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Marriage (or LTR): Why?
10-29-2017, 11:21 PM
I suspect a lot of the failure of the Western Marriage Institution has to do with marrying for love.
Love doesn't mean she's a good mom.
Love doesn't mean her family is good and will stick it through.
Love doesn't mean she's in it for the long haul.
Love doesn't mean you're magically ready for all the things that come with having a family.
I know that not everything can be boiled down to making rational choices. I'm not that naive, but it would seem to me that marrying strictly because you love someone is sort of silly. I hope that doesn't come across as strange, but it's almost a non-sequitur to me:
"I'm getting married because I love her."
She might be a wonderful person, but you really can't base big, life-changing decisions on love alone.
I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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10-30-2017, 12:11 PM
I'm wary of love, it has been the central subject of most of mankind's creative output since the dawn of history but not even the most poetical and passionate description can truly convey what it is until it has been experienced.
I would also fail in attempting to describe it, but there is something about having been long enough with a person, when you both know how each other's farts smell and what glaring imperfections make up each other but can still look at each other's faces and experiment a pleasant sensation of reciprocal affection and respect that is sublime in its simplicity and objective irrelevance.
Then again, should this fade, as it very likely could,the pain would be tremendous...
But wouldn't we be all poorer for having never known it?
We move between light and shadow, mutually influencing and being influenced through shades of gray...
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Marriage (or LTR): Why?
10-30-2017, 01:22 PM
Love is another confused term in the west, packaged and sold as described above. It really means a whole bunch of things all at once, but mostly it means sacrifice: something materialist westerners who are self centered aren't particularly good at. Thus, what we see.
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10-30-2017, 01:25 PM
Quote: (10-30-2017 01:22 PM)Kid Twist Wrote:
but mostly it means sacrifice
That is one of the best approximations I've known to-date!!!!
We move between light and shadow, mutually influencing and being influenced through shades of gray...
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Marriage (or LTR): Why?
10-30-2017, 01:48 PM
The issue that the west has with love vs real life is a simple matter of having put individual rights and that dreaded word--"agency"--on a pedestal. Who you marry is up to your feelings (well actually your wife's feelings) rather than economic or psychological sense. In any functioning dynamic the man should learn some skill that ensures his income, then hang out with a few girls and see which ones are interested in him. Then he should audit her and her family, consult his parents and elders on whether their personalities and lifestyles are compatible, and then decide whether to marry her. If they carried out these steps properly, and assuming the people they consulted had their best interests at heart, chances are that even if they didn't love each other at first they will develop love over time if only out of practical necessity. If they're lucky they might even really understand each other; if not, then at least they can get along without major conflict while still enjoying the securities and basic comforts of marriage.
This process is fundamentally unromantic but it is simple and I have seen it work many times. On the other hand I have seen tons of couples that were totally head-over-heels in love with each other fall apart and end in tears once reality--usually it manifests in laughably mundane personal habits and small quirks--hits home.
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Marriage (or LTR): Why?
11-08-2017, 01:59 PM
Investment bro that's the dream. The question is when you are 40+ can you continue this indefinitely? I've has 3 It's tough to find women that are open to this, unless in SEA, an even then you probably just gotta lie to them.