[StackGsMan]

I did a search on this topic and saw some good responses, but I'm hoping to get some fresh and more in depth ideas with this.

I am at a place in life where I want to get as many notches as possible, as well as flags. Right now I am probably juggling something like 10 women and tons of numbers, with some being much more intimate and time consuming than others. I am starting to realize that a large part of getting many notches is not being a nice guy when many of the girls want you beyond just having sex a few times.

What are your thoughts and strategies to get rid of a girl after you get the lay or relationship that you want without increasing the likelihood of a rape accusation, a false pregnancy dilemma, or badly hurting the girl?

I know many girls will easily get over it, but I decided to post this because of one specific situation I have right now. I recently took the virginity of a foreign girl who is in her early 20's. She told me several times before we had sex about how she is worried that I will disappear on her afterwards. I like her enough that I would continue to see her if the logistics of the situation weren't so terrible. She has no car and lives 35 minutes away with no traffic, and because both of us stay with family we always have to go out somewhere. The time commitment and financial commitment is beyond what I care to continue. At the same time I don't want to be a huge asshole and just ghost on her. Honestly if I had my own place and she had a car or a way to get to me and I could just see her without having to leave the house and when it is convenient for me I would certainly do so, but this situation is definitely not worth it for me and it is consuming my time which I could spend finding and laying new girls.

I think with this girl I will humor the situation and not let it get too far out of hand until I leave the city in a couple of months, but I just don't want to make this same mistake again.

[Themin]

very hard nowadays... going through it right now too, want to get rid of a girl i have been seeing for the past few months, but deleting all numbers, socials etc is very hard!!! they always find a way to contact you again!

[Satoshi]

It's not black and white. You can just keep her in the grey. Respond to her messages and be a good friend to her, especially when you promised her not to disappear after you took her virginity. She trusted you to be her first and that's something you can be a bit proud about and in my opinion it also comes with a bit of responsibility. There is no need to arrange to met if it is not convenient.

[kirdiesel]

Honestly I would just tell the virgin exactly what the problem is.

If you actually do like her tell her you'd like to stay in contact until the situation improves and maybe then you guys can try again but the meantime there needs be a cooling off period.

[Noir]

Generally speaking, you can go radio silence or slowly drift apart. I am sure they will replace you.

Nonetheless, you gotta make this clear pre-lay, your personality, what you are into, your end-game for getting out.

This is crucial for any man not willing to settle down.

Now, on to your situation, it's tough because that's what virgins do, they cling on to you like a barnacle holding on for dear life on a sperm whale.

From her perspective, she broke a milestone with you. You are what she waited for, what she trusts in, the man who she wakes up and thinks about, last thought at night etc.

You can be brutally honest but you will come off as a shitbag and that's usually what causes all the drama; the false accusations, hurt feelings, the guilt you will feel.

You are a man, take responsibility for thinking with your cock instead of your brain and do this properly.

This is the price you pay to learn your mistake for the future.

The only thing you can really do is 'friendzone'/FWB her here and keep her in your circle but not immediate circle.

The rest of the women you wanna fuck, have to remain outside of this circle.

Let the logistics do the talking and be 'busy'. It's life, you aren't avoiding her, give her some time via texting etc. but generally be a bit unavailable. Working on projects, being consumed by your immediate surroundings all that jazz.

Time will do the rest.

It's not a zero sum game, you can still treat her well and let her off politely and bang other girls.

[UlteriorMotive]

Nowadays you have to be smarter with where you blow your load.

If you want just a bang and to bounce but you have the feeling she will want a boyfriend or catch the feels quick and hard (virgins are notorius for this so recently I don't even bother) I would stay clear to be safe.

Turning down a notch is not something most guys will ever have to experience.

But in general if I want rid of a girl I straight up tell them my life is very busy and I can't commit to more than what I'm already giving. At times I might not be able to give even that. If they are ok with that then I proceed as normal.

Or gradually fade after letting them know this.

[RexImperator]

I don't have much experience with girls but so far following the motto "just be yourself" works, either on the first date or eventually. Here in the left-wing cities of the northeastern US, admitting you're a Trump supporter can also help.

[Vill@in]

Tell her you decided you're gay.

[DamienCasanova]

(06-22-2017 08:24 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I don't have much experience with girls but so far following the motto "just be yourself" works, either on the first date or eventually. Here in the left-wing cities of the northeastern US, admitting you're a Trump supporter can also help.

This either works REALLY well, and they immediately ghost on you....or they really dig it and fall into your frame. But I have used it successfully, so it's worth a shot.

[PapayaTapper]

Start texting her two or 3 times a day to say "hi", tell her you miss her, and offer to do nice things for her, and buy her dinner....watch how fast she ghosts on you.

Problem solved

Edit: The above works for the average Western girl...not foreign virgins

[General Stalin]

You fucked up by leading her on making her think you will stick with her after she gave you her virginity. Not a very Noble move. Now you have to live and learn from this mistake.

If you genuinely feel like you could date this girl if logistics were different then explain this to her. It will likely put a fire under her ass to get her license/car and I don't know how old you are but you should look into being more getting out on your own asap as this "living with family" thing is going to be a problem with every single girl you want to hook up with, not just this one.

[Splord]

^^
If you think she's a keeper (even for the few months until you leave the city), do what GS said.

Distance can be a boon and a course, you have an excuse to see her less which means more time for yourself but on the other hand you risk her demanding more time together (and more, and more...) until she starts bitching outright.

Which, in turn, gives you a legit reason to end the relationship.

[StackGsMan]

Thanks for all the great responses. Although they all make different points, there isn't a single one I disagree with.

I do agree that this is entirely my fault. I didn't verbally or sub textually give her a reason to believe I wouldn't be her boyfriend. She is 20 years old, spending her first year or so in the US, and was a virgin until last week with me. I am almost 30, and I really should have known better but I've told myself unless there is a very strong reason why I wouldn't bang, go for it to the full extent that I can. The reason was because I have turned down sex with probably as many girls or more than I've even ever had sex with for a variety of reasons. Looking at my goals right now I realize that I would have had much greater memories and more experience if I hadn't stopped. This girl isn't the first virgin I've dealt with, but I really do have to say I am not interested in virgins at this point in my life.

In the past I've had decent success with just gradually breaking things off by communicating and meeting less frequently. I just think moving forward I need to become more icy about the whole process.

General Stalin mentioned that I really need to get my own place. I totally agree. I've realize over the past couple of months more so than any point in my life, and this is an issue I've thought deeply about, that I need my own place. Like I honestly can't think of a single thing I could do other than become famous or filthy rich that will have a bigger impact on my success and relationships with women, and I have tons of flaws.

I am generally pretty much honest with women about the majority of things I say, but the reason I wasn't with her and the other girls I am dealing with now is because I have A LOT going against me at the moment. I don't want to derail the thread I started myself, but her are some of my biggest issues at the moment that are quickly being changed but are still issues now:

1. I live with my parents. Will be moving out in a couple of months, but it is so much harder to get a new notch if you have to do it in a car, park, or hotel if she doesn't have a suitable place herself. Hell even if she has a suitable place I find it takes much longer to get inside a woman's house then to have her come to yours.

2. I have lost 45 lbs in a little over two months, but I am still fat. I am tall and have a good amount of muscle, but being 250+ even at 6'2'' is rarely OK, unless you look like an NFL linebacker.

3. I told myself that I will only spend up to 3k on dating and life expenses (no rent, no car bills, and no major food costs) over a three month period. I have sometimes had to pay out for a hotel, and even an hourly spot I know still comes in around $40. My goal with every new notch is to not spend more than $100 or so on the dating process and up to $200 total including hotel costs. This severely limits what I'm able to do. I've gotten numbers from girls that have answered and talked with me, and then I see their snapchat story where a guy takes them on a private helicopter tour of the city. I'm not saying money beats game in any way, but working on an extreme budget just makes things more difficult. Needless to say I'm going on a lot of coffee and free venue dates, and although they are really working out because my game skills are increasing, it is still a limiting factor.

4. I have decent enough clothes and they are enough for just about any occasion, but my wardrobe is certainly not a positive. I have lots of decent clothes from when I was in shape, but they will not fit for at least another 2-3 months, so I'm confined to wearing dress shirts with jeans most of the time.

5. I live far from the action center in my city. Were I live there are tons of very attractive women, but there is really nothing to do in the area that is exciting, it is pretty ghetto here by most people's standards, and this is an area where you come to live and settle down or because you are broke. The girls looking to have fun, explore themselves, and experience life in this city go to a totally different part. This is not an excuse and I know a lot of girl's that are telling me they are married or have a boyfriend are doing so just to get rid of me or because they aren't attracted or interested enough, but it is still the case that a significant portion of the people in the area are in relationships or have multiple kids. It isn't the same as tons of young 20 somethings who just graduated college running around.

6. I basically have no social circle, and aside from the numerous women that I am cold approaching or meeting up with from online, I have no access to female friends that I can bang or even go out with. I have more than enough female attention and for the last two or so weeks there hasn't been a single day except maybe once where I haven't had a date or something else lined up with a girl I like. Over the past month or so I've done as many as three different dates in a day and setting up two in one day is becoming more of the norm. In fact I am about to shower and leave to meet one chick, then do some day game, and meet another one later in the night. All that being said, I still have no real social circle. My male friends, with a few exceptions (and even those aren't anything worth mentioning) are absolutely useless in helping to get women.

I'll stop there and I didn't mean to change the topic, but that was an incredibly long winded way of saying I am not in the place right now where I can act any way I want and still wrack up experience and notches. This means there has to be some dishonesty and I have to fight for every new notch. I'm not saying I'm not having some success, but it will be a few months before I can be more disinterested and blase about the whole thing.

[General Stalin]

Sounds like you may want to take a step back from voraciously chasing women and focus more on improving your personal station in life. Get out on your own, work on personal finance, work on getting in better shape, get your looks more put together, etc.

[Phoenix]

Just text her pictures of you participating in a furry yiffing party dressed up as a my little pony and balls deep in a care bear.

See, you can rely on this forum to help. I'll take the rep whenever you're ready.

[Gmac]

*disappear*

[bootyhuntah]

(06-22-2017 08:24 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I don't have much experience with girls but so far following the motto "just be yourself" works, either on the first date or eventually. Here in the left-wing cities of the northeastern US, admitting you're a Trump supporter can also help.

This actually works. Experience talking here, lol.

[Rawmeo]

(06-22-2017 10:50 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

You fucked up by leading her on making her think you will stick with her after she gave you her virginity. Not a very Noble move. Now you have to live and learn from this mistake.

If you genuinely feel like you could date this girl if logistics were different then explain this to her. It will likely put a fire under her ass to get her license/car and I don't know how old you are but you should look into being more getting out on your own asap as this "living with family" thing is going to be a problem with every single girl you want to hook up with, not just this one.

This makes sense. The virginity of a foreign girl in the US is worth a lot - even more than in their own countries. She's one of the only girls that are still marriageable in the US. If you ghost on her, it'll be a very selfish and bad move.

Put her some pressure to get her license / car, and try to make logistics work. This will pay off in the long term. Meanwhile, nothing prevents you from banging other girls. Even if you leave the city, if she's really a keeper like I think, she'll follow you.

If you ghost on her, you won't get any rape charge - foreign girls aren't like that. You'll create a jaded girl that'll become a feminist and buy into the entitled girl way of thinking.

So in short, keep her, push for her to get a car, and bang other girls on the side if you need to.

[Steelex]

Just tell her in the most boring, drama free way as possible that you don't want to continue seeing her.

Boring, plain, drama free. Like you're Ben stein from the dry eyes commercial.

Don't give her anything to feed on. Then just leave. And don't talk to her anymore.

This is the best way.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Call me a white-knight if you like, but here goes. You fucked a virgin with no intention of committing, knowing that she thought otherwise.

In some places that earns you a death sentence from her family.

In the west it merely earns you an extremely awkward breakup and some bad feelz, which is one of the thousands of reasons our society has gone to shit.

Man up and take your medicine instead of trying to skulk away like a dog. Not having the guts to face up to this is probably part and parcel of why you're still living at home. You need to face the consequences of your fuck-ups or you're going to be running away from metaphorical deflowered virgins your whole life. Telling her the truth is the very least you should be willing to do.

[StackGsMan]

(06-23-2017 02:36 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Call me a white-knight if you like, but here goes. You fucked a virgin with no intention of committing, knowing that she thought otherwise.

In some places that earns you a death sentence from her family.

In the west it merely earns you an extremely awkward breakup and some bad feelz, which is one of the thousands of reasons our society has gone to shit.

Man up and take your medicine instead of trying to skulk away like a dog. Not having the guts to face up to this is probably part and parcel of why you're still living at home. You need to face the consequences of your fuck-ups or you're going to be running away from metaphorical deflowered virgins your whole life. Telling her the truth is the very least you should be willing to do.

Don't take this as an attack, because however you meant your comment I didn't take it as an attack.

Your concept of morality, from what I can tell by your post, does not apply to me and I hope it never makes sense to me. Also, you don't know the reality and full story of what I believe this girl thinks.

First off, I do not believe, and never will believe, that a woman's virginity is something sacred that should be coveted until marriage or something like that. I don't intend to ever live in Saudi, and I love America and this society and I think sex should be more open around the world. This doesn't mean I think girls that have 100 notches by 25 are good or I would necessarily want to be with one, but this whole virginity thing is WAY to overblown in some people's minds. Yes, there is a reason nature or God or the powers that be caused a woman to have a specific process to physically lose their virginity and there is something to that that we should keep in mind, but it isn't that big of a deal.

The thing about this girl specifically from what I can tell is she wants me as a boyfriend for a period of time. She doesn't want kids with me (she has told me), and she has told me that she is hoping to leave the US and work a job that will take her abroad within a year if she can. She is also foreign, but she is from one of the most liberal countries in the Western Hemisphere when it comes to sexuality. I don't want to divulge it, but if I told you the country you'd more likely think it was less of a big deal. At 20 years old she is already making plans to tell her mom that she lost her virginity, so her culture is not extremely anti premarital sex and all that.

The thing is before she had sex with me she thought sex would be incredibly painful, she thought it was a BIG HUGE deal, and she obviously didn't know what happened. We have had sex twice now and even after the first time I made a comment like, "see, it wasn't that big of a deal like you thought", and she has agreed several times with that comment. All of this combined leads me to believe that I did her a positive, or at worst something neutral. After our first date she kissed me in ways that I had never done before, let me suck her tits, and rub her pussy through her pants. I really didn't even believe she was a virgin at first.

I am not a dog in the least bit, and I am actually a very honorable man. If I wasn't I would have blocked her already and moved on. I made the thread to get opinions for the future, but even before I posted this thread I had already decided I would see her and try to give her the best memory possible of me before I leave not for my own sake or my own satisfaction, but because I want her to be happy with life and men moving forward. At this point I do not think being honest with her about me not caring that much is the best thing for HER. Yes, honesty is great and has it's place, but I care enough about the girl to let her down as gently as possible. That is the exact opposite of being a dog, and it is in my opinion the essence of being an honorable man to the extent that that is possible when trying to live life in the modern world.

Am I supposed to bend to every obstacle that comes my way with women? Don't fuck any virgins? Don't fuck a girl when she gets emotional and puts up last minute resistance? Don't fuck a girl if I will be moving away? I did things like that in the past and I regret it both for myself and for the women. I recently went out a couple of times with a total non virgin in her early 30's from a liberal Latin American country. She got incredibly emotional and paranoid with me, then I mentioned wanting to have sex. Slowly she calmed down and then she initiated the intimacy. When it came close to time to have sex she said she wasn't ready and I backed off. Now she is responding less and less and won't meet me, and this is a 5.5 at best. The type of reasoning you gave makes me think you would say I shouldn't have just driven this one to the hotel and banged it out even though both of us would have been more happy afterwards. About my personal finances and living situation comment, see below.

@General Stalin. I couldn't agree more about the getting my life in order thing, but I've already begun that. I have lost half of a small Asian woman's body weight, I am moving to a new city with my own place in two months, and I am trying to get my wardrobe together as best I can without being the weight and size I want yet. About my personal finances and living situation, I chose to do this. By November 2016 I had enough money in the bank (all made on my own with no help) to travel the world in a frugal way for at least 3 or more years. I'm talking 6 figures. I decided to move back in with my parents because I wanted to try my hand at using my money to make money and start a revenue stream. The reason I didn't get a cheap place is because I didn't want to spend money I wanted to use on my potential business on rent and food in case the plan wasn't successful. Right at this moment I could fly anywhere in Europe and stay at an AirBnb for the two months before I leave and not even come close to spending a sizable portion of my money, and I say Europe because it is generally an expensive continent. I don't do this because I want to build my wealth moving forward. Aside from that though, and aside from having my own place so I can better get laid, I don't identify with Western and American culture where you move out of the house at 18, only call your parents once a month and increasingly less with time, and put them in a nursing home when they get old. Obviously that is an exaggeration, but if it weren't for women I have no issue staying with family of any kind. If I want I can smoke weed here, drink alcohol, stay up all night, bring friends, and even bring girls. I just choose not to.

@The Trump comment. Ha! Just ha!

@Getting this particular girl to get a car and all that. It won't happen. Without revealing too much about her, she doesn't have the financial ability or visa capabilities to do whatever she wants.

Edit: Last comment. At this point now she is beginning to ask me for sex without me bringing it up. If it wasn't so costly or a pain in the ass I would certainly have sex with her like 10-20 more times so she can begin to better understand the process and enjoy it. Like if I had my own place and she would come over on her own when I had down time I would certainly do this for her and then gradually let her down. I am saying all this without you knowing that generally over the past few years I have not cared in the least bit to have sex with any woman more than 3 times at most, and with many I am more than fine with once. So the part about having sex with her a dozen more times would be mainly for her experience and enjoyment.

[heavy]

Didn't take long to pick out the reason for your post

(06-22-2017 03:39 AM)StackGsMan Wrote:  

I did a search on this topic and saw some good responses, but I'm hoping to get some fresh and more in depth ideas with this.

I am at a place in life where I want to get as many notches as possible, as well as flags. Right now I am probably juggling something like 10 women and tons of numbers, with some being much more intimate and time consuming than others. I am starting to realize that a large part of getting many notches is not being a nice guy when many of the girls want you beyond just having sex a few times.

What are your thoughts and strategies to get rid of a girl after you get the lay or relationship that you want without increasing the likelihood of a rape accusation, a false pregnancy dilemma, or badly hurting the girl?

I know many girls will easily get over it, but I decided to post this because of one specific situation I have right now. I recently took the virginity of a foreign girl who is in her early 20's. She told me several times before we had sex about how she is worried that I will disappear on her afterwards. I like her enough that I would continue to see her if the logistics of the situation weren't so terrible. She has no car and lives 35 minutes away with no traffic, and because both of us stay with family we always have to go out somewhere. The time commitment and financial commitment is beyond what I care to continue. At the same time I don't want to be a huge asshole and just ghost on her. Honestly if I had my own place and she had a car or a way to get to me and I could just see her without having to leave the house and when it is convenient for me I would certainly do so, but this situation is definitely not worth it for me and it is consuming my time which I could spend finding and laying new girls.

I think with this girl I will humor the situation and not let it get too far out of hand until I leave the city in a couple of months, but I just don't want to make this same mistake again.

You like her. If you weren't interested, you wouldn't have posted the question. If she was 250 pounds, if you weren't attracted to her, you wouldn't have posted this.

[birthday cat]

StackGsMan - For me personally, I would be careful with virgins. I don't want it on my conscious that I screwed up a girl's mindset regarding men and I think you have the ability to do that when you take a girl's virginity. I'm not saying that you are doing this though. We don't know the entire situation. I think your course of action depends a lot on what the girl's expectations were before she lost her virginity. We can't expect you to be in a relationship with her if that wasn't an expectation beforehand.

There is something else I'm sensing in your posts though. Your approach to getting a lot of notches, getting a lot of flags, and not spending much money seems kind of transactional. You describe it in a way that makes it sound like you aren't having that much fun.

A harsh red pill truth is that most guys who do a lot of notch-counting have some internal issues. I went through a notch-counting phase and I had some issues so I'm not an exception. It was fun a for a few months but after a while I realized I was attacking the wrong end of the problem. Usually it is the younger guys that can do this just for the fun of it. Maybe that is you but I just sense that something is off.

[Leonard D Neubache]

A thoughtful reply from OP which balances the situation to some degree.

IMO once that virginity is gone then it's game on with very few rules of engagement but that magic seal is nothing to be fucked with lightly. You may think "it's no big deal" but honestly that's only because our societies have become utterly degraded against all forms of natural common sense. When I was young I used to think "sex is just meaningless fun". I now know how wrong I was. That's not to say I wouldn't go out and fuck sluts all over again if I woke up 16 and single again because sluts are already dead inside and being #164 is of no relevance whatsoever, but I would still never dick a virgin on sheer principle unless I was determined to wife her up and have kids.

Even if she told me "I don't want a long term commitment and I'm going away in a few months" I still wouldn't believe her because chicks that have caught feels for a guy will say any shit they think will lure them into the sack while secretly holding expectations of spawning mini-Stacks in a nice house in the suburbs. I know this from my secondary school days of being a beta orbiter and witnessing more than a few virgins play out that exact same scenario, witnessing their full transformation from nice-girl to bitter, degraded harpy.

In this case it doesn't seem quite so bad but the reality is that this girl has been just as indoctrinated as you to hold little value in something that is in reality quite priceless. Even in pure monetary terms, the price a virgin can command on the arranged marriage market is streets ahead of a girl with even a single notch, and there is a solid and time-respected reason for that, regardless of whether our morally bankrupt society still recognises it.

Live and learn.

Don't fuck virgins unless you're about to buy that white picket fence.

It's not worth a single notch to know that you were the guy that put them on the path to feminism or slut-dom, and I'm damn sure that you now realise that getting your dick wet a couple of times is not worth the drama of having to let her down gently and manage her expectations all the way out the door.

Do as you will.

[torridon747]

That's a very moral and honorable attitude t'words it. I respect it.

However, wouldn't you rather it was you that showed her how men should behave and set the bar other than some scumbag/regular cucked dude mess her up forever.

Sure it sucks and it's rough but if you play it right I feel you may be able to do her some good.

Obviously banging virgins and leaving is garbage but I don't see a reason why it can't at least be a neautral/good experience for the girl.