[spiv]

AFC here and I need some advice.

Last weekend I met up with an acquaintance at a club. We were planning on meeting another group of people there, but they didn't show up so we were alone the whole night. We started dancing together after a while and ultimately ending up making out on the dance floor. We both had a lot of fun, but she ended up leaving the club after an extended makeout session. She texted me on the way home to tell me she "had a lot of fun, thanks!"

I invited her out the next night but she already had plans and didn't counter with an alternative plan. Now I'm wondering what I should do next.

The girl is really cute and genuinely fun to hang out with, so I'd really like another bite at the apple. She's on the rebound and from what I've heard has been hooking up with a lot of guys. Furthermore, she hangs out in a big group of friends, mostly consisting of beta orbiters.

I know I fucked up in not pushing to bring her home. I haven't scored since a breakup with a girlfriend last year, and among other things was concerned about my performance. And as Monday morning quarterback, I realize that I missed some telltale signs that she was DTF, and as a result I may have come across as Beta or too gentlemanly.

Should I text her? If so, when and what?

[Conclusion013]

What was her reason for leaving the club after the makeout? And what did you say in your response to her "had a good night" text?

[spiv]

(08-22-2017 12:57 PM)Conclusion013 Wrote:  

What was her reason for leaving the club after the makeout? And what did you say in your response to her "had a good night" text?

It was late: around 3 am. She was drunk and so was I. She came back in while waiting for uber surge pricing to end and we started making out again.

My response to her "Had a great time, thanks" text was:
"Me too"
"I look forward to next time"

Further possibly relevant details:

She replied to my next day texts asking her how she was doing and to "Let me know if you'd like to get drinks or hang out" within a few minutes.

I jokingly told her a few times that I was a gentleman (and she agreed) [I can't believe I said this!] and that don't put out on the first date [can't believe I said this either], but on the second date... I would "devour" her. (Said while licking and kissing her neck.) She didn't understand [she's not a native English speaker and it was loud in the club], to which she responded with "what makes you think there will be a next time?"

I didn't notice what time we started making out but it lasted for probably 1.5-2 hours (although not constant).

While we were dancing my knee was between her legs grinding her, and my hands on her ass. She's tiny and jumped into my arms a few times, and while grabbing her ass under her skirt I could feel freshly shaved pussy. Lots of groping on my part, but no insertion (seriously, WTF?!). Little groping on her part, but I could tell she was really enjoying the makeout session.

At one point she did examine the contents of my pockets. If I had had a hard on at that point I would have directed her to it but, due in part to my nerves, I didn't have one. I usually don't easily get wood with a new girl, hence the performance anxiety.

I keep running through the events over and over in my head, and cursing myself. I was really excited immediately afterwards to have escalated to kissing with this girl a because I've had a bit of a crush on this girl since we met and because I sensed there was some tension between us.

[heavy]

Shots.

If it's an acquaintance with whom you want plausible deniability, which I'm assuming...get drunk with her.

Booze gives both parties denial of responsibility. It's an exponential effect with both people.

[PapayaTapper]

(08-22-2017 01:53 PM)spiv Wrote:  

I keep running through the events over and over in my head, and cursing myself. I was really excited immediately afterwards to have escalated to kissing with this girl a because I've had a bit of a crush on this girl since we met and because I sensed there was some tension between us.

Good and bad news

The bad news is you are unlikely to get another shot. Why? Because you released / wasted / lost the tension by making out with the in the club.

Do not make out with girls in a place you can not bang her

Would you light the fuse on a stick of dynamite if you didnt want it to go off right then and there? Of course not. Pro tip: A fuse doesn't burn for 1.5hrs

Attraction+comfort+tingles+arousal+ logistics = sex

What element were you missing?

Once she's feeling it get her home earlier with "let's get out of here"... without kissing her. Once you make out the next logical step is sex and this interruption will likely kill the sequence

Make sense?

If you do get another chance to get her out then that means she's DTF....

The good news is you landed in the right spot here to learn

A) How to create more opportunities with women

B) Increase your chances of having sex with more of those women

Welcome to RVF

[spiv]

Thanks guys. Should I try a restart text or just skip to asking her out for drinks?

[PapayaTapper]

(08-22-2017 03:35 PM)spiv Wrote:  

Thanks guys. Should I try a restart text or just skip to asking her out for drinks?

I you were going to have sex with her where would that be?

[Beyond Borders]

I'm not going to comment on the overall incident and the various questions here, but I just wanted to point out that your inner game is really fucking with you on some of this stuff.

Case in point:

(08-22-2017 01:53 PM)spiv Wrote:  

I jokingly told her a few times that I was a gentleman (and she agreed) [I can't believe I said this!] and that don't put out on the first date [can't believe I said this either], but on the second date... I would "devour" her. (Said while licking and kissing her neck.)

You actually had your self criticism backward in these comments.

(08-22-2017 01:53 PM)spiv Wrote:  

I jokingly told her a few times that I was a gentleman (and she agreed) [I can't believe I said this!]

(08-22-2017 01:53 PM)spiv Wrote:  

And that don't put out on the first date [can't believe I said this either], but on the second date...

Why are you ashamed you said these things? I assume you were feeling buzzed and confident and said them in a slightly cocky manner? Don't second guess yourself because you sobered up. These lines are great...if you say them correctly...and I have used this shit hundreds of times. It's called flirting.

Unless, of course, you were actually trying to convince her these things are true? If so, you've got the right content and just need to work on the delivery. Keep it playful and exaggerate. Simple enough.

(08-22-2017 01:53 PM)spiv Wrote:  

I would "devour" her. (Said while licking and kissing her neck.)

This was the cringeworthy part, actually. Comes across pretty needy and eager.

Don't over promise with your public foreplay - you risk scaring the cat, and if you're not great in bed or things somehow don't go as planned, you risk having it blow up in your face. Women are generally pretty forgiving if the initial sex isn't fantastic, but if you oversell it and don't deliver, it backfires.

You are also giving her too much cause to worry it's only about the sex and start hamstering herself out of a second go round.

Sure, escalate physically, but play it a bit cooler. Stop talking about what you'll do when you get her alone and just focus more on actually getting her alone. The less experience you have with sex the more true this is.

Quote:

She didn't understand [she's not a native English speaker and it was loud in the club], to which she responded with "what makes you think there will be a next time?"

She's flirting/shit-testing you. Think nothing of it.

[Pointer]

People say stupid shit when they're drunk and chances are she doesn't remember all of it.

Seeing how she rejected your offer to meet up right away I would give it a few days then suggest a coffee shop. You'll probably have to start from scratch and build some attraction. If she refuses then clearly she's not interested.

[spiv]

Thanks guys! The rematch is scheduled for Monday night at a bar a block away from my apartment. Now, should I greet her with a lip kiss or should I build back up to that point?

[Mig Picante]

(08-23-2017 03:04 PM)spiv Wrote:  

Thanks guys! The rematch is scheduled for Monday night at a bar a block away from my apartment. Now, should I greet her with a lip kiss or should I build back up to that point?

Don't start with a lip kiss. A hug and a peck on the cheek is good but make her work for the rest and build up to it.

Lip kiss straight away would be far too fast IMO.

[PapayaTapper]

(08-23-2017 03:04 PM)spiv Wrote:  

Thanks guys! The rematch is scheduled for Monday night at a bar a block away from my apartment. Now, should I greet her with a lip kiss or should I build back up to that point?

Good job on getting a second chance but for pete's sake are you trying to make the same mistake?

(08-22-2017 02:16 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(08-22-2017 01:53 PM)spiv Wrote:  

I keep running through the events over and over in my head, and cursing myself. I was really excited immediately afterwards to have escalated to kissing with this girl a because I've had a bit of a crush on this girl since we met and because I sensed there was some tension between us.

Good and bad news

The bad news is you are unlikely to get another shot. Why? Because you released / wasted / lost the tension by making out with the in the club.

Do not make out with girls in a place you can not bang her

Would you light the fuse on a stick of dynamite if you didnt want it to go off right then and there? Of course not. Pro tip: A fuse doesn't burn for 1.5hrs

Attraction+comfort+tingles+arousal+ logistics = sex

What element were you missing?

Once she's feeling it get her home earlier with "let's get out of here"... without kissing her. Once you make out the next logical step is sex and this interruption will likely kill the sequence

Make sense?

If you do get another chance to get her out then that means she's DTF....

[PapayaTapper]

The following should be required reading. The thread says first date but the principles apply 100% to 2nd dates etc.

Follow this as exactly as possible and you are likely to have sex.

Dont and you will have sex with your hand...again

In my opinion the single best game to sex post on the forum

Tuthmosis's New Recipe For Securing First Date Bangs

Dont thank me ...thank Tuth

[Svoboda]

(08-22-2017 11:13 AM)spiv Wrote:  

AFC here and I need some advice.

What's AFC?

[PapayaTapper]

(08-24-2017 03:11 PM)Svoboda Wrote:  

(08-22-2017 11:13 AM)spiv Wrote:  

AFC here and I need some advice.

What's AFC?

American Football Conference of the NFL and home to among others them cheatin bastards New England Patriots

[Conclusion013]

Lol Ppt I like you even more now knowing you dislike the Patriots

[spiv]

So we hung out and it was fun, but I kept chickening out about asking her to go home. I missed more than one opportunity to do so. I think she even signaled that she wanted to go back to my place when we were leaving the first bar. She seemed to show an flicker of surprise/disappointment when she asked if we should go to another bar and I agreed.

Lots of talking, full on eye contact and touching in the second bar. It's pretty clear she wants a relationship, based on our discussion. Not sure I'm ready for that. TBH, I'm still hung up on my ex, who I've never fully cut the cord with.

We ended up making out briefly before she insisted on going home. I escalated (maybe too quickly) by putting my hand down her pants and grabbing her ass...

Not sure what I should do next... It's been 36 hours or so with no contact.

[heavy]

[mensch]

it sounds like you have a lot of work to do. I am not sure this can be salvaged, but this might be useful for this or the next time:

1. when you are on a date after there was make-out/ enough attraction that sex might happen you have to go with the mentality that IT WILL HAPPEN - the first minute is very important for that: touch her as much as possible, smile, be high energy - have the vibe of confidence that you know she wants you. If done correctly this will also make sure you won't chicken out.
2. LOGISTICS ARE CRUCIAL. If you are going to hop around, always hop escalating, as it were: a darker, cosier bar, a bar closer to your place, (if it works for you, a club), etc...
3. If you feel like you are chickening out a good strategy is making it clear that you are going to your place later, even if not now. That works explicitly as in 'let's go to my place later but first to bar X'. It also works implicitly: 'Let's go to bar X, it's closer to my place *wink*'.

[YoungBlade]

(08-24-2017 03:11 PM)Svoboda Wrote:  

(08-22-2017 11:13 AM)spiv Wrote:  

AFC here and I need some advice.

What's AFC?

A Fart Cream
Alamo Fritatta Cook
Arbitrary Frog Call
Abalone Fetching Crew

I could go on...

[rudebwoy]

Spiv - you are over thinking this situation.

Chill bro and relax.

Do not make assumptions on what she wants, what she says and what she does are two different things.

Get to know the girl before you push the issue, why put your hands down her pants?

Back off for a bit and see how she responds, no text or communication. If you work with her then be calm, cool and collected if you bump into her again.

[mensch]

(08-30-2017 10:45 AM)YoungBlade Wrote:  

(08-24-2017 03:11 PM)Svoboda Wrote:  

(08-22-2017 11:13 AM)spiv Wrote:  

AFC here and I need some advice.

What's AFC?

A Fart Cream
Alamo Fritatta Cook
Arbitrary Frog Call
Abalone Fetching Crew

I could go on...

Everybody knows it's

A Fat Cunt.

[PapayaTapper]

(08-30-2017 07:26 AM)spiv Wrote:  

So we hung out and it was fun, but I kept chickening out about asking her to go home. I missed more than one opportunity to do so. I think she even signaled that she wanted to go back to my place when we were leaving the first bar. She seemed to show an flicker of surprise/disappointment when she asked if we should go to another bar and I agreed.

Lots of talking, full on eye contact and touching in the second bar. It's pretty clear she wants a relationship, based on our discussion. Not sure I'm ready for that. TBH, I'm still hung up on my ex, who I've never fully cut the cord with.

We ended up making out briefly before she insisted on going home. I escalated (maybe too quickly) by putting my hand down her pants and grabbing her ass...

Not sure what I should do next... It's been 36 hours or so with no contact.

So you come here and ask for advice . You get good, actionable advice from guys with a lot more experience than you. What do you do? You ignore it




You cant bang this chick because youre hung up on another chick (who's probably banging another dude)





Youre "too chicken" to bounce her to your place but after we've given you compelling reasons why not to escalate in a non bang location ....you reach down her pants and grab her ass.




Now your back for more advice

(08-30-2017 07:26 AM)spiv Wrote:  

Not sure what I should do next... It's been 36 hours or so with no contact

There's only one move left for you. Next time you see her bust this one out

[General Stalin]

You fumbled the first date no biggie sonyou came in here looking for some pointers on what to do next. Got tons of great advice and didn't do any of it. Now you whining about being hung up on some ex and whether or not this girl wants a relationship with you?

Work on your inner game and come back when you are ready to have sex with women.

[Kapanda]

(08-23-2017 10:14 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

The following should be required reading. The thread says first date but the principles apply 100% to 2nd dates etc.

Follow this as exactly as possible and you are likely to have sex.

Dont and you will have sex with your hand...again

In my opinion the single best game to sex post on the forum

Tuthmosis's New Recipe For Securing First Date Bangs

Dont thank me ...thank Tuth

Bookmarked.