[Sol Omnibus Lucet]

I posted this to get it out of my head and off my chest. It doesn't have much more purpose than that. I welcome any comments, questions, or feedback you may have.

A few months ago, I matched with a girl on Tinder. That's not unusual, I usually get one or two matches a week when I swipe a lot every day. What was unusual was that this one talked back. American girls on Tinder rarely reply to me, it really killed my ego when I first made a profile. Needless to say, I was excited by her positive response and immediately logged in to Kindle to brush up on "Bang" because I knew my own skills were weak.


As I re-read pertinent sections of the book, I realized that I hadn't been on a date in seven years. I was surprised by the math, but it was accurate, I hadn't been on a date since I graduated school. I followed Roosh's advice closely and as the week drew to an end I was pleased with myself. I had set up the date for Thursday at my favorite bar and the girl was still responding to my text messages.

I wasn't as nervous as I expected to be. Even when she texted me that she would be 30 minutes late to our 8 PM appointment I didn't let my nerves get to me. I simply uncased my rifle and did some house-clearing drills to kill some time. I didn't want to get there before she did because Roosh recommends not to do that for some good reasons.

I ended up arriving there first anyways because she was a few minutes later than her estimate. I wasn't bothered because she sent me some very apologetic texts as I waited. I killed some more time by sipping water and chatting with the bartender and owner who are friendly with me because I always tip well. I talked to the owner about my date. I told him she was probably going to be fat, but I didn't mind because she had a pretty face and huge tits.

When she finally arrived, she was fat, just as I expected but she also had a cute face, a nice ass, and tits big enough to clog a toilet. I was pleased. I kept my back to her as she walked through the door and I ended my conversation with the owner. When she was only a few steps away I climbed off my bar stool, and smiled genuinely as I said hi and hugged her.

She apologized well for being tardy as we sat. I told her it was ok, I probably should have teased her or told her I would spank her or something but I missed the opportunity. We ordered drinks and began to chat. From time to time, my leg closest to her would sway from side to side in a nervous way, I think she noticed.

We talked about alcohol, guns, family, video games, her ex and the service industry. At one point she asked me what kind of holster I use for concealed carry and I said "Give me your hand". She did and I placed it on the Glock 19 in my waistband, letting her feel it through my shirt, I said "I'll show you later". She liked that. I also read her palm, I could have done better with my improv on that but she liked it even though she said I was being cheesy.

We each had two drinks plus sushi. When last call came, I paid the tab even though she offered to split it. I told her she could get it next time. As we left the bar I tried to venue change to an arcade a few doors down but it was closed. I said "Oh well, I guess we have to go back to my house and play Super Smash Bros instead." It worked. She drove me to my car and followed me home, a convenient 30 second trip from the bar. As she followed me, I thought about the handcuffs I had seen hanging from her rear-view mirror.

She had to spend the first ten minutes at my house befriending my wary dog.Then, she looked at my booze and requested whiskey. She drank hers fast, and I barely touched mine. After that, it was smooth sailing for a while. As we sat down to play Smash Bros on my Gamecube I told her that I was sitting in the only comfortable chair, so she should sit on my lap. She asked if I was saying that only because I wanted her to sit in my lap. I said "Yeah" and she sat in my lap.

I kicked her ass in Smash for a while, teasing her skills and slowly working my hands into a position where I held the controller against the underside of her boobs. At some point she turned her head toward me and I kissed her. I stood her up, kissed her some more and somehow ended up putting her in a Half Nelson. A lot of this stuff is going to sound weird on paper, but in the moment it was natural and enjoyable for both of us.

She halfheartedly tried to hip throw me. I said "Try to hip throw me, huh?" I put her in a Full Nelson, and pressed my crotch into her ass as I pushed her down the hallway to my bedroom. I think it was around this point that she began to mumble "It's not fair." I think her tone of voice was meant to be enticing, but it was a turn off for me. I do not understand what she meant by it.

I gently pushed her onto my bed, she sat down and rolled onto her stomach as I arranged the lighting and turned on music. I took her shoes off, here is a picture of that moment:



I got on the bed with her and took off her clothes and mine as she offered some token resistance. I fumbled with her bra and after two tries I said "I'm going to rip this off of you". I waited one second and tore it off. Her tits were ok. They were big but I could see veins and were a little saggy. When I took off her panties I became a bit disappointed by her fat thighs and pussy. As I got off the bed to remove my pants and underwear, she sort of peeked around the blanket and pilows to see my cock. It was very cute, and I remember that moment fondly.



This is the part of the story that could go one of two ways. I could tell you the sanitized version that I tell my friends, the version where she sleeps over and we fuck all night. But I'm not going to do that, I'm going to tell you the truth because it feels good to get it off my chest.

The truth is that not only could I not get hard the entire night, I was also a virgin.

I laid next to her on the bed and kissed her with one hand firmly around her throat, my other hand slid between her legs. She mumbled about not wanting to go this far with someone she'd just met. I mumbled about that being good because I'm not a "sex on the first date" type of guy. At this point I wasn't yet worried about my lack of boner.

She was really wet, and I fingered her curling my middle and ring finger in her pussy in a "cum hither" gesture. I had read that this technique made girls squirt and I had great success with it. She moaned and closed her eyes as her pussy gushed all over my goose down comforter.

I put her hand hand on my cock as I continued to finger her. She jerked me off, but she was really bad at it and she stopped after a minute or so of no response from my limp dick. I made her cum a couple more times and then took my fingers out. As I laid there next to her I licked my fingers behind her back because I had never tasted pussy juice before. I honestly detected no taste on my fingers, I was disappointed.

She rolled to face me and said " I didn't want to go this far with someone I just met." I stared at her with a blank face, broke contact and moved 180 degrees to the head of my bed where I laid my head on the pillows. After a few seconds she moved and put herself in a spooning position and we cuddled. I kept trying for a boner even though my cock felt dead.

I made her cum once more and then she got up and started looking for her clothes. I got up and gently bent her over the bed. She didn't resist and I proceeded to finger her from behind as I twisted her arm behind her back and bit her fat ass. This was pretty fun for me and she loved it. Her legs gave out as she came a huge soaking puddle on my tile floor and her shirt

I didn't stop and I put her in a chokehold on the floor until she asked if we could lay on the bed.

She slept over and I held her all night. I couldn't get any sleep. I listened to her snore until my alarm clock went off.

Neither of us had brushed our teeth. We kissed with rancid sushi breath and didn't care. She gave me a longer handjob but her technique was awful. I told her to spit on it but her mouth was dry and she couldn't make enough spit to lube me up. I told her to suck my cock, she mumbled and for the sake of my ego I'm going to remember her saying "I'm not ready yet" instead of "It's not ready yet".

I pushed her over and began to rub my cock on her pussy lips. She moaned and closed her eyes, but soon opened them and asked me to put on a condom. I had a shitty halfway boner but I rolled the rubber on anyways and put about 5% of the tip of my cock into her pussy before I shriveled up severely.

I said "Yeah, it's not gonna happen" as I got up from the bed. She said "It's the condom isn't it? I know a lot of guys will go soft at the drop of a hat for a condom." I said "Yeah" as I walked into the bathroom.

I rushed to get ready for work. She put her shirt in my dryer because she squirted all over it. We had a short, pleasant shower together. She told me that she didn't know my name because she labeled me in her phone as Blondebeard. I told her that I didn't know her name because I labeled her in my phone as Big Tits.

We stood outside her car in my driveway and she hugged and kissed me. She reminded me that I had said I would take her shooting. I said that we could go next week. We said goodbye and she left.

After that, the texts trailed off and I haven't seen her since. Overall, it was a weird experience for me. I don't know if I actually lost my virginity, I think not because I didn't cum. I ended up paying $50 for her drinks and sushi, but she tells me the bra I destroyed is worth $36, so it could be worse. The whole situation rocked my confidence for a while but it's water under the bridge now. I am worried about ED however, ever since then I've been paying more attention and my boners are pretty weak.

[PapayaTapper]

Sol meet V, V meet Sol


You guys are going to get along famously

[LINUX]

Always carry a viagra in the small drug pocket for banging club sluts.

It's more of a mental thing really, if you were in a relationship with this girl, you probably wouldn't of had a problem getting hard. But when you know nothing about someone, it can be difficult to show up completely.

Also, carry an ambien for sleeping beside someone you don't really want to be sleeping beside.

That's all I can tell you. Just wanted to give you good advice before the no fap train shows up.

[ksbms]

If losing virginity means a penis in vagina, then surely you've got a long way to go having only touched her labia minor with your penis glans.

[not_dead_yet]

I prefer cialis/tadalafil to Viagra, but I second PapayaTapper's advice. Linux is right too - I have anxiety with new girls. Chemical assistance ftw.

[The Catalyst]

Do you think you would've gotten it up if she wasn't fat?

[ivansirko]

Step 1: stop slapping the salami.
Step 2: Try again.

[tomzestatlu]

Don´t think about it so much and don´t overanalyze it. I guess this happened to anyone, just nobody says it. Sooner or later it will work.
And think of it the way you lost the virginity. Now you can reach unlimited amount of girls, because you already can get under their panties.

[cocksure123]

How did you get that pic? Hidden cam? Whenever I tape my encounters, it messes with my concentration because I'm thinking about lighting, positioning, etc. That leads to not being in the moment and not being as hard as I would like.

[Guitarman]

I think you did very well. TBH, the girl didn't look too fat to me. I would have smashed that.

I've also suffered from performance anxiety with a new girl and that gets better with a girl I knew already before dating. My way of getting over the PA is to only go for the bang on the third or fourth date. It's possible that some of us chaps just need to build some comfort for me as well as for the girl.

A logistics tip- get yourself a decent leather sofa you can use to escalate on and maybe get her legs apart and get the initial bang without going to the bedroom and getting fully undressed.

[Going strong]

She does not look very fat, at least her thighs don't look that bad. WMB, would maybe bang?

Also, you spent a lot of time talking in the bar and at home, and never asked each other's name? really? not even at the bar upon meeting? are you sure she wasn't a pay for play lady, and the pic is not from a motel room? nice pillows, though, do bring them to the White House!

Quoting you: "she had tits big enough to clog a toilet"... you sir, are a true poet, a pleasure reading you.

One other thing: when you have a nice woman on your lap in your home, there is no point in wasting time, "slowly working hands into a position"; grab her by the pussy, son, now or never!

[heavy]

WB. Damn it's been a few weeks for me, she'd have been pregnant by the time she entered my place.

I remember not being able to stay hard at times, even in my 20s. Actually nowadays I never have that problem. It's purely psychological.

Glad to see that clit rub is still working wonders.

(07-20-2017 07:49 AM)Guitarman Wrote:  

A logistics tip- get yourself a decent leather sofa you can use to escalate on and maybe get her legs apart and get the initial bang without going to the bedroom and getting fully undressed.

That's a great dress to not have to undress. Just hike it up a bit and slide in around the panties, fuck her in your kitchen. Hell you can leave your jeans on and just unzip down.

Great writing, easy to read. You should post more anecdotes like this when you have more to offer. Good stuff.

[realologist]

If you haven't been on a date in 7 years and are still a virgin(You are)the last thing you should worry about is a camera.

The good news is she seems eager to hang out again. Don't masterbate until the next time you hang out with her and have Viagra on deck in case the same thing happens. Don't take so much time fingering her. Do a little bit to get her going and finish her off with your dick.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I'd say that it counts as losing virginity, but you shouldn't really be concerned about that. Work on improving your game and getting more dates with hotter girls, who cares about a technical label? Now you know that you can do it and that's the only thing that matters.

And make sure that you're not watching porn or masturbating with a harsh grip. These things can be deadly to your sensitivity.

[tomzestatlu]

I forgot to ask.. does she really look like Pepe? If yes, definitely WB.

[ksbms]

(07-20-2017 09:05 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

I'd say that it counts as losing virginity[...].

So you say that touching the vulvar vestibule with the glans penis makes a "notch"?

Looks like I've got extra notches, then

What if the girl was a virgin, would she not lose virginity (hymen would stay intact)? I think it works both ways and is a two-way-thing, that is a biconditional proposition: "one loses virginity if and only if a penetration occurs" that adequately describes when technically it did happen.

At an intentional level, you could say, "both people wanted it to happen", but then it would be only a matter of degree, e.g., two people texting each other and both wanting it to happen would constitute as "having sex", if we allow for such a loose definition of an intercourse as "I touched her v with my p" we allow for such paradoxes to occur. Or, in other words, continuum fallacy is in place.

I'm afraid the OP hasn't lost his virginity in this instance.*

* Nitpicky as I am, from medical point of view, only females can lose virginity and a man has sex for the first time - no anatomical changes take place, more of a mental thing which actually muddles things quite a bit...

[thebassist]

First of all man, good stuff, it feels good to see the work you put into yourself pay off doesn't it?

Keep on doing your thing, talking to girls, hitting the gym, going on more dates and soon enough you'll be able to look back on this and laugh about it.

Best of luck!

[chitown72]

Good job with the post. You gotta start somewhere. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you do end up seeing this girl a few times and you still can't get it up, then I don't think it's no longer anxiety issues.

The reality is, I think a lot of us have gone through it at one point or another. I'm at a point myself where I need to get 7's and above or I just can't get hard for 6's and below.

[Gas]

It's happened to all of us. Obviously you had some nerves because it was your first time. The best advice anyone can give you: Try again.

[Vill@in]

Good job, OP. And for the sake of your anxiety, let's just say you lost your virginity so you don't have that hanging over your head.

Performance Anxiety is a hell of a thing. It's a self fulfilling prophecy and the more you think about it in the moment, it can get away from you and control the whole encounter. Obviously, the answer is always "don't think about it too much" and that's true; however it's easier said than done. You'll just have to find out what works for you. One thing that works for me, is even if I can stuff my semi-hard dick inside, the wetness of her pussy usually gets me standing at full attention. Sounds like she wanted you to put on a condom though so that may have not been an option.

I will also echo the Cialis/Viagra camp. I prefer Cialis, as you can take that anytime of the day and not have to worry about getting way to pop a pill before the action. It takes the pressure off. If you're not a fan of those performance enhancers though, there are other natural options. You'll want to boost your Nitric Oxide in your blood which can be done a number of ways through diet. Here are a few: https://www.amrapnutrition.com/interesti...roduction/

As for this particular girl, text her back over for a rematch of Smach Bros. and then Smash that pussy. The hard part is done, OP. You got this.

[RatInTheWoods]

Well done OP, yep I think that's a notch. Shame she was a selfish bitch who wouldn't give you head...

She looks bangable, not fat.

We have all been nervous enough not to get the rock hard dick straight away.
You don't need viagra, you just need a woman who will spend a few minutes foreplay on you, and bang you will be on your way.

She seems a selfish bitch, getting multiple Os and not even giving you 5 minutes...

[MathGuy]

Hey OP, I actually had this exact same problem yesterday. What a coincidence! Anyway, congrats

[scotian]

"When she finally arrived, she was fat, just as I expected but she also had a cute face, a nice ass, and tits big enough to clog a toilet. I was pleased. I kept my back to her as she walked through the door and I ended my conversation with the owner. When she was only a few steps away I climbed off my bar stool, and smiled genuinely as I said hi and hugged her."

One of the best descriptions of a well endowed woman I've ever read on RVF.

[TooFineAPoint]

(07-19-2017 08:29 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Always carry a viagra in the small drug pocket for banging club sluts.

It's more of a mental thing really, if you were in a relationship with this girl, you probably wouldn't of had a problem getting hard. But when you know nothing about someone, it can be difficult to show up completely.

Also, carry an ambien for sleeping beside someone you don't really want to be sleeping beside.

That's all I can tell you. Just wanted to give you good advice before the no fap train shows up.

^
Post of the hypothetical Greatest Uncle Ever advice I never had.

[Off The Reservation]