[Thinking Out Loud]

(06-29-2017 05:42 AM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

Whether it's true or not is irrelevant - she's turning you down. Next.

If she really had a boyfriend but was interested in you, she wouldn't even mention it at all. Just like when I game girls - I don't tell them that I'm married.

So she's shooting you down. Eject.

Then why do girls like that even stay in the conversation and don't start walking away?

[Jetset]

(06-29-2017 05:59 AM)Thinking Out Loud Wrote:  

Then why do girls like that even stay in the conversation and don't start walking away?

#1) Attention/validation. She will let you do this for months if you want to make her feel good about herself, all the while protesting that she has a boyfriend. 80% of the time, you will never get her tits out. Just remember that women's currency is attention/validation, and you are now paying her for nothing. She doesn't feel bad, because in woman-brain, she already told you this is now a charity effort to make her happy.

#2) She's curious and still wants to see what's going to happen.

#3) She feels bad being direct, but still wants out of this interaction.

To the original topic,

The other posters are right that this usually means "go away", but not always. Play it straight. Get a social media/number close if you can and walk out. If you have any further interactions through mutual friends, etc., keep it sexually charged and game her friends aggressively.

I really like the line I've seen here: "Boyfriends come and go. Do you love him?"

If yes, tell her that's sweet. Then regardless of her answer, tell her to reach out when she gets bored. Not if, when.

This style (not the same line, but the concept) delivered for me once. Pretty Puerto Rican girl on my commute protests that she has a boyfriend but adds me on social media. I end up banging her married friend that I met through her social media for a while. Then word gets back to her that I did a good job and she starts banging because her boyfriend is an idiot. Elapsed time maybe one year with almost no work on my part.

Other lines you could try:

"Of course you do, but I wasn't going to invite him. This was special, just for the two of us. Oh, well."

"Only one? You need at least two."

[blck]

Congrats to OP

(06-29-2017 07:03 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

To the original topic,

The other posters are right that this usually means "go away", but not always.

It means what you want it to means, if it's after some words exchanged and smiles, for me it mean:
"I'm not always available because I have someone in my life but bring the fun so keep going and convince me..."

Keep shooting the shit is always the right path when meeting some wall from a woman because you want to provide her with the opportunity to unleash that inner slut that she try to repressed and also, how will you fuck if each woman you meet tell you "but I'm in a relationship/muslim/virgin..." ?

[Mess O.]

Yeah, I can swing with this. One of my biggest problems continues to be managing to stick with the conversation, as opposed to just bailing myself. There are many indicators that the girl is simply not having it, but I keep telling myself (and others), to let her do the turning and walking away first.

[Sumanguru]

(05-04-2017 06:46 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

If she *tells* you she has a boyfriend, she wants you to go away. Either its true, or its not true but she is shutting this chat down.

If she did have a boyfriend and was interested in you, she won't tell you that. She will date, bang, chat etc and see how it goes for the vibe WAY before she drops the boyfriend tell on you.

Thats my experience, anyway.

This is how I see it. As soon as those words come out of her mouth, there's no longer any reason for me to be there, because either she has a BF and I'm no interested in being part of someone's cheating, or she's not interested. Either way, I should leave.

[Sumanguru]

(06-29-2017 07:03 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

(06-29-2017 05:59 AM)Thinking Out Loud Wrote:  

Then why do girls like that even stay in the conversation and don't start walking away?

#1) Attention/validation. She will let you do this for months if you want to make her feel good about herself, all the while protesting that she has a boyfriend. 80% of the time, you will never get her tits out. Just remember that women's currency is attention/validation, and you are now paying her for nothing. She doesn't feel bad, because in woman-brain, she already told you this is now a charity effort to make her happy.

Gentlemen,

Burn this into your brains. When you give away your attention to a woman who hasn't earned it, you're exactly the same as a slut who opens her legs to any man who says hi. And women respect you just the same as men respect the slut--they don't.

Time is the one non-renewable commodity we have. Don't waste your time.

[churros]

Let's steer this away from ethics. There are too many shades of grey. Hot girls never go without dick. So it's just about what they choose to tell you.

Now, the question is whether this boyfriend line is surmountable, or worth attempting to surmount.

Let's talk from experience. I've kept girls with boyfriends in my life, over the long term, and gotten the bang that way. But often I'm too impatient to keep these girls on the slow-burn.

Maybe in future I'll just cut these girls off outright. But it sucks to do so, because often you can tell they're interested.

[Hypno]

For me it sort of depends on the context of how she says it.

Generally I ignore it, because if I opened her then something about her conduct was inconsistent with her claim to be unavailable.

If she's a little persistent, I grab her left hand and look for an engagement ring. Just staring at her naked ring finger says more than words, especially if you grab her hand. I then reframe as necessary and get her to qualify --why he hasn't stepped up yet, what's wrong with you?

Of course you have to read the situation and sometimes "I have a boyfriend" is just her polite way of saying she would never be interested, so I agree with those above who made this point. However, there is a fine line between giving up too easily and beating a dead horse. My view is you have to have the philosophy to not give up easily to have any success, even if you never need to apply this philosophy. In other words, you have to have a dominant frame and act irrespective of her reaction. Its only when you can do this that you will have success. If you are timid and speak to her in a qualifying frame, then you won't have success.

If you are getting the boyfriend excuse too much, I would be more selective in your cold approaches - try to get small IOIs first - and work on your body language. If you can have dominant body language, you'll get more IOIs and you'll hook more interactions.

[Guitarman]

I think your real problem is not that the girls you approach keep dropping the "have boyfriend" line ( whether true or not is irrelevant ). That is merely a symptom of the real problem you have which subconsciously manifests itself in how you present yourself in the approach, and that the girls give the "boyfriend " response to eject because of your real, deeper issue.

Your real issue is this ; " I really need to end a multi-year dry spell (3 years and 1 month now) and so I really don't care very much what I need to do here, and I can sense that there's definitely a subset of girls that I'm attracted to who are tempted, but for whom I might just need to adopt an even more persistent approach. "

You've just admitted that your extended dry spell is making you desperate. And there is nothing like desperation to put a girl off. Because that signals a scarcity mindset, and a scarcity mind set tells the girl that you are not the sort of high value male she wants to bang.

I've personally found that I do a lot better on a date with a girl if I've recently had some. Even better if I got my dick wet in another woman the night before, or even that morning. It's as if they can smell it on you and that ( probably subconsciously) tells the girl you are a high value male and in demand by the opposite sex.

So I would say you need to get some, by any means possible. Even if that means dating and fucking a lower quality woman ( or two ), basically a "slump buster" as some have said on here. Go for an easier target, get your dick thoroughly wet, fill yer boots as they say in this part of England. Then when you've had some you will be able to trade up more easily to the higher quality girls that you really desire.

[Pointer]

(06-29-2017 05:59 AM)Thinking Out Loud Wrote:  

(06-29-2017 05:42 AM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

Whether it's true or not is irrelevant - she's turning you down. Next.

If she really had a boyfriend but was interested in you, she wouldn't even mention it at all. Just like when I game girls - I don't tell them that I'm married.

So she's shooting you down. Eject.

Then why do girls like that even stay in the conversation and don't start walking away?

You need to take a step back and go through the basics. Women will say one thing and do the opposite. I could ask why would a woman kiss you then ghost ? Why do women give you their number if they don't reply ? Why do women put up last minute resistance when they're wet and ready to go ?

Women nowadays thrive on attention whoring no matter if they are single or not. You can't be sure in which direction the hamster is spinning. You can only stick to your standards and your rules. You can push and try go to for the bang right away, you got nothing to lose if she drops the boyfriend bomb. I mean at this point it's better to propose a fuck buddy arrangement, you'll probably be better off.

[Jetset]

(06-29-2017 12:07 PM)Sumanguru Wrote:  

Gentlemen,

Burn this into your brains. When you give away your attention to a woman who hasn't earned it, you're exactly the same as a slut who opens her legs to any man who says hi. And women respect you just the same as men respect the slut--they don't.

Time is the one non-renewable commodity we have. Don't waste your time.

This is probably the hardest-hitting and most basic game lesson to learn. Disney Culture teaches us the opposite, but it's more like dog training.

You reward good behavior with positive attention and withhold it when she misbehaves. That's true for everything from texting too often to failing to smile when she swallows.

[goodburger]

Odds are you are done at that point but smiling and flippantly saying "who asked you?" or "yeah, me too" sometimes gets the wheels turning.

[Thinking Out Loud]

(06-29-2017 12:04 PM)Sumanguru Wrote:  

because either she has a BF and I'm no interested in being part of someone's cheating

That's the best part of fucking a girl.

[giama]

i didnt read this post, entirely but i saw 3 YEAR DRY SPELL, The anglosphere really is a fucked up place.

Girls can literally have 3 kids in that space of time. I would just knock the game in the head if i had a dry spell that long.

Is it just a dry spell, or literally nothing in 3 years.

You need a holiday to Colombia or Thailand asap

[Sisyphus]

I'm not thoroughly convinced that it's an automatic dead end. The other day I asked a girl out and she paused for a long time, blushed deeply and said very slowly "I...kinda...have a boyfriend... that I usually do stuff like that with...He's coming to pick me up right now, that's why I'm standing here."

You never know, the relationship may be winding down and all the girl is waiting for is the next branch to swing to, or rather to swing to her. If it's not you then it'll be someone else. I don't see what you have to lose by trying to overcome an objection once.

[Cobra]

I've been trying to control myself from posting on this thread but can't help it anymore. There are way too many posts that completely disregard one of the biggest tools in game, persistence.

So, I disagree wholeheartedly with the premise that she's shutting you down by using the boyfriend line. Let's just walk through the logic here.

You are #1 taking her word for it and #2 seeing it as a rejection. These are 2 different components.

As far as #1, taking her word for it, basically you are believing what a woman says. Remind me again, when did we start doing that?

As far as #2, seeing it as a rejection, let's explore some more. Her statement regarding having a boyfriend, maybe it's true that she does, or maybe it's not. In either scenario, YOU are the one ASSUMING that it is equal to a rejection AND that she doesn't want you. Remind me again, when did we start assuming facts from statements women make. Neither of the assumptions is true 100% of the time. Period. That has been proven already even aside from my post but I'll still put color on this.

Of course, before people come at me and say Cobra doesn't know what he's talking about, I'll say this. I have done very little day game compared to some guys here but I have hit the pavement and know the statistics. I have been rejected with this line many times and moved on. However, there were a few times when I didn't and persisted. A few of those times, these were attractive women that gave me legit numbers, just from very little persistence. Other guys I gamed with here, have gotten more. I don't game any more but these experiences added critical components to my understanding of women overall.

Given how much this thread pushed me to my mental edge, I took the time to dig this gem up Analysis of RVF Members Game. Not only a great day game thread but shows one of my approaches related to the subject matter. Basically, the real logic is this: you showed her your intention, she gave you a shit test, you either fail/pass, you ask for the number. You break that chain, it's not her fault. It's yours. That's not rocket science.

I'm not saying girls don't reject you when they say that. Maybe they do but 100% of the time, you are rejecting yourself for sure. Why do that as a man? I mean, some players can tell that it's true and she's loyal to her boyfriend but I know for a fact that if you haven't gotten that much experience with women, you don't know that like they do. Persistence is another tool in the toolbox.

On top of that, blaming the Anglosphere, the West, feminism and every other imaginary element that you have no control over, is also a horrible idea. However, it is one that I see way too often on the forum these days. It's creating a 'crabs in a bucket mentality.'

[Skank_Hunt]

Feld's environment (the "West") is partly to blame, there's no avoiding it, there are far better places to do day game, but you're still right Cobra -- most girls have some guy they are involved with. Taking what they say seriously as an absolute no means cutting 90% of girls you approach out. Maybe some will never cheat, but maybe some are not that serious, maybe some are looking for something different but don't want to feel bad about giving their number out. You never know. So if you've done the heavy lifting of the actual approach, you may as well persist to trying to get contact details. If you do this and scale it, some of the numbers could come through.

Subcoms can be very important. In day game, I've approached stationary solo girl, BF objection, very serious, pissed off look, hand raised as in stop. Clearly hostile. I've had waiting for my BF objection, not believed it, then the BF actually turn up, she was telling the truth. I've also had BF objections similar to those you describe, where the girl is either clearly interested or acting to soak up attention. I've had BF objection like that and gotten through it to the bang. It's hard though. I am hoping the numbers you put in will make the stars align and give you a straightforward "Yes" girl to get you out of your slump. Because they are there, you just have to not fuck up.

[S3K2]

If you have been doing your job with making an emotional connection with these chicks, ihabf line is just her asking you for help for plausiblr deniability...or if your game is shitty, she is trying to get rid of you. You should know which one it is judging how the interaction is going. I.e. Is she smiling at you showing you ioi's? No? Need to work on your game. I get ihabf all the time and my goto is, "are you happy"? If your games tight she will give you something to work with like "well he's a nice guy but I hate how he's always out with his friends". Boom. You should already know what to do with that. As long as you made that deep connetion i.e. "yea I feel you on the ambitious part. When I was younger I was in and out of foster homes and knew I wanted more out of life blah blah blah" the tighter your emotional connectinon or game, the greater chance she is looking for plausible deniability for fucking with you..

[Mayhem]

Daygame Roadblock: "I can't, I've she's got a boyfriend"

No one is talking about this.

[Cobra]

^^^My entire post above was regarding this.

[Mayhem]

A few are talking about this