[Dantes]

In our modern age, there has never been a better time to be a player. Men who have the right combination of Game, looks and bankroll can have access to quality and quantity of diverse women, all over the world. Affordable travel, dating apps, accessible knowledge of Game and society’s normalization of fast sexual encounters places today’s player in a position that movie stars of yesteryears would envy. One can argue that it has never been easier to get laid in contemporary times. With such conditions in our favor, why are men feeling so disillusioned with women?

There are many answers to this paradox ranging from man’s desire for traditional women to the unfair treatment of men in the western world. The deeper truth lies at the core of men and women’s nature, which is as old as our species.

“Nature’s first gold is green”. Youth is favored in nature in all species. Nothing is more certain than the value nature places on youth and beauty in women. A young, beautiful woman dictates terms and is in the position of selector related to sexual choice. She has the world by its balls and if she is smart, understands the power she yields in selecting her sexual partners. However, this positon in the sexual marketplace is finite and predicated on her attractiveness and ephemeral youth.

Despite all we have learned in the Mansopshere about Game and seduction, women are still the gatekeepers of sex and relationships. They dictate the terms when they are young and desirable.

This is a fundamental law related to women. The second law is directly related to man’s misfortune. Once women use nature’s endowments to select a man, she naturally has an instinct for children. At the moment of conception, all of her energy and focus is directly at her offspring. Men play second fiddle from this time forward and their sole expectation is to provide for the family. We only need to look at modern divorce statistics as evidence of this. Most divorces are initiated by women, largely due to financial reasons.

Even before children, a woman's love and affection for her man takes a back-seat to the relationships with friends and social standing in society.

The most difficult Red Pill for men to swallow is that they will never be loved, enough. If we were lucky, we were showered by love and affection by our mother. This relationship is paramount in our lives and shapes the basis for our Romantic relationships with women, forever. Whether conscious of it or not, we spend the rest of our adult lives searching for this unconditional love. Our misfortune is that we will never find this love from a woman. Brain chemistry and endorphins trick us into believing we have procured this love. In fact, the love a man receives from a woman is nothing but Conditional.

Red Pill truths are not always reported in science, however, Social Exchange Theory explains this wisdom quite well. It asserts that relationships are not predicated on love and commitment, but rather and equal change of relational benefits. I think the most difficult Red Pill to accept is that women will never fully commit to us in the way we expect or tantamount to our commitment to them.

Men are in fact the true romantics 99% of the most popular love songs are written by men. We can blame feminism, hyperglamy of women, smartphones, and social media, but our modern disillusionment is an ancient symptom.

True Red Pill awakening is accepting the world for what it is. There is a reluctance in the Manosphere for using the word “love”. Does it make us less masculine? Weaker? Or is our reluctance based on a painful, old truth? Evidence of this pain is observed in art, poetry, literature and music throughout history.

Our fundamental plight is that we will never be loved and valued by a woman as much as we want. Sexual conquests feed the ego and make us feel good, but it is a short-lived gratification. Nevertheless, it is useful tool for distraction on the love and affection that we seek. Man’s misfortune lies in the reality that a woman will never love you as much as you love her.

As masculine men, finding meaning and purpose in life is our mission, not the procurement of the love we seek from a woman.

[Chase]

One of the toughest realizations indeed is the conditional love.

"The evolution of desire", a great read by an evolutionary psychologist, is full of examples of conditional "love".

As a man, there is no escape from performance, and a mission in life is even the prerequisite for being a desirable man for a woman. A woman must not be the main mission.

Many well-known characters from the PUA scene seem to experience a crisis when they reach their late 30ies, early 40ies if they design their whole life too much around chasing woman. The games changes.

[Lunostrelki]

The truth is that every single person in the world is alone. Ironically once you accept that it becomes easier to coexist with others.

[Premium]

You come into this world alone and you leave it that way.

Look women evolved to be fertile once a month....so it leaves the male questioning and not just coming around once a year

Orgasm and sexual enjoyment is to keep a male around...those organs are were they can be reached

The evolutionary game is to keep the provider for children around (a guy can have as many kids as he can afford...still holds true today) if the provider leaves it was basically game over for the woman and kids.

Meaning a man can flirt with a woman for sex ....a woman flirting with a man for sex could kill her... with a child (pretty heavy evolutionary reward risk stuff)

So the evolutionary trick has always been played on men to keep us around......mans baser instinct isn't "love" it's spreading the seed and being a provider.

Do we ALL know our male loveless role is security and a provider? Certainly we did as recently as 100 or so years ago (5 generations maybe less). Just about every 2nd woman died of child birth...the love was man for offspring to carry on

It's too hard now to get another cook .....when the cooks don't want kids ....or put it off into their 50's ....guys do not identify with old bags...only evolution young healthy strong fertile girls (not a frozen egg from an old cow)

Chicks are certainly aware of their sexual power and short shelf life with fertility, health, beauty and yeah they can do it alone on one income...but make no mistake they also know...it takes two incomes for security and to provide in TODAY'S world. (lesbians yeah but chicks like men)

I still can't believe I'm so shallow to write off chicks after they're prime best before date...I can't help it....I read somewhere women are okay grudgingly to become invisible to men by the age of 35-ish....live with that dudes!......oh yeah we can fuck until we drop dead

Remember also...love and marriage for life ...life meant 30 years maybe less before both people died of old age....love now was not supposed to be for a marriage of 60 plus years (5 percent of couples by the stats..married for true love)....so yeah kids grown...time to split up or stick together.

Beta's are going to have to stop being pissed off about today's world (even in the old world they were probably beta's)...and figure out how to become Alpha's

To re quote DANTE.......In our modern age, there has never been a better time to be a player. (too me meaning a MAN)

[RatInTheWoods]

Great post Dantes, and 100% on the money. Its depressing shit really.

The full swing to a fem-centric society has made this more obvious, more painful and more depressing for men.
Women are encouraged to cash in on their young fertile power, and then society is all geared to replace or ensure the theft of male resources to pay for it.

At least in the old days, society rules ensured a fair exchange of fertility for resources, but now the balance is so skewed, men are dropping out and short changed.

But I'd still rather be a man than a woman.

We have many advantages as well, if we are smart and strong enough to capitalise on them.

We don't have to commit, and only need loose half our resources in taxation to them. This still leaves enough for a quality lifestyle to enjoy the decline.

And who wants to be a weak, emotion ruled, lazy, parasitic whore anyway?

[BetaNoMore]

I moved downtown just this past week and this post resonates all too well with me.

There's so many sexy women in all these bars and lounges in my city but it's all empty. These women are so vapid, have crappy jobs which they think are important and have little to no ability to pair bond as they're all likely fucking multiple dudes.

My roommate is a super cool guy and last night, he had a 3some with 2 relatively normal chicks. It makes me feel so weary to get into another relationship because so many girls are into the degen lifestyle.

It's a struggle for sure. I don't really like what I'm doing, taking part in a degen lifestyle, getting random tail and having sex that comes with no connection but the flip side is having absolutely nothing at all which is much worse. I'd give up this "exciting" lifestyle that I'm currently living in a split second in exchange for a relationship with a loving loyal woman but with all the social media and access to exciting hedonistic living, it's apparent that this desire of mine will not be fulfilled.

Oh well.

[Dantes]

(06-17-2017 04:25 PM)Chase Wrote:  

One of the toughest realizations indeed is the conditional love.

"The evolution of desire", a great read by an evolutionary psychologist, is full of examples of conditional "love".

As a man, there is no escape from performance, and a mission in life is even the prerequisite for being a desirable man for a woman. A woman must not be the main mission.

Many well-known characters from the PUA scene seem to experience a crisis when they reach their late 30ies, early 40ies if they design their whole life too much around chasing woman. The games changes.

Chase,

Part of my intention of this post was to highlight that women will never provide the fulfillment that we seek. The disillusion of men in this regard has been exacerbated by the lack of respect for us in the western world and modern feminism. However, this disillusionment has been recognized by intelligent and introspective men long before our modern societal problems.

You are on the money about high profile PUA guys who experience this crisis. This is inevitable if you place this much emphasis on women for fulfillment in life. It will lead to an existential vacuum as Viktor Frankl wrote about. I have met some of these men and despite their success, women no longer provide the satisfaction they once did....akin to a junkie searching for the once great high.

[Dantes]

(06-17-2017 07:45 PM)Premium Wrote:  

To re quote DANTE.......In our modern age, there has never been a better time to be a player. (too me meaning a MAN)

Thanks for your post.

Yes. I was referring to men.

[birthday cat]

This is a great thread. Some of the newer guys might want to read the original post a few times.

Some of the highlights:

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

In our modern age, there has never been a better time to be a player.

...

True Red Pill awakening is accepting the world for what it is.

...

As masculine men, finding meaning and purpose in life is our mission, not the procurement of the love we seek from a woman.

[Vill@in]

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

The most difficult Red Pill for men to swallow is that they will never be loved, enough. If we were lucky, we were showered by love and affection by our mother. This relationship is paramount in our lives and shapes the basis for our Romantic relationships with women, forever. Whether conscious of it or not, we spend the rest of our adult lives searching for this unconditional love. Our misfortune is that we will never find this love from a woman. Brain chemistry and endorphins trick us into believing we have procured this love. In fact, the love a man receives from a woman is nothing but Conditional.

Great post and this part was certainly true for me. I spent my late teens and 20's chasing girls who reminded me of my mother. Brown eyes, smart ass mouth, very giving and loving nature....all qualities my mom possessed. Only recently have I realized these qualities were tied into my overall pursuit of the unconventional love my mother game me and those qualities were just the means to the end.

As I have swallowed the RP and become more aware of women, I've also seen the AWALT qualities in my mom. Actions and decisions dictated by her emotions, hypergamy (she divorced my dad and remarried another man who was better off financially at the time), etc. But I guess in a way this has also helped me accept women for how they are. I don't hate their nature; they are what they are because that's what they are. I never went through the 'Anger Phase'. Sure I get frustrated with women all the time...but I don't hold any ill will towards them. The better you understand how something works then the better you can use that to your advantage.

I will never find a woman who loves me as much as my mom. And I'll never find a woman that I love as much as my mom either. I have accepted this so now my pursuit of women is for short term (i.e. sexual) pleasure.

[The Beast1]

All love is conditional, even the love of a mother.

Never forget that.

[GreenHills]

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

Men play second fiddle from this time forward and their sole expectation is to provide for the family. We only need to look at modern divorce statistics as evidence of this. Most divorces are initiated by women, largely due to financial reasons.

What exactly do you expect? A child is fragile, it needs to be taken care of. That takes time. I was visiting friends with children yesterday. The little thing needs to be observed pretty much all the time. Still the woman cooked for the family, she was friendly and nice to everyone. Do you have kids or are you just sharing a theory that you have?

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

Even before children, a woman's love and affection for her man takes a back-seat to the relationships with friends and social standing in society.

That has never been my experience. Really.

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

Man’s misfortune lies in the reality that a woman will never love you as much as you love her.

That hasn't been my experience either.

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

As masculine men, finding meaning and purpose in life is our mission, not the procurement of the love we seek from a woman.

You're disappointed that you're not finding some woman to shower you with love and make everything else pale in comparison. Since you're not finding her, you're realizing that you have to live some life outside of that miracle love.

I'm not expecting miracle love from a woman. I expect a nice woman who has her shit together and is reliable for raising children. Someone who's emotionally stable, happy, nice, can stay in good shape and can cook. And yes, I need a woman that loves me, of course - I don't go for women that are not into me - that's one of my main rules.

Maybe I'm part of the supposed 1% of men that are not romantic?

[Dantes]

(06-19-2017 11:23 AM)GreenHills Wrote:  

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

Men play second fiddle from this time forward and their sole expectation is to provide for the family. We only need to look at modern divorce statistics as evidence of this. Most divorces are initiated by women, largely due to financial reasons.

What exactly do you expect? A child is fragile, it needs to be taken care of. That takes time. I was visiting friends with children yesterday. The little thing needs to be observed pretty much all the time. Still the woman cooked for the family, she was friendly and nice to everyone. Do you have kids or are you just sharing a theory that you have?

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

Even before children, a woman's love and affection for her man takes a back-seat to the relationships with friends and social standing in society.

That has never been my experience. Really.

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

Man’s misfortune lies in the reality that a woman will never love you as much as you love her.

That hasn't been my experience either.

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

As masculine men, finding meaning and purpose in life is our mission, not the procurement of the love we seek from a woman.

You're disappointed that you're not finding some woman to shower you with love and make everything else pale in comparison. Since you're not finding her, you're realizing that you have to live some life outside of that miracle love.

I'm not expecting miracle love from a woman. I expect a nice woman who has her shit together and is reliable for raising children. Someone who's emotionally stable, happy, nice, can stay in good shape and can cook. And yes, I need a woman that loves me, of course - I don't go for women that are not into me - that's one of my main rules.

Maybe I'm part of the supposed 1% of men that are not romantic?

I appreciate your perspective even if it differs from mine. Nevertheless, you are making faulty assumptions on the intention of the post. This post is not a criticism or a complaint, simply thoughts on why some men are disillusioned. In fact, I have been blessed with the opportunity to having been with some amazing, beautiful women over two decades. Furthermore, I submit that it is the best time to be alive if you want a player lifestyle.

You are assuming that I am being critical of women giving more energy and attention to their children. I am not. You are missing the point. This is the law of nature, but it illustrates that men need to temper their expectations and derive meaning in other areas of their lives. It also underscores the nature of conditional relationships. Within a family system, men are expected to provide for their families. A woman's main role Should be to raise her children.

I never mentioned miracle love. Those are your words.

My point is that despite many factors being in our favor for fast, casual sex, many men are disillusioned with the current state of affairs. I also wanted to highlight that relationships are conditional even though our early experiences with our mothers create a feeling of unconditional love. We can all be armchair psychologists for a moment, but this early experience sets up a faulty assumption of the relationships to come with women. There is no such thing-all relationships are conditional. As Chase pointed out, many men with long histories of success with women come to a point of dissatisfaction, whether they are pursuing notches or connection with women. Thus, it is imperative to find meaningful experiences in life and purpose outside our "Game" life.

[GreenHills]

Gotcha, you're just stating your observations, you're not complaining about the state of the world. My reply was a bit snappy, because I don't like it when people are complaining that the world is not bending to their desires. For me this is what entitlement is.

I still find it strange that you say that a woman's love takes a back seat to her social standing and friends. That doesn't always happen. Actually, it has never happened to me. My girlfriend has girlfriends, but I'm the person that she spends most time with. It's as simple as that. I'm not worried that come Friday evening she'll go out to party without me, I'm not worried that she will attend social gatherings and I'll be left out. That's simply out of question.

My previous girlfriend was more social. She had social things going on on some evenings, that I didn't care for. So what actually? More free time for me. I never got the impression that I'm less important and that I take a back-seat compared to these other people.

And the claim that a woman will never love you as much as you love her. How come? Sometimes the woman loves more, sometimes the man, sometimes it's equal, sometimes it changes over time. To me, a relationship is a lot more than this fleeting feeling. Some years ago I was with a woman and I was measuring the state of the relationship by a deeper feeling that was coming and going - maybe it was love. Now I don't do that anymore, I'm not chasing something so ephemeral. And do you really believe that men always love more? I think there are many relationships where the woman is in love and the guy is not so in love.

[Kid Twist]

(06-18-2017 07:53 PM)Dantes Wrote:  

Part of my intention of this post was to highlight that women will never provide the fulfillment that we seek.

This is the part of Dantes post that I want to stress. The love thing is skewed certainly as he points out (in an extreme way), so I find that his main point is that which I quoted, and I think Dantes would agree.

TheBeast rightly pointed out that in the fallen world, all love is conditional. We have glimpses of it as being something true and far off, but we never quite reach it and what it truly is until we die, although some show us higher levels of it than others.

[Slam]

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

The most difficult Red Pill for men to swallow is that they will never be loved, enough. If we were lucky, we were showered by love and affection by our mother. This relationship is paramount in our lives and shapes the basis for our Romantic relationships with women, forever. Whether conscious of it or not, we spend the rest of our adult lives searching for this unconditional love. Our misfortune is that we will never find this love from a woman. Brain chemistry and endorphins trick us into believing we have procured this love. In fact, the love a man receives from a woman is nothing but Conditional.

...

Our fundamental plight is that we will never be loved and valued by a woman as much as we want. Sexual conquests feed the ego and make us feel good, but it is a short-lived gratification. Nevertheless, it is useful tool for distraction on the love and affection that we seek. Man’s misfortune lies in the reality that a woman will never love you as much as you love her.

Great post, Dantes.

This is SUCH a bitter taste of reality. It's so hard to take, really, especially if one did not even receive good quality love from one's mother.

A man could be under delusion for his entire life in this respect, searching for the kind love that he never got and will never come to him... Such intense existential pain!

[TigerMandingo]

(06-17-2017 10:01 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

As masculine men, finding meaning and purpose in life is our mission, not the procurement of the love we seek from a woman.

Just playing devil's advocate here, but what if enjoying good pussy and fucking it is part of the "meaning" of life? I don't get nearly as much satisfaction from my job, my hobbies, the gym or what have you as I do from fucking a wet pussy and seeing the girl enjoying it.

It feels too good NOT to have meaning, know what I'm sayin'?

[Premium]

Yup TigerMandingp!...and I thought it was just me that thought that way.

I knew an old guy that collected bottles and plastic wrap he put nothing into the garbage saved everything. Bugs were everywhere in his house. He acted that way because he lived through the Great Depression it changed how he went through life (didn't know until he died alone how he lived..with garbage and bugs)

My brain molding years where one of....I ain't ever gonna get laid in this society and I resigned my life too that. (tough realization)

Then LUCK! the 80's hit and all of a sudden OHHHHH YEAH I can fuck and better yet serially fuck with all brands of chicks...then the moral majority set me on the right path telling me it wasn't right to fuck a lot (boo hoo but it seemed so right)

When you can't eat...or in my case fuck....it changes priorities for oneself on how to go through life....I want as many chicks and experience as many and enjoy them....it's my human experience choice it is MY NATURAL. (not everyone's)

I've never wanted anything long term and that's why my marriage failed ( no way was I putting up with a 24/7 365 day a year unhappy women for any life sentence)

I did all the social norms/expectations/retired young/kids raised....but my natural instinct was asleep and it awoke when I left the factory...the 80's for me are back! in 2017 ...I make no apologies for not learning philosophy or building toothpick curios's with my time..I am back where I always felt life should be...wine women and song

[birthday cat]

Some of us know Dantes and he has had a unique set of experiences which make him very qualified to discuss this topic. He's not complaining and I think his comments are based on a lot more than just simple observations.

There seems to be many interpretations of the original post. My interpretation is that all men need to find meaning and purpose in our lives outside of our interactions and relationships with women. That doesn't mean that women aren't important but I think Dantes is saying that women shouldn't be the center of our lives.

This principle would apply to a man who is successful with a lot of women but hasn't achieved the happiness and fulfillment that he desires because he doesn't realize that women cannot provide all of that happiness and fulfillment. Chase's comments about PUAs having a crisis in their late 30s or early 40s is a good example of this.

This principle would also apply to a man who isn't successful with women and is somewhat stuck in his life because of that lack of success. Some men think that success with women is the only thing missing from their lives and finding a perfect woman (who doesn't exist) or a pussy paradise (which doesn't exist) is going to give them the fulfillment they are blindly chasing after.

Unfortunately these men are mistaken and their lives are lacking a lot more than just women. The irony is that those hidden aspects of their lives that are missing may also be what is missing in regards to their inability to find the women they desire.

[Premium]

@birthday cat ( I like the name you picked..birthday boy all year long...LOL...good "thinking")

Being a defeatist....is a big deal for most guys...along with making excuses for failure. (better luck next year)

Total and complete failure is...GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO.

Let's not forget the guys that are into there 30's and 40's are punch drunk from women...they can only go on for so long...I salute them

For every man there is a woman...for every woman a man.....seems fair

Birthday Cat..." finding a perfect woman (who doesn't exist) or a pussy paradise (which doesn't exist) isn't going to give them (men) the fulfillment they are blindly chasing after"

There are intelligent beautiful 10's and lot's of women that enjoy sex ..the only question is what does any given guy want at any given stage of life..and what if the end result blows up down the road?

There is a certain amount of time and commitment to getting a "perfect woman" or a 10... number two is the ability to recognize one when there and act on it.

With regard to a 10...they do the picking in my experience in 2 ways...a) go for the guys with same status as them popular or wealthy or educated men...basically guys that won't cheat with anything below the 10's status (embarrassing) ..b) a peasant 10.... goes for ugly men ( for control, won't cheat, won't embarrass her)

8 or 9's you'll see at nightclubs in small cliquey groups....these chicks get passed around a lot within the clique

as chicks get tossed from clique's from age (the lucky chicks? in the cliques get married and knocked up)....the outcasts adjust to the environment....and have a wide selection on what to do..from Tinder APPS to shopping for men at grocery stores...even strippers

Romance has never been a man's game it's a crap shoot .....We are forced to "Tell a woman what she wants to hear" (we'd rather be honest) and "act according to what a woman wants".....so guys are/have been faking it from the get go.

i like the game and when chicks really want to get know the real me...maybe upfront they should get turned on asking if I like geography or science....not the job/money I have