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How many times to ask a girl out?
01-25-2018, 08:48 PM
There is a hidden rule among girls that they must refuse the first invitation even if they want to meet you. It's a shit test to check if you're persistent. Your mistake is waiting too long, I would initiate a second invitation within 2 days. If she refuses again and doesn't propose an alternative then it's a bad sign. On the third try you'll know for sure if she was genuinely busy or if she was wasting your time all along.
However, I never delete numbers that have replied to my messages. I've had good success restarting a conversation and getting the bang a few months after being turned down. Girls change their minds all the time.
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How many times to ask a girl out?
01-25-2018, 09:09 PM
"How many times to ask a girl out?"
When I was in my early years of high school I was turned down a lot. So, gradually, I devised a method to avoid this.
What I did was arrange it so that when I was in a convo with a woman, I'd bring up a subject (or an idea) that would prompt her to say either "Let's do that together!" or "Take me next time!"
This can be anything from mentioning you went hiking somewhere to you visited a shooting range, to you know a cool record store, concert club, or restaurant no one else has head of.
What you DON'T want to do is ask her to go with you. What you need to do is dangle the good times in front of her (and allude to you having them with other women), so that she says "That sounds like fun!"
Once a woman has suggests you and her do something, her ego is on the line and she's invested something in you. So, she'll generally behave better.
The problem is getting the conversation to the point where she makes such a suggestion. You need to know how to get there. You can't just walk up to a girl and say "I saw a great concert Friday! Well, bye!!!"
"Getting there" can be like verbal jazz improvisation: Push/pull, leaving "negative space" in the convo (i.e. knowing when to shut up), disqualifying yourself, throwing in left-field surprises, and doing the opposite of what everyone else does.
At the outset, I'd suggest asking questions. People love to talk about themselves. When women do this, it's a good way for you to understand where they're coming from. Maybe they're into sports. Maybe old English literature. So ask away and make mental notes.
I also used to do a surprise comedic bit, I'll share now. This worked for me every time -- but you have to have the right vibe to pull it off.
After you get to know a girl a bit, you walk up to her sheepishly, tell her you need to ask her something important, and then wait a few seconds, as if you're too embarrassed to ask. When she finally makes you ask her, you say "I was wondering if you.......[PAUSE]
....could lend me a quarter for the vending machine."
Usually the girl finds this hysterical. You set her up. She assumed you were going to ask her out, but what you really wanted was some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
But what you've also done here is tweaked her subconscious mind and she'll be asking herself "Hey wait...why DIDN'T he ask me out!" This puts her in the mindset that on some level, she wanted to get asked out by you.
It's also a way to build sexual tension, than snap it away immediately with humor. From there, you can develop a running joke each time you see her. This is what would happen with me.
If the girl likes you, she might start making smart-ass suggestions like "So, do you need me to buy you lunch today or lend you money?" To which you can reply "Sure -- take me to Wendy's" or "No, but you can share that dessert with me?"
This leads me to another point. Benjamin Franklin once said that to gain friends you ask for favors. This gives the person an unconscious feeling that they're needed.
So, instead of asking a girl out, ask for the homework assignment you missed. Ask for (more) change to get snacks. Ask if her car has GPS because you need directions to somewhere. A lot of times, this all will lead into further conversations or the aforementioned "running jokes," where it's easy for the two of you to end up at least hanging out.
Another final thing I used to do is break off conversations before their time and purposely not ask for a phone number. On occasion, I'd even refuse a number, claiming "My girlfriend would get pissed" when I had no g/f.
Which leads to this big final point: Try to be seen with a good-looking woman in front of any women you want to date. Pre-selection is a very important thing and goes a long way in making women think you're desirable. People value things that they perceive already have value.
I've droned on a bit too much here, but someday I might write up some "pre-selection" stories from when I was young. I stumbled onto this concept long before the manosphere coined the term. Pre-selection, I think, might be more important than the art of conversation in some ways.
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How many times to ask a girl out?
01-26-2018, 03:13 AM
So many things I want to say based on the AWESOME responses on this thread. Seriously guys thank you so much for giving me your personal time to write such thought provoking and detailed answers. It is very much appreciated. Every single one have you have said some really interesting and insightful things. What is fascinating is the range of bases your answers have all covered. From having a purely screening mindset to playing the hard-core 'game' approach.
I personally only day game as I always despised night game (because I never had any success) or social circle game (because I was always too low status to be able to do it) and occasionally tinder (which has become significantly worse over the last 2 years to the point where it is almost useless). So stuff like pre-selection and what not is not really an option though I know how effective it is (which kind of depresses me).
I am becoming far more relationship minded and not really looking for ONS. Moreover, unlike in 2016 I am trying to reduce the priority of picking up girls to a lower level as I am now at the stage in life where I want to focus on other things such as making money and living a certain productive lifestyle so the idea of having to use high level game and the 'thrill' of the hunt is not something I am looking for. Personally i don't believe having 'top level' game is going to add 2 points to your sexual market value anyway. Maybe 1 at best but even if I did manage to snag an '8' I would burn myself to the ground having to use 'game' just to maintain her.
I am certainly at the stage where I want to screen out girls who are not interested or just giving their numbers out of politeness or ego boosting purposes so I am only left with girls who are amenable to actually meeting up and don't need Mystery level game to even get out. But at the same time I do not want to lose girls when some unknown error or such is screening out a girl who would in fact meet. For example girls who don't offer alternatives but perhaps are naive and don't know any better. I don't know...Days broken arrow's response is indeed very interesting with regards to this.
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How many times to ask a girl out?
10-29-2018, 04:38 AM
Jeeze that post feels like it was forever ago.
If a girls listening keep spitting game. Be outcome independent. Don't make it your only focus and as always game other girls. Once again only do this when there's no social repercussions - then who cares how you come off as. Obviously don't double text too much never triple text and if the girl goes ghost leave it alone, don't want to catch a charge or become renowned for being desperate and weird.
. That 2nd girl in my post I relentlessly hit on her whenever there was a spair moment or I was bored. Granted she was the type of girl to play along but I never once got frustrated or gave a single shit if I fucked her or not that night I honestly figured one of my friends would bag her before I did.
I honestly don't bother much with colder leads nowadays. I'll cut some ditzy bitches a little slack if I think they forgot or they just don't think I'm the shit yet but other than that fuck it. These days I usually have more leads to cycle through and less time to play long game.
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How many times to ask a girl out?
10-29-2018, 06:17 AM
Persistence breaks down resistance.
Don't debate me.
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How many times to ask a girl out?
10-29-2018, 12:20 PM
Yes, man . But sometimes , I just like the challenge . But I hear you bro .
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How many times to ask a girl out?
10-29-2018, 01:49 PM
Banging a girl depends on her emotional state.
I usually have girls on Facebook, so I don´t delete them, just don´t text them, if they are not for anything. The whole time they can watch your interesting life and when they get dumped by their boyfriend, they know you are there..
"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
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How many times to ask a girl out?
11-13-2018, 12:50 PM
Quote: (01-21-2018 05:01 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:
Women who want you will make themselves available to you. It's really that simple. If shes dodging you, she doesn't like you. And there is little to nothing you can do to change her mind on that.
Screen, don't convert. This is my motto.
Almost a year later, I've come around more to team convert. What I'm realizing is converting / screening is more of a spectrum than it is a binary,
"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
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How many times to ask a girl out?
11-13-2018, 01:32 PM
Burn the lead to the ground but up the ante each time. Instead of offering to take her somewhere invite her over for a drink or something. Reduce the effort each time
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How many times to ask a girl out?
11-29-2018, 07:17 PM
It ultimately depends on the person as some of the posters have pointed out,. How much energy do you want to expend on this one girl? I do agree to some extent that once you finding yourself spitting more than a decent amount of game on a girl, you are falling into her frame. She might get attracted temporarily but you don't know if you have a future flake in your hands once you are out of sight. Every guy knows how much on average to put in an interaction to get a favorable response if she is genuinely interested.
Most guys out there are not even approaching 90% of the girls giving out IOIs while walking on the street, in a store or at the opposite end of the bar. Then why bother on the 10% of girls who can't make up their mind?
On a macro scale being persistent is not doing any favors for the next generation of guys. Girls are going to expect more from guys and are going to feel bad putting out quicker if the guy before worked for it.
Not to forget, in this day and age, the girl you turned from a No to a Yes might go back to a No later and regret her choice and we all know how that can turn out for a guy in the worst case scenario.