Update:
Sure enough the 20 year old proved crazy. But I did something I’ve never done in the past. My previous self would have hung on despite her craziness and taken whatever table scraps she would throw my way, for lack of other options. Instead, I bluntly rejected her. She tried to manipulate her way back in, and I actually SAW IT (I feel like I have Terminator vision now) and called her out on it.
In the meantime, I have a big glut of girls from online sources to set dates with when I get back in town next week. Unlike before, I now realize many of these will probably flake and therefore I’m going to 1) invite them to something I would be doing anyway 2) invest very little in it. I invested almost nothing in the 20 year old, just hang back and observed. Not only did it make her crazy for me, it also allowed me to screen her for potential issues before getting stuck.
I believe I need to start approaching. I do very little of this. Partly it’s because until recently I lived in rural and suburban areas. In some of these areas, you wouldn’t see one hot girl in even a month, so why not walk around looking like crap when no one will see you. Where I live now, I could definitely approach a girl who is physically up to my standards every couple of days. I could do it with much higher frequency if I went to the bars which are one block away.
However, my logic is if I meet a girl in a bar, it’s likely she likes to go to the bar, and this is not a quality I look for in an LTR nor an activity that I enjoy doing. I would basically be forcing myself to do it in order to meet women.
Being able to work from my phone/laptop, being busy with mostly solitary or male dominated hobbies, and having mostly boring married friends locally is cramping my style as far as having a social circle to pull from.
My self improvement process is getting to the point where the few effeminate, beta-type acquaintances I have from the very distant past are threatened by me and think I’m now a “dee-bag”. Yes, spelled just like that. Must be heading in the right direction.
EDIT: I also stopped therapy, I am in a mentally stronger place now.
Sure enough the 20 year old proved crazy. But I did something I’ve never done in the past. My previous self would have hung on despite her craziness and taken whatever table scraps she would throw my way, for lack of other options. Instead, I bluntly rejected her. She tried to manipulate her way back in, and I actually SAW IT (I feel like I have Terminator vision now) and called her out on it.
In the meantime, I have a big glut of girls from online sources to set dates with when I get back in town next week. Unlike before, I now realize many of these will probably flake and therefore I’m going to 1) invite them to something I would be doing anyway 2) invest very little in it. I invested almost nothing in the 20 year old, just hang back and observed. Not only did it make her crazy for me, it also allowed me to screen her for potential issues before getting stuck.
I believe I need to start approaching. I do very little of this. Partly it’s because until recently I lived in rural and suburban areas. In some of these areas, you wouldn’t see one hot girl in even a month, so why not walk around looking like crap when no one will see you. Where I live now, I could definitely approach a girl who is physically up to my standards every couple of days. I could do it with much higher frequency if I went to the bars which are one block away.
However, my logic is if I meet a girl in a bar, it’s likely she likes to go to the bar, and this is not a quality I look for in an LTR nor an activity that I enjoy doing. I would basically be forcing myself to do it in order to meet women.
Being able to work from my phone/laptop, being busy with mostly solitary or male dominated hobbies, and having mostly boring married friends locally is cramping my style as far as having a social circle to pull from.
My self improvement process is getting to the point where the few effeminate, beta-type acquaintances I have from the very distant past are threatened by me and think I’m now a “dee-bag”. Yes, spelled just like that. Must be heading in the right direction.
EDIT: I also stopped therapy, I am in a mentally stronger place now.
