[cascadecombo]

(06-25-2017 09:31 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

What "action" do you guys want to "see", exactly? I need something concrete.

Are you trying to say that from all the responses, pms and others help you have received not a single thing has been something concrete? Nothing that you could start doing right away?

[RexImperator]

If you are talking about the help from Gio over the phone (which was great), most of that was about a specific girl/situation which no longer applies.

[Cheetah]

[Mercenary]

[Suits]

(06-25-2017 09:31 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

What "action" do you guys want to "see", exactly? I need something concrete.

Stop being a fatty. Get your weight down to a level where you are within a very healthy BMI range.

Approach 7 girls a week.

[Phoenix]

OK here's your concrete list. Let's see you worm out of this one.

I, RexImperator, want a girlfriend. I recognize the following points:

1. It is not normal for a man to be 42 and have never had one. To understand the nature of this, I admit that asking from time to time on an internet forum isn't going to cut it, and I need expert feedback from a psychologist, since that's the whole purpose of their job
2. I do recognize that to get a girlfriend I will need to meet new women, and have expressive conversations with them, to find someone that I like and that likes me. I accept this will take time and there is no quick fix.

(06-25-2017 09:48 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Only #5 if "others" refers to the forum...

3. I'm fundamentally lazy. I've responded to a request for "what are you doing or have you done" by weasely responding "I don't care what pleases you guys". My requests for help here are false, and they are closer to grumbles or the laziest way I can say to myself "I'm doing something to try and fix this", than genuine desires to succeed.

In recognition of this, I thereby commit to the following:

1.a. Tomorrow, I will search for 3 psychologists in my city. I will then call them and schedule appointments through the week. Total time investment: 1 hour to find, call and schedule.
1.b. I will then prepare a list of questions to ask each of them, that will allow me to choose one. Questions like "have you had clients like myself before", "have you successfully corrected this before", "how do you usually work with this issue / what is your method" etc. Total time investment: 1 hour.
1.c. I will attend the sessions. Total time investment: 5 hours (including commute times)
1.d. I will choose the best and most honest and direct-talking psychologist, and commit to 10 hours of sessions with him, to uproot the fundamental reasons I don't get with girls on a long term basis. Total time investment: 15 hours (including commute times)
1.e. I will not bullshit and excuse my way out of this by saying shit like "nah I don't really need that" etc.
-- Total investment for (1): 22 hours. As a percentage of live already lived: 0.006%

2.a. I will download a counting app for my phone. I will press the count up button each time I start a conversation with a new woman. I will report that number here at the end of every week.
2.b. I will list out at least 10 new avenues through which I can meet new women (anything from cooking classes to rock climbing), and select 2 from that list. I will then find those 2 things in my city, and schedule them for the week after next. I commit to not ruling out all 10 things from that list (only 8 of them max on this first round) by excuse-finding weaseling behaviour. I will then post those 2 things here in this thread.
2.c. I will upon completing these two things, walk out to the nearest coffee shop, and ask the first woman I see sat down "hi do you have the time?", and tally it in my counter app, to affirm my commitment to (2).
-- Total weekly time investment from next week: ~ 5 hours including attending the new things and starting up conversations with women. As percentage of life already lived: 0.0013%

3.a. I commit to not starting another thread here until I have posted my approach tallies and other actions I've taken in this very thread for at least 4 weeks, and I will post my week's actions here every week.
3.b. I request that the members here come down on me like a ton of bricks, and call me everything I deserve to be called, and welcome those responses, if I do not perform these actions.

Will you do that or not?

[thebassist]

(06-25-2017 09:31 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

What "action" do you guys want to "see", exactly? I need something concrete.

How about as a first action for yourself you make use of all of the quality information that has been graciously provided to you over multiple threads, and based on that write a tentative plan for yourself.

The reason you've attracted the ire of the forum is your incredible passivity: that you keep waiting for some magical piece of advice that will get you swimming in pussy rather than putting in the hard work of getting out there and getting rejected time after time until your skills begins to improve.

Please go ahead and re-read Globalman's post again: it might hurt but it's exactly what you need to hear. If you really want to change your life circumstances you will have to accept the fact that you have to get yourself out there, and that your ego will have to take a lot of hits along the way, that's simply part of the journey.

Now after you've read through that, take a first step towards being responsible for your own life and write up what actionable steps you will take to improve your game. Feel free to browse through the other threads that you have posted on this very same topic (or similar) for inspiration. Once you have done that then I'm sure people would be much happier to give you their input on your plan, rather than you just sitting back and asking endless favors of everyone on the forum. You're a man for god's sake, do you expect everyone to hold your hand for every little tiny step that you take for yourself?

Decide for yourself right now: are you happy to just keep things as they are (phrased much more eloquently in the TLOZ post linked by GlobalMan), or are you ready to subject your ego to the battering that it awaits in the path to improving your game and meeting girls?

Just make a fucking decision man, and stick to the path you have chosen for yourself, that's all that we ask.

[Ringo]

So much good advice and people genuinely putting in the effort to help Rex. But nothing will change because he only does barely enough to keep getting support without actually having to put himself out there and progress.

I won't even bother posting anything else here other than this warning - not to OP, but to members who are willing to waste their time trying to help him (yet again): don't.

[Phoenix]

(06-25-2017 11:18 AM)Ringo Wrote:  

I won't even bother posting anything else here other than this warning - not to OP, but to members who are willing to waste their time trying to help him (yet again): don't.

This is why I think there should be an additional feature to the rules of this forum: a user agreed-to ban condition.

If a user commits to taking a certain action on pain of ban, and then fails to at least post updates about their taking or not taking that action, they get banned.

This feature would boost the strength of the community as a positive accountability force, and would cull down time wasting, mopeyness, and the irreversible losers who just drag us down.

[Truth Tiger]

I don't comment much in general but this thread seems like the breaking point for a lot of members in terms of spending our precious time offering valuable advice. I agree with Phoenix: we are only as good and valuable a community as our standards for ourselves and each other. In a world where excuses, avoiding responsibility, and endless commiseration are SOP for non-masculine beings, those have no place here. I expect to get lambasted by my fellow men and RVF is the only reliably male space I know. Threads like this where action is not taken again and again demean the value of what Roosh has created and what we all contribute to and benefit from.

If RI had a rep count of 0, would we treat him differently?

Maybe a tough love approach of '7 day ban to get your ass off the forum and report back when you've taken real action' is perfect accountability.

No doubt many or all of us have struggled to achieve goals. It makes us men and proud to bear that burden for the rewards. I am 42. When a toddler I gave myself a small but noticeable deformity on my lip and as I got older I was teased for it. Cosmetic surgery fixed the outer appearance minus a small scar but I turned into a painful introvert. For various reasons, I stuttered for years and especially around girls I liked. I used resources from books to mentors to movies to getting out of my comfort zone to build relationships. I worked as a waiter for my first job and wanted to quit after a day but made it a year and ended up loving it. I took social dance classes, knowing it was an easy way to be forced to talk with and meet women as well as feel some camaraderie with men. I met plenty of women and dated a few.

It was pain and discomfort and a will to overcome that made me grow. The biggest waste of time in my teens was being 'online' too much, which was FredMail / BBS systems. That time wasting applies even more to all we have access to today. I'm not intending to humble brag but I'm the same age as RI and had a number of disadvantages. Perhaps one big advantage I did have is a very strong supportive though stern father who didn't accept bullshit, and a loving feminine mother. Not a quiet household by any stretch, but we had both responsibilities and rewards. I'm also not 100% white (as Rex is per his profile) although my Mom is so I don't get those brownie points on the SMV scale. I've experienced more than a little rascism and prejudice. Yeah that fucking hurt and also served to motivate me.

To take action in the real world you have to unplug more from the online world. This forum is meant to be more motivation than solace.

Rex, you have no excuse and frankly since you're a peer I'm rather disgusted with you. Maybe you weren't spanked at all, or enough, or lacked a strong father in your life. I respect the men of this forum too much to not say something In favor of corrective action / punishment. We need to do something, because the last thing I want to see is the vast collective wisdom of RVF withheld for fear of throwing pearls before the ungrateful.

TL; dr - Rex your life is too fucking easy. You need more pain to challenge you to grow and you are wearing out the patience of your RVF brothers. You need a spanking, done with love, and some kind of temporary ban with a call to action seems the only action we can take to get through this endless cycle (short of implementing the MikeCF boxing challenge).

[subterfuge]

Take a leaf out of my book, Rexy!
I'm very unsuccessful with girls, and I've never had a girlfriend, and i'm not THAT much younger than you!
Just keep approaching. Start a journal documenting your attempts like me.

[kavi]

Theres just no point. Both myself and Cheetah asked him to elaborate on his last relationship so maybe he could get feedback on what went wrong but he just dodges those important questions.

I mean he asks for advice and when people ask for more information on his past experiences just ignores them.

I think at 42 the issue shouldnt be how to meet/pickup girls but rather how to keep them long term. This is why it's important what happened with his last girlfriend. The guy on the other hand just wants easy answers, get fit, get money, get sociable. All of that is useless and pointless if you dont have the ability to keep a girl interested in you over a meaningful period of time. Anyone can do clown game and get short-term attention, but the long-term value of that is minimal.

[Tigre]

(06-25-2017 10:49 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(06-25-2017 09:31 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

What "action" do you guys want to "see", exactly? I need something concrete.

Stop being a fatty. Get your weight down to a level where you are within a very healthy BMI range.

Approach 7 girls a week.

Suits, you got your ass out of Canada and never looked back.

I think OP should consider the same kind of exit strategy.

My checklist for OP would be:

1) Call three psychologists tomorrow. Find out what contact schedule they recommend and the total cost of doing that. Make a note of that figure.

2) Get his ass to a third world country with white god factor. Spend the budgeted figure from step 1 on partying, gringo groupie sluts and cheap hookers.

I know that the above advice doesn't gel with forum dogma. But if this were a friend of mine looking to me for advice, that's what I would honestly tell him.

He's banging his head against the wall in a tough sexual market. He has some kind of minimum standards, and the girls he can realistically engage with at his current SMV are not meeting his standards.

He should just eject to an easier place and build from there.

If nothing else, it would remove the aura of being a "no pussy getting" guy. Girls can sense that.

[subterfuge]

Yeah, the other option is to just move to the Philipenes or China or something, and you'll be knee deep in pussy in no time without having to really do much, as a result of the white factor! You won't know yourself! Bit like admitting defeat, though, but maybe it's for the best in some cases - At least you get to have fun!
I don't imagine anything would be better if/when you decided to come back to your home conutry, though, but cross that bridge if/when you come to it!

[JayD]

Damn some fire in this thread.

Most likely one of the best threads in 2017, OP better have some results. The advice wasn't intended for me but I will be using what is written here definitely.

[Sebastian]

I see guys are giving out very Honest Opinion that's like a bitter medicine. But in the end that will be beneficial for him.

I wish most people are like this instead of bitching & pointing fingers at Feminism, Liberals, Millennials and all other craps because of their Failure with Women?

[Sebastian]

There are loads of guys like this.
At least he was honest about his situation that is embarrassing to talk about.

They all claim they are very decent guy but women these days only go for top 10% hence there is something wrong with women.

When you try to find problems within yourself, it would be much easier.

(06-24-2017 08:16 PM)Captain Gh Wrote:  

(06-24-2017 07:16 PM)blck Wrote:  

Rex you need to get out of here and go out live your life, stop bursting the abcess on the internet or IRL, each time you're spill things out you're emptying your tank of frustration, the only real motivator to get things done.

Getting encouragements here comforts you to stay in your delusional head space, it's not ok to complain about everything each time you feel like it, you need to fuel on that frustration for real.

I don't believe in therapy unless for real life traumatized people, war vets and others.
Believe me on this: therapists won't find a way for you to evolve, they'll find a way for you to accept where you are.
They're paid to keep you aligned, not to get you out of your conditionning.

Rex is using us members of the Forum as an emotional tampon, where it is convenient for him to "Dump" is anxiety onto us. His huge post count... and some well deserved Reps on the Forum... keeps him getting answers to his recurrent questions. Then it is Rinse & Repeat, Rinse & Repeat and Rinse & Repeat some more from him! Such a enticing Game to play... since I used to be the Lebron James, Ummm I mean the Kevin Durant of it! It simply makes you feel better, while getting some elite shoulders to lean on! Eventually the same people will catch your drift... and ignore you since YOU GIVE THEM PART OF YOUR ANXIETY!

Whether you're blissfully happy, or a sorry sad Fuck, no one wants to deal with more anxiety on regular basis. People will then turn on you... like some members here are starting to turn on Rex. And this one's for you Rex: If you get turned away from here... where the Fuck you're gonna go?

No trolling real question! Where else is there a community of elite men from every field spilling out fantastic advice for free... freely talk about Smashing Hoes... and not get crucified for your conservative views? I'll wait! I hope you get it like I did when I was playing that game:

It leads you right back to where you're at now: loneliness. Except that it'll be even harder to crawl out of without our support. Take Actions on the advice you've been receiving! As long as you just document your struggle, without being a victim, you'll be supported here

[Filbert]

(06-25-2017 02:34 PM)Tigre Wrote:  

[quote] (06-25-2017 10:49 AM)Suits Wrote:  

What "action" do you guys want to "see", exactly? I need something concrete.

2) Get his ass to a third world country with white god factor. Spend the budgeted figure from step 1 on partying, gringo groupie sluts and cheap hookers.

If nothing else, it would remove the aura of being a "no pussy getting" guy. Girls can sense that.

I agree with this comment. He should go to Tijuana (closer than Thailand) to engage with some cheap putas.

[Phoenix]

So has Rex decided to commit to anything?

[RexImperator]

I received a temporary three-day ban and 90 day warning for this thread so it's probably best if I don't post much about this topic.

However, feel free to PM me.

[PapayaTapper]

(06-25-2017 10:06 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

If you are talking about the help from Gio over the phone (which was great), most of that was about a specific girl/situation which no longer applies.

Id wager it all still applies

(06-30-2017 05:54 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I received a temporary three-day ban and 90 day warning for this thread so it's probably best if I don't post much about this topic.

However, feel free to PM me.

Id suggest rather than solicit new advice you take the 90 days to reflect on and review the copious amounts of insight and actionable advice given to you.

Its as if youre seacrhing for some type of magic incantation to do the work for you. RVF likely isn't the place to source it.

Youre either going to change or youre not.

[blck]

Rex need to act not to reflect!
Rex got some self-esteem/self-trust issues, most of the threads Rex created show constant need of approval and reassurance by peers, this can be inverted by taking actions only, any actions, even the slightest will shift the 1st gear.
No need to think, in fact deactivating the brain and giving the steering wheel back to the body (mostly balls) might be the only solution that could get Rex out of this messy spiral.

"The True Believer : Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements" written in 1951 by Eric Hoffer where Hoffer basically worries about the fact that the western contemporary society fills gradually with dangerous human material, very strongly suggestionnable (no strong will/need to belong and have their every thoughts approved by peers before taking action).
Nowadays, we keep living with safety nets and this make the passage from adolescence to adulthood, major element in the self-respect, delayed (if even finished) because no meaningful actions are taken (it gives young adults playing PS4, going in club to get wasted and not investing or failing tremendously in relationship and when fiction are made about people getting out of this "mode" they're made top10 movies of all times (into the wild, fight club)).
The proportion of people looking for answers and meanings outside of themselves is in constant increase.

Then, reading those patterns, everything make sense, you understand why RSD look like a cult and keep getting followers and why a great movie like "the wave" (where you learn how to create a devoted army) must stay hidden to the commoners.

Rex just need to do something and things will fall back in their places, you put your flaws out there for everyone to see so stop, take what they gave you and start acting, one at a time, and then only, report back.

My 02c

[Sebastian]

I dont think counseling will do anything since they are paid to just hear and will give positive comments on anything.

What he needs is a someone who can bitch slap him and comments on all negative things to wake him up like a savage.
We all have granma who will love us no matter how we look and awkward we are. Does it help with chicks?

[Rhyme or Reason]

Overall I think some guys are being overly harsh on Rex. At least he's taken some action and gotten some pussy for fucks sake. Criticize him all you want. But when some even more pathetic newb talks about committing suicide, let's all coddle him. Rex may not be living his potential but at least he's tried more than others who never drew half as much criticism.

[wi30]

Getting pussy vs. killing yourself is a bit of an apples to oranges comparison.