[_nick_]

I broke up with my first girlfriend, we dated for 5 months. I am 18, and a freshman in college and she's a senior in high school. Honestly I planned on dumping her first week of college but there are not many girls at my school because it is an engineering school. I got to attached and couldn't bring my self to dump her, only to have her dump me a month and a half into school. It was honestly a shock to me because I thought we were doing really well. Stupidly I didn't get what was going on so I kept texting her asking for a reason. I guess she just didn't like me any more which is fine plenty of hot girls at schools around me. I didn't realize how depressed I would get over it. I need to get over it but she still wants to remain in contact. What is the best thing to do, I just want to get over it. Its been two days and I cant stop thinking about her. My school may not have many girls but there are many other colleges touching campuses with mine with plenty of girls. What are some good steps to take to get over it?
Thanks

[Tytalus]

For fucks sake dude, stop texting her and delete her from your phone. She "noped" on you. It's tough, it hurts, but the first step is to destroy any memories of her.

Which of these traits have you been exhibiting?

-Anxiety
-Indecisiveness
-Lack of Planning
-Lack of direction
-Instability
-Moodiness

[_nick_]

I have just been having lack of direction, but I also know I can do good I go to the gym every day and can talk to girls. Im not like awkward with them I just friend zone myself sometimes accidentally.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Get rid of her number.
Work smart in the gym for maximum gains.
Make money.
Stop dating.
Start fucking.
When she comes sniffing back around again, make one of the hardest decisions in your life and reject her.

[LINUX]

Well, You're 18. Love hurts at your age because you have no past experices and the future is unknown because you haven't had enough lessons thus far on your journey. Your brain isn't even fully developed yet and who you are is going to change drastically over the next 7 years. Just enjoy the ride, this will be the first break-up of many more to come.

There is no other advice I have for you because this is something you need to experience in all honesty. I had these same lessons at your age as did many others here. What's going to heal you -- time. That's all that ever heals us -- time and making better memories with better women.

Things don't get easier, we just get accustomed to change over the years because that's what life is, constant change, people are born, people die, cells dissipate as new ones are created , love destroys us and breaks us and then love comes along to heal us.

Give it time and be prepared to suffer. And learn whatever lesson you can from that suffering. Because that's how we grow as men -- through suffering and by making mistakes.

[Sonoma]

Get rid of her # and block her on social media. Don't make a big deal out of it, and if any mutual friends ask about it, just say you've moved on.

It's normal to be bummed about it, but you need to counter that as hard much as possible.

Gym 2 hours a day.
Tinder an hour a day.
Refresh your social media by deleting all photos that have her, and ensure photos of you look top notch.
Avoid anything that'll remind you of her.

If you have any spare time, go to the gym even more, it won't hurt.

Don't be bitter about it either, she did you a favor.

[RatInTheWoods]

Go no contact.

Realise there are billions of women in the world, at least one of them is hotter, sexier and more intersted in you.

Go find her and bang her.

[gework]

Seems like a bit of a disconnect here:

Quote:

I broke up with my first girlfriend

(my first girlfriend broke up with me)

Quote:

I planned on dumping her first week of college

Quote:

I got to attached and couldn't bring my self to dump her

Quote:

only to have her dump me a month and a half into school.

Quote:

It was honestly a shock to me because I thought we were doing really well

If you were planning on dumping her, it wasn't going that well.

There isn't much point in asking a girl why she got rid of you, she will likely sugar coat it to avoid hurting you more. I would go with the above advice and cut off communication. The reason she has dumped you is she thinks she can do better. If she thought you were the best she can get, she would have kept you.

Getting your act together with your direction is key. I know many people 10+ years older than you who never decided on any direction and just floated through life taking what morsels floated their way. They are utterly miserable and tend to have an aggressive attitude masking deep jealousy and hatred of those who have what they will ever have, things they had to fight for. I didn't really get any direction in any area until I was about 25 or 26 and the cost has been I don't have anywhere as much wealth as I should do. The same in the women department, but a later starting age.

Treat it as a learning experience and enjoy the trials and tribulations. Enjoy the pain. There are so many zeta-males out there who would die to have the the privilege of being dumped.

Find out what you want in terms of your future career, relationships with women, your body, your wardrobe, your friendships. Set your goals and keep moving towards them without constantly stopping and questioning yourself, doubting, caring what others might think of you. You may fail, or fall short, or have lopsided results; but if you've achieved 25% of your goals, that will probably be better than most people who don't know what they are doing.

This is a good program to find out more about who you are and set your goals: https://www.selfauthoring.com/

[_nick_]

I blocked her on snapchat and texting, she wanted to return to being friends but I dont have a use for her as a friend. Also deleted all pictures on social media, made it almost like we never dated. Cant wait to figure out college game now!

[_nick_]

Would tinder be a good idea? Would just need to get some pictures

[gework]

(10-22-2017 12:18 PM)_nick_ Wrote:  

Would tinder be a good idea? Would just need to get some pictures

Online isn't particularly kind to men in the West, unless you are in the top few percent of attractive and have good photos; and then you will mostly be contacted by women in the bottom 33% of attractiveness.

But it's a place to start:

thread-45167.html

For your profile, making it exciting seems to work best and will probably attract the type of girl you are looking for:

thread-32589.html
thread-43591.html

[RatInTheWoods]

Well done Nick, don't fall for the "friends" angle - you end up her emotional tampon with no bang for compensation.

Complete cut off, you never existed is the way to go.

Onwards and upwards!

[astro]

I am twice your age. You should be thankful you've come across this community at such an early age. Look at the archives, use the search, and focus on yourself. You'll be fine.

[_nick_]

I probably never would have gotten a girlfriend if I didn't find this forum. The no contact rule is already working good I have spent a lot less time thinking about her and a lot more time thinking about new girls to fuck. Thinking of her in a bad way is also helping a lot, plus I'm free to due what I want now.

[Baphomet]

(10-23-2017 08:45 AM)_nick_ Wrote:  

The no contact rule is already working good I have spent a lot less time thinking about her and a lot more time thinking about new girls to fuck. Thinking of her in a bad way is also helping a lot, plus I'm free to due what I want now.

No. That means she living rent free in your head.

BLOCK her on every method of communication that you have and delete all information from your phone, laptop, whatever. Channel all your efforts into improving yourself for a while until you get your emotional balance back in tune. Your game will be off until you do.

[_nick_]

Going to a big Halloween party this weekend any tips on costume ideas? Also any advice for college party's it will be my first real one.

[Beyond Borders]

God, I remember getting dumped when I was 17 by some hot little blonde I was "engaged" to and acting like such a little desperate bitch. I had no lack of options but convinced myself life was over. She was running around with some other guy immediately, if not before she broke up with me. I rolled over to these guys house for a party and she was there kicking it with them in the hot tub and I just acted like it was nothing, but fuck.

It was hard. I won't lie. I was young and had my priorities all fucked up and I cried a lot and acted like some wounded hero in a movie. Now I can even understand why she left me - I was mentally unstable and needy as fuck. But it was lesson learned about women that I never forgot.

And I can at least pride myself that once I realized how scandalous and easy she was, it still may have stung, but I never looked back and was up in some other pussy very shortly.

She called me a few weeks or a month or so later inviting me to come hang out with her at some party.

"Nope."

"BB, what the hell - why can't we at least be friends."

"I don't need any more friends." And I hung up the phone without further explanation.

That was almost twenty years ago and she's married with kids. Still reaches out to me every once in a while. She looks happy (social media) but I'm glad it's not me married to her ass.

If that shit wouldn't have happened, there's hundreds of notches, a ton of great traveling, and some amazing experiences I'd have missed out on.

OP is young so I can't hate him for acting over-dramatic. Two days is nothing. You'll have a lot more shitty days, but consider this just one of life's realities, a lesson every man who missed the memo (most guys missed the memo, especially guys without fathers) and who won't eventually end up being some broad's bitch will have to learn. You'll be a better man for it in the end, and you've still got your entire life ahead of you.

No matter what you do, hold on to your self respect enough that you walk away even if she starts missing you and wants you back.

Focus on yourself. Focus on the future.

It's cliche and hollow when you're really hurting, but time is really the one thing that will make it nothing but a little bump of the past that means essentially nothing in the big scheme of things.

We all get devastated by stupid shit when we're younger. There was a time in your life you probably cried if you skinned your knee - now it's something you barely notice. Same thing with matters of the heart.

At least you have a forum like this at your disposal to point you in the right direction. Most guys have made it through their teens without that, so you'll be fine.

By the way, it's telling that you dumped her before but then got depressed when it was her decision. Most likely what really bothers you is the rejection.

Same thing with the girl I told the story about above. I was actually on the fence about her but then when she rejected me, I doubled down and she became the most important thing in the world.

It's just ego talking. At your age, ego is a mutha.

[_nick_]

Yea its more how she didn't really argue with me when we broke up that made me sad, but that just shows she's not worth it. It sucks but reading this forum has already made me want to get more notches and actually take a step towards becoming more of a "20% man"

[_nick_]

First weekend free at college:
Saturday night party:
Went to a halloween party Saturday night didn't have the best ratio provably was 70% dudes 30% girls. Started off the night with some approaches. First girl was to drunk I didn't want to hook up with her, but made friends with her pretty fast. Second girl I approached and said "Hey whats up i'm nick." She was pretty flirty I used the roosh line next "you must be from" and started flirting more with her. As we started to get touchy I was bout to go in to hook up with her I got cock blocked by her friends boyfriend. She was at the party with two other friends and one friends boy friend. All three of the girls were easily 8s. The friends boyfriend told her they were dancing and took her away. I was pretty pissed. Girl #3 had a boy friend and we were grinding on dance floor and the boyfriend came and yelled at her and took her away. What are the best ways to get rid of cock blocks?

[bgbusiness]

You are on this forum when you are a freshman in college?
And you also had gfs in the past?
You are approaching chicks at parties, getting invited to the parties?

I would say you are 95%+ better than most of the dudes at your age.
I am in my mid 20s, but when I was at your game, I didn't even get to go to parties and I was a virgin who thought that he will never lose his v-card. (After couple notches, your past reality gets crushed...)

I would say that if possible, join a frat, watch some videos online like Real Social Dynamics, read a ton on the forums and also some books on this topic.

You are doing GREAT.
Don't sweat it too much. You are 18. You have 25+ years of dating left.
If you fuck 2 girls each year, that's 50 chicks.
I wouldn't be surprised if you don't graduate with 50+ notches if you read voraciously and keep your game tight.

[_nick_]

So far I have read conquering your campus. I just got to figure out how to minimize cock blocks, my school is a co op school, so its 70% guy 30% girls for the whole school. Lots of schools around me though I just got to do some networking.

[_nick_]

The no contact and all advise worked really well, thanks for help on breakup I have not thought of her for like half a week and look forward to reading and practicing game. I'm having trouble networking with kids from my school as it is a tech school most kids that are on sports teams are in different classes then me. Would it be best to network through the gym?

[_nick_]

Went to party last night, ratio was good but a lot of the girls had boy friends. Most of the kids new each other and were playing beer pong so I went and befriended the "popular guys" at the party. They introduced me to a lot of girls. I had a girl as my partner for beer pong but it turns out she had a boyfriend. Then I found some girl and hooked up with her outside the house. The kid who threw the party came outside and yelled at me for being in the front yard were the neighbors could see me. Huge cock block. Could have hooked up with another girl but I was to drunk. Next time I am not drinking as much. Also need to learn how to reduce cockblocks

[_nick_]

spent the last 3 months focusing on game and school. Joined a frat and have became a lot more confident. Have made out with about 14 girls since the last semester. The house doesn't really have a place to do any thing with girls. What is the best strategy to hook up with them the day after partys?

[Investment Bro]

(02-13-2018 09:30 AM)_nick_ Wrote:  

spent the last 3 months focusing on game and school. Joined a frat and have became a lot more confident. Have made out with about 14 girls since the last semester. The house doesn't really have a place to do any thing with girls. What is the best strategy to hook up with them the day after partys?

Good on you my man. You're well on the road to recovery.

Do you live at your frat house or in an adjacent dorm? At our frat house we had individual bedrooms.

Don't wait until the next day to try to hook up. I made that mistake plenty, and usually the girls were just not feeling it. Get them in bed while their makeup isn't smudged, they aren't sore or sweaty, and they're still feeling sexy.

Lay down a vicious bang and get her to stay over with you. If you do it right, you'll have business again in the morning. Take her out to breakfast afterwards to cover your bases for any rape allegations.