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How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?
#1

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

I've been following that 90 day fiance thread linked to below.

thread-62555.html

It's made me really start to think hard. How would you legitimately know that some woman you meet overseas is really into you? I feel like the women in that tv show are examples so extreme that Ray Charles could see someone has an ulterior motive, but in the real world, it would have to be more subtle.
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#2

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

I think if you're meeting women as an English teacher (whether real or as a front), not a big baller business man, that would filter quite a few of the gold diggers out. They shouldn't have any precise estimation of your value or assets, and whatever they guess should be much less than the reality. Also you won't be provider/LTR-zoned nearly so easily. I think this applies about anywhere, from EE to Latin America.
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#3

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

They're all trying to use you. If they didn't see any utility in you they wouldn't talk to you in the first place.

This is universal for all women.
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#4

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

Always be on guard and don't trust women. Best way to protect yourself.
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#5

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

Yes, they're all trying to use you to some extent, you need to use your common sense and game to protect yourself from the ones who are trying to take more than they plan or are willing to give.
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#6

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

That's a tv show. The point of those are to piss you off long enough to make you sit through the commercials.

But ideally ,yea , everyone wants someone for something. A foreign woman might want you to make her life better and you want her for her 18 year old vagina and life full of deep throats.

He or she loves me for who I am is a fallacy. Both sides have give something. But there are limitations.

Local women are the same just a bit more direct. The first question coming out there mouth is usuallly "so, what do you do?"
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#7

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

This can be tricky because you don't want to come across as a bum that's just aimlessly wandering through, but at the same time you don't want to show off your wealth or you become a prime target for the golddigger/P4P types.

You have to be on your guard. Typically the users will in short order start demanding gifts/money etc.

Pussy ain't for pussies...
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#8

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

Most of the girls I date in Colombia are in their early 20s, they're not poor but they don't have a lot of money because they're in school and/or working a job that doesn't pay all that much money. Its a similar situation in western countries too, most girls in their early 20s don't have a lot of money. I take these girls out to restaurants, movies, bars and clubs and I always pay for everything, its pretty cheap to have a fun night out down there (around $50-80) with meals, taxis, booze etc. So who cares if they're using me? They're giving up their young pussies as Linux mentioned above and they are good company; I get to practice my Spanish, dancing skills and get my dick wet. I don't worry about things like this, I may be a bit more concerned if I was trying to bring her back home but that's a stupid idea anyway so I don't think about it.
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#9

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

Women, whether they're in the U.S. or not, are by and large trying to use you...for something. Just make sure you're getting the better end of the deal.
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#10

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

Quote: (05-05-2017 07:24 AM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

I've been following that 90 day fiance thread linked to below.

thread-62555.html

It's made me really start to think hard. How would you legitimately know that some woman you meet overseas is really into you? I feel like the women in that tv show are examples so extreme that Ray Charles could see someone has an ulterior motive, but in the real world, it would have to be more subtle.

That show isn't indicative of reality. Those men are simps using a mail order bride service and the women are using the man's money to get out of their home lands.

You on the other hand are a man on the ground. I'm assuming you aren't doing the following:

1. Balling out (comfortable, but not arab sheik luxury)
2. P4P (ie the woman asked you for money up front or asks for gifts).

That's really it. A lot of posters above seem jaded, but most people (especially good women) aren't nearly as transactional and simply want decent companionship.

If you're providing that and they're providing you with it as well, what more do you need for a good LTR?
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#11

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

I went the foreign girl route (13 years married as of today).

Time.... The users and scammers don't play the long game. They won't take long to hit you up for $$$ or try to force the relationship (quick marriage and a green card). They will move on to an easier mark if you take your time with the relationship.

I knew my girl for 4 years before getting married.
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#12

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

Quote: (05-05-2017 07:24 AM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

It's made me really start to think hard. How would you legitimately know that some woman you meet overseas is really into you? I feel like the women in that tv show are examples so extreme that Ray Charles could see someone has an ulterior motive, but in the real world, it would have to be more subtle.

How would you know an American woman is really into you?
I think you mean you want to avoid a potential LTR overseas only wanting you for financial reasons, correct?

Assuming you're from the USA.
This wouldn't be much of a factor in Western Europe, and other highly developed countries with high living standards (like Australia, Japan, Singapore etc). If anything I'd say gold digging is more common in the USA than in most highly developed countries.

In Latin America and Asia, aim for middle to upper class women.

Also avoid women that (have to) financially support family members. Or regularly "lend" money to people (very common in the Philippines). I don't mean if she's buying a vacation for her parents like some Chinese do (even though the parents could easily afford it).

If lower class, look at the living standard of her and her family.
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#13

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

Quote: (05-05-2017 12:00 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

But ideally ,yea , everyone wants someone for something. A foreign woman might want you to make her life better and you want her for her 18 year old vagina and life full of deep throats.

Ahhh Linux, you deep idealistic romantic you... You should write hallmark greeting cards mate!

If you weren't 100% correct I'd try say something.
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#14

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

A great test would be to tell her you intend to live in her country. You will move out and set up house with her!

If she is keen, it must be love. If it all works out for a few years in her country then it would probably be safe to bring her to the US.
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#15

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

Quote: (05-05-2017 09:44 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

A great test would be to tell her you intend to live in her country. You will move out and set up house with her!

If she is keen, it must be love. If it all works out for a few years in her country then it would probably be safe to bring her to the US.

Isn't that kind of like saying, if a guy is willing to wait a long time for sex, it must be love? In the end, he still wants that pussy.

Chicks will say all kinds of stuff about how money isn't a big deal, and how which country you live together in doesn't matter either. In the end, she can still say, "Now that we're married, I expect x y and z or I'm going to leave you."

That's pretty much the situation I'm in now. My wife said all that stuff about how she didn't mind if we lived in the Philippines together; she didn't mind if I didn't have money; etc.

I like the Philippines, but I wouldn't want to live there unless we had enough money to start our own business. So I brought her over here. It wasn't too long before she started complaining that I needed to make more money so we could get a better place. She pretty much refused to have any kids with me till our living conditions improved. Then I lost my job, and when the money ran out, she left.

After she broke so many promises, I started to say "fuck it" and didn't bother to do any of the stuff she wanted anymore, because I felt ripped off. I also got disgruntled to the point that I started becoming vociferous about my red pill beliefs, which contributed to my career going down the toilet, but that's another story.

The only woman who will ever give you unconditional love is your mom. Other women do indeed want to use you for something or another.

I guess sometimes there's a great sexual connection, or you both have the same sense of humor, or whatever. They still have material demands too, though. Once she has her visa, you then have to find some other value you can offer her, and this continues throughout the relationship.

The other thing too is, even if she does love you (rather than just the money and visa you offer), that can change, depending on her whims, and/or what other options are available to her. Or she can decide that not only does she love you, but she also has feelings for this/these other guy(s) she wants to open her legs to.

If I had it to do over, I would just pay attention to the How to Pick the Right Wife criteria and disregard any promises the girl makes. If she gives you her virginity and the best years of her life, at least the relationship is starting out with a good foundation.
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#16

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

^^^^
Is this about the one that also used to be a whore and went back to whoring again while you were together?
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#17

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

She talks about building a life with you in her home country.

G
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#18

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

By using this little 4 letter word found all over this forum. Its caused many of men here to completely transform their lives for the better and GYBB (get ya balls back).

G.A.M.E.

[Image: discussionclosed.gif]

Attraction and passion are non-negotiable
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#19

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

Quote: (05-06-2017 03:14 PM)Svoboda Wrote:  

^^^^
Is this about the one that also used to be a whore and went back to whoring again while you were together?

No, that's two different wives.

Wife #1: 24-year-old bisexual Jewish genderqueer borderline personality disordered feminist SJW prostitute Tumblrista (left me two months into the marriage, then had my kid, then died by suicide four months later, after CPS took the kid)

Wife #2: 28-year-old Filipina, described in this post. (That was written shortly after she got here, when we were in our newlywed phase.)

With the first one, I was very blue pill, and ignored all red flags because they were spun as positives. Oh, she's Jewish? That means she can help me create the next top-ten website, like Mark Zuckerberg! Oh, she's a prostitute? That means she's entrepreneurial! Oh, she's a feminist SJW Tumblrista? That means we can relate to each other, since we're both intellectuals and political activists! Oh, she cuts herself and attempts suicide sometimes? I get depressed too; so we'll understand what each other go through sometimes. Oh, she's transgendered? All that testosterone caused her clit to grow and made her hornier. Oh, she's borderline personality disordered? That just creates another way we can relate to each other, because they used to say I was personality disordered too. We're both outcasts, so it'll be us against the world!

Most of all, though, she promised me everything under the sun, and I believed it. As it turned out, she couldn't/wouldn't fulfill her promises. For example, before we got married, she told me that she would be okay with my banging other chicks, but actually it turned out that she got pretty jealous when I was about to try to go bang another chick.

So, the next time around, I figured -- okay! This time I'm going to marry a Filipina, so that I won't have to worry about the bad influence of American culture on her. I'm going to make sure that she's someone with a legit career, rather than a prostitute. And I'm going to make sure that I get very specific promises from her that are crystal clear and unmistakable, to cover all foreseen contingencies. By this point, I had read a few RoK articles here and there, but I wouldn't say that I had yet learned enough to be red-pilled.

Well, here I erred in that I still assumed that desire, or at least compliance, could be negotiated. I failed to take Briffault's Law into account. And I failed to take into account the fact that, all else equal, girls in their late 20s aren't as good as girls in their early 20s. And I failed to take into account that girls who have had their hearts broken a couple times already are damaged goods. In this case, I think there was a certain amount of alpha widowhood going on. She would compare me to her ex; e.g. I'd tell her to suck my dick and she'd say, "Glenn didn't expect me to do that for him." (Blowjobs aren't as common in Filipino culture.)

If there's a next time, I'm going to make sure that I have my shit together (e.g. probably with at least a year's tenure at whatever job I'm at), and I'm going to look for an 18-year-old virgin who doesn't use Facebook. Even then, though, I have to wonder, once you slap that ring on her, what's to keep her from getting fat, cutting her hair short, and doing other stuff you'd rather she not do? Oh, use dread game on her? How are you going to do that after you have kids together?

I'm a little bit behind the 8-ball right now with regard to my career, in that my profession is accounting, yet if you google me, there are all these news articles about how I'm a convicted felon, which tends to preclude me from holding accounting jobs. Plus there's the fact that my job performance at every trade I've gotten into has tended to be marginal at best anyway. Maybe I should just stay single and not reproduce, because I'm not in the greatest position to support a wife and kids, unless I happen to win the lottery.

You know how it's so common to look back and say, "Gee, if I could only rewind to the past, and live my 20s again with the knowledge I have now"? That thought crosses my mind sometimes, but then I wonder if it would've made any difference. Therefore, I feel more as though I'd like to have an opportunity to reroll my character and get some different strengths. Since that's not an option, I guess I have to come up with some other idea.

The plan was, my second wife was going to start a business in the U.S., and I would work with her on that business. That didn't happen, because it turned out she wasn't able to come up with a business idea. As MCGOO put it, you have to adjust the estimates women give you: "Notches times three. Women's plans that come to fruition: divide by three."
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#20

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

The simple answer is: You just know it. Just check if she asks you to buy expensive stuff. I recently cut a gold digger out of my rotation. She was working at the bank and I met her there. We banged several times, but after a while, she sent me a picture of a Mazda that she's like to get. I told her it was good, then invited her to bang. Then when she got back home, she sent me again, saying that it was beautiful. I told her that she would need to buy it herself because I'm not into buying expensive stuff for girls. After that I asked her when she would come to my place, and 2 days later she replied "I'm quite busy with work, it might take a while, I'll let you know when I am free". As you see, I weeded out a gold digger just by holding frame. It all boils down to that simple sentence:

"You just know it".
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#21

How do you know if a woman you meet outside the US isn't just trying to use you?

This is how you know
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