[Treatmentgroup]

So I don't know what it was.


1. Maybe because I was wanking furiously recently and I drained myself out.


2. Perhaps alcohol has the opposite effect of an aphrodisiac on me.


3. Also they fed me these pills at this mental institution, and while I was there I had no desire or morning wood. I thought it was because of the setting. But after I left I couldn't get an erection for two months. After that my dick recovered and I was able to get an erection and wank normally.. but is it completely the same? I'm not sure. (Also this was 2-3 years ago).



I met this girl through daygame today, we went to a bar and then to her apartment. She was a 6.5 - 7 out of 10, lovely girl. We were making out at the bar and her apartment. We took our clothes off but I couldn't get it up.


She said ''you're 23, that's really bad'' (I'm actually 26, but that's still bad).

and she also said ''that's sad''.


She also said ''Don't worry I wont tell anybody'' and ''it's bad for my confidence''. and ''I never had to work this hard for it''.

She rubbed/patted my back before I left. She's 29-30 (30 years old).


The two other times I had sex were with escorts, and though it took a minute or two to get it up, I did get it up and I was able to have a good time.


As I said I have been wanking furiously recently, but I checked my internet history and it says the last porno I watched was yesterday... but STILL I have been wanking furiosly recently.


Any tips so this doesn't happen again?



Thank you.

[torridon747]

Anti-depressants fuck with your labido in a big way. Porn fucks with your ability to see average looking girls as hot, sexy, and fuckable.

Alcohol also fucks with my ability to maintain solid erections after being a little too fucked up (5+ stiff drinks in 2 hours).

There's some obvious contributing factors here, look into them, fix them. Also fuck that hoe, bitch doesn't know shit

[Treatmentgroup]

(11-18-2017 08:50 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

Anti-depressants fuck with your labido in a big way. Porn fucks with your ability to see average looking girls as hot, sexy, and fuckable.

Alcohol also fucks with my ability to maintain solid erections after being a little too fucked up (5+ stiff drinks in 2 hours).

There's some obvious contributing factors here, look into them, fix them. Also fuck that hoe, bitch doesn't know shit

Thanks man, I appreciate the pep talk.

[kosko]

Porn+SSRIs+liqour = Boner kryptonite

Yeah a 30 year old woman is going to laugh at that. She has enough sexual experience and it's a low key diss to her as she perceives your inability to get wood as directly correlated to her looks.

[Steelex]

Brother I don't care if you watch porn or not, you should be able to pop wood if needed.
.
The game isn't for everyone.

[Vaun]

Its simple, she just didn't turn you on. I am convinced this is why for some women we have raging hard ons, and others we do not. And she knew that. If you wanted to fuck with her after she tried to insult you, you could have just said 'oh well', put your pants back on and left without saying anything.

You can blame yourself, your "poor sleep" or mild drinking or whatever else you want to blame it on, but the fact is, some women, even if they look ok at first, wont turn you on. The notion that men get hard when the wind blows is false, its easy to be turned off by someone you have no chemistry with. Dont beat yourself up over it.

[Going strong]

Dude, if "wanking furiously" is detrimental to your well-being and performances, try wanking suavely.

Fury after all, is for Furyans.

[Cane Toad]

Viagra

[not_dead_yet]

Tend to agree with Vaun here.

I was using Cialis to get myself through a rough patch in terms of performance. Mysteriously enough, that rough patch went away when I started dating an 18 year old.

I also believe that the community has settled on the ONS as the Holy Grail of pickup. Let's be honest - ONS isn't for everyone, me included. Maybe slow things down with the next girl. Probably can't salvage this one.

[kosko]

(11-18-2017 09:55 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Its simple, she just didn't turn you on. I am convinced this is why for some women we have raging hard ons, and others we do not. And she knew that. If you wanted to fuck with her after she tried to insult you, you could have just said 'oh well', put your pants back on and left without saying anything.

You can blame yourself, your "poor sleep" or mild drinking or whatever else you want to blame it on, but the fact is, some women, even if they look ok at first, wont turn you on. The notion that men get hard when the wind blows is false, its easy to be turned off by someone you have no chemistry with. Dont beat yourself up over it.

This may be true, but OP has major issues that do impact boners. The brief time I was on SSRIs way back it felt like my dick was dead. I couldn't get it up for porn or anything. Maybe one boner every few days and it was a weak one.

[Vaun]

(11-19-2017 08:14 AM)kosko Wrote:  

(11-18-2017 09:55 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Its simple, she just didn't turn you on. I am convinced this is why for some women we have raging hard ons, and others we do not. And she knew that. If you wanted to fuck with her after she tried to insult you, you could have just said 'oh well', put your pants back on and left without saying anything.

You can blame yourself, your "poor sleep" or mild drinking or whatever else you want to blame it on, but the fact is, some women, even if they look ok at first, wont turn you on. The notion that men get hard when the wind blows is false, its easy to be turned off by someone you have no chemistry with. Dont beat yourself up over it.

This may be true, but OP has major issues that do impact boners. The brief time I was on SSRIs way back it felt like my dick was dead. I couldn't get it up for porn or anything. Maybe one boner every few days and it was a weak one.

While I completely agree with you, when I was his age I can guarantee you, whatever he is consuming now, SSRI's included, I tripled that. Not to get all Little Dark on you, but I toured with the Grateful Dead, if that gives you any idea. Fortunately I stopped almost 20 years ago.

When I tried an SSRI, Paxil, (after a break up.....), I could still get it up, but could not ejaculate. It was like being in a prison. So I can completely relate. I was 25, it was horrible. I worked through the issues I was having and got off the meds. You could say my game pursuits were a reaction to this event in my life so long ago. Even though I recently had an event nearly as powerful.

OP, if you are getting prescribed this medication from health professionals, follow your doctors instructions and stay on your medication. But having an experience like this can open your eyes to how important it is to taking ownership, and control, or your own health, and outcomes.

Its good for you to recognize what may be impacting your sexual health, the medication, sleep, and whatever else. Obviously, working through your health issues first, with professionals, as it sounds like you are now, is your path to optimum health. Stay on your path, and realize this may be a longer term play. But its not a life sentence. And longer term could be just six months, which is nothing, you could stand on your head longer. Just do the work and dont take the easy way out. Some of us have been there.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

If she's hot enough, they will come.

[Adonis]

(11-18-2017 09:55 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Its simple, she just didn't turn you on. I am convinced this is why for some women we have raging hard ons, and others we do not. And she knew that. If you wanted to fuck with her after she tried to insult you, you could have just said 'oh well', put your pants back on and left without saying anything.

You can blame yourself, your "poor sleep" or mild drinking or whatever else you want to blame it on, but the fact is, some women, even if they look ok at first, wont turn you on. The notion that men get hard when the wind blows is false, its easy to be turned off by someone you have no chemistry with. Dont beat yourself up over it.

Co-sign this 100% as I went through something similar. Met a chick last year (same age as yours OP early 30's), she had a banging body and was a lot of fun to hang out with but she was just fucking dead inside. Horrible kisser. Just zero passion or desire and I couldn't get it up either and it freaked me the fuck out since I had been banging mid 20's girls exclusively with no problems. I started self diagnosing myself with ED, venous leakage, and bunch of other craziness. It was really too bad because she sucked a mean dick and rode it like a champ, it was just everything up until then she straight up turned me off. Met another who's 26 and as soon as we start making out I get hard, go figure.

The boner test is real.

[Seth_Rose]

OP I've been there man--it sucks. Like some other guys are saying, at your age it is more likely psychological than physiological. But it is more than just the girl was not hot enough. You're in your head too much and overthinking things. This creates a vicious cycle where getting hard for sex is difficult. The best way to get over this is to find a girl who is willing to accommodate you. This is what I did with my first girlfriend. I tried to bang a few times, it didn't get hard the first two times, but third time was the charm. The girl you mentioned certainly won't be this accommodating so just find another girl, preferably a younger one with not much experience. After trying to bang her 3-4 times eventually it will work. Fuck her for a few weeks or months then parlay that into other girls. Since you will be able to get it up for her you will more than likely get it up for other girls.

Cialis or Viagra may help in the meantime, but not necessary.

[Random_Bloke]

my first message i hope i can help
i had the same problem, it turned out that my donger just didn't like that girl, even if i was into her.
what still helped with her was to drink celery juice (i added ginger, pomegranate, and other fruits to make the test bearable)
also, cock rings. they did wanders for me, especially those harder ones, that held my my erection for longer, and i am quite sure they also made my dick wider, more fat, and maybe even a little bit longer. but this is subjective. also, cut down the porn, jerk it more rarely, and use your fantasy. with other girls it works better. also it seems when i am in an LTR, i get used to that girl, and the dick doesn't seem to like new girls for a while.

[travolta]

it's most likely you being nervous. It's been a long time since you've had sex and you didn't want to fuck it up. It happens to the best of us. I doubt it's because "she wasn't hot enough" (unless she was ugly/fat, then maybe that's it).

[cascadecombo]

classic case of whiskey dick.

[BadgerHut]

Pump some iron. Weight work (esp squats) raises your T and cured my buddy's short-term ED. If you can't get to a gym, do 2-3 sets of air squats and push-ups.

[Savemham Lincoln]

Sounds like Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Many people have suffered that and came right after quitting porn and solo sex. Head over to the Life section and check out the NoPorn/NoFap thread.

[JayMillz]

Even though you are still pretty young, keep tabs on your hormones and do your research. Everyone’s body and mind is different so while some generalizations can be made, be sure to focus in on your individual situation. According to some, more and more young guys are experiencing ED. There are various theories out there that include everything from too much porn to what animals are fed that eventually gets into your system.

[youngblazer]

stay away from women that are older than you. your brain might be telling you they're "hot" but your body doesn't agree

[EmotionalGeek]

I had similar problem:
1. overworked.
2. to much porn
3. alcohol

I was not able to get it up. Few weeks later we were fucking like rabbits. But generally it took me long time to get better. I stopped to watch porn. I took some vacation and I do not drink if I want to fuck.

[RatInTheWoods]

Stop porn and wanking
Get a hotter girl
stay off the booze night of the bang
Get comfortable with her first

[Gorgonzola]

I think Vaughn nailed it (no pun intended) I had a failure to launch with a younger slut one time. Turns out I had a bunch of shit on my mind and quite frankly she annoyed me and I couldn’t get into it (despite the 15 year age difference) Could be a number of things. Also happened to a younger buddy of mine. He smashes a new tinder slut every couple of weeks and had a similar experience w a thot he really didn’t care for. He was suicidal for a week or two but redeemed himself next time he was at bat. Unless your early in your notch count I feel that I need to be more than just physically attracted in some way. Not always, but it’s more important as an older bro. You’ll be fine man.

[bantersmyth]

Can relate. I boned a tinder slut on Saturday and experienced a similar thing (now I did jerk off about an hour before she arrived, so I think that had something to do with it).

This chick literally delivered herself to my front door at 3am, first time we'd ever met in person. We fucked 15 minutes after meeting. Half an hour in I lost my wood. I just wasn't into it, and I couldn't stop thinking about how huge a slut she is. We exchanged maybe 10 messages before she came to a complete stranger's apt... way too easy IMHO. We took a break we talked and chilled, and lo and behold the boner showed up (my dick wasn't gonna leave pussy on the table) and we fucked some more. Still couldn't finish though (faked it).

Shit happens.

I've taken this as a sign to raise my standards (if she was hot enough, there wouldn't have been any issues), get back in the gym and to meditating and finally cut back on porn consumption. I'd suggest the same for you as well.

Also, taking the red pill means accepting the world the way it is, not how you want it to be. Rollo talks about killing the inner beta in one of his posts. Don't let her words affect you... from what you've written it's clear she was lashing out at you because she felt bad about her inability to illicit her desired response (a stiffy) from you.

In my case, killing inner beta is about getting rid of this morality that I've attached to sex.