Quote: (12-01-2017 01:43 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:I agree with the jealousy part, that's something Ill start implementing.
Ok. I have learned that there is a good way and a bad way to express jealousy. Do not come across as controlling or untrusting... ever. When a woman says she wants you to be jealous what she really means is that she wants to see you act PROTECTIVE. That means pushing off competitive males. If a guy comes up to buy your girl a drink, tell him to shove off. If a guy comes up to buy your girl a drink and you act aloof... she is going to feel like you just don't give a shit... like you are not willing to stand up to another guy for her... like she isn't worth your effort. Does that make sense?
See, when women say something you honestly need to translate it, because most of them don't understand how they are feeling, they just know they feel it. So it's like Kaotic said... "no emotional connection" could mean a ton of different things. I tend to come across as cold and aloof as well. In my experience women typically mean that they are feeling I lack passion. I spent years trying to figure out what created that "passionate" feeling in a woman. My guess is that you just need to show a woman your passionate side, and if you are like me and don't have one... then learn to fake it.
Regarding showing vulnerability, you can do this many ways, some will turn her on and some will turn her off. I don't suggest doing this until you are deep into a relationship.
Quote: (12-01-2017 04:53 PM)Eugenics Wrote:
Show vulnerability. If it's real it will be harder and it gives you less control, if it's fake you will have a hard time being congruent but if it's exploited there's no real consequence.
Part of that is taking emotional risks. Like introducing a girl to family, saying I love you, going out of your way to show how much you care. Don't simp out and like playcate or be the guy that puts out all the effort and doesn't get anything in return, but take risks that could hurt your ego or at least make it seem like it. Wait for her reciprocate then up the anty, escalate it.
All of this is good for bonding which is what these girls mean when they say "emotional connection" or "chemistry" or whatever else trite womanese phrase they for their inability to love someone on an emotional level but know they should on a logical level.
Also, one of the best ways to bond with someone is to survive dangerous or difficult situations. Manufacture some of those. Take a girl out at 2AM and walk through some allys in q sketch part of town and comment on some of the more sketch characters that pas(be safe, bring a gun). Go on an outdoor sex adventure where you treaspass and fuck on a rooftop or somewhere you shouldn't. Make your girls try new stuff with you.
I'll revisit this thread later and type out some more good bonding experiences but I bet you get the idea. I think being stoic is a powerful mindset to have in life but it doesn't lend itself to direct emotional engagement very well and that's what these women felt were lacking. Being a man you should control your emotions to the best of your ability but sometimes it is advantageous to have them and show them. This is probably one of those few times.
And if you're lucky and can't genuinely feel emotions, learn to fake it.
I guess part of it is the committment required. I just never do social media, parents, etc. cuz I have a lot of girls and it'll just mess things up dedicating to one. I think when I find the right girl, that's just how its gotta be. This should be an easy fix once Im willing to put the effort into a girl im sure.
I agree with bonding experiences. I was trying to do a trip with some of the girls to go somewhere since traveling is my passion and also very strong for bonding experiences. It's just hard to coordinate it on the women's ends since they aren't location independent. I think I'll just have to push harder to get these bonding expereiences in then even if locally.
Quote: (12-02-2017 10:39 AM)Hypno Wrote:I like that positive attitude. Hopefully I can remember to actively do it.
Some good advice above on ZFG attitude, but emotional connection is a skill that has a time and a place. A lot of women who didn't like my level of commitment gave me that line to make themselves feel better.
On the other hand, there were relationships I had that failed because of a poor emotional connection.
Dale Carnegie recommended developing an interest in others. Practice this with people you meet, a security guard, uber driver, someone at your office. Try to discover new facts about them in every interaction. There is a book from the 70s called Thinking Big which is a great book on its own that discusses this concept. For example, if you are going to a job interview, practice being friendly with everyone you meet, driver receptionist, strangers in the elevator, even before you get there. It creates positive mental energy and momentum.
Quote: (12-02-2017 10:40 AM)XXL Wrote:Good response man, it helps. I did a dance class with #4....I rotated...I didn't want to but didn't make a big deal out of it. I should have.
Seems like those girls who dumped you did not feel that you were actually together. Meaning you were distant to them.
You probably treated them like long term fuck buddies.
Example.. she did some dumb shit that meant to imply there is some other guy on her radar and you ignored it completely as if she was same night lay bitch ready to be released to the wild the next day. That ignorance showed her that you didn't give a flying fuck if she cheats or not.
I know that to you it's OK to brush it off and you are right cause you are guy. However she felt like an object. A pencil at best. She thought.. he doesn't caaaare. This is how you get a girl (playing prize) not how to keep her.
To keep her it's best to be possessive selfish asshole who wants to OWN her on every level. Straight up. It is kind of stupid but the love it.
Examples..
Dance classes. I tried it with my girl. During classes we suppose to change partners to practise with different people. I didnt want to. I told her she's dancing with me only I'm not sharing her point blank period. She was sooooo impressed and excited.
Sex. Best orgasms I've seen were where I went full nuts and vocal about owning her.. how she's mine how I own her how she cannot do shit without my approval how only I can touch her how useless she is without me how I will punish her if she messes up etc. Total possession mode. She was in heaven.
Decision making. I told her I want her to consult with me on every decision she makes. Out of care of course. Now she cannot dress up without asking me if I like what she picked or even asking me what I want her to wear.
In short I made her MINE. She is not a girl she is mine girl. That's how she feels I'm emotionally connected. Basically she is dominated under my conytol and fucking loves it. I'm also good for her I solve her problems and try to gelp her even with dumb shit she comes up with or cannot handle.
That's what I would recommend to you.
Quote: (12-03-2017 04:05 AM)fitness2569 Wrote:Yeah I think this goes along with XXL's response
Totally agree with Hank, being masculine is the most important thing . You need to be that oak tree in her life . Unwavering to her constant change of emotions. Especially if you aren't a natural emotional/high drama guy like me, and you try to act that way just to keep her then your frame will never be congruent and you will eventually lose her. Like Roosh stated , 1.) Learn game. 2.) Work to be location independent. 3.) Work to be persistent throughout your entire life. Then move to a country where traditional marriage is still praised. Instead of worrying about forcing emotional connection. Do what the fuck you want when you want and that alone will give the woman the drama she "craves". Don't drive your self crazy trying to build emotional connections with women who aren't emotionally connected with themselves
Quote: (12-03-2017 02:48 PM)questor70 Wrote:Interesting video. I actually sent it to some of the girls I talked about to get their thoughts. Im curious what they will respond with haha. And agreed, dogs are really hurting us in the long run lol
What I find most difficult is the sort of smalltalk and clowning around that is the most effective with casual dating when neither side wants to really reveal their true self. I think the above is a dance that women fall into by default when what they are really hoping for is a magic blend of alpha and beta qualities.
This recent Red Pill interviews video demonstrates the dichotomy very clearly:
I think what women want as far as emotional connection is mostly a one-way street. They want a guy to use as an emotional-tampon, but they don't want him to show vulnerability himself. They also don't want their arm twisted to execute this or that self-help advice. They mostly want you to just sit there and nod your head and seem engaged and after they've vented they'll be happy to let you drown their troubles with F'ing.
Most people, both genders, are on sort of a life-long quest to answer some serious questions about life, the universe, and everything. You don't have to be on some dysfunctional psychological spectrum to have deep unanswered questions, so existential that you reserve it for post-bang afterglow talk.
I find the most difficult women to engage deeply are the ones who seem to have their sh*t together. I think so much of the need for companionship is driven out of some deep-seated insecurity or void that the more well-adjusted women seem like they'd be just as happy settling for pets and a vibrator.
Some degree of angst or restlessness is what makes people dynamic, evolving creatures. When they come across like they feel like they already have all the answers or lack introspection or curiosity in the first place they are boring to me.
