[nagaviper]

Hey fellas,

I've been trying to be more pro-active with respect to approaching. I have a question for you guys out there that live in faster-paced cities, or maybe those who have more experience. Is there a certain unspoken urgency about materializing an approach/digits into a date quickly here (I live in New York.)

Allow me to explain:

Despite having a few plusses on my side (if we were to pretend there are 5 steps to getting the lay, I'm an absolutely ace at the last 4 steps, but I'm a cripple on the first step -- the approach.) So I typically, and hesitantly engage girls within my radius, anyway there was a solid 8.5 the other week who I had the courage to say hey too and ask a boring question, which led to me getting her digits, a wink, and I'm usually a good judge of character -- but me being out of practice I was like 'whatever, I'll text her in a day or so' but my gut told me to set up something that very moment. I went with the former, and she never wrote me back. It's as if in some cases, you gotta cap off the date instantly, or girls vanish. Has that been anyone else's experience? Or am I misreading something?

[polar]

Numbers...when you exchange phones, you have to be a character, a persona with emotions attached, not just a number. Other than that, flakes happen, and it's hard to attribute the reason to your texting, game, or something on her end. However, as guidance, if you're getting fizzle when you text, look at your in person game first.

Go talk to ten other girls.

[456]

(07-15-2017 10:17 PM)nagaviper Wrote:  

I was like 'whatever, I'll text her in a day or so' but my gut told me to set up something that very moment. I went with the former,...

^-- You ignored your gut,...

(07-15-2017 10:17 PM)nagaviper Wrote:  

... and she never wrote me back.

^-- ... and re-learned what you already knew:

(07-15-2017 10:17 PM)nagaviper Wrote:  

It's as if in some cases, you gotta cap off the date instantly, or girls vanish. Has that been anyone else's experience?

Absolutely - I only even ask for name/number After it's been established we want to see each other again. In my experience as long as there's that verbal and looking-in-each-others'-eyes commitment of "yeah, let's do that on Tuesday!" -- then it's time to get the contact, and she will reply 80+% of the time.

The idea is We Both Know the contact info is meaningless if we aren't actually excited to meet again, and that excitement is shown and shared through the content of the few minutes of the approach / first meet. Contrast that to guys for whom the whole first approach is to get contact information, or aren't sure of what they really want from the interaction literally so they go for the abstract win.

I see it as, if we really do want to see each other again, we're making the plan right now and the math is a formality. Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed the chat and won't be caring about your contact info for the most part. That's my mindset, which I'll only stray from if my gut tells me to (sometimes there really is only time for a hail mary number grab, and lower response rates).