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How do you deal with infatuation
#1

How do you deal with infatuation

You've met a girl, fucked her well and eventually found out that she's also interesting.

She has something special that, of course, doesn't mean that she's the one and only, but still... She is funny, she reads the same books as you, likes your humour, says genuinely interesting stuff - whatever you care about. And just like that, you are infatuated with her.

So now, you've got all these other girls texting you, and girls sucking you off and what not, but she's the one you wanna meet and talk, almost to the point that any interaction with other girls is less exciting and appealing. How do you guys deal with that? How do you deal with the moments in your life when you are infatuated with a specific girl? Do you enjoy it? Do you try to drown it out?

I'm not talking about oneitis per se, because oneitis implies a 'need'. A belief that this is the one and only. I'm also not talking about a girl you haven't fucked it, and I'm not talking about your girlfriend that you put on a pedestal.

Just wondering if you guys think having periods like this is good or bad, and what you do about it.
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#2

How do you deal with infatuation

There is no such thing as the one.

There is no such thing as a true love.

There is no such thing as a soul mate.


Infatuation is another word for oneitis, so yes, you have oneitis.


There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying one girl that you like having around.

Of course you should hangout with her, it's clear she compliments your life.


However, you should slow your roll, and pull back a little bit, make sure she enjoys you just as much as you enjoy her.

Don't hang out or talk to her too much.

I get it, I know you're stoked, you're smiling, you're happy, you're excited, but pump the brakes a little.


Let her give you the "what are we" talk first, don't pull the trigger on anything, but make sure you're the man and lead her.

You've only known her a short time probably, so you need time to vet her, and get to know alot more of her.


As for in the moment, enjoy it, keep fucking her, but don't send any signals yet about a relationship and/or dating.
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#3

How do you deal with infatuation

Just think about all the other cocks she is sucking off when you're not together.

I know, I know. "She really likes you and isn't that type of girl". Maybe she is today, but tomorrow is a new day.

Such is the nature of women.

"Once you've gotten the lay you have won."- Mufasa

"You Miss 100% of the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky
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#4

How do you deal with infatuation

Quote: (09-07-2017 03:23 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

There is no such thing as the one.

There is no such thing as a true love.

There is no such thing as a soul mate.


Infatuation is another word for oneitis, so yes, you have oneitis.


There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying one girl that you like having around.

Of course you should hangout with her, it's clear she compliments your life.


However, you should slow your roll, and pull back a little bit, make sure she enjoys you just as much as you enjoy her.

Don't hang out or talk to her too much.

I get it, I know you're stoked, you're smiling, you're happy, you're excited, but pump the brakes a little.


Let her give you the "what are we" talk first, don't pull the trigger on anything, but make sure you're the man and lead her.

You've only known her a short time probably, so you need time to vet her, and get to know alot more of her.


As for in the moment, enjoy it, keep fucking her, but don't send any signals yet about a relationship and/or dating.

Thanks. Actually what just happened is that I was in that state of infatuation just recently and the girl wanted something more, which I didn't so I ended it. That's why I was wondering... Perhaps I did it prematurely and could have enjoyed it for longer? Managed her expectations better?

But as is, I dealt with any talk of commitment as toxic. Just wondering how to best approach this sort of situation that happens from time to time.
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#5

How do you deal with infatuation

Quote: (09-07-2017 03:39 PM)mensch Wrote:  

Thanks. Actually what just happened is that I was in that state of infatuation just recently and the girl wanted something more, which I didn't so I ended it. That's why I was wondering... Perhaps I did it prematurely and could have enjoyed it for longer? Managed her expectations better?

But as is, I dealt with any talk of commitment as toxic. Just wondering how to best approach this sort of situation that happens from time to time.

That's fine, sometimes it'll even happen to me, but we manage it.

You could've probably milked it a bit more, yes.

You can only milk a fuck buddy for so long until eventually someone catches feelings.

However, I've come to a point in my life that I'm not gonna waste a woman's time if she wants more and I don't.

All the plates I have currently in rotation all know we're just fucking and having a good time. The majority of those plates are 1+ year or more of fucking them.

Commitment isn't toxic, it's the state of mind you're in or how the women you're with which can make it so.
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#6

How do you deal with infatuation

Been thinking about this as well lately. And let's not kid ourselves; the way you phrase your OP implies something akin to a 'oneitis', aka. THAT girl that keeps occupying your thoughts. Especially when you have established abundance.

Right now, I'd ask why fight those feelings?

There's nothing wrong with getting feels - after all they're there for a reason if the girl in question is really "your type" - but be careful on acting on feels before a true relationship is established and defined.

Enjoy it as long as you can keep being the cool guy that initially got her into bed. Drown it out if it makes you want to triple-text her when she hasn't responded to you for 3 hours.

Certain phrases are rehashed here in order to forge and maintain a certain coldness, like "Hoes ain't shit" etc. I don't disagree with them 100% since the have a use, but the fact is that unless you're a stone-cold playa you're going to fall for a girl hard at some point, and hopefully she'll fall for you too.

I say enjoy the ride. It may fade, like love usually does (paraphrasing LINUX). Be grateful that you have it in you to establish and form that kind of connection; you will be richer from the experience.
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#7

How do you deal with infatuation

The minute you can't feel anything, is the minute you are dead. Don't be afraid of your pair bonding ability, celebrate it.

Its how we raise kids that need a decade or more of parental care to survive in our complex world, we are a high offspring investment species, and thats the mechanism that makes it happen.

Having feelings, and being a beta pussy are two different things however. The real struggle is to maintain frame when you have strong emotions and investment.

Enjoy the feels, but carefully monitor your frame and don't slip into being a hen pecked beta pussy.
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#8

How do you deal with infatuation

The Rational Male gave great advice. Spin more plates -> https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/

Check out Pimp Game, Picking Up Strippers, The Fun Way!, Weaponized: Add Cold Reading to your arsenal! and Tarot Game.

Game isn’t what I use to get what I want out of women.
Game is what I use to get what I want out of life.
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#9

How do you deal with infatuation

Quote: (09-07-2017 03:51 PM)DarianFrey Wrote:  

Been thinking about this as well lately. And let's not kid ourselves; the way you phrase your OP implies something akin to a 'oneitis', aka. THAT girl that keeps occupying your thoughts. Especially when you have established abundance.

Right now, I'd ask why fight those feelings?

There's nothing wrong with getting feels - after all they're there for a reason if the girl in question is really "your type" - but be careful on acting on feels before a true relationship is established and defined.

Enjoy it as long as you can keep being the cool guy that initially got her into bed. Drown it out if it makes you want to triple-text her when she hasn't responded to you for 3 hours.

Certain phrases are rehashed here in order to forge and maintain a certain coldness, like "Hoes ain't shit" etc. I don't disagree with them 100% since the have a use, but the fact is that unless you're a stone-cold playa you're going to fall for a girl hard at some point, and hopefully she'll fall for you too.

I say enjoy the ride. It may fade, like love usually does (paraphrasing LINUX). Be grateful that you have it in you to establish and form that kind of connection; you will be richer from the experience.

Hey, thanks for the answer.

I don't want to belabour the point of whether it is oneitis, just that I suppose finding a woman is amazing isn't necessarily a bad thing - what is bad, what I would call 'oneitis' is being needy, is believing this is the one and only, etc.

I suppose that what made think of this is exactly an inner disagreement with the whole 'hoes ain't shit' mentality. That is, I can see how great it can feel to establish a deep connection with a girl, it almost feels like it's... A good thing. Oh the scent of a woman [Image: tongue.gif]

Now, clearly if game has taught us anything is that one shouldn't just 'accept and go mad' with your feelings of infatuation for a girl. To some extent you will have to fight your natural reaction (texting her non-stop, 'opening up' completely).

So there must be the right median to be achieved. And in my case, because I'm currently trying to be very careful not to get into a relationship too early I might have erred too steeply on the side of caution.
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#10

How do you deal with infatuation

Quote: (09-07-2017 03:23 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

There is no such thing as the one.

There is no such thing as a true love.

There is no such thing as a soul mate.


Infatuation is another word for oneitis, so yes, you have oneitis.


There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying one girl that you like having around.

Of course you should hangout with her, it's clear she compliments your life.


However, you should slow your roll, and pull back a little bit, make sure she enjoys you just as much as you enjoy her.

Don't hang out or talk to her too much.

I get it, I know you're stoked, you're smiling, you're happy, you're excited, but pump the brakes a little.


Let her give you the "what are we" talk first, don't pull the trigger on anything, but make sure you're the man and lead her.

You've only known her a short time probably, so you need time to vet her, and get to know alot more of her.


As for in the moment, enjoy it, keep fucking her, but don't send any signals yet about a relationship and/or dating.



what utter shit advice..... If there wasn't the one, Id never get married and be a degenerate.
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#11

How do you deal with infatuation

Quote: (03-09-2018 01:17 PM)Spartacus Wrote:  

Quote: (09-07-2017 03:23 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

There is no such thing as the one.

There is no such thing as a true love.

There is no such thing as a soul mate.


Infatuation is another word for oneitis, so yes, you have oneitis.


There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying one girl that you like having around.

Of course you should hangout with her, it's clear she compliments your life.


However, you should slow your roll, and pull back a little bit, make sure she enjoys you just as much as you enjoy her.

Don't hang out or talk to her too much.

I get it, I know you're stoked, you're smiling, you're happy, you're excited, but pump the brakes a little.


Let her give you the "what are we" talk first, don't pull the trigger on anything, but make sure you're the man and lead her.

You've only known her a short time probably, so you need time to vet her, and get to know alot more of her.


As for in the moment, enjoy it, keep fucking her, but don't send any signals yet about a relationship and/or dating.



what utter shit advice..... If there wasn't the one, Id never get married and be a degenerate.

Fuck off troll, you'll be banned soon enough you soy boy.
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#12

How do you deal with infatuation

Quote: (03-09-2018 01:21 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Quote: (03-09-2018 01:17 PM)Spartacus Wrote:  

Quote: (09-07-2017 03:23 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

There is no such thing as the one.

There is no such thing as a true love.

There is no such thing as a soul mate.


Infatuation is another word for oneitis, so yes, you have oneitis.


There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying one girl that you like having around.

Of course you should hangout with her, it's clear she compliments your life.


However, you should slow your roll, and pull back a little bit, make sure she enjoys you just as much as you enjoy her.

Don't hang out or talk to her too much.

I get it, I know you're stoked, you're smiling, you're happy, you're excited, but pump the brakes a little.


Let her give you the "what are we" talk first, don't pull the trigger on anything, but make sure you're the man and lead her.

You've only known her a short time probably, so you need time to vet her, and get to know alot more of her.


As for in the moment, enjoy it, keep fucking her, but don't send any signals yet about a relationship and/or dating.



what utter shit advice..... If there wasn't the one, Id never get married and be a degenerate.

Fuck off troll, you'll be banned soon enough you soy boy.


What about those couples who meet when young, get married and stay together? how is that not one true love?
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#13

How do you deal with infatuation

Spartacus you want to stop spamming the forum with useless 1 or 2 word replies followed by ellipses? You're last poster on the whole 2 front pages and as far as I can tell have added nothing of value.
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#14

How do you deal with infatuation

Quote: (03-09-2018 02:22 PM)Spartacus Wrote:  

What about those couples who meet when young, get married and stay together? how is that not one true love?

"Romantic love" also called "True love", and "Infatuation" also known as "Oneitis" aren't nearly that bad on a healthy patriarchal society as they are today because a traditional society acts in favour of the family institution. You need to learn more about hypergamy and gynocentrism, because the argument you are giving only had validity in the past century. Since no-fault divorce laws if you marry you hand your wife a loaded gun the moment children arrive. More than 50% of the couples that marry end in a divorce rape where the man is destroyed, more than 80% of the divorces are started by the woman even when they have good providers, women receive custody in more than 80% of child custody cases and suicide rates go up tenfold for men post divorce. Nearly no woman marries today still young and even most woman who seem traditional are traditional in disguise (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/1...917.html).

This is not about being a degenerate. Is about being a healthy masculine man in a female-dominated culture. We follow people like Roosh V because we need to be unlearn ours white knight behaviours and learn how to live without the sustained emotional intimacy that our gynocentric societies have denied to us.

I will leave you with some good quotes so you can begin your investigation:

Quote:Quote:

A wife for every Beta is the old order negotiated social contract function of committed monogamy. In a state of nature where 80% of men can never be assured of a genetic legacy, most men have no incentive to participate in an organized society. What the Regulated model of sexuality does (albeit inefficiently) is gives Beta males the incentive to cooperate in larger society by establishing monogamy as the predominant social order. And then, as Krauser mentions these societies tend to outperform those based on a Hypergamous, naturalistic socio-sexual structure.
The new, post-sexual revolution order is a model ostensibly based on ‘sexual freedom’, but what this really represents is a return to that naturalistic sexual order based on pre-agrarian, evolutionarily incentivized Hypergamy.

Quote:Quote:

Only in a feminized equalist society do men expect in-kind reciprocation from women. As a man, your “needs” are only important to you. Men’s disappointment comes from expecting a balanced return on his emotional investment and relational equity; this is the result of his egalitarian equalist conditioning. It sucks and it’s offensive to men because they’ve believed for most of their lives that there should be an equitable exchange of emotional and personal investments – his woman should have his needs and his best interests in mind. In fact it’s a recipe for failure, since it puts men into a position of neediness, and thus forces him to negotiate for his woman’s desire.
As a man it is important to understand that love will always, necessarily, be an unequal exchange of sacrifice for a woman. You simply don’t share the same concept of love with a woman. There are ”complementary benefits”, but never assume your investment with a woman will be an equitable tradeoff.

Rollo Tomassi, https://therationalmale.com/ (PUA point of view)

Quote:Quote:

I don’t mind knowing that women are hypergamous and learning how much they are functioning off of attraction, I mind being sold that I have to “win a woman over”, that monogamy is part of “true love”, that there is “the one” for me. All that crap served a social system that no longer exists – yet men are still playing it. The alphas have figured out that they don’t have to provision/protect to get laid and the Betas are getting fed up with the crap and the lies.

Quote:Quote:

The concept of men’s idealistic love`, the love that makes him the true romantic, `begins with a want of freedom from his burden of performance. It’s not founded in an absolute like unconditional love, but rather a love that isn’t dependent upon his performing well enough to assuage a woman’s hypergamous concept of love.
As the true romantics, and because of the performance demands of Hypergamy, there is a distinct want for men to believe that in so revealing their vulnerabilities they become more “human” – that if they expose their frailties to women some mask they believe they’re wearing comes off and (if she’s a mythical “quality woman“ ™) she’ll excuses his inadequacies to perform to the rigorous satisfaction of her Hypergamy. The problems with this ‘strength in surrender’ hope are twofold. First, the humanness he believes a woman will respect isn’t the attraction cue he believes it is. Ten minutes perusing blogs about the left-swiping habits of women using Tinder (or @Tinderfessions) is enough to verify that women aren’t desirous of the kind of “humanness” he’s been conditioned to believe women are receptive to. In the attraction and arousal stages, women are far more concerned with a man’s capacity to entertain her by playing a role and presenting her with the perception of a male archetype she expects herself to be attracted to and aroused by. Which brings us to the second problem with ‘strength in surrender’. The caricaturized preconception men have about their masculine identity is a construct of a man’s feminine-primary socialization.

This videos are also very informative (MGTOW point of view):






... and "The Red Pill" documentary (MRAs point of view):




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#15

How do you deal with infatuation

I know three women who gave their kidney to their partners.

Still think marriage is good pursuing with a woman who will satisfy my needs.
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#16

How do you deal with infatuation

I was infatuated with a girl last summer. Personal 9, cool as fuck. Looking back it's blows my mind some of the things I said and did. Nothing too bad but I still let emotion reign over reason for a bit; haven't caught feels like that in years. Next time it happens I will apply the lessons learned. One of which is "less is more." Simple but very effective with women
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