[Stonk]

I find it hard to maintain mystery in a date after I've rambled about myself.

How do I ramble and keep a conversation going in a date setting for long without losing my mystery?

[Rain97]

Just don't talk about yourself much? That's female behaviour.

[Tex Cruise]

delete

[Baphomet]

(12-12-2017 05:42 PM)Stonk Wrote:  

I find it hard to maintain mystery in a date after I've rambled about myself.

How do I ramble and keep a conversation going in a date setting for long without losing my mystery?

And why are you doing that, exactly? "Selling yourself" to a girl as very bad game.

[debeguiled]

Everything that you would normally make explicit, keep cryptic.

Everything that you would normally nail down, keep ambivalent.

This is hard to do if you are naturally a straight talker.

It takes practice.

Don't answer every question she has. Sometimes say things like "it depends" or "you're funny."

Every now and then say, "I think you know" and "Are you kidding?" but say them randomly, where they don't make sense.

If she objects, say, "I can't believe you are even asking that."

Or, "If you have to ask, you don't deserve to know."

Don't try so hard to keep a normal conversation flowing, instead, study your own inner landscape, and if you are bored, change subjects abruptly. If a random thought pops into your head, give voice to it. If you don't feel like answering a question or following up on what she said, don't, just go off on your own tangent. If she complains, say, "did you fart?"

When she says no, say, "I didn't think so."

Mainy ask her questions about herself, and when it gets too boring, start talking about yourself without letting her get a word in edgewise, until you get bored of that, then let her talk again.

Just try this stuff out, see what happens, and adjust accordingly.

Don't give her your life's story, even if she asks for it. If you do, she will think she has got you figured out, even though she doesn't.

Say, "that's private" every now and then.

Set pointless boundaries, and then cross those boundaries when you are asking her something. If she says it is a double standard, say no, it is a single standard for you and a single standard for me.

That ought to keep her guessing.

[Stonk]

Thanks debeguiled.

[HankMoody]

1. Talk sort of stupidly. Use really small words. "Good" "bad" "stuff". When I chat with women, you'd think I didn't make it out of junior high school. "That's good." "Sounds good." "Good stuff." "Sounds like a bad dude." "Hmmmm..."

I have become a master of "pleasant conversation" just by not saying a lot, and using mostly small words, non-verbal interactions, and cryptic phrases. Nod your head or drop a "hmmm" here and there.

Make judgments. "I like that." "Awful." "Not good." "He sounds cool."

2. Do not answer many questions about yourself, but don't be weird about it.

"What do you do for a living?"
"I fly fighter jets."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Like Top Gun."

"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a writer."
"Really? What do you write about?"
"The things. And the stuff."

The key is you can't break frame and to keep it fun. I love to give off the wall answers like "Yoga Instructor", "Meditative Assistant", "Professional Softball Player", "Cat Nurse", you name it. They find this fun and flirty. "C'mon Hank, what do you REALLY do?" "What do I do? A lot of things, really."

3. Use pregnant pauses in conversations. If the conversation slows down, just say nothing and let her talk. She always will. Just stare and she'll start up the conversation again. Don't fill in conversational gaps.

4. Use the "Ron Swanson." Answer questions with questions.

"Where is your favorite place to eat, Hank?"
"Do you like Chinese?"
"I love Chinese!"
"Have you ever been to China House?"
"No..."
"Why haven't you been to China House?"

"Hank, where are you from?"
"Where am I from?"
"Yeah, where did you grow up?"
"What if I were to tell you I grew up next to Leonardo DiCaprio?"
"Shut up, did you really grow up with Leonard DiCaprio?"
"What's up with all these sugar packets being different colors?"

etc. Again, demeanor is playful and fun. Not evasive. You can literally just ask a new question if the conversation gets boring. I will often use non-sequiters.

Do not use "job interview" questions. You can always fall back on some basic ones - "Where are you from?" "What's it like there?"

5. There is no need to talk about yourself. Even if you have a cool job and a lot of money, when you do that it's like you're trying to qualify yourself to her. You know what does not get me laid? "Hi I'm Hank. I'm a lawyer, I live in a big house, and I was just on the front page of the newspaper." You know what does get me laid? Really easy small talk about nothing. Watch a few old episodes of Seinfeld -- that's the demeanor you want. You're talking about nothing, but the conversation is enjoyable.

[Cumlluminates]

Basically, don't get diarrhea of the mouth nor divulge too many specifics.

[treypound]

Talk less, listen more. If you focus on listening to what she is saying you will know exactly how much (or how little) to share.

[Vill@in]

Always carry smoke bombs on you and when you leave, light one and drop it on the ground.

This will give you cover to just....disappear.

Bitches love that shit.

[The Alpha Virgin]

Often you have to be interested to be interesting.

I'll probably just repeat what others have already said here but I think where a lot of people go wrong is when they try to be interesting by just pouring out shit from their mouth about stuff they're interested and feel passionate about themselves and by talking about themselves, instead of just trying to meet the other person where they're at.

I know that most chicks don't have much going on in their lives but make a try. Just try to focus on the girl on the first date and get to know her and try to be genuinly interested in her. I remember the last few dates I had before I got into an LTR where I talked about this with the girls I were on dates on and they agreed that most people just love to talk about themselves on first dates (which the girls failed to realise that they pretty much did themselves) and they told me that other guys they've been on dates with just rambles about themselves and try to brag and impress them.

So I guess most "alpha thing" to do or what not, is to just show that you actually don't have to impress anyone because you already know your high value.

I admit that I also love to ramble and hear my own voice but by focusing on the girl instead I don't reveal too much about myself, which leaves her with some questions about me and my life and I suppose I come off as more interesting paradoxically.

And there might even be something you can learn from her and her kinda dull life even if you don't end up banging her.

[EmotionalGeek]

Normalny when I don't want to answers a questions I give funny answers and keep feeding her jokes as long as she resign from asking.

[heavy]

First, you have to really dumb it down. Zero intelligence in the conversation...

but keep flapping your jaw

Which should naturally lead to subjective conversation ("I like this", "that looks like", "I feel like")

Slight direct toward teasing

What does MK stand for? Oh I though it was medium kool, like that you're cool, but only medium...blah blah she responds...no way, I swear you spell kool with a k...yeah just like kandy...blah blah she responds...oh maybe that was just the name of that stripper my brother got for the bachelor party...blah blah blah getting her to jump in to conversation at any point.

You should feel like you just talked incessantly about dumb shit that is completely meaningless...


It's not easy for us logical thinkers, but it is simple. Dumb dumb dumb, talk talk talk, tease tease tease.

Oh you should be funny too...but not in an adult way, in a dumb child humor way. And I find everyone is dumb funny if they can dumb it down enough. Don't pay too much attention to suave cool movie guy who uses clever smart humor, most women mostly want to play dumb funny.

Don't forget, as HankMoody pointed out, pregnant pauses. Allow them. They should naturally happen, and you should allow them to.

[Cumlluminates]

(12-14-2017 09:39 AM)Vill@in Wrote:  

Always carry smoke bombs on you and when you leave, light one and drop it on the ground.

This will give you cover to just....disappear.

Bitches love that shit.

Don't forget to say "you've been Rooshed" as you make your mysterious smokey exit...

[HankMoody]

Some random but helpful conversation pointers...

1. Do not lean into the conversation. Always lean away.

2. Spread out. Grab an extra chair and put your arm on it. Take up as much space as possible.

3. Do not laugh at your own jokes.

4. Do not touch your face or look down at the floor.

5. Do not fidget with your hands.

6. Try and let her do most of the talking. I go for a 70 / 30 ratio.

7. Ask open ended but interesting questions. "How did you like that?" "Why that place?" "What's fun there?" Don't ask boring shit about work. Don't try and get too deep.

8. Avoid politics on the first date. After the first date, tattoo her with a Trump | Pence logo.

9. Don't smile or laugh too much. Act slightly disinterested. Even check your phone from time to time, but chide her (lightly) if she does the same. ("Did the Bears score a touchdown?")

10. Be exceedingly polite to the server, like they're your wingman. It makes the entire interaction way more fun.

[debeguiled]

(12-13-2017 09:34 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

The key is you can't break frame and to keep it fun. I love to give off the wall answers like "Yoga Instructor", "Meditative Assistant", "Professional Softball Player", "Cat Nurse", you name it. They find this fun and flirty. "C'mon Hank, what do you REALLY do?" "What do I do? A lot of things, really."

This is the key to everything. Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself to get it right, or be the ultimate alpha. There's always other conversations.

Have fun and be playful. Loosen up. No answer really matters, and even if she gets mad about something just believe you can win her back by not buying into melodrama, just chugging along and amusing yourself.

I have a lot of trouble with this, actually, just having fun, and for me it is almost like achieving flow with your basketball shot or something. It is like just trusting yourself, that is the hard part, just trusting your own instincts and not putting pressure on yourself.

My inner phrase when I find myself getting too serious is --that's what she is there for--my amusement and entertainment, she is there for me to have fun and have something to do, not the other way around.

[bgbusiness]

People tell me that I am mysterious all the time, I don't do it on purpose, it's just the way I am.
A lot of sigma males have this (Whether you believe that such males exist or not)

Just keep your mouth shut 90% of the time, only talk when people ask you questions, don't ask them the same question. Just answer them in succinct manners.

Most of my behaviors are like that where I am more aloof, blasé, nonchalant, etc. That's why a lot of people who grew up poor or in the hood area are like that because they have that "dark energy" about that. It's attractive and people are curious about you when you are stoic AF.

[Gothica]

I recently watched a review of the movie "Suicide Squad", in which the reviewer observed how the filmmakers gave out all of the most interesting facts about the characters in the first 20 minutes. They should have let the audience gradually discover the characters instead of piling on the exposition. That was why the movie failed to intrigue people, and it's the same frame to keep when dealing with women. If they know too much, they won't be intrigued.

Based on this model, maintain a 1 to 3 ratio when it comes to giving out information, just like you might in other things. Let her reveal three truths about herself for every one actual fact you share with her. Most of the time, deflect her questions with joke responses, minimalist responses, or throwing questions back at her.

"Where do you work?"

"Take a guess..."

"Umm... a call center?"

"Oh, you're so very wrong. If that's the sort of guy you usually date, you're in for some surprises from me."

[Preussen]

I think being mysterious also is an indicator of a criminal element and we all know how women feel about bad boys. I know from my dealings with police or other authority figures that you only give them just enough to keep them prying but never giving away the whole story.

[Hypno]

The primary emphasis should be on questioninger her. First, she will bond with you as she reveals info about herself. Second, you learn stuff that you can use (oh, your roommate is a slut?). Third, you avoid having to talk about yourself.

Think of your conversation as a detective interrogation, make it your goal to find out something undisclosed. Pratice his with all interactions - the Uber driver, etc.

When talking on a date, and you get an answer, just nod and be silent. Most people are uncomfortable with silence, and they'll tell you even more. If they don't, say something like "I'm listening," Tell me more, how did that make you feel.

There are self-help gurus that have a mantra that it takes 6 levels of questions to get to what drives people. 1, Why do you want to invest in real estate? A. To get rich. 2. Why do you want to get rich? A. So my kids will have the things that I didn't have. 3. What things did you didn't have. A. New toys. 4. How did not having new toys make you feel? A. I felt inferior to my neighbors/friends. And so on and so on.

Maybe stop at one or two levels, and be congruent and proceed gently, but often there are layers beyond what is revealed is you push for it, and that act of divulging it to you will bond her to you. She'll end up having a great time, emotionally connected to you, and then think back that she hardly knows anything about you.

When she does interrogate you, gently turn it back on her. So, what do you do? I'm an accountant, but that is not nearly as intereting as waiting tables in that cool restaurant you work at. I bet you work with or meet some really interesting people. Tell me about the most interesting person you work with. And why do you think she's interesting? . . . Is that a part of you that secretly wants to be like that?

The other technique once she is asking questions of you is to give partial answers, smirks, and vague hints at being evasive. "Its complicated." "Oh, well I can't tell you about that until I know you a little better, its X-rated." "Why do you ask?" "I'm not sure I'm ready to show you that part of me yet." The problem with these anwers is that while they spike mysteriousness, its temporary because all it will do is make her push to get answers. You either need to be ready to give her answers in 5 mins or you will hurt her feelings/piss her off. The only way to completely dodge these questions is to provide a riduculous answer. "How many women have you slept with?" "I'm a virgin, will you help me lose my virginity?" "How many Sugar Babies have you had on this site?" "73." "No, really?" "73 (:>)".

[BadgerHut]

debeguiled:

"This is hard to do if you are naturally a straight talker."

Ain't that the truth.

Anyway, some of the suggestions to be teasy and hard to pin down can work, but have never been congruent with my vibe, and require a lot of verbal acuity that a game newbie probably isn't long on.

If you want to go more with the "still waters run deep" kind of vibe, I recommend speaking slowly and clearly, which will take up time in the conversation AND give off a relaxed vibe that can captivate her attention. When it's your turn to talk, tell stories about your circle that aren't about you, esp if you can work some social-drama angles that activate her right brain (I have a story about how my boss quit suddenly one day because the management discovered he was shagging an underling; the tension of the story is us discovering what the reason was).

Use her questions not as requests for facts but as opportunities for expansions with high-value statements (where are you from? "I grew up in X, which was a great place to be back in its heydey.")

If asked about your job, frame it in the most colorful, people-oriented way possible (I help people find the home of their dreams) and maybe have a story or two about your work environment at the ready. Then change the subject away from the facts of work, at best ask "do you like what you do?" Asking about work is cliche conversation that has almost no bonding value.

The most important thing for me to learn back in the newbie days was to be 100% confident and unflustered when delivering. It's easy to give off a vibe that you are nervous or desperate to impress; you need to replace that with a sense that you are in control of the conversation and feel comfortable with her. She will follow your lead.

[BadgerHut]

Hank,

"10. Be exceedingly polite to the server, like they're your wingman. It makes the entire interaction way more fun."

Totally - once you've been polite, you should engage the server in the conversation. Ask for recs of places to bounce to, ask where they are from and how long they've been working there. Showing her that you can have a normal conversation with another person can knock down a lot of barriers, she can see you aren't putting on an act for her.

[Stonk]

Really nice suggestions. Thanks guys.

[Dalaran1991]

There was an old piece on Chateau Heartiste about being mysterious: "if the girl tells you "I feel like you know everything about me but I know nothing about you", then you've played everything correctly".

I always got this happened to me post-coitus. If I can give any pointers, it's this: follow the old school PUA program.

That means:

Cold-reading. If there's one "technique" that all guys can use to hook girls and make you seem more mysterious and interesting, it's this. Learn it, perfect it, love it.
Story-telling with DHV (only after you got her hooked)
Role-playing
Palm-reading. It still works in 2018, confirmed. Especially with young girls.
Strong yet lazy eye contact. Let your eyes speak for you.

If you are doing all of this, the girl should be talking just as much as you. The kicker is that, when you are talking you are mostly talking about her, without revealing too much about yourself.

By the end of the date if you play this right she should have given you everything you need to seduce her.

Really just pick up Bang and follows the exact routine inside. I dont care if you think it's robotic or sketchy, it works. For Roosh and for everyone else.

[Stonk]

Dalaran1991

Any link to the Chateau Heartiste page on being mysterious? Try looking for it but to no avail.