[ginatingles]

Guys, right now I'm in a really weird situation in life and don't know how to move on from it. It might look like an emotional sob story, but those are just strange facts. Don't want to be seen as a victim, just don't know what to do. I'll try to sum up my story:

-I'm coming from small village
-Raised by overprotective mum that did everything for me
-Dad was actually quite "alpha" - can hunt, built a house. Also very agressive, was heavy drinker, beating mum
-I was watching a lot of porn as a little kid (found cds of my dad)
-I was bullied in school
-Was always very emotional and reactive - for example I cried when I could not solve a math problem lol
-In high school I started drinking a lot (around age 16) - by "a lot" I mean drinking till the blackout almost every weekend, cheap wine
-At the same time I started smoking weed
-Met this girl that was ex girl of my friend. One time she invited me to her place, we started drinking and kissing, but i could not get it up - I was nervous as fuck and this story hounts me to this day
-After that I Got first "real girlfriend" in high school - I got extreme beta, I was buying her flowers etc, I also had like strange kinks like foot fetish lol, obviously she dumped me really fast
-In high school I was always socially anxious outcast, had a few strange friends
-Met dude that was into SEO and affiliate marketing, I started making good money selling payday loans online
-Same dude told me about PUA
-Got another girlfriend at the end of high school, after "few attempts" fucked her eventually
-I moved to bigger city to study, still having long distance relationship with second girlfriend
-Eventually she also moved to my city and it was quite nice - in the beggining I was dominant, she loved me and was doing everything I wanted, I was fucking her good
-We were going to restaurants to eat etc, basically I was paying for her sex
-After 2 years I started becoming beta (or even omega) again in relationship
-She probly cheated on me, now I think that it might be with 2 dudes
-Had a major fuckup with some affiliate campaings and lost a lot of money - of course I reacted like a little bitch and cried for some time
-Girl dumped me
-Still had some money from affiliate saved up and I was living from it for a few years
-My dad bought a flat for my sister in the city - I'm living in it right now
-I'm very comfortable - ordering food online, or eating outside, lazy as fuck
-During that few years I was basically - reading about game, going out to swimming pool, going to gym, not working
-Started approaching during the day
-Probly a few thousands approaches, extremely weak results, dates going to nowhere
-Met dudes from local rsd group, actually a few "cool" ones
-Started doing night game - againg weak results, had like 2 one night stands during like 2 years of night game
-Still had a performance anxiety before sex with a few girls
-Got another girlfriend for a year - but she was emotionally unstable and I dumped her - but it was because I wanted to prove something to myself, that I can manipulate girls and dump them too
-Overall I fucked 15 girls from like thousands of approaches, probly +100 dates and a lot of money and time invested
-During all those years I was going to a lot of rave parties, took a lot of drugs like mdma, lsd, shrooms etc.
- I have probly brain damage from drinking and drugs
-Most girls I fucked were actually low self-esteem or very young or drunk
-Last girl I was fucking - She was virgin, very young and insecure, but beautiful - probly best I have fucked yet. Would give her 8/10
-We were meeting only for sex, during weekends
-I was still trying to game other girls, fucked 2 girls after this one
-I had one great experience with this girl 8/10 - I took her for a holiday with some friends, we took mdma/lsd/shrooms and after those vacations and fucking her for a few days I felt best in my entire life - just as if every bad experience from the past was gone.
-I wanted to feel this high all the time, was still tripping during weekends
-Money started to run down, I got anxious because of it
-This girl 8/10 started to see my insecurities, she learned some game and started shit testing me hard, I bacome beta again
-She dumped me

So now I'm 27. Have no job, money or a girl. It looks like I'm still a little mommy boy that wanted to show off to other people because of insecurities and anxiety.

Can't cook, clean or do something worthwhile. I'm even axious to drive a car.

Can't hold a high self esteem girl for a long time bacause after some time I'm becoming submissive beta boy, even though I'm acting dominant at the beggining.

Somehow I'd like to break out of this and become real man not some weird, socially anxious,insecure, pseudo player boy with brain damage.

Is it possible to still be good with women after all this crap and bad experiences? It looks like I have more failures that successes in my life and its difficult break out of it.

Not trolling.

I'm sorry for my bad english.

What would you reccomend? (besides killing myself)

[Montrose]

Get a job

[Preshita]

You gotta stop reading the past ten chapters of your life over and over again, because they affect your emotions way too much it seems, and you'll never be able to start a new chapter that way.

Don't blame your heritage, story, lack of good fortune, or the influence of other people. Most importantly don't blame yourself. Start making money, doesn't matter what job you end up with, this is the first thing you need to do. Not that it'll make you rich, but it'll help you getting stable. work fucking hard, meet someone new, could be anything, not only girls and gaming. Make your criteria for success manageable, and praise yourself for every baby step you make, because they will eventually lead to a better quality where you don't have to worry about the things you never achieved despite your age or the situation you're in in relation to this. When you get to that point you can start setting serious goals, but for now, considering the emotional state you're in, and take my word on this: accepting the truth in your situation is the best thing you can do. Rethink, reboot, and three years from now you'll look back at the time when you posted this, going: I really made it far, damn I'm a fucking champ.. hard work, hard work and hard work.

Good luck brother

[PondScum]

It's a cliche because it's true: it's never too late to start a new day. The only people to whom that doesn't apply are on their deathbed, and even then it's still not too late to make a difference in the lives of the people you'll leave behind.

You need to draw a line and put the past behind you. You've made enough mistakes already to know that there can be NO FUCKING COMPROMISE with drugs and alcohol: never touch them again. If you find out that someone you are friends with uses drugs, stop spending time with them. Same if they drink regularly or to excess. Same with jacking off: every now and then in the shower is fine, but never ever porn again. Another true cliche I'm sure you've heard before: show me your friends and I'll show you your future.
I was a childhood user / addict too. We aren't like other people who can enjoy an occasional toot and then go about our lives, and if we spend time with people who "party" (LOL), even a bit, it's almost impossible for us to keep away from self-destruction.

Stop giving a shit about girls. Well done, you discovered that the game industry is mostly marketing hype and outright lies. The reality is usually as you describe: countless hours of missing a good night's sleep or mooching around high streets, for what? Banging a slut here and there? Woop de fucking doo. Getting girls is not a big achievement, it won't fulfill you, and it will distract you from meaningful activities that can build a life where you are head of a family, or master of your own ship, not some accessory "boyfriend".
Even if you don't so much as smell a pussy for a freaking decade, because you are working on yourself and your crew of business associates, you'll be 37 and in a great position to wife up a girl ten plus years your junior, if you want a family. You won't need to act dominant, because you'll be the real thing. IMO, the only women worth investing your precious time into are those worth marrying and having kids with, and for that, you need to be a man worth having a family with yourself.

I don't disapprove of therapy by default, if you think you need it then give it a try, but a lot of it is expensive horseshit. Grab a copy of Cernovich's Gorilla Mindset, it's probably more effective than the average therapist. If you do go for therapy/counselling, make sure it's not the kind where you dwell on the past and try to find childhood trauma causes for everything. Whatever you do, never ever ever bring all this stuff up with women, even your wife, or your business associates. IMO, that's the great value of a therapist: they aren't part of your life.

I don't care if you are religious or not, I recommend prayer and gratitude to your Creator for everything, good and bad. Fake it if you have to, but keep telling yourself that God made you as a gift to the world, all of you, including your suffering and your death, so stop looking at yourself and your past in that mental mirror of yours so much, and start thinking about what you have to give others. You don't need to be a Christian to learn something from the Last Supper.

As a general rule, be kind to yourself, but make your life as hard as possible. That means don't beat yourself up, don't say shitty things to yourself when you make mistakes or feel regrets, talk to yourself like someone you genuinely care for. However, constantly challenge yourself, and associate yourself with people who challenge, inspire and even bully you into being a better man with something to give to the people around you. Shun the path of least resistance like the poison it is. If you are in a rut right now, start rising at dawn, take a cold shower, drink a healthy beverage, and go for a long walk / run / swim / climb / weights or whatever exercise you're into. EVERY FUCKING MORNING NO EXCUSES, unless you literally have swine flu.

Love yourself, give thanks to your Creator, and do life on hard mode. The sluts will follow, if you still want them.

I would wish you luck, but luck isn't the point. We all hit the jackpot by being the sperm that made it through. That's more than enough luck for anyone.

I wish you pain, passion, and a truly broken heart. If that doesn't make sense now, it will, I pray.

[Bienvenuto]

Bumping this.

Agree with previous posts.

Admire your honesty OP.

there are a lot of threads here

- improving Self esteem. (crucial)

- Help with low mood, feelings of self loathing, drink drugs, mentioning suicide, if only as a joke.

>Do not discount medical help. By that I mean anti depressants, professionals to talk to (even anonymously if you want), getting advice on addictive tendencies, lots of people can avoid the hell of addiction by getting advice and talking it through early<

There are a few things here in turning things around that will take more info about where you are. What your situation is.

On another tack, my question:

lets assume that all your problems and success with women, health, fitness, fame, riches etc. have all been taken care of.

what is it that you want to do with your life? What one thing would you do -If you had a parallel life that you could lead (like a twin you), if you knew that you couldnt fail?-


On another tack, - what things do you do where you lose track of time, just get absorbed in it? -

Lots of aspects to this but you are taking the right first steps and I can tell you there is good advice available on this forum.

[Not a Second Hander]

The very first thing you have to do OP, is to change your attitude, the whole "I'm 27 and my life is over" shtick which animates and permeates your entire post is not going to do you any good.

The late 20s are a tough time for men and it is very common to feel like you've seen it all and that old age is creeping up on you (Which is absolutely ridiculous)

I'm the same age as you. Two years ago I lost my finance job, had a bad breakup, became an alcoholic and was staying in my apartment all day ordering food, drinking myself to oblivion and contemplating about my shitty situation in life. Endless mental masturbation telling myself how much of a loser and idiot I am. That my life was over now that I was almost 26 with no job, no girl and a criminal record (DUI).

Overtime, this can have disastrous consequences on your psyche. After a couple months, I nearly committed suicide. Had cops arrest me and take me to a hospital where my parents had to pick me up from 3000 miles away.

2 years later ... I'm overseas for medical school, got a model girlfriend, run a small business sourcing a rare raw material to Europe, graduating in 2.5 years and my social circle consists of winners.

It is very easy to let pity for yourself cloud your judgement. I think you already know what u need to do. If somebody who is not you wrote your exact same post, what advice would you give them? Solutions are pretty clear but when it comes to our own problems we let the woe me attitude take over.

So here's what I would do.

1. Adopt the attitude of ... "I'm 27 and had a good ride in my early 20s. Made some money, lost some money, partied hard, decent lay count. I tried being who I'm not and probably invested a bit too much time on women. No big deal. Now, it's time to get serious".

2. Stop using female approval and pussy as a measuring stick for success. RSD and the manosphere can definitely warp your mind that way.

3. Quit drugs and drinking immediately. You will always be walking through life with an anchor tied to your ankle that way. The effect alcohol can have on your psyche is tremendous. Don't even get me started on drugs.

4. Get a job and/or engage something productive and value adding. Create value. No more pickup videos, game blogs and self improvement books. Be a net producer.

5. Lift 3-6 x times a week depending on your current fitness level.

Good news is you're still young enough to start over. Bad news is 26-28 is when you have to pick a course of action immediately and close all other doors.

Hope this helps.

[RatInTheWoods]

The good news is that the past does not equal your future.

The bad news is you are a lazy, whiny little bitch, who needs to get a job, man up and start acting right.

It also looks like you need to find a good LTR, and stop wasting time on unproductive random approaches.

There is nothing stopping you from improving yourself, and starting to pay your way and develop good values, and be a man you can be proud of to see in the mirror.

Its not going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it.

[monsquid]

Agree with all posters. At 31 I can tell you that I have felt some of the same things that you described, especially in my late 20s.

At this you need to focus on building a skillset and professional experience so that you can earn money. When you hit 30 you start to realize that you are going to be around 30 more years. Do you hate being poor and lacking opportunities at 27? Then you definitely don't want to be living off of social security and trying to work minimum wage jobs at 60 to live in a group home. You gotta have a long term vision to secure your base living standards.

Stay away from drugs and alcohol. When the fashionable winds of youth die away drugs and alcohol can quickly become a death spiral into depression and physical disability in middle age.

As a side note I can't believe how much I used to lap up the RSD bullshit. The RSD people are the most toxic one dimensional representations of masculinity I have ever seen. Worst part is I really used to admire them and believe them when I was younger. To the point of shilling them to my friends.

[DonnyGately]

(01-25-2018 06:03 AM)Montrose Wrote:  

Get a job

110% this. You're depressed and anxious because you have no job nor cash flow, plus it will give you at least some social circle.

[PondScum]

Any updates, OP?

Don't kill yourself, btw. Motivational quote of the day:

"Whatever you are going through, it has not come to stay, it has come to pass."

[Spartacus]

GYM, make money. good to go...

[Macomber]

27?
Oh, what would I give to be that young again and have so many options in front of me!

[pargan]

The main thing you need to do is stop covering up your problems with drinking, drugs, self pity etc. and just face reality. A lot of people talk about therapy and feeling better about yourself but all that does is add layers to your problems and you never end up facing them. Drinking and doing drugs to feel better is just another way of adding feel good layers to your problems but in reality you solve nothing.

If you feel like the girl used you/cheated on you, you need to understand most people are opportunists and most people really only care about themselves this includes friends/family. This may sound pessimistic but it's the truth. Until you focus only on bettering yourself and success and until you stop caring about everything else you will never succeed. If you keep thinking back on all these past events you will never move forward.

You need to genuinely not care anymore about your old girlfriend, friends, abusive parents. Once you truthfully no longer care about them and only care about success you will succeed.

[Nascimento]

There's more to life than chicks, man. You're not 19 anymore, you should have learned this years ago.

Like another person said; don't let the manosphere distort you. Stop basing a large part of your self-worth on your ability with chicks.

Pull yourself together. Put the girls on the backburner for now.

Have some self respect. Treat yourself better than this.