[Indy]

I'm at work so I have to make this brief but need advice badly.

I've been seeing a chick. We hooked up several times. Two months in she asks me to get tested. I agreed but never actually scheduled the appointment thinking this wouldn't last. She broke it off a week before this "appointment" so I never followed through with plans to actually get tested - I didn't feel the need. I already know what I've got. We hooked back up and she never brought up the test.

It's been clear from the start I'm seeing other women - I've told her I am.

So she just texted me asking me if a) I ever got tested and b) if I've seen anyone else.

I'm thinking of responding by saying:

a) no, i canceled when you dumped me
b) yes, I have - I told you I would be seeing other people

Both are true and don't admit any fault... Where do I go from there?

[kaotic]

First, don't say shit to her, go get tested asap, for peace of mind.

If you don't have anything - just tell her you're clean and leave it at that.

If you do have something - then you've gotta be honest about it, but in an indirect way.


You should be getting tested at lest once or twice a year if you're leading an active player life style.

[Indy]

How do I indirectly be honest? Do my answers to her initial questions set that tone?

I'm afraid to be honest with the case laws that exist now. Civil settlements ranging from 100k-3m.

[Baphomet]

(05-09-2017 12:10 PM)Indy Wrote:  

I'm at work so I have to make this brief but need advice badly.

I've been seeing a chick. We hooked up several times. Two months in she asks me to get tested. I agreed but never actually scheduled the appointment thinking this wouldn't last. She broke it off a week before this "appointment" so I never followed through with plans to actually get tested - I didn't feel the need. I already know what I've got. We hooked back up and she never brought up the test.

It's been clear from the start I'm seeing other women - I've told her I am.

So she just texted me asking me if a) I ever got tested and b) if I've seen anyone else.

I'm thinking of responding by saying:

a) no, i canceled when you dumped me
b) yes, I have - I told you I would be seeing other people

Both are true and don't admit any fault... Where do I go from there?

I'm guessing that you have herpes then. Did you know this when you were hooking up? When was your last flare up?

I have to say that it's pretty irresponsible not to bag that thing if you're a carrier.

[ChrisGaines]

You don't necessarily have to tell her what you have, but if you knowingly or recklessly transmit an STD, you could be legally liable (both criminal and civil). Some states even impose a "duty to warn;" in that case, not warning a partner and transmitting STD is considered battery. If you truly "knew what you have" and didn't take steps to protect her, you would be deemed to have knowingly transmitted whatever it is.

She asked if you got tested: the answer is yes or no (in your case, it seems "no"). She then asked if you are seeing other people: yes or no. In this case "yes." That will undoubtedly lead to follow-up questions, but she hasn't asked if you have anything. Since you HAVE seen other girls (and presumably have not shared info regarding what you have), this could snowball into a much bigger issue for you.

Probably best to get tested and work on doing whatever you have to do to treat whatever the issue is in order to lower risks of passing it on. You may be getting more phone calls from other girls now. All in all: if you "knew what you have" and continued to put others at risk, that's a pretty shitty thing to do. Might want to be honest with her.

[kaotic]

Shit I missed that part about you saying you already know what you got.

That changes everything in you scenario.

Please tell us what you have, if you don't know, go get tested immediately.

The only way I can see an out of this is scapegoating another girl and just now finding out you're positive for whatever you have.

[wi30]

If I had a nickel for every time I've given a girl chlamydia, I could buy a couple gumballs back in 1985.

[Indy]

Okay false alarm... I felt fucking horrible there for a bit. I'm very cautious and never do anything if I'm flared up and always wrap up.

I'd been afraid and then her line of questions reinforced it. I told her that her questions made me nervous and asked what was up. She said nothing was wrong.

This just reinforces things - that I need to be doubly cautious in the future.