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How long to gut it out in new city?
#1

How long to gut it out in new city?

I moved to a new town about 4 months ago for work and I'm finding it impossible to meet any quality women here. It's a wealthy retiree area and there is just a void of single young women. Closest city is about 90minutes away which is tough to get any traction on. I moved here from a SoCal beach city. My reasoning was that the job was ideal, and I would have a higher chance of meeting quality chicks, not carasoul riders. But there is nothing here except single moms, feminists and older women. I've been back to Phoenix and SoCal a few times and the difference is huge.

The job is OK, but I'm not feeling like it's the dream job I thought it was. I recently turned 36, and I'm not sure I want to spend the remainder of my 30's in a place that's not conducive to dating younger women. To complicate matters I left a 2 year relationship to come here, which I'm sure is making things worse for me, as I'm not properly moving on since I can't meet any quality females.

How long should I give this situation? I was planning on at least 1 year so I'm not job hopping, but I'm starting to question that with my age. I'm spinning my wheels. I'm trying to stay focused on the gym and saving money but there's bigtime FOMO. Anyone been through this before?
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#2

How long to gut it out in new city?

So you left a 2 year relationship to go to a place that you thought had quality single birds..
You obviously aren't into that girl.

How is the money?? Are you earning lots more in this new job?
Can you go back to your old job?

Without knowing the intricates.....If you are earning heaps more I would put my head down and save, save and save whilst making plans to move back/go somewhere else.
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#3

How long to gut it out in new city?

How big a city is it? If it's a tiny town and dating/getting laid matters to you (and if you're on this forum then it obviously does), then don't waste more than 12 months of your life, max.

It takes a while to get traction in a new city, regardless of its size. Which is why I would suggest you give it a good shot for at least a year. If by the end of 12 months you're still not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel, you can start planning to move on.

Pussy ain't for pussies...
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#4

How long to gut it out in new city?

"I was planning on at least 1 year so I'm not job hopping, but I'm starting to question that with my age."

Dangerous thinking. What happens if at 40 you get a new job? Do you promise to commit 5 years so you don't job hop?

Career aside, it's a trap to be miserable from a personal perspective. Don't be stupid or make a fatal financial mistake, but don't settle, either.
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#5

How long to gut it out in new city?

Quote: (06-06-2017 08:25 AM)Razors Edge Wrote:  

So you left a 2 year relationship to go to a place that you thought had quality single birds..
You obviously aren't into that girl.

How is the money?? Are you earning lots more in this new job?
Can you go back to your old job?

Without knowing the intricates.....If you are earning heaps more I would put my head down and save, save and save whilst making plans to move back/go somewhere else.

Was given a marriage ultimatum. I wasn't there yet.

Money is good, and better then I'd do in SoCal, but I could do reasonably well there I think. Can't go back to old job, that ship has sailed. If I gutted it out here in a couple years I could be balling pretty well, but in light of the recent "money vs game" thread, if the money is not getting me access, then what is the point?
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#6

How long to gut it out in new city?

Quote: (06-06-2017 04:38 PM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

How big a city is it? If it's a tiny town and dating/getting laid matters to you (and if you're on this forum then it obviously does), then don't waste more than 12 months of your life, max.

It takes a while to get traction in a new city, regardless of its size. Which is why I would suggest you give it a good shot for at least a year. If by the end of 12 months you're still not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel, you can start planning to move on.

City is maybe 50-100k.

I'd like to give it a year so I can get my finances in order, and maybe do an extended SA or SEA trip before resettling. My concern is that if I already know this place isn't a long term solution, maybe it's better to bail sooner.
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#7

How long to gut it out in new city?

Money gets you logistics. Logistics gets you access.

That said, if you're going to improve your logistics and put in the effort, then give it a year. Otherwise go back to socal. Either way, don't call your old girlfriend. You bailed for a reason.

Good luck.
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#8

How long to gut it out in new city?

Quote: (06-06-2017 08:19 PM)scenicway Wrote:  

City is maybe 50-100k.

Ouch. Man, 50-100k is tiny as fuck. That explains a lot.

But yeah, agreed with your plan. Go take an extended vacay in SA/SEA before resettling. I'm actually planning on something similar myself for later this year.

Good luck.

Pussy ain't for pussies...
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