[Blonde]

There is a girl I met at work who has recently become a FWB.

We originally met at the beginning of the year. Since then we've flirted when seeing each other (occasionally) in the workspace, but nothing outside of that. This changed a little over a month ago.

Long story short - She invited me out to drink with another co-worker after hours and ended up coming back to my apartment with me after the other co-worker left. I should mention that she initiated all of this. When we got back to the apartment, we made out heavily on the bed and got to second base. She then excused herself out since it was getting late.

A follow up happened yet again two nights ago. She invited me out to drink with her alone. Yet again, she initiated and asked if we could go back to my apartment. This time we got all of the clothes off I fingered her/gave her oral. No reciprocation though from her other than some dick rubbing when we made out. Yet again, she excused herself out.

While this seems like decent progress, the kicker is that she has admitted that she had ONS's from a Vegas trip and another from a random guy on a night out. I don't care that she has ONS's. What does get me is that she has not gone all the way, even after we've known each other for a bit and on top of that she has been with me two times in a sexual context. She also puts up a bit of resistance when trying to escalate to the next bases as well.

What do I need to do to get the bang next time? Any advice?

Also thought I would mention:

-She has initiated the heavy make out sessions with me in public on our times out as well.

-She constantly likes to tell me how much other guys hate it when I talk to her or roll by at work. She brings this up quite a bit and gets off on it pretty well.

-Her being a co-worker is nothing to worry about. She is chill and relaxed. She knows I do not commit and references me being with other women, especially when she is in my apartment and we are hooking up.

Thanks in advance.

[Innuendo]

How is she a FWB if you haven't banged her yet?

[General Stalin]

Sounds like you need to start doing some initiating. You sound very passive in all this. You ate her out without getting any play from her? Sheesh.

Next time your back at your place or whatever and you're naked just put it in her. Tell her you want your dick in her mouth etc. Take charge.

[kaotic]

(04-29-2017 08:41 PM)Innuendo Wrote:  

How is she a FWB if you haven't banged her yet?

I've had girls that just came over to suck my dick and we didn't bang, that's a benefit for me.


OP in your case like Comrade Stalin has said, you need to stop being passive and go switch to aggressive.

Choke her, pull her hair, WHEN IN DOUBT WHIP IT OUT, take that bad boy out and have her play with it.

If she doesn't go anywhere near it, guide her hand to it, make sure to get her amped and horny before you do.

A woman can't resist grabbing the dick of a man whose turning her on.



As for the resistance, it's push/pull, 2 steps forward, 1 step back.

Last minute resistance can usually be fought and won like this, but sometimes it takes some time to reel that pussy in that's on the line.

[Merenguero]

(04-29-2017 08:55 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

WHEN IN DOUBT WHIP IT OUT, take that bad boy out and have her play with it.

Agreed. Only two things can happen after you do that. Either sex or she gets freaked out. If sex happens, that's great. If she gets freaked out, you know to next her. It's a win-win. I really don't understand why more guys don't just do that.

Edit: Also, and I don't know if this is unique to me, but most of the time when I get a girl to where I am staying and alcohol is involved, she either strips completely or strips down to a bra and underwear very soon after we walk through the door. In those situations, sex almost always happens very soon. I'm trying to think of a time when it didn't. I can't even imagine a scenario where a girl who is naked or in her underwear would be freaked out by seeing my dick.

[puckerman]

(04-29-2017 08:37 PM)Blonde Wrote:  

There is a girl I met at work who has recently become a FWB.

How many times do we have to tell men on boards like this that doing this is a huge mistake? You met a girl at work--you just put yourself into something that can blow up in your face in more ways than you want.

[kaotic]

(04-29-2017 09:04 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

Edit: Also, and I don't know if this is unique to me, but most of the time when I get a girl to where I am staying and alcohol is involved, she either strips completely or strips down to a bra and underwear very soon after we walk through the door. In those situations, sex almost always happens very soon. I'm trying to think of a time when it didn't. I can't even imagine a scenario where a girl who is naked or in her underwear would be freaked out by seeing my dick.

Interesting, I can't remember any of my bangs doing that.

In all honestly they probably took their jacket off or had their tops still on.

Right after escalation 75% of the time they got naked as soon as things got hot and heavy.


OP Blonde is right - YOU DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT.

Quote:

-She has initiated the heavy make out sessions with me in public on our times out as well.

Sounds like she wants everyone to see that she's yours - this is sometimes a defense mechanism. Or she's just purely an attention whore.

Quote:

-She constantly likes to tell me how much other guys hate it when I talk to her or roll by at work. She brings this up quite a bit and gets off on it pretty well.

This won't bode well for you, these chumps probably will talk shit behind your back. Classic conquer and dividing tactic - she wants other dudes to be jealous of you - once again more attention whoring.

Quote:

-Her being a co-worker is nothing to worry about. She is chill and relaxed. She knows I do not commit and references me being with other women, especially when she is in my apartment and we are hooking up.

Sure she's chill and relaxed - until shit hits the fan.

She knows you don't commit - until she gets mad she won't commit to you or you tell her to fuck off if she doesn't end up banging you.


Keep things in mind - that way you avoid workplace drama.


Escalate, push/pull, whip your dick out - you'll know fast if she's DTF or she's giving you blue balls.

[Merenguero]

(04-29-2017 09:35 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(04-29-2017 09:04 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

Edit: Also, and I don't know if this is unique to me, but most of the time when I get a girl to where I am staying and alcohol is involved, she either strips completely or strips down to a bra and underwear very soon after we walk through the door. In those situations, sex almost always happens very soon. I'm trying to think of a time when it didn't. I can't even imagine a scenario where a girl who is naked or in her underwear would be freaked out by seeing my dick.

Interesting, I can't remember any of my bangs doing that.

In all honestly they probably took their jacket off or had their tops still on.

Right after escalation 75% of the time they got naked as soon as things got hot and heavy.

I drink more fluids than probably anybody, so I'm constantly pissing. A lot of the time, I will immediately go into the bathroom when I bring a girl back and when I get out of the bathroom, she will then be stripped down or down to her underwear or whatever. If she is wearing a tube top, she might keep that on, but take off her pants.

[Blonde]

Thanks for the replies so far.

(04-29-2017 08:41 PM)Innuendo Wrote:  

How is she a FWB if you haven't banged her yet?

What else would I call her? I don't mean to sound snarky or anything, I just thought FWB was the most accurate thing to say for this case.

Kaotic, Merenguero, Stalin, Puckerman -

Looking back at it now (especially last time), the times where progress happened were the moments where I was dominant. Like ordering her to take her shirt off and just ripping her pants off while ignoring her feigned attempt to keep them on.

To clarify, my dick was out and my pants were off too. I put her hand on my dick but it was not really a demand, so she rubbed it for a moment and let off. Even when I was on top of her and had her legs behind her head she was laughing while saying 'no, stop" and pushing my dick away when I was sliding it towards her pussy. I did not make a hard attempt to actually do it though.

Pretty much every time things progressed, I was dominant. Every time there was a roadblock, I was being hesitant and tentative about going for it. She wants me to fuck her, she just doesn't want to be the one to initiate or take responsibility for it.

Next time I'll do what you guys mentioned and just take control. I'm confident that it will be different.

And as for the co-worker/don't shit where you eat, you guys are right, I shouldn't in the first place. If things do go south though, I can just soft next her and grow distant. While she is a co-worker, she works in a different area than I do and I rarely see her during the workday unless I have to go through her area for a moment.

Thanks for the advice again, greatly appreciated. I'll keep you posted on the results of next time.

[Merenguero]

^^^
After reading this post, it sounds like you did everything right and she's just fucked in the head. I would just next her. Also, I've never had anything like that happen and it's a completely foreign concept to me.

[brick tamland]

assuming you get another chance... (girls can go ghost faster than you can blink).

So You've been able to undress her. next step is to Just penetrate. That's really overcoming LMR. Before you get to the LMR part, stimulate her clitoris and verify she's wet.

Anything else is just a comfortable game for her, as she's apparently being satiated by other dicks.

[RatInTheWoods]

Some chicks are just nasty prick teasers.

We know they have done debased and slutty things with other guys.

I'd say two strikes and that bitch is out.

Next time she asks you out, just say NO WAY unless she promises not to blue ball you again.

[PapayaTapper]

This sounds like high school chick shenanigans. Ive only had virgins pull this kind of weird LMR way back in the day.

What worked for me was putting my spam missile in her hand and then kung fu gripping around her hand and basically jerking off with her hand.

Its much better than rubbing one out by yourself. Bonus if you make sure you shoot your load on her somewhere (ideally her face, but stomach or tits will do):
Gotta maintain some self respect after all. (plus you'd be surprised how disgusted initially yet turned on after they usually get)

[Rhyme or Reason]

So what does the "B" stand for in this FWB arrangement? Cuz it sure aint "Benefits"...

[Rekk'd]

I can't believe you ate her out without getting any sex hahahahah that's so funny

[PapayaTapper]

(05-01-2017 01:18 PM)Rekkd Wrote:  

I can't believe you ate her out without getting any sex hahahahah that's so funny

This could've never happened to you because you blow in em first?

[Rekk'd]

(05-01-2017 01:24 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(05-01-2017 01:18 PM)Rekkd Wrote:  

I can't believe you ate her out without getting any sex hahahahah that's so funny

This could've never happened to you because you blow in em first?

Lol In my lifetime I only went down on a girl once and it was a LTR.. never liked it

[Jean Valjean]

(05-01-2017 01:18 PM)Rekkd Wrote:  

I can't believe you ate her out without getting any sex hahahahah that's so funny

That happened to me once. I was a lake house with my co-ed fraternity, and there was this girl there who was about to head back to Texas the next day, so I was probably never going to see her again. We had gotten pretty drunk and for whatever reason I was giving her a backrub (I guess that was my idea of escalating kino, or something) but I couldn't really isolate and escalate because there was a "no hooking up" rule in effect, and there were a lot of people around. She came to my room anyway though after everyone was asleep, and I ended up going down on her, but when I went for the bang she said, "It's the wrong week." (She did indeed have a tampon in her pussy.) Then she said, "You can go back to doing what you were doing, though; that felt pretty good." So I just went back to eating her out.

Then the next day, after she was gone, I realized, "Hey wait, I forgot to get her to suck my dick."

[RatInTheWoods]

(05-01-2017 05:56 PM)Jean Valjean Wrote:  

Then the next day, after she was gone, I realized, "Hey wait, I forgot to get her to suck my dick."

Pretty sure if you tally all the times you've blown and a woman left empty handed, you would be a few thousand in front...

So the odd missfire is just down to the game, we have all been there.

[Gmac]

I would call it a prospect... not even a friend. So definitely not FWB

[Serious Sam]

OP, after reading this thread, I think there is a strong possibility she's fucking at least one guy, possibly more, and you're on the lower rung of her totem pole. She won't fuck you because her slut defense is in hyper-drive, and you haven't done enough to move up from pussy eater to regular fucker (being her co-worker may factor into this). I base this on a couple of things:

1) SHE is the one who invited you out to drinks. How does she respond when you try to get her to hang out? Does she ghost, or is she receptive? Does she make excuses? You're her go-to when she's bored and her other dick is busy.

2) She has one night stands, but will barely touch your cock. Once again, she's there to get hers. If this bitch isn't taking care of you, DON'T take care of her. You got her off, licked her pussy, then she jumped ship. Like I said, you're low on the totem pole. She's got a guy(s) to fuck her sideways, and that's not you.

Others have made the points of taking control and being less passive, and I concur. Put your dick in her hand. I'll take that further, though, and tell you to call it a night if she continues to resist and tries to get you to take care of her while giving you scraps. Fuck eating her out and still ending the night with blue balls. Just stop and tell her you need a good night's sleep. See how she responds when you get her worked up and then abruptly end shit. At the very least, you'll maintain your dignity.

[Blonde]

(05-02-2017 01:34 PM)Serious Sam Wrote:  

OP, after reading this thread, I think there is a strong possibility she's fucking at least one guy, possibly more, and you're on the lower rung of her totem pole. She won't fuck you because her slut defense is in hyper-drive, and you haven't done enough to move up from pussy eater to regular fucker (being her co-worker may factor into this). I base this on a couple of things:

1) SHE is the one who invited you out to drinks. How does she respond when you try to get her to hang out? Does she ghost, or is she receptive? Does she make excuses? You're her go-to when she's bored and her other dick is busy.

2) She has one night stands, but will barely touch your cock. Once again, she's there to get hers. If this bitch isn't taking care of you, DON'T take care of her. You got her off, licked her pussy, then she jumped ship. Like I said, you're low on the totem pole. She's got a guy(s) to fuck her sideways, and that's not you.

Others have made the points of taking control and being less passive, and I concur. Put your dick in her hand. I'll take that further, though, and tell you to call it a night if she continues to resist and tries to get you to take care of her while giving you scraps. Fuck eating her out and still ending the night with blue balls. Just stop and tell her you need a good night's sleep. See how she responds when you get her worked up and then abruptly end shit. At the very least, you'll maintain your dignity.

This sums up my gut feeling the best.

1) My biggest problem with game is how passive and shy I've been. I've only invited her out once and she flaked. I can understand why she did though because it was not a 1 on 1 and she might have felt uncomfortable since there were other co-workers there who she had not drank with before.

2) Exactly. While she's initiated the meetings and hook ups, it does feel like she just wants to be wanted when she might not be getting chased/fucked at the moment. She's at least getting ONS's and tons of attention from the thirsty-ass married guy "competition" in the workspace at a bare minimum. It wouldn't be surprising if she's also getting consistent fucking from someone who hasn't been mentioned too. While I don't care if she is, it's still pretty frustrating that I'm not getting it and am on the lower rung of the totem. Especially since I'm a pretty good looking and personable guy as well.

The unknown variable is how unaggressive I've been with her in general. Especially with setting up future dates and also initiating texting conversations outside of work. I will say the times she invited me out in were when we were already texting and she took might have taken advantage of that.

At this point, I'm split on what to do.

I could take a(nother) shot, be aggressive, invite her out, and escalate the fuck out of it and go for broke. Or maybe I should soft next/flake on her and if she persists, try again and give her a hard next if she doesn't give it up one last time.

Opinions?

[Vill@in]

^ I say go for option B, OP.

Look, you came pretty close to banging her and it didn't happen. It's easy to put the pussy on a pedestal at that point because you got so close and "you'll get it next time!" but that's probably her game. Don't play that game.

Turn your attention to the other women that walk this earth. Forget this one. She had her chance with you. She blew it (by not blowing it, if you're looking for a pun).

[ChrisGaines]

"'FWB' won't do anything with me other than an unenthusiastic rub...." Seems like you're missing the "Benefits" part of that equation. The Vegas guy was interesting enough to warrant a ONS--have you friendzoned yourself? Maybe give it another shot

[LeoneVolpe]

When it comes to girls, I'm of the mind it's better to blow yourself out going for it than wasting your time waiting around for something to happen. Cast a wide net, talk to as many girls as possible, be bold, and you're bound to bang one of them sooner or later.