[plato123]

I matched a girl on Tinder and she was interested off the bat. We had a short series of texts and then met for drinks a few days later. Things went well; she touched me, laughed at my jokes, gave me the puppy eyes look, etc etc. She said we should go to a restaurant for dinner another time and I said the following week would be good for me.

She said she had to go home and I ignored her and kept talking. She stood still and we talked some more before I said its time for us to go.

I never have any troubles kiss closing but because I liked her and wanted her to think about me some more, I kissed her on both cheeks but she actually went for the lip kiss. I gave her a peck and we went our separate ways.

About 5 days later I text her to meet up for dinner and she ignored. I then called her 4 days later and left a voicemail and she texted back something along the lines of "I have family problems and dont have time to see anyone at the moment."

I actually like her and want to see her again. I plan to wait a few weeks and then try again. Am I out of luck? I might be over-thinking the kiss thing but my other experiences tell me that if a girl makes herself vulnerable and you don't reciprocate then you are toast.

How should I proceed?

[torridon747]

Sounds like a bullshit excuse to me. There's a tiny tiny chance it's not and she is an emotional wreck incapable of seeing anyone right now, but if that's true why would you see her again anyways?

You met on Tinder and barely kiss closed. My guess is you lost her because you didn't press for the bang. Live and learn.

There's no harm in pinging her later but don't get your hopes up. Get other girls and remember to always be moving t'word the bang. Girls on Tinder should be a 2 date bang max, any longer and you're going to lose their attention. With good pictures and the right game a lot of these Tinder hoes will come straight to your pad, and almost all of them will be down to go back to yours after a good date with proper escalation while you stoke the fires of sexual tension.

Also this belongs in the newbie section.

[Keepiticy2]

Agree with Eugenics this should be in the newbie section....

The excuse might be legit, with that said I still would treat it the same either way. Just forget about her, A man's greatest weakness is his heart.

Girls aren't as stupid as they claim to be. They know tinder is a place for hooking up and having fun. She wanted you to fuck her and you didn't give her what she wanted. In my experience, the whole (have her wanting more) thing doesn't work for tinder. People get on to have sex and if you don't give her that she's going to lose interest and feel like she wasted her time. Either that or she wanted a free meal, either way, its not grounds to reply after the first date.

Like i said man, just ignore her and forget about her. Tinder hoes are a dime a dozen, And don't fall for any of them.

[Bikal]

(02-25-2018 02:44 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

Things went well; she touched me, laughed at my jokes, gave me the puppy eyes look, etc etc. She said we should go to a restaurant for dinner another time and I said the following week would be good for me.

She said she had to go home and I ignored her and kept talking

How should I proceed?

So good so far.

How did she say she had to go home? Why did you ignore her?

Leave it, you messed up and she's ghosting you. Move on.

[plato123]

She said "I should get going now" but I ignored that and kept talking as I wanted to control the interaction. After about 15 minutes I called it a night.

What is the best way for me to try to re-initiate contact in a few weeks? I lose nothing by trying again...

[Keepiticy2]

(02-25-2018 04:11 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

She said "I should get going now" but I ignored that and kept talking as I wanted to control the interaction. After about 15 minutes I called it a night.

What is the best way for me to try to re-initiate contact in a few weeks? I lose nothing by trying again...

You potentially lose a lot by trying again. She can accuse you of being a stalker, a rapist, a creep etc. Just leave it alone.

However, if you just HAVE to do it, my advice is to call her, try to make her laugh and ask her out. That's what worked for me (but i only did it once)

[Bikal]

(02-25-2018 04:11 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

She said "I should get going now" but I ignored that and kept talking as I wanted to control the interaction. After about 15 minutes I called it a night.

What is the best way for me to try to re-initiate contact in a few weeks? I lose nothing by trying again...

I'm going to presume there were visual non-verbal cues as well, you need to keep an eye out for them.

You said you've already called her right? Her response back was a brush off, I'd say leave it but if you must, call her in a few weeks but ideally, I'd leave it.

[Jetset]

Actions over words. Women are rarely direct with men, and there's an "it's not you, it's me" polite subtext here. Still means she's tapping out. You've made your intentions known and if you play it cool she might save your number and text you someday, in which case you can safely proceed directly to taking her for another drink to try again. It might even annoy her that you don't want her and she'll try to get your attention. If you don't leave it alone, there's a good chance she'll detect your thirst and you're done.

On holding her there to talk more, like Bikal said above, there's a body language difference between "I am afraid of overstaying my welcome with you" and "you have overstayed your welcome with me". The next time this happens, if you aren't sure, throw her a very easy question and pay attention to see if she actually wants to leave or not. "By the way, is the conference going well for you?" If she was afraid she's boring you, she'll be thrilled that you want to keep it going and start a whole new tangent. If she wants out, she'll give you a short answer and you should know that she's done.

[Putin Closes]

This is why you should always go for the SNL with these tinder chicks. Their mood changes constantly, best you bang them so at least have some leverage.

[jselysianeagle]

(02-25-2018 02:44 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

About 5 days later I text her to meet up

IMHO waiting 5 days is a bit much, 1-2 days is probably better. If she's on Tinder, she's probably getting many matches and dates. You don't want to wait too long or she's likely to forget you (unless you're positive you made a stellar impression on her) and you'll have to restart from scratch the next time you text/meet.

In this case I think it's a lost cause and you're better off moving on.

[General Stalin]

She nexted you.

Move on to another and don't get too wrapped up in one girl. Don't try to be a "nice guy" and definitely don't fall for a girl after a couple drinks and a peck on the cheek.

If sex is what you wanted you should have pushed the interaction as far as you could. During conversation talk about some cool shit you might have at your place so you have an excuse to take her there "Yeah you'd love this band, actually I have a record at my place lets listen to it" etc.

[birthday cat]

(02-25-2018 02:44 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

How should I proceed?

I think the best thing you can do is learn from your mistakes. You are over-gaming. Your game is all about which game tactic to employ in every little interaction but you are missing the forest for the trees.

(02-25-2018 04:11 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

She said "I should get going now" but I ignored that and kept talking as I wanted to control the interaction.

This sounds lame to me. Maybe you make a joke about why it is too early for her to leave but at least acknowledge what she said. A guy who knows how to use arrogance could make this work but you knew that she liked you a lot so why take the risk? It sounds much more like an inexperienced guy making a mistake than a highly experienced guy using arrogance in a calibrated way.

(02-25-2018 02:44 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

I never have any troubles kiss closing but because I liked her and wanted her to think about me some more, I kissed her on both cheeks but she actually went for the lip kiss. I gave her a peck and we went our separate ways.

It's the guy's job to escalate but she is escalating and you are denying her. What do you expect her think? Also this is very incongruent with the Mr. Arrogant routine from earlier.

(02-25-2018 02:44 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

About 5 days later I text her to meet up for dinner and she ignored.

Why wait 5 days to follow up with a Tinder girl? Why wait 5 days to text a girl after you denied her kiss? You should have texted her the next day. She thought you rejected her and picked another one of her thousand Tinder matches. Girls can't take the ego hit of being rejected. One of the worst things you can ever do is make a girl think you rejected her.

(02-25-2018 02:44 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

I might be over-thinking the kiss thing but my other experiences tell me that if a girl makes herself vulnerable and you don't reciprocate then you are toast.

I agree. It was "don't fuck it up game" but you fucked it up. All you had to do is go with the flow but you tried to jam a bunch of square pegs through round holes with your uncalibrated game tactics. There are many newbie threads like this where guys are trying too hard to employ game tactics and those tactics come off as incongruent or possibly autistic. Some guys seem to view game as 1% understanding women and 99% which game tactic to use. It's more like 90% and 10%.

(02-25-2018 04:11 PM)plato123 Wrote:  

What is the best way for me to try to re-initiate contact in a few weeks? I lose nothing by trying again...

It doesn't really matter because there is such small probability of converting this girl. You could do what Jetset said or reply with something like "sorry to hear that, i hope everything works out" and follow up in some weeks or some months.