[firat113]

So i have been texting this girl, and we decided to go out on a date. It was great, we vibed, had a great time, and kissed. After that day she's been showing strong interest, acting like we're already "in a relationship" (red flag), saying things like "i really like you, but im confused about you. I am afraid you're like other guys, you just want to sleep with me then dump me". Now i don't think she's a hoe, i think it's a legit concern she has since most guys do this anyway. And she's only ever been with one guy, her ex boyfriend. She mentioned him shortly as a douchebag that threated her badly, and was abusive, and hit her before she broke up with him (either red flag or legit story). She asked me if the kiss meant something for me, or it's just a game for me. I said it's not a game, and she got back to her happy self, chasing me more than i chase her.

Now she's been asking for another date, and want to come over to chill with me. We have been texting alot, on snapchat, and she called me once to talk. I'm confused because... when she isn't acting weird she's LTR material, but she makes a big deal out of small things (red flag), for example. She called me to talk and we had a good 5 min conversation, before she said "why do you open my snap and don't reply for like 5-10 minutes". I said as a joke "lol just 5 minutes, don't tell me you're one of those crazy overly attached girls that freak out when guys don't instantly answer and give them attention". She hung up and got angry.

I asked, what's wrong? She said "why are you saying im annoying and overly attached?" I said, it's a joke, i dont blame you, we've only met once, but you don't understand my humour. She went cold, sent a message saying "Okay." and i figured, i can't deal with this shit right now, i went to the gym to train and ignored her message. 20 minutes later she probably expected me to write back and apologize(?) but i didn't text back. She messaged me a crazy message saying "Okay...you're gonna ignore me? Have fun." (red flag) and i didn't give a fuck anyway, i was minding my own training and i thought this is getting a little too crazy for me, so i didn't bother to answer. Now, my question is, this girl is so sweet and we're vibing so well when she's not showing these annoying red flags. I mean, we're not even in a relationship and she's acting like this, imagine if we're in one how it would look like. We haven't even had sex yet, she can't be that attached already.

My question is, can you revert and change a red flagged girl by using game techniques, or are they simply too crazy to even bother with? I really like her, she's unlike many girls i have met and she's beautiful. In real life when we meet she's a different person than on text. I thought of this because i usually ignore girls when they do their stupid drama events, when i can't be arsed, or i tell them straight up i can't deal with this kind of thing and they 80% of the time apologize and get back to normal. Can i put her under control and make her do as i please, tell her exactly what shit i dont put up with in a relationship or should i just leave her be. Is it worth banging her or will she get crazier after that? Currently i haven't texted her back, im waiting for her to either apologize, or i set things straight and tell her i don't deal with this kind of girl bullshit. What would you do in this situation?

[FireStarter]

No

You can't change other people. Not for long anyway, most you can do is get them to change certain behaviors for short periods of time. It doesn't matter what you do, a high drama girl is always going to revert back to a high drama girl.

It is possible to help someone change for the better but they need to want it and put the work in themselves. One of our great forum members said it best in this podcast:

[Montrose]

You certainly can’t change people but it may be a bit premature to draw definitive conclusions from the little interaction you’ve had with her, particularly because she’s inexperienced. Some women think they must act in a certain way because they’ve seen it in movies. If you are firm in the first few weeks of the relationship she might connect with her submissive nature (particularly after you bang her). I’ve seen it happen.

[Montrose]

Another option (which I know is not popular around here, but very worth exploring in my view) is to play along with her shit until you fuck her. Then you are in a much better position to negotiate (because you care less) and worst case you have fucked a very nice girl at little cost.

[H1N1]

I dated a girl like this for a while. The highs were good, but there was always a provocative/micro drama question to be answered. Always a, 'Why'd you say that', or 'What do you mean by that'. If these come thick and fast, it can be hard to maintain any kind of healthy relationship because you're always managing a drama, however small, or walking on egg shells, and answering to her. It's a very unhealthy dynamic, and it gets very wearing. It does seem particularly prevalent in girls you'd like to tell yourself are worth the effort, because the highs can be very good. At their best, they can be great. The trouble is, at their normal level they are going to drain you, one drop of blood at a time. Personally I would recommend leaving girls like this well alone, because they can do a lot of damage invidiously, and you don't necessarily see it coming until you're already mired in it. This is doubly true if they are also beautiful.

Potentially worth fucking, but one to make a conscious choice of not becoming emotionally invested in. But then again, one might apply that statement rather more broadly.

[Ringo]

^ 100% agree with H1N1. I broke up with a girl I really liked last November - the constant worry not to upset her was exhausting. It sucks but whatever.

OP, if you are considering moving forward with this relationship, read this brilliant insight by PapayaTapper:

(08-24-2015 02:14 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(08-20-2015 06:03 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

(08-20-2015 02:12 PM)MikeInRealLife Wrote:  

If there's a major downside to the married "lifestyle," it's that you pretty much have to keep them entertained constantly.

This is the axe murderer in the room that never sleeps.

I am afraid.

Amen

One quality I think is essential for any girl to have as a LTR candidate is what I call "the happy gene". Is her natural equilibrium an upbeat / happy /laughs easily kind of demeanor ? Or is she prone to states of moroseness/crabbiness or acerbity that needs to be actively entertained/stimulated into being "happy"?

Before I knew better I exhausted a lot of time, money and energy on "sourpussy" because they were hot. I spent 5 years and I dont know how much money on one because she was smoking (tall blond bikini/ lingerie model) before I had enough and pulled the plug

If a girl doesn't have that "happy gene"...she's not long for my world anymore. If there was only piece of advice I could give a guy thinking about wifeing up,,,make sure she has that quality

[PapayaTapper]

(03-05-2018 06:57 AM)Montrose Wrote:  

Another option (which I know is not popular around here, but very worth exploring in my view) is to play along with her shit until you fuck her. Then you are in a much better position to negotiate (because you care less) and worst case you have fucked a very nice girl at little cost.

Actually this is the route Id take. Bang her then lay down your law.

Im not opposed to taking a closer look to determine her true nature..if Im getting sex in exchange for my time

Quote:

I thought of this because i usually ignore girls when they do their stupid drama events, when i can't be arsed, or i tell them straight up i can't deal with this kind of thing and they 80% of the time apologize and get back to normal. Can i put her under control and make her do as i please, tell her exactly what shit i dont put up with in a relationship or should i just leave her be. Is it worth banging her or will she get crazier after that? Currently i haven't texted her back, im waiting for her to either apologize, or i set things straight and tell her i don't deal with this kind of girl bullshit. What would you do in this situation?

Whats her relationship with her father? If "bad", non existent, or he's weak...that's where you have to start the "work"

If she's only had one boyfriend who couldn't control a woman (or his own emotions) without hitting her then she's may be good raw material.

An excellent block of marble is a block of marble. But what potentially emerges is up to the sculptor

Of course you may quickly determine the material is flawed beyond salvage-ability and discard

Edit: After re reading OP

She is displaying classic signs of insecurity. She is clearly uncomfortable NOT being in a relationship and testing to guage your intentions (consciously) and worthiness (unconsciously).

If you approach this with the mindset that you are giving her the benefit of the doubt but are absolutely willing to drop her if need be after an evaluation period she will sense this and is more likely to comply.

As H1N1 said the danger in this situation is that the shit tests accumulate over time and without you being aware youre "letting things slide" until you reach the breaking point.

Approach her as a "probationary trainee"

[firat113]

H1N1 great detailed answer, this makes me think of my first girlfriend, she did the exact same thing you're describing, "drain you, one drop of blood at a time" is so true, and it happened, but back then i didn't know how to deal with girls. No experience what so ever. But now I feel like i have the tools to take on this with a stronger approach, and force my own rules upon her. If she's interested she will stick around, if not there's always other options. Abundance mentality.

And as you mention Montrose, i figured it would be unpopular as well, but i thought of the exact same thing with being in a better position after having sex with her, since she will be emotionally invested and will do most of the chasing. After that i lay my law and work my game.

PapayaTapper, yeah man, you're definitely talking some truth here. I guess it's up to me to bring out her potential. Great analysis about the boyfriend. I feel like if she finds a guy that treats her right, and is not an emotional wreck that hit and abuse her, then she will stay true to him. Raw material indeed.

I don't know much about her relationship to the father, i will have to ask her, but i know that he's non existent and she's living with her mom and step-dad for a long time. The dad left a long time ago. Not sure if they're still connected or not. What kind of work do you think i should be focusing on? I'm interested in knowing how exactly these kind of girls act, i have read a lot about girls without a father role can be manipulated to do things easier, but why exactly is that? Very curious.

[PapayaTapper]

(03-05-2018 01:10 PM)firat113 Wrote:  

H1N1 great detailed answer, this makes me think of my first girlfriend, she did the exact same thing you're describing, "drain you, one drop of blood at a time" is so true, and it happened, but back then i didn't know how to deal with girls. No experience what so ever. But now I feel like i have the tools to take on this with a stronger approach, and force my own rules upon her. If she's interested she will stick around, if not there's always other options. Abundance mentality.

And as you mention Montrose, i figured it would be unpopular as well, but i thought of the exact same thing with being in a better position after having sex with her, since she will be emotionally invested and will do most of the chasing. After that i lay my law and work my game.

PapayaTapper, yeah man, you're definitely talking some truth here. I guess it's up to me to bring out her potential. Great analysis about the boyfriend. I feel like if she finds a guy that treats her right, and is not an emotional wreck that hit and abuse her, then she will stay true to him. Raw material indeed.

I don't know much about her relationship to the father, i will have to ask her, but i know that he's non existent and she's living with her mom and step-dad for a long time. The dad left a long time ago. Not sure if they're still connected or not. What kind of work do you think i should be focusing on? I'm interested in knowing how exactly these kind of girls act, i have read a lot about girls without a father role can be manipulated to do things easier, but why exactly is that? Very curious.

There's your answer. I suspected as much

You basically have two roles to fill for this girl: father and lover. While there's an argument to be made that that's always the case to some degree, this girl needs additional emphasis on the father figure role to compensate for those issues.

What are your relative ages?

Socio economic postions? (Is her family wealthy, or working class?)

Is her mother / step father an alcoholic by any chance? I suspect that's likely

Her insecurities stem from a deep seated abandonment issue. If her parental situation is crappy then she's craving that...stability.

Her "drama" is testing your desire (consciously for her) and ability (subsconciously for her) to provide that which she's so desperate for. In other words its primarily fear driven for her rather than desire (though secondarily) to control you

You sound aware enough to at least approach this on an exploratory level without getting sucked in.

The good news is that if (and that's the most important word in all of this) you can get her fear under control she will make for a very loyal girl (however long it lasts)

[PondScum]

Small bits of bad behaviour like this usually get worse over time, but not always. If you are going to affect her, it's important to be firm yet unruffled (see Amused Mastery on rational male), while giving her a way to save face, e.g. when you tell her you don't want drama about replying to her texts promptly, also say that it's completely understandable considering how handsome you are, after all, hormones make us all do silly things sometimes. It's that line between making her feel foolish, but not like an irredeemably uncalibrated retard that seems to be the sweet spot for me.

Sadly, girls who have genuinely had an abusive ex often don't analyse their experience, so deep down they have negative associations that make it impossible for them to pair bond properly. It's like one part of them is normal and treats you well, and another part is damaged and treats you like the guy who smacked her around. But if she's really messed up, then either she's lying about the abuse, or grossly exaggerating it. Also common.

On the other hand, this is only a text exchange. It's conceivable that she was trying to be funny/edgy and it just came across as bitchy. But girls usually signal that with emojis.

the advice to move on and let her get back in touch is sound. If she's just another narcissistic girl, she'll go elsewhere for her supply, which is definitely what you want!

[MongolianAbroad]

No

[RatInTheWoods]

If you continue with this one, you are going to need to hold iron frame.

Ghost when she throws a tanty, and don't respond until she sends you an apology and offer to make it up to you.

Wear a condom.

Good luck, but I think we all know how this will pan out....

[firat113]

PapayaTapper thanks for the explanation. She's 18 and im 21. Her family is a working class, no big education. Not sure whether her mom/dad are alcoholic, i don't know her that well yet unfortunately. Interesting theory about the drama and why she's testing me. I think you're right.

Pondscum very solid points. Yeah man im currently trying to find a balance as well. I actually did use your advice, since yesterday where she freaked out and sent that weird text "oh you're ignoring me? have fun..." i ghosted her for almost 24 hours, and she sent a message earlier saying "Hey <3" acting like nothing had happened. And i asked her, "weren't you mad at me? what happened", she called me to say she isn't mad at me etc. Confusing. But it worked, ghosting her for this time maybe made her realize she can lose me any time.

(03-05-2018 12:42 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

If you approach this with the mindset that you are giving her the benefit of the doubt but are absolutely willing to drop her if need be after an evaluation period she will sense this and is more likely to comply.

This is how im approaching the situation right now. She seems to be more complying after the ghosting. Things went back to normal. For now at least.

(03-05-2018 02:23 PM)PondScum Wrote:  

On the other hand, this is only a text exchange. It's conceivable that she was trying to be funny/edgy and it just came across as bitchy. But girls usually signal that with emojis.

I actually just asked her about why she was acting crazy last night, and why she texted me this, she said she was just mad and tried to piss me off, she didn't mean it.

PS: i spoke to her a little bit more, asking about more questions, she told me about her first boyfriend (platonic relationship), where she found out he was cheating on her for 3 months. It makes me think this girl chooses some fucked up guys and fall in love with for some reason. It's definitely a red flag, but what else could this mean?

[firat113]

(03-05-2018 03:11 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

If you continue with this one, you are going to need to hold iron frame.

Ghost when she throws a tanty, and don't respond until she sends you an apology and offer to make it up to you.

Wear a condom.

Good luck, but I think we all know how this will pan out....

Absolutely. This is my current plan. I don't want to deal with shit tests and useless arguing right now. We haven't even fucked yet. The thing is... she wants to come to my place this sunday, and im willing to fuck her, but how do i last the next 5 days with shit testing and what not. I need to figure out if it's really worth it, or a way to stop it from happening. Maybe cut the contact shorter until the meet up time, so she starts missing me even more.

[kinjutsu]

I'd leave her be.

There are called Red Flags for a reason. Ignore them at your own risk.
If there are these kinds of problems before you've even had sex then, at least for me, i wouldn't try to bang her.
Sex just complicates things and magnifies girl related drama by a factor of how much you desire her.

She screams of abandonment issues.
If anything she's probably an Alpha Widow by the first guy she dated seriously.

To the OP:
You're better off slowly ghosting on this girl and finding a more normal slightly less attractive girl.
You being 21 means you probably dont have alot of exposure to female mind games.
For all you know maybe she gets off playing complex minds games with guys.

I dated a borderline personality disorder smoke show red head back in 2014. (she was 18)
She attempted suicide, cut herself and had an eating disorder. So much fucking drama but the sex was fantastic.
I thought i could help her get better, but it wasn't something i could do.
The only thing i got for my trouble was dynamite sex and alot of phone/text drama from her.
The highs and lows were so extreme that i became addicted to it. After about 5 months i had to cut things off, i was exhausted.
It got so predictable i was able to set my watch by it.
Now when i come across these girls i just enjoy their bodies and when they eventually create some drama and leave i let them go and ghost on them.

[mensch]

She's a red flag for a relationship, so tread carefully there. For a fuck, whatever, deal with it. Don't contact her much until the meeting and do something useful with your time.

[Winston Wolfe]

(03-05-2018 06:03 AM)firat113 Wrote:  

Now, my question is, this girl is so sweet and we're vibing so well when she's not showing these annoying red flags. I mean, we're not even in a relationship and she's acting like this, imagine if we're in one how it would look like. We haven't even had sex yet, she can't be that attached already.

I'll tell you what it's going to look like if you do end up seeing her more often and she manages to pull you into a relationship.

The first few months of your relationship (honeymoon period), you will ignore her bad behavior and only focus on how she is so sweet and you're vibing so well. You'll view her through rose colored glasses and rationalize all her red flags even though you know damn well that they're there.

That time she threw a tantrum over petty stuff? Doesn't matter, because in general you're vibing so well.

Even the constant shit tests don't seem to exist because your brain will override the negatives with the positives.

I once got into an LTR with a girl who showed massive red flags right off the bat.
- Cut mark on her leg
- Notch count of 40+ (she volunteered this information out of the blue, well thanks)
- Threatened suicide once, over something extremely trivial
- Constant tantrums over petty things
- Cheated on her last boyfriend
- On anti depressants

I could go on.

Despite being red pill aware AND knowing these red flags, I STILL rationalized and went for the LTR. Why? Because the sex was out of this world and, just like in your case, she was just simply awesome to be around and we vibed super well.

Also, I just wasn't as experienced yet in game, with girls and in life in general, at this point in time. Some things have to be learned the hard way.

I thought I'd deal with these red flags later on, one at a time.

It worked for a while. But eventually, it wears you down. Especially after the honeymoon period, you get increasingly sick of putting up with that shit. You become miserable without even realizing it.

Red flags are there for a reason. Screen very hard and very carefully. Know what you're getting into man. Like another poster said, girls like this require an iron frame and even then it's not going to be pretty at times.

Hell, just the fact that you're posting about this means that your gut senses something wrong. Never disregard your gut feeling, it's there for a reason.

If this girl is anything like my ex I just described, even just going for the bang is going to be a massive risk if you don't have the right mindset. Red flag girls are often emotional rollercoasters. They provide amazing sex and before you know it, you're hooked and you're using it to rationalize the red flags.

I'd let her walk.

[nzd]

Without reading your post - No. You can't and even if you can then why?

[Rhyme or Reason]

At least it was posted in the newbie section

[John Michael Kane]

Can you repair a rusted-out car? Can you fix a house full of termites? Can you eat food out of a dumpster?

Red flags are nature's way of warning you to steer clear and invest in a girl with long-term potential. You've been warned.

[firat113]

I am conscious about my decision and that it can either make or break me, but seeing that i can leave at any certain point of time, makes me comfortable getting into this LTR and playing my game. If anything i could use this as a mini LTR and spin some plates on the side, or get into this and reap the benefits of the honeymoon phase, and see myself from there, if she's committed to my rules and i lay my game well, she will be a gem. It's interesting to try out different aspects on this girl, im curious and up for the challenge. This could be a small project. Not investing many feelings into it, but have her as a side dish kind of. Thoughts?

Also push the boundaries well knowing it can backfire, but the question is, who will it backfire on? me? im not the one chasing in this relationship, she will be doing most of the work. If the shit tests and insecurity blow up i will be already nexting to a new girl that i have been working on, on the side.

I mean, think about it, if you never try you never know. PapayaTapper said something that made me really think about giving this a shot.

(03-05-2018 12:42 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

If she's only had one boyfriend who couldn't control a woman (or his own emotions) without hitting her then she's may be good raw material.

An excellent block of marble is a block of marble. But what potentially emerges is up to the sculptor

(03-06-2018 01:24 AM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

Can you repair a rusted-out car? Can you fix a house full of termites? Can you eat food out of a dumpster?

Red flags are nature's way of warning you to steer clear and invest in a girl with long-term potential. You've been warned.

I fully understand this, but im not trying to repair or fix anything. Im simply letting her know my terms and seeing if she follows through. And im not going into this blind or attached, i know the consequences, and it's my job to harvest the fruit. But the work is on her. The only work i will have to do is play the patience game.

Perhaps she isn't broken, but don't know how to act in a relationship, since both relationships have been with insecure guys, one cheating and not having sex with her and one abusive emotional wreck. She needs to be put in place sometimes, and have someone that know how to treat her and deal with her shit tests in a good way so that she can let down that "barrier" she might be having, and commit fully without insecurities and fear of another failed relationship.

[PapayaTapper]

(03-06-2018 05:30 AM)firat113 Wrote:  

I am conscious about my decision and that it can either make or break me, but seeing that i can leave at any certain point of time, makes me comfortable getting into this LTR and playing my game. If anything i could use this as a mini LTR and spin some plates on the side, or get into this and reap the benefits of the honeymoon phase, and see myself from there, if she's committed to my rules and i lay my game well, she will be a gem. It's interesting to try out different aspects on this girl, im curious and up for the challenge. This could be a small project. Not investing many feelings into it, but have her as a side dish kind of. Thoughts?

Also push the boundaries well knowing it can backfire, but the question is, who will it backfire on? me? im not the one chasing in this relationship, she will be doing most of the work. If the shit tests and insecurity blow up i will be already nexting to a new girl that i have been working on, on the side.

relationships have been with insecure guys, one cheating and not having sex with her and one abusive emotional wreck. She needs to be put in place sometimes, and have someone that know how to treat her and deal with her shit tests in a good way so that she can let down that "barrier" she might be having, and commit fully without insecurities and fear of another failed relationship.

+1 ^ This is game in the real world. OP is showing a lot of you guys up

Warning... Mixed metaphors ahead

Lot's of cats in here screaming "next" like it's a form of tourrettes .



Beer's warm? Calm down. Put it in the fridge Francis. That's what its for. Use it

This forum was founded as resource for game. It is likely the greatest repository and or reference for obtaining the tools enabling men to obtain what they want from women specifically and life in general.

Yet all the skills and knowledge are for what?

This

So OP has one date with a girl who according to him:

Is very attractive
Sweet in person
21 yo
Very low notch count
Is very into him

...perhaps too into him...red flag!!!!!!



I wish there were a way to do a Venn analysis of all the guys whose first reaction to any type of "flaw" is "next" cross referenced to to the guys that complain they cant get a girl to respond to a text. (I also wonder how many "keyboard Casanovas" are actually de-facto incels)

There's a reason Goldilocks and The Three Bears is a fairy tale. "Perfect" doesn't exist in the real world.

There's a difference between settling for damaged goods and blemished goods. No one, especially me is advocating the former. Nor am I suggesting saddling oneself with real mental problems. (Although there is a correlation between degree of crazy and level of debauched sex a girl will go...but that's another topic)

What's surprising, as well as troubling, is this mantra of "next" at even the slightest character flaw in a woman. It's indicative of a larger societal problem:

The prevailing need for instant gratification and simultaneous aversion to the slightest adversity.

Life is sometimes hard. Achieving anything of worth takes nimble perseverance

In this case what many see as a girl's flaw (insecurity) is actually a potential plus...if you a) know how to exploit it via game b) are absolutely willing to cut her loose.

What's better? A semi attractive girl with an over inflated sense of self worth or a very attractive girl with lower self esteem. Give me the latter any day.... Shit that's my wheel house.

Identifying girls "issues" and applying some basic psychology is exactly what game is

Pro tip: Deep down they are all flawed, scared little girls. Some just hide it better

As Montrose suggested. OP has an opportunity for a "low investment" notch. If there's potential there he'll have fun finding out. If there's not he'll have fun finding that out too.

Maybe she's nuts. Maybe she's not. If she is he's not going to abandon ship. He's going to just let her off. It's his ship

OP shows me he "gets" what real game used to be and should be.

[treypound]

(03-05-2018 06:41 PM)mensch Wrote:  

She's a red flag for a relationship, so tread carefully there. For a fuck, whatever, deal with it. Don't contact her much until the meeting and do something useful with your time.

sums it up

[PondScum]

(03-06-2018 01:21 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

Maybe she's nuts. Maybe she's not. If she is he's not going to abandon ship. He's going to just let her off. It's his ship
OP shows me he "gets" what real game used to be and should be.

100% agree. Now that I'm pushing 40, it's easy to smugly look back and say I wouldn't make the mistakes with potentially damaged girls I made when I was 21 etc. BOLLOCKS! I would make them all again in a heartbeat if I had my time again, knowing what I know now, and plenty more to boot, I would just be smarter about not getting as attached as I did. The OP is already wiser than I was back then.

As you say, PT, men don't meet ideal girls so much as mould them. Amen to that.

Only one detail to add to this bit, OP:
"Im simply letting her know my terms and seeing if she follows through. And im not going into this blind or attached, i know the consequences, and it's my job to harvest the fruit. But the work is on her. The only work i will have to do is play the patience game."
Bingo, just be prepared to set those boundaries regularly, much as you would with a child, which is actually what she is, being both female and 18. Don't expect her to be like a reliable adult male, where you can tell them something once and shake hands on it. But, if you do tell her something once and she reliably sticks to it, occasional PMS wobbles aside, take that as a good sign.

[BlackHussar]

All of these posts really hit home, but this one strikes me the most.

I can't quote for some reason as I'm on my mobile device, so I will c/p this paragraph from Firat:

"Perhaps she isn't broken, but don't know how to act in a relationship, since both relationships have been with insecure guys, one cheating and not having sex with her and one abusive emotional wreck. She needs to be put in place sometimes, and have someone that know how to treat her and deal with her shit tests in a good way so that she can let down that "barrier" she might be having, and commit fully without insecurities and fear of another failed relationship."

No, brother. Don't. Been there, done that. You can't change her. You can't teach her.
I spent a shitload of time, money, energy trying to teach one of my LTR's how to behave in a relationship. I literally needed to explain for days that she must resist other guys' game, and that guys who approach her in nightclubs don't want to start a fucking friendly conversation and are not looking for friendships with girls rated 8.

You will invest too much time, energy, money, resources into her, and in the end, you might temporarily change her, but she will always remain the same. That's the type of girl who would leave you after 20 years of marriage because of a drugged biker, because she'll eventually get bored of you trying to "change her" and "make her someone else" (in reality, teach her not to be a whore, but they don't understand that).

Save yourself the time. End it ASAP and go search for a normal chick. Believe me.