Hoping for some feedback on my situation. Been dating a girl for about 2 months now. I'm recently trp enlightened and trying to make sure I practice it with this girl and avoid falling in to old beta ways. Honestly I'm not one to spin plates, it's just not me. We've had the exclusive conversation and she considers me her boyfriend at this point. I've really made a point of trying to maintain frame though and I think I've done a good job. She regularly calls me an ass or a dick because I don't cave to her expectations. I also call her out for doing things I disapprove of to which she sincerely apologizes for. I've introduced her to punishment spanking when she acts out and I'm slowly introducing daddy game. I've been very clear about what I will and won't tolerate in a relationship as well. The main point, last night at dinner she makes a comment about how good I am to her and how I basically treat her like a princess. This really surprised me and threw me off. I didn't respond to it or address it we just moved on in the convo. My concern is, by being nice in general is she going to see me as beta even if I am maintaining frame? I feel like I'm doing a good job balancing frame and comfort game but would like some second opinions. Thanks.
Being nice vs beta
What do you mean by being nice? As in some specific examples.
Read about the difference between the masculine and feminine. Specifically , how the femenine speaks of how she feels in the moment. It’s non-logical. It’s a storm and you’re the island in the middle of it. That’s the femenine and her being all over the place mentally is probably what you are sexually attracted to — masculine and femenine tension.
Quote: (10-26-2017 11:02 AM)Conclusion013 Wrote:
Hoping for some feedback on my situation. Been dating a girl for about 2 months now. I'm recently trp enlightened and trying to make sure I practice it with this girl and avoid falling in to old beta ways. Honestly I'm not one to spin plates, it's just not me. We've had the exclusive conversation and she considers me her boyfriend at this point. I've really made a point of trying to maintain frame though and I think I've done a good job. She regularly calls me an ass or a dick because I don't cave to her expectations. I also call her out for doing things I disapprove of to which she sincerely apologizes for. I've introduced her to punishment spanking when she acts out and I'm slowly introducing daddy game. I've been very clear about what I will and won't tolerate in a relationship as well. The main point, last night at dinner she makes a comment about how good I am to her and how I basically treat her like a princess. This really surprised me and threw me off. I didn't respond to it or address it we just moved on in the convo. My concern is, by being nice in general is she going to see me as beta even if I am maintaining frame? I feel like I'm doing a good job balancing frame and comfort game but would like some second opinions. Thanks.
It was meant to be a compliment; princesses like to be spanked. Really I feel she's telling how much she appreciates your authority and is letting you know that you're doing a good job.
She wasn't complaining was she?
You are applying logic to an illogical creature.
The easiest way to measure how you're doing is stick your hands down her pants. Is her pussy wet? If so, then you're doing something right.
The easiest way to measure how you're doing is stick your hands down her pants. Is her pussy wet? If so, then you're doing something right.
"Once you've gotten the lay you have won."- Mufasa
"You Miss 100% of the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky
Quote: (10-26-2017 11:02 AM)Conclusion013 Wrote:
My concern is, by being nice in general is she going to see me as beta even if I am maintaining frame?
Women never stop with their shit testing...even when you're married. I guess you can be nice and say it's biological and they can't do anything to prevent it. Or, you can be a dick and say they have no justice or compassion. Either way, it doesn't change the basic fact: women are addicted to drama.
Yes, she will see you as beta for periodically being nice. But then she will give you an opportunity to "win her back" by putting her in her place. So as long as you rise to the occasion and maintain your masculine spine, then you have passed the test.
On a side note, it's good that you are implementing the punishment spanking. Eventually though, this fades away into the day-to-day affairs of a relationship (particularly if you have children with her). So it's hard to keep this up over the long haul. Thankfully, the wall approaches all women and they become less addicted to shit-testing when they realize they have crows feet or a turkey neck.
"Action still preserves for us a hope that we may stand erect." - Thucydides (from History of the Peloponnesian War)
Don't be nice. Be an asshole. Chicks dig that. As long as you are not physically hurting her, you're good.
And don't listen to some of the advice you're getting.
It doesn't matter if you're being an "asshole" or not. What matters is that you're doing what you do because you damn well feel like it, and not because you feel like you need to behave that way in order for a chick to like you. Ignore that advice and you'll come off as either a clingy "nice guy" or an insecure poser depending what specifically you did.
It doesn't matter if you're being an "asshole" or not. What matters is that you're doing what you do because you damn well feel like it, and not because you feel like you need to behave that way in order for a chick to like you. Ignore that advice and you'll come off as either a clingy "nice guy" or an insecure poser depending what specifically you did.
Adding to that, it's entirely possible to be a "good guy" without being nice. Sometimes you gotta check people you care about for their own good or for the good of your relationship with them and that' no different with women.
Don't overthink it, TRP is not some manual with hard and fast rules you have to adhere to. Stop trying to overanalyze every little thing she says or does. Focus on the core principles which essentially boil down to:
1) Have a fuckin spine, and keep your dignity
2) Never beg for pussy, you're good enough and if she doesn't easily see it, move on
The rest is all common sense, ie, take care of yourself, work on your health + career, have worthwhile goals and work towards them, build confidence + self-esteem etc... the kind of things our grandparents would advise us about lol
Just have to take it to heart and seriously start acting on it, the rest will follow
1) Have a fuckin spine, and keep your dignity
2) Never beg for pussy, you're good enough and if she doesn't easily see it, move on
The rest is all common sense, ie, take care of yourself, work on your health + career, have worthwhile goals and work towards them, build confidence + self-esteem etc... the kind of things our grandparents would advise us about lol
Just have to take it to heart and seriously start acting on it, the rest will follow
Pussy ain't for pussies...
Thanks for all the replies, really love this forum. I'm definitely an analytical person so tough to not over think some of this stuff.
I'm not really sure what I'm doing that's coming across as so nice but she keeps saying "thank you for being so good to me". I'm pretty laid back and easy going, she can get worked up sometimes over stupid shit aka she's a woman and I just maintain composure. I think her ex would freak out at her over dumb stuff and maybe that's why. Yes she did mean it as a compliment, and I'm definitely keeping the pussy wet.
I'm not really sure what I'm doing that's coming across as so nice but she keeps saying "thank you for being so good to me". I'm pretty laid back and easy going, she can get worked up sometimes over stupid shit aka she's a woman and I just maintain composure. I think her ex would freak out at her over dumb stuff and maybe that's why. Yes she did mean it as a compliment, and I'm definitely keeping the pussy wet.
She likes that you're being a man.
Does she think that you have other options? By the sounds of the limited situation you've given, she may be thinking that she's all you could ever have and therefore is getting a bit comfortable.
How does she react if you flirt a bit with other girls - even a waitress - in front of her? If caught, do you immediately apologize or shrug your shoulders and act like it's no big deal? She might need a bit of dread game.
How does she react if you flirt a bit with other girls - even a waitress - in front of her? If caught, do you immediately apologize or shrug your shoulders and act like it's no big deal? She might need a bit of dread game.
I work at a hospital and I've already told her it's full of slutty nurses who sleep around. I think she's comfortable but I also think she knows I have other options and won't hesitate to drop her if she wastes my time. The last girl I was dating texted me last week trying to reconnect and I told her, so I feel like I'm presenting good smv.
Sounds like you are doing great. You are allowing her to be a part of your life and your world. That is good of you. You are requiring that the people in your life suit your needs or get on down the road. That is good of you. You are holding her to a high standard. That is good of you. You are in control of yourself and your relationship. That is good of you. I think that is what she means when she says that you are so good to her.
It's not beta to get with an awesome girl and be the man of the relationship. Having strong frame and being a strong male doesn't mean you can't be nice, a provider and even faithful if that's what fulfills you.
http://www.rooshv.com/dating-doesnt-work
http://www.returnofkings.com/131813/the-...oral-woman
My concern is this: Is she calling you a dick or an ass in private? That is maybe ok but never in front of others. It's best to not allow it at all. If she gets used to it in private eventually it will spill out. In her own mind it's fun and playful but it's not. Spanking is not the solution to that behavior, nexting is.
^ Yep
^ Yep
^ Yep
It's not beta to get with an awesome girl and be the man of the relationship. Having strong frame and being a strong male doesn't mean you can't be nice, a provider and even faithful if that's what fulfills you.
http://www.rooshv.com/dating-doesnt-work
http://www.returnofkings.com/131813/the-...oral-woman
My concern is this: Is she calling you a dick or an ass in private? That is maybe ok but never in front of others. It's best to not allow it at all. If she gets used to it in private eventually it will spill out. In her own mind it's fun and playful but it's not. Spanking is not the solution to that behavior, nexting is.
Quote: (10-26-2017 03:35 PM)Striking Wrote:
Quote: (10-26-2017 11:02 AM)Conclusion013 Wrote:
It was meant to be a compliment; princesses like to be spanked. Really I feel she's telling how much she appreciates your authority and is letting you know that you're doing a good job.
^ Yep
Quote: (10-26-2017 04:48 PM)Easy_C Wrote:
It doesn't matter if you're being an "asshole" or not. What matters is that you're doing what you do because you damn well feel like it, and not because you feel like you need to behave that way in order for a chick to like you.
^ Yep
Quote: (10-26-2017 06:16 PM)goodington Wrote:
She likes that you're being a man.
^ Yep
The difference between being nice and being beta is intent.
Thanks everyone this is really appreciated.
She's definitely not calling me those names in public. It's more of playful name calling, sometimes she'll even punch me while saying it smiling. That being said I've made it clear that if she ever has an issue it better not be brought up in front of other people.
She's definitely not calling me those names in public. It's more of playful name calling, sometimes she'll even punch me while saying it smiling. That being said I've made it clear that if she ever has an issue it better not be brought up in front of other people.
Quote: (10-27-2017 12:53 AM)wi30 Wrote:
The difference between being nice and being beta is intent.
Exactly. Are you being nice because you want to be nice? Or are you being nice because you want to please someone else?
If you are going to impose your will on the world, you must have control over what you believe.
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Your take away from this is that you are being too nice?
My take away from this story is that in your relationship you are playing the spanking as punishment dungeon master while in reality two casual words from the girl send you into a tail spin.
You are acting a role that is not congruent with who you are. I wonder how much at peace and happy you are living this 24h/7.
If that's what you want to be then take the steps to become that man, her reaction isn't what's gonna make you such. Cracks will appear and she will either see through it and despise you or you will become an insecure partner on a constant power Trip.
My take away from this story is that in your relationship you are playing the spanking as punishment dungeon master while in reality two casual words from the girl send you into a tail spin.
You are acting a role that is not congruent with who you are. I wonder how much at peace and happy you are living this 24h/7.
If that's what you want to be then take the steps to become that man, her reaction isn't what's gonna make you such. Cracks will appear and she will either see through it and despise you or you will become an insecure partner on a constant power Trip.
Being nice because I want to be.
Beirut not sure where you get the idea that I'm going in to a tailspin, that's an over reaction to my simple question of clarification. The way I'm acting is definitely congruent with who I am and I'm quite happy. As mentioned in my first post I'm relatively new to TRP but feel it's very congruent to my beleifs. Before this I felt the need to be the typical beta doing what I thought woman wanted and suppressing my natural dominance. Her saying that stuff just made me question if I was falling back in to old habits which is why I asked the community for opinions.
Beirut not sure where you get the idea that I'm going in to a tailspin, that's an over reaction to my simple question of clarification. The way I'm acting is definitely congruent with who I am and I'm quite happy. As mentioned in my first post I'm relatively new to TRP but feel it's very congruent to my beleifs. Before this I felt the need to be the typical beta doing what I thought woman wanted and suppressing my natural dominance. Her saying that stuff just made me question if I was falling back in to old habits which is why I asked the community for opinions.
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