uses utter fucking bullshit to justify why he should get his way and starts yelling at me if I put my point across,
I had to wait a long time to get him to talk about that and acknowledge that yelling at people isn’t a way to have a discussion.
He ended up by yelling at me “you’re not my Dad! You’re not my Dad!” (we’re about the same age).
He’s constantly telling me about his fucked up abandoned childhood when all Im trying to do is get away and get on with my day to day life.
Tried hinting at him that I was sick of people telling me what to do and taking up all my time.
He nodded, said ‘what are you doing now?’
I said gonna have a shower and go hit the gym.
'No, no, don’t have a shower!’
Well.. I’m going to have a shower..
“No, no, you shouldn’t!”
Told him I was moving into a hotel for a few days cos I wasn’t getting anything done.
“Wha-.. why?”
Well, anyway thats what I’m doing..
He insisted on coming with me to the hotel in the taxi. ??
During my three days in the hotel he saw me in a restaurant having lunch, came in, ordered and sat down with me.. I was friendly, finished my lunch and left after 15 minutes.
He said ‘no no, we both wait until we’ve both finished and we can go both to that place together..’
Sorry pal I cant wait.
At work he just orbits me at lunch, (we wait to get everybody together to go to lunch), he’s trying to catch my eye every twenty seconds, coming over, in my ear, ‘what are we doing? Are you going to get those people to come to lunch with us? Are we ready to go yet?’
Gee, I don’t know - they’re your coworkers as well why don’t YOU ask them? Today Ive been avoiding him, he knocked on my bedroom door this morning and started giving me a blow by blow diary of his morning.
I said mate Im doing my work right now.
He’s like ‘no how can you listen to a podcast and do your work?’
Its just background noise for me ‘
'no youre not really working if you have that on.. so let me tell you about my day”
Nope, Im working.
He stomps off and slams some doors.
When I finished that an hour later I got my kit together and (just like fucking escape from Alcatraz) made a break out the flat door to the lift bank.
Turn round he was behind me.
He tells me all about how he knows that Im stressed because of these work issues I have . I say no, Im in a hurry but its got nothing to do with work. “Yes it has.”
No Im just late for a pt session.
On the way down in the lift he’s asking what pt I’m doing. Then its “Okay great! I’ll come and do that with you..’
You can’t
“yes I can”
No you’re not a member of my gym. “oh..” he’s still talking at me as I go into the gym. Tonight I come in and he’s all over me wanting to tell me about his life and I said look mate Im tired and going to bed (it was 7pm). He wasn’t happy about that.
This is the thing.
The only reason why I am out here is to fix my injuries earn some money and take care of my goals.
He’s so fucking omnipresent and demanding on my time that outside of work I am getting jack shit done atm.
Jack shit. Slight exaggeration but thats how it feels.
We live and work in the same building and he is constantly taking up my time.. Its hard to escape him.
Four months left of this flat contract or I risk losing $500 of my deposit and financially I’m living on fumes at the moment.
He’s a violent guy, maybe he can take me, maybe I could take him, who knows .. maybe we could both hospitalise each other or both get arrested.
Im just phuqed off. And my issue is .. for someone who is always bending my ear about how he doesn’t need anyone, he’s totally self sufficient, “don’t mess with me.. I’m Mr High T.. pursuing my solo missions” ———- he is the neediest motherphuqer that I have ever met.
Which is probably why he currently has no discernible friends and no women in his life.
And based on previous events up until now, somewhere he KNOWS that he’s carrying on like a toddler, like a stage five clinger in a jacked, scarred body
- and at the same time he’s made it clear again and again that if people start telling him things that he .. doesn’t want to hear or that… he doesn’t particularly like..
then he will go off the deep end and start acting like a twat.
Its a game of chicken.
Work is ten or so low T soy boys, in back-packs and blue stripy office shirts and all blue pilled up.
They can see that there are issues with the guy but .. anything for a quiet life.
We have a couple of low-maintenance alchoholics in our ranks. Provided they don’t rock the boat they’re left alone by the others.
Those others just shake their heads when they tell stories about him, then make up for it by agreeing with each other that he, somehow, has a “heart of gold though..”
Then they just smile and wave at me, make jokes like “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.. I wouldn’t want to piss off ‘X’ ! “
The flat share was arranged through work so that if I default on it that it will involve work and I don’t want to have a whole ‘he said, she said ‘ black mark against my work record.
but.. at the same time.. this qunts stomping round like a bunny-boiling chimpanzee - all about himself, all through my day-
and using ‘I’m an unhinged child’- ‘dread game’ to get his way.
LTDR: My flat mate has turned into a stage five stalker and getting out of the flat share isn’t looking an easy situation.
Advice, thoughts, opinions welcome..