[Jetset]

Read up on social circle game and elderly openers. It's going to be invaluable for you in a small town.

Don't overthink it and make it weird. Just take a weekend off from that place and then come back one night and be totally chill. Talk to guys, too.

[Conquistador]

(01-26-2018 01:27 AM)the1element Wrote:  

She was laughing, the conversation had a good vibe and I had 0 intentions of picking her up I was just being social.

This must have been frustrating for you since YOU knew your intentions. Problem is they didn't, and assumed the worst. Now you know that in the future you shouldn't talk to taken girls regardless of your intentions.

Quote:

Straight up, this shocked me.

It was only a matter of time. You were running around carefree talking to girls like it was your personal playground, in a small town in Canada no less.

This obviously got you down, but it shouldn't. You'll just have to realize there are social norms that need to be abided, especially in a small town. You'll be fine, just do everything you can to get out of that place, otherwise try being more indirect and less bold before word gets out and they have a poster with your picture on it everywhere.

[The_e_man]

Although I will be the first to admit that white-knightery and similar beta behaviour can be rampant among industry staff (particularly bouncers, as male bartenders are generally more cool and have good game themselves), your story seems fishy.

Long story short, I'm going to bet money that you looked like a textbook PUA (or even worse, PUA-in-training) doing his rounds approaching people he doesn't know hoping something will stick. It's obvious to anyone observing, and it will certainly be obvious to venue staff.
Even if you were't being aggressive, even if you were being super friendly and polite and were just trying to *innocently* make friends. It still doesn't matter because to the owner / manager, you're the guy going around hitting on random girls, making some of them feel creeped out, and more importantly, you probably didn't even spend a penny at the establishment because PUA's like to roll sober and they certainly aren't buying rounds since they don't even know anybody there.

Sorry for the short little rant, but don't play too much of the victim card here.

[realRichardJohnson]

That bar is a low quality, junk venue. Don't go back.

From here on out always try to build rapport with the staff before focusing on gaming girls.

If a bar tender ever talks like that to you again feel free to go off on him, but the key is to stay calm.

Verbally assault him like a psychopath, maintain a calm demeanor and don't raise your voice. Pick at every possible insecurity he might have. Call his mom a hoe. Speak in such a way that someone standing five feet away would never understand that you're actually hostile towards him.

What the fuck is he going to do?

If he punches you, then you get to sue the establishment and he'll lose his job. If you say nothing, you're either going to still be kicked out anyway or have no gaming future at that place. It's all reward, no risk for you.

When you're on your deathbed thinking of your regrets in life, do you want not mouthing off to a fat fuck bartenderto be one of them? Who is this pleb? What authority does he have over you? Nothing he can do will have an adverse effect on your life. You are the man, not this schmuck.

Richard "Dick" Johnson

[AneroidOcean]

(02-07-2018 07:10 PM)realRichardJohnson Wrote:  

That bar is a low quality, junk venue. Don't go back.

From here on out always try to build rapport with the staff before focusing on gaming girls.

If a bar tender ever talks like that to you again feel free to go off on him, but the key is to stay calm.

Verbally assault him like a psychopath, maintain a calm demeanor and don't raise your voice. Pick at every possible insecurity he might have. Call his mom a hoe. Speak in such a way that someone standing five feet away would never understand that you're actually hostile towards him.

What the fuck is he going to do?

If he punches you, then you get to sue the establishment and he'll lose his job. If you say nothing, you're either going to still be kicked out anyway or have no gaming future at that place. It's all reward, no risk for you.

When you're on your deathbed thinking of your regrets in life, do you want not mouthing off to a fat fuck bartenderto be one of them? Who is this pleb? What authority does he have over you? Nothing he can do will have an adverse effect on your life. You are the man, not this schmuck.

Richard "Dick" Johnson

Only if you had video evidence to refer to. Otherwise EVERYONE in the bar is going to back the bartender's story and you're gonna get dragged out by the security staff, launched onto the sidewalk and if they call the cops, the cops are going to take their side. You'd be misguided to try to get the bartender to hit you, it gains you nothing.

Yeah sure internet Dick, I'm going to regret not mouthing off to a bartender. Of all the things to regret that's ridiculous.

[Off The Reservation]

Sounds like the bartender knows the "couple" or the guy or the girl, either as regulars or outside the bar. Either the bartender tattled to the so called guy whose gf was thrilled that another man would speak to her, or the guy slithered back from the bathroom and complained to the bartender when you didn't see. Either way it was one or the other.

The girl (unless you left gaps in the story) sounds like she is know by the two guys to be either a slut currently having a less slutty moment with this one guy, and / or the girl lives under this low level angry face dipshit and her bartender friend knows the hulk will grow angry if he sees her disrespecting him like that talking to you how dare you and how dare she they are thinking.

Either I'm right above, or your'e just a prick and we both don't know it

Ah those vast open Canadian plains, eh?

[PUSSYPOUNDER]

His is thinning the herd,getting rid of competition. Bouncers & Bar attenders can be huge white knights and cock blockers reason I don't do clubs no.more. my lays are from church,library and coffee shops .

[the1element]

(02-07-2018 08:57 PM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  

Sounds like the bartender knows the "couple" or the guy or the girl, either as regulars or outside the bar. Either the bartender tattled to the so called guy whose gf was thrilled that another man would speak to her, or the guy slithered back from the bathroom and complained to the bartender when you didn't see. Either way it was one or the other.

The girl (unless you left gaps in the story) sounds like she is know by the two guys to be either a slut currently having a less slutty moment with this one guy, and / or the girl lives under this low level angry face dipshit and her bartender friend knows the hulk will grow angry if he sees her disrespecting him like that talking to you how dare you and how dare she they are thinking.

Either I'm right above, or your'e just a prick and we both don't know it

Ah those vast open Canadian plains, eh?

Hahah, maybe I was being too Alpha and the guys got jealous a Chad with a 12 inch cock was in the room stealing girls.

Lmao.

But yea, that's pretty much what happened.

A good lesson learned, even if your intentions are pure...others may not think the same thing or see that way.

Haven't been back to that bar since.

[Suits]

(02-10-2018 05:41 PM)the1element Wrote:  

Haven't been back to that bar since.

That's how it works. The staff and ownership have a lot of power, on one hand. If anyone who works in an establishment tells you you're being too aggressive, you'd better listen.

On the other hand....you never have to spend money there ever again. Unless it's the only good bar in town, you the consumer can easily decide not to support a business that isn't open to "aggressive behavior."

[the1element]

(02-10-2018 08:40 PM)Suits Wrote:  

(02-10-2018 05:41 PM)the1element Wrote:  

Haven't been back to that bar since.

That's how it works. The staff and ownership have a lot of power, on one hand. If anyone who works in an establishment tells you you're being too aggressive, you'd better listen.

On the other hand....you never have to spend money there ever again. Unless it's the only good bar in town, you the consumer can easily decide not to support a business that isn't open to "aggressive behavior."

Yea, I've actually been in a sort of monk-mode lately. Moving to the other side of the country and I'm focused on saving cash, and doing a lot of reading/reflection.

Funny enough, since I've been doing this the more quality girls have taken a liking to me.

I've got a date with a slim, fit girl who rows later this week. We're going to make dinner together.

[Beyond Borders]

(02-10-2018 05:41 PM)the1element Wrote:  

Hahah, maybe I was being too Alpha and the guys got jealous a Chad with a 12 inch cock was in the room stealing girls.

That's a pretty big cock, Dude.

No homo.

[The Stronger Sex]

You obviously made yourself conspicuous, meaning you weren't smooth enough. It happens to the best of us. This could mean a girl complained about you or a girl's boyfriend did or the bartender thought you could freak people out or even that you targeted a girl he was interested it. The very fact of watching a guy repeating "How's your night" to every girl could trigger people's weirdo red flags. It's his home turf, you have nothing to gain but making a nuisance of yourself. Let it cool off and consider it water off a duck's back. You don't want to appear desperate in front of anybody.

[Vaun]

Quote:

"Hey man, what's your deal you talk to every girl here don't you see she has a boyfriend, I've had girls complain about you and if it keeps up you will have to leave."

This is all you need to know, and says everything about what happened. Take what he said to you on face value. He probably has to say this often enough to other guys that act weird like this too.

Quote:

"Who the fuck is this weirdo who just walked in by himself, bothering all of the women."

- said the bartender, the 10th time this week.

The bar is not your "venue" for picking up women. Intruding on other peoples fun with your ulterior motives, and making it extremely obvious, should result in you getting tossed. I'd toss you from my bar and prevent you from coming back if you did this.

First off; hipster bars are some of the most hyper-sexualized joints to hang out in. As easy, and in most cases, way easier than sports bars to hook up in. Anyone who says otherwise just doesn't have experience in them.

Secondly; the bar tender sounds right. To my earlier point. As a single man drinking in a bar, there is an unspoken bond that happens once you pull up a stool. You are there to enjoy yourself, and uphold the vibe of the establishment. To take it one step further; you are a friend to the staff. As a single drinker, there is even more responsibility on you to ingratiate yourself to the staff.

Solution: You should focus on making friends where ever you go. And put "approaching" in the backseat for now. Just go enjoy yourself and relax. Make basic small talk with the bar tender. Women will approach you if you are just enjoying yourself, and ignoring them.

[Easy_C]

(01-28-2018 03:26 PM)Jetset Wrote:  

Read up on social circle game and elderly openers. It's going to be invaluable for you in a small town.

Don't overthink it and make it weird. Just take a weekend off from that place and then come back one night and be totally chill. Talk to guys, too.

Or better yet, just practice starting conversations with older folks in less harmful circumstances.

For me that's always been something I'm naturally good at. Most of them have good stories they like telling and all you have to do is get them to start talking. I've also noticed most of them are sympathetic to it if you subtly hint that you think the rest of this generation are pussies.