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Too soon on the follow up?
03-21-2009, 08:29 AM
Ok, so last night I went out on a first date with girl who I'd rate as an 8/10. Some would say 7/10. Still, I don't think even the G Manifesto would give her a 6.
It went pretty well. We came back to my place, made out, and she was definitely interested, but wasn't going to sleep with me on the first date. Ok, maybe it didn't go thaaaaaaat well, but you all realize what I'm saying.
She's a cool girl and I'd enjoy seeing her more often; here is my question:
We both live near a great lakefront area and the weather should be good on Sunday. Do you guys think that shooting her a text on early Sunday afternoon and asking her if she wants to go for a walk along the lake is an alright move?
My gut feeling says that this is a pretty informal and off-the-cuff way to see her again. I'm confident we could go back to my place afterwards, and despite it still being daytime, escalate from there.
It would also be just 36 hours after I'd last seen her and I don't want to be a smothering, fawning, beta idiot. I haven't been so far, but old habits...
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03-21-2009, 05:36 PM
sounds good
most girls won't sleep with you on the 1st date
"For the true meaning of victory ask the defeated warrior"
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03-22-2009, 05:45 PM
Man, I messed up. Went in for a kiss on the mouth after the walk was over. She turned away. Even worse, the door closed on my floor and I had to ride up to her floor. She planted a kiss on my cheek and walked back to her room.
I should have read it better. It was a careless move.
Even worse, I called her afterward. I didn't leave a message, she called back ten mins later and I missed the call. I called and left a simple message to give me a call back when she gets a chance.
I was going to say (if she'd picked up), "Hey, I don't normally do this but since you live in the building I want to let you know that I wasn't trying to french kiss you good bye or whatever."
I left that message 3 hours ago.
Thinking on it a bit more, I have nothing to be ashamed of, and ertainly nothing for which to apologize (I wasn't going apologize anyway).
I'll just keep number-crunching, gaming, and improving.
The elevator move was cringe-worthy though.
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03-22-2009, 08:49 PM
There is nothing wrong with going in for a kiss. When they turn away, it is freaking awesome. It's like a game, you see how many times she turns away before you get to kiss her. I've had 1 chick turn her head 3 times before she kissed me back. That's my top score, if I meet a chick who turns her head like 5 times I'm gonna marry her ass. The more times she turns away, the more she values herself. I question the quality of a chick who lets me give it to her the first time.
Just go in the the kiss, and be confident. "yeah, i fuckin tried to kiss you. I'm gonna do it again too, just watch. You're gonna like it." that's the kind of thoughts you should be having.
Whenever you called and left that message trying to explain your kissing attempt, that is an immediate sign of insecurity. You have a great attitude about improving your skills though. You are going to win with that attitude, as long as you keep it.
If the elevator move was "stay on just to go up to her floor", that was a badass move. You are a man. Men have needs. How in the hell is it wrong to pursue whatever you desire? It's not going to happen unless you make it happen. Nothing wrong with trying ANYTHING. Unless it's rape, then it becomes questionable.
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03-22-2009, 10:06 PM
haha, I love when they turn away...that's where the fun is.
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03-24-2009, 04:27 AM
You rock. A gutsy move.
Tell yourself that.
Another girl would have reacted differently.
You don't have to apologise to being attracted to her. You have a duty to make moves, lets face it a girl is not going to french kiss you out of the blue.
"For the true meaning of victory ask the defeated warrior"
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03-25-2009, 07:46 AM
Thanks for the excellent post Trotter.
An additional thought - Day dates early on - not good at all for me.
I don't need the help of alcohol, but nighttime for me is somehow a real catalyst for my moves and their receptivity. People want to make out, and then go to bed. They don't want to make out, do the laundry, meet their sister for dinner, watch tv and then go to bed. Hence, a good time to start a date is 8 or 9pm.
"For the true meaning of victory ask the defeated warrior"
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03-25-2009, 11:27 AM
Thanks for your insight guys. Hindsight 20/20 the lakefront walk was a bad, bad move. I'll stay indifferent and move on.
PS If we can get a little more activity going this forum can be great. I'll be doing my part, though no advising on follow-up dates (for now).
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03-28-2009, 10:13 AM
"I was going to say (if she'd picked up), "Hey, I don't normally do this but since you live in the building I want to let you know that I wasn't trying to french kiss you good bye or whatever."
Hahahahhaaa...... thats a good one... That reminded me of the Sienfeld that was on last night where George gets invited up to her place for coffee and he tells her that it is too late for coffee, and then calls back and leaves a ridiculous message that puts him in a worse situation.
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03-30-2009, 12:23 AM
In Argentina I got an average of 2.5 head turns before the kiss which is pretty respectable.
