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The importance of calibration(Yes/Maybe/No girls)
#1

The importance of calibration(Yes/Maybe/No girls)

I believe it's super important to be able to tell, among other things, how into you a girl is and adjust accordingly. Like many in the pickup sphere, I started out really autistic and often I would push too hard on a girl who looking back was clearly not into me, and also not bother with girls which in hindsight wanted me bad.

As far as I know the Yes/Maybe/No girl system was from Nick Krauser, however please correct me if I'm wrong.

No Girls

I believe Roosh once said in a book or article that in an approach to act as if your feet were planted to the ground and if the girl doesn't walk away you've got to keep talking as if she's still interested. That's a really good beginner guideline but to me it's just that. It's good because beginner guys, particularly if they seem relatively autistic or gameless just cannot tell if a girl is into them or not and instinctually when you first start anxiety is running high and every part of them wants to leave the interaction for safety that they start rationalising reasons to leave.

However, after a few years doing approaches on and off I've noticed just the difference a girl acts if she's a no girl and if she's a yes or maybe girl. Just the brusque demeanor, the want to walk away, her rudely interrupting you she's "going to see her boyfriend right now", if she's particularly nice the pained look in her face etc. I have no interest in wasting any time on a no girl, sure if I try really hard I could convert a girl but it's just way too much effort.

The other thing is if it's not a street stop or something similar the girl may be in a situation where she feels she can't escape. This is where I feel it's critical to know if a girl is into you or not so you can leave the poor girl alone. In my case this actually makes me more confident because I know I'm not doing anything wrong or intruding on a girl's space because I know when to back off, so I can make my moves more without overthinking it.

Maybe Girls

Girl on the fence who's not sure if she's into you or not. This is where all the classic PUA techniques come in: negs, DHVs, push/pull, cocky/funny, teasing, kino, dread game and all the rest. Work on building the attraction until the girl's into you.

Negs in particular are really easy to get wrong and are used to slam pickup in general, you've really got to think of it as not an insult, but more a compliment that makes her stop and think. As I've worked on my game/vibe I've found that negs sometimes just come out naturally as that's just what I'm thinking at the time and I'm relaxed enough that I just talk about what goes through my mind. If in doubt though just skip negs altogether- they don't seem all that necessary(however, maybe they are in the US/Canada or in nightgame/online dating situations where the girls are cuntier and you have to "take them down a peg").

Yes Girls

At this point if you've either converted a Maybe Girl or a girl is somehow super into you from the start then she's a Yes Girl. You do not want to actively do attraction building techniques at all(depends which ones, but in general), it's actually counterproductive as the girl wonders why you're trying so hard to impress her. Often a guy who's used to "working for a girl's attraction" or is a bit insecure does feel the need to still build attraction but you really need to be confident in yourself that you don't need to prove yourself. Attraction building is a means to an end, if you already are there then you don't need it. You'll probably be able to tell after a while interacting with girls, but generally they do "IOI"s like being wide eyed, hanging on on your every word, laughing and being engaged.

For a yes girl, because attraction is already established, the only things that matter are escalation and comfort. You could also think of it that only escalation matters, and comfort is just the means so the girl doesn't get too weirded out. Also, I do like getting to know the girl generally, call me a romantic.

From reading RVF a bit I believe guys like Linux and Kaotic almost exclusively rely on converting yes girls. This is fine and if they are happy doing that then this is what they should keep doing. Yes all the standard lift more, dress better, get a better job/more money etc all are incredibly helpful and I would highly recommend doing them but there are diminishing returns. Once you have a base level of competency I would only do them if I found them particularly enjoyable/rewarding on it's own. Doing those passive game activities helps increase the number of yes girls(and perhaps maybe girls).

However to me not every guy can rely on exclusively yes girls. Maybe they are not a girl's type or classically attractive or they really want to target girls much hotter than them. If you are in this category you want to take the guys who push the whole passive game then be "masculine" and just escalate and not worry about "pickup tricks" with a grain of salt- building attraction is really important for the girls you really want.

Another thing to end on. There's this whole thing about "think of yourself as the prize not the girl". While I do think that idea has a lot of merit, as a lot of guys overvalue girls and don't value themselves enough, ultimately I end up not thinking completely like this. In the end the reason why I do pickup and approach a ton(and girls don't) is because I believe girls are the prize. To me what's important is thinking despite the girl being the prize I'm really confident in myself, I've got nothing to prove, I've got abundance mentality and all the rest, so I don't act needy automatically.

The subtle difference seemed important for me as taking thinking of myself as the prize at face value produced quite a lot of cognitive dissonance- why the fuck was I approaching like a dog if I was the prize? I find it's much better to recognise reality but still feel good about myself regardless. Being congurent is really important in game that if you don't have it you've got to fake it, but I'm at the point where I'm not going to bother doing all that because it works to just be myself.
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#2

The importance of calibration(Yes/Maybe/No girls)

Quote: (12-06-2017 11:56 AM)The Catalyst Wrote:  

I believe it's super important to be able to tell, among other things, how into you a girl is and adjust accordingly. Like many in the pickup sphere, I started out really autistic and often I would push too hard on a girl who looking back was clearly not into me, and also not bother with girls which in hindsight wanted me bad.

As far as I know the Yes/Maybe/No girl system was from Nick Krauser, however please correct me if I'm wrong.

No Girls

I believe Roosh once said in a book or article that in an approach to act as if your feet were planted to the ground and if the girl doesn't walk away you've got to keep talking as if she's still interested. That's a really good beginner guideline but to me it's just that. It's good because beginner guys, particularly if they seem relatively autistic or gameless just cannot tell if a girl is into them or not and instinctually when you first start anxiety is running high and every part of them wants to leave the interaction for safety that they start rationalising reasons to leave.

However, after a few years doing approaches on and off I've noticed just the difference a girl acts if she's a no girl and if she's a yes or maybe girl. Just the brusque demeanor, the want to walk away, her rudely interrupting you she's "going to see her boyfriend right now", if she's particularly nice the pained look in her face etc. I have no interest in wasting any time on a no girl, sure if I try really hard I could convert a girl but it's just way too much effort.

The other thing is if it's not a street stop or something similar the girl may be in a situation where she feels she can't escape. This is where I feel it's critical to know if a girl is into you or not so you can leave the poor girl alone. In my case this actually makes me more confident because I know I'm not doing anything wrong or intruding on a girl's space because I know when to back off, so I can make my moves more without overthinking it.

Maybe Girls

Girl on the fence who's not sure if she's into you or not. This is where all the classic PUA techniques come in: negs, DHVs, push/pull, cocky/funny, teasing, kino, dread game and all the rest. Work on building the attraction until the girl's into you.

Negs in particular are really easy to get wrong and are used to slam pickup in general, you've really got to think of it as not an insult, but more a compliment that makes her stop and think. As I've worked on my game/vibe I've found that negs sometimes just come out naturally as that's just what I'm thinking at the time and I'm relaxed enough that I just talk about what goes through my mind. If in doubt though just skip negs altogether- they don't seem all that necessary(however, maybe they are in the US/Canada or in nightgame/online dating situations where the girls are cuntier and you have to "take them down a peg").

Yes Girls

At this point if you've either converted a Maybe Girl or a girl is somehow super into you from the start then she's a Yes Girl. You do not want to actively do attraction building techniques at all(depends which ones, but in general), it's actually counterproductive as the girl wonders why you're trying so hard to impress her. Often a guy who's used to "working for a girl's attraction" or is a bit insecure does feel the need to still build attraction but you really need to be confident in yourself that you don't need to prove yourself. Attraction building is a means to an end, if you already are there then you don't need it. You'll probably be able to tell after a while interacting with girls, but generally they do "IOI"s like being wide eyed, hanging on on your every word, laughing and being engaged.

For a yes girl, because attraction is already established, the only things that matter are escalation and comfort. You could also think of it that only escalation matters, and comfort is just the means so the girl doesn't get too weirded out. Also, I do like getting to know the girl generally, call me a romantic.

From reading RVF a bit I believe guys like Linux and Kaotic almost exclusively rely on converting yes girls. This is fine and if they are happy doing that then this is what they should keep doing. Yes all the standard lift more, dress better, get a better job/more money etc all are incredibly helpful and I would highly recommend doing them but there are diminishing returns. Once you have a base level of competency I would only do them if I found them particularly enjoyable/rewarding on it's own. Doing those passive game activities helps increase the number of yes girls(and perhaps maybe girls).

However to me not every guy can rely on exclusively yes girls. Maybe they are not a girl's type or classically attractive or they really want to target girls much hotter than them. If you are in this category you want to take the guys who push the whole passive game then be "masculine" and just escalate and not worry about "pickup tricks" with a grain of salt- building attraction is really important for the girls you really want.

Another thing to end on. There's this whole thing about "think of yourself as the prize not the girl". While I do think that idea has a lot of merit, as a lot of guys overvalue girls and don't value themselves enough, ultimately I end up not thinking completely like this. In the end the reason why I do pickup and approach a ton(and girls don't) is because I believe girls are the prize. To me what's important is thinking despite the girl being the prize I'm really confident in myself, I've got nothing to prove, I've got abundance mentality and all the rest, so I don't act needy automatically.

The subtle difference seemed important for me as taking thinking of myself as the prize at face value produced quite a lot of cognitive dissonance- why the fuck was I approaching like a dog if I was the prize? I find it's much better to recognise reality but still feel good about myself regardless. Being congurent is really important in game that if you don't have it you've got to fake it, but I'm at the point where I'm not going to bother doing all that because it works to just be myself.

To be honest, I don't recall even a single girl who I converted from a NO or MAYBE into a YES.
I might have converted them into going on a date with me, but if there wasn't any spark or clear interest from the girl's side right off the bat, it was doomed to fail.
And believe me I've tried.

The theory is that the girls who are 1-2 points below you will most of the time not give you a hard time and will show interest. You can have an abundance of those, and pick those who are most in to you. You'll go on a date with them and without the need to demonstrate too much value or make any real effort, if you won't bang them then at least you'll earn a second date in which you probably will.

I struggle nowadays to bang girls who are at my level or above. It seems like I'm getting the same attitude from them as I was getting a few years ago from the 6's, and I'm traveling now in Latin America. In my country it is almost impossible as there aren't many of them available out there, or open to meeting random men.
I am not sure where to to take this. Whether I need to game harder or make myself a better man so overall I'll be 2 points above them not just in looks.
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#3

The importance of calibration(Yes/Maybe/No girls)

I'm no machine gun street approach, but this advice holds for all game and interactions with women:

Don't waste your time with no or maybe girls.

Put that effort you want to waste into converting a no or maybe girl into 1) a better you 2) finding better yes women.

That opinion maybe because I am getting older and lazier, but maybe because its wisdom.
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