[BrewDog]

Everyone has their own thing that works for them. I've found that stories can open up opportunities for me.

Imagine you're at your hotel bar and everyone looks bored. The hot bartendress is bored, the cocktail waitresses, and all the patrons are eating their chicken fingers and watching CNN on the tele.

If you tell a funny story, you're now the most interesting guy in the room. People jump in with something to add to the story. All of a sudden, everyone is laughing and having a good time. And you're the interesting guy that made it happen.

[Caladbolg]

I'm not saying to talk endlessly about yourself. I'm saying that if you want to be interesting, half the battle is learning to speak in an interesting way. You can certainly pull hookups on nothing but questions, quips, and body language, but the question isn't about the most expedient pickup, it's about being interesting.

Learning a language is interesting in an abstract sense, but no one wants to hear about all the time you spent memorizing noun cases in Russian. If you can't tell an interesting story with emotion and vivid imagery about an experience learning or speaking the language, then all the effort you put into it pays off socially only with a quick DHV.

Travelling is interesting, but unless you can tell a story, all it amounts to socially is a quick DHV and some photos.

The trick is learning to do it well. Skim through the boring parts, distill the good parts, involve your audience and don't rely on it as your only social skill.

[BrewDog]

(04-25-2017 01:05 PM)Caladbolg Wrote:  

Travelling is interesting, but unless you can tell a story, all it amounts to socially is a quick DHV and some photos.

The trick is learning to do it well. Skim through the boring parts, distill the good parts, involve your audience and don't rely on it as your only social skill.

Nicely stated. These kinds of travelers always annoy me. I'm not sure why because it's truly none of my business how they want to spend their vacations.

But I meet a lot of people like this that just got off the bus, they're in town for one night, and then they get on a bus in the morning. Then they tick off on their checklist that they've been to that town. They spend their entire holiday on the bus but never actually DO anything. It's so they can go back home and brag that they saw every country in South America in 2 weeks. But what sorts of stories do they have from sitting on the bus? Those are not interesting people.

[rudebwoy]

Learn a language

Travel to a place no one goes too. For me it use to be Iceland, now everyone is heading there and I now need to find a new spot.

Have a hobby you are passionate about, for me it is photography. I love the strange looks people give me when they see me with my camera.

All of these you can never have enough off.

[el mechanico]

Go to Dominican republic with other forum members.

[PapayaTapper]

Holy chit...el mech sighting!

[Il Bersagliere]

Talk about that one time when you did drugs
Do drugs and drink alcohol

[Off The Reservation]

Iso who do you know in person that is interesting?

What do you actually want to do?

Btw very few guys in their 20s are interesting.

[Ringo]

(04-25-2017 10:43 AM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

(04-25-2017 10:25 AM)Ringo Wrote:  

Huh? Maybe I'm missing something but I have to strongly disagree.

If you go to a party or have a date with a girl at a coffeeshop, do you just run interview/psychologist game and let her babble?

How do you market yourself to them?

Maybe you're James Bond or a male model?

Do you ever watch stand up comedy?

I'm above-average in looks but definitely no model. My game basically consists of asking her lots of questions, follow-up questions, and squeezing in sex jokes whenever there's a chance.

Just the other day I was on a date with a cute Latina and within the first 10 minutes I told her "You and I would make beautiful babies". She burst out laughing because she wasn't expecting it and that joke set the tone for the rest of the date.

Hey if you can get a girl wet by recounting the time you and your buddies hitchhiked across Australia, then that's great. I'm just saying that's not my style.

Yeah, when you put in those terms, it sounds infantile and ridiculous. But there's a ton of stories that are worth hearing.

I'm not saying you are wrong in the way you game, but you may have a narrow view of what storytelling is.

Storytelling can be both creating a narrative (as used in advertising and filmmaking) or actually telling a story, like Brewdog's scenario a few posts above.

Gaming girls is often like the former. You're creating a narrative in which it makes sense for them to go home with you. Whether you do it consciously or not, you actions, style, wording, phrasing, delivery, ambiance - they all build up a story in their heads.

Either way, actually telling a story is a great way to draw attention, elicit responses and control the room. In dates or with new girls, I'll tell 30 minute long stories and go on wild tangents in which I ask them questions and allow them to talk - but there's always some cliffhanger which make THEM ask me to continue the story, even though we sometimes spend a long time on a related topic.

At parties I'll often tell 10, 15 minute stories and encourage the "crowd" listening in to participate.

For example, if I'm at a party telling a story and have my wingman with me, I'll try to recreate the scene using the people around. If I'm describing a moment when I met a young girl while walking around a bus station, I'll get my wingman and a chick to re-enact the story. It's hilarious and builds rapport all around.

There's two great stories on this post I made a while back. Comedy Central's This is Not Happening is a great resource to see good storytelling.

As for the OP's question...

To be interesting can mostly be equated to being entertaining.

That is - it doesn't have to be inherently good, and it doesn't have to be clow-like or perfomance-like. But it has to eicit a reaction of "I can't get enough of this" or "How far does this go" in the other person.

One way to do that is to have great stories and experiences, having travelled the world, lived abroad, and so on - like others mentioned. Those are your personal experiences that, when shared, work as bait for people to ask more questions and learn from you.

Although I have quite a few of those (much more so than most of my peers), what I really enjoy is doing things another way - mindfucking them.

This approach is very simple but not necessarily easy. It's about creating fun scenarios, posing questions that make people think emotionally and use their imaginations, maybe see things in a way they never had before.

Creating scenarios for people to act out is one, like described above.

Another one is, instead of asking a question the way people usually ask ("What's your favorite food?"), I'll start by dropping something about me ("I was walking here and for some reason I started to think about food. My grandma used to make the best lasagna, my family and I would eat it every Sunday at her place."), and then I'll pose an emotion eliciting question ("What did you enjoy eating the most when you were a kid?").

Instead of asking "So, what do you do for a living?", I'd ask "So, what did you want to be when you grew up?". And start exploring scenarios, tease them, and so on.

It's a subtle difference in intent and wording but it causes a very different response because you're always touching on emotion rather than just logic or straightforward thinking.

[H1N1]

Another thing that I have been doing recently, that I think has been helpful in becoming a more attentive and thoughtful person, is to write each night. I try to reflect on the days events, both little and large. This has encouraged me to pay more attention to the world around me as I go about my daily tasks, and to try to strike on certain observations that provoke some feeling in me when I record them. It also helps me make much more of the books I'm reading, as it encourages me to try to have 'original' thoughts about them.

I am too early in the process to have reaped any significant benefit from it yet, but I do feel that I am more engaged as a result of this, and increasingly so. I am struck, as much as anything, by how easy it is for me to go a day, or several days, with only surface level thinking. I suspect this is true for a great many people. We fall into a rhythm of simply pottering through our lives, and it takes something really seismic to provoke any kind of depth of feeling, or the kind of sustained contemplation that we might take something lasting from.

The process of recording, and taking time to write about the mundane, has helped me look more deliberately at the world around me. In looking closer, I have already found that there is a great deal more to be interested in than I had appreciated. Funnily enough I've found this a useful exercise for getting out of my head.

[crdr]

What H1N1 is relaying is the right start. I have been writing since I was in grade 3. But started rigorously writing every day for the last 10 years.
I found what my true authentic calling was and followed through until it was realized. Mastery is infinite.
No matter what shitty job I had, you learn to listen to that little voice that the masses want you to ignore.
You'll wake up in automatic "Go Time" mode.

Caution though: Being interesting comes at a price. Chicks dig scars for a reason....
You can't just memorize wikipedia and be thought of as an interesting person. You have LIVE YOUR LIFE.

There's nothing like finding that set of hard-wired unique skill(s)you are truly meant do on this planet; How you will adapt and survive.
You have to find what evolution has planned for you and nurture it. LeBron James is a skilled basketball player but probably couldn't negotiate his own contract....

I always recommend going back in time when you were very young and free and see what truly made you happy then.

Another myth about being interesting is thinking that the better the conversationalist you are the more interesting you are. I am a Master Conversationalist.
The #1 Law of Conversation is: Intentional Listening! I know many valuable contacts who don't know my first name. But I know what squadron they served in 1970.
In reality, no one really cares about you. They care about themselves and find you MORE INTERESTING if you can listen and understand their conversation...

In short, when you're happy, you're more interesting. Interesting is state of mind rather than a hard skill. I know this because I know some people who think I'm an ignorant fuck-face.
Can't please everyone... But happiness and being interesting is a 110% commitment.

The chicks I get pick up on this. Because this is a high form of confidence. Who has more confidence? The artist/writer who slaved away for decades honing his craft or some Wage Slave who does his "hobby" on the weekends?

TL;DR: Listen to yourself and listen to others. You will find yourself more interesting and then others will find you interesting because you find them interesting.

[Sonoma]

There's a lot to unpack here.

You're not interesting just because you don't do interesting things, you're not interesting because you haven't been interested in anything enough to actually do it. A huge part of being interesting is being actively involved in the world around you, and not in some blase surface-level way.

Do note as well that being interesting is entirely subjective to the person interested, and I think you have to identify who you want to be interested in you (and everyone interested in you is not an option). People who like nature interest me, people who like soccer matches do not.

Conversationally with most people, the most interesting people are the ones who have a couple good stories to tell, and almost as importantly, make their audience feel like a welcome friend through meaning dialogue. You can't just start by giving a performance and expect people to find you interesting or likeable.

[Araveug]

From my perspective there are many little seeds of truth so far on this thread, I will try to weave some of them together and develop the concept a bit…

Also, I am assuming OP means with men or women, and not just gaming.


For the purposes of our context, being interesting is like having a toolkit - different tools have different purposes, some tools work together but, overall, your tool kit will hopefully get you results. I think the point here is to lead an interaction, keep an interaction going, DHV, build attraction etc. As a side note, being interesting and being attractive share a considerable mount of the same territory amongst men. We know attraction is not purely physical. If you want to engage someone with a specific goal in mind (goal of becoming interesting), you have to make them feel something, anything, good. The best way to do that is to relate to them somehow, depending on your read of the situation. Everything is a tool to make them feel something. Any hobby or activity has to actually appeal to you on a real level - YOU MUST BE CONGRUENT - this cannot be overstated, I mean look at Trump if you need proof.

Following are some truths already mentioned with my thoughts:

Work out - yea, this helps. But just going to work out does not make you more interesting. If you are consistent and have a good routine/program with good diet you will absolutely be more confident in everything you do (thus more congruent) and, to a degree, be a walking dem of high(er) value.

Travel - This is a good one but, unless you are simply trying to get the D into the V that night, you actually should demonstrate an interest in where you traveled. Insights into their culture, politcs, religion many other options etc. For people who are genuinely interested, it will be natural to try to understand a new place - it just comes out in conversation naturally, they seek out specific places, they go on certain websites. These people are focused without trying to be.

Dress Well - if you’re fit, this helps even more. But it also helps everyone else. There are a million guys dressing well. You want to be interesting. Yes, please dress well but don't expect a pat on the back. You are just meeting a standard, not becoming more interesting by doing this. One caveat to this is if you can find a very unique accessory you may be able to intrigue some people, get some conversations started, but not sustained.

‘Cut out lame friends’ - I would change this to ‘Seek higher caliber friends’. You don’t have to cut anyone off to make new friends who are operating on levels above you. You’d be amazed at the insight/stories you will get spending time with high caliber people. Networking, networking, networking. Obviously, you need to be a solid conversationalist to get this dialed in, but something to keep in mind.

Toastmasters/Storytelling - One of the responses nailed it by going agains the grain with the storytelling. A lot of people think telling stories will make them more interesting, but if you are not careful it will just make you look like a tool who likes the sound of his own voice. If an interaction is dying and you think you have a story that flows well, then go for it. Otherwise keep in mind that there is a difference between HAVING stories and TELLING stories. I like to think of each story I have as a way to relate to people; I may drop little bits and pieces as they are telling me a story to show them I can truly relate to what they are talking about - worst case they feel understood/connected, best case they ask me about my story/experience. I blended toastmasters into this point because this is the basic skill/ability to confidently speak to other individuals/groups. This is vital. Toastmasters & stories/storytelling cues are a tool to get your amazingly interesting info out there.
Develop a thirst for knowledge - I am a history guy. It really is just the story(s) of people and places. History is happening right now. One day, people will look back and study the 21st century - well, I get to immerse myself in this historical period, we all do. If you find yourself in a position where not a lot of things seem interesting/appealing to you, then maybe you should consider going down the medical route (thyroid, other hormones, vit D). One could file this under ‘Zest for life’ - no homo.

The list above could be extended by hundreds of items. As I sit here and consider this whole concept I realize that a productive ambition would be to have the CAPABILITY (not need) to speak intelligently into 99% of conversations happening around you. If someone starts talking quantum mechanics, I’m fucked - then I just go to into curiosity mode - sincerely engaged and asking questions…all the while with zero fucks to give that this guy/gal knows more than me in this context.


If I could summarize this in a line it would be ‘Be curious and an excellent communicator.’ Curiosity will get you content and communication is the nuts & bolts.

I hope this helped someone besides just me, I had never put this together, even in my head. Thanks for the good question.

[Celestial]

Travel seems to keep coming up here, but I think it's important to specify what travel gives you specifically and that not all travel is equal.

Case in point, if you go to France or some other western country and stay at a hotel with beach access, you don't really learn much or become more interesting, since that's what every other American does every Summer.

If you instead go running around in Venezuela, take the Trans-Siberian and hang out near Lake Baikal, go on a pyramid tour in Egypt or jungle slashing in Papa New Guinea, now your actually getting somewhere, as you have something other's don't.

Thing is, you gotta do it for yourself, and not just to impress other people. If you come back talking about the 500+ photos you took and are on Facebook, that's not saying you were into it. You were focused on showing others what you did rather than doing it for yourself.

You do a few interesting trips enough times you'll get some breezy stories and experiences that make you a better and more experienced man, which is itself attractive.

[Giovonny]

1. I worked on my game. The more social practice you get. The better you should get at appearing "interesting".

2. I learned how to listen. People will tell you their hopes and fears if you listen. Then, you have the opportunity to ask them strategic questions which will get them to open up even more and thus they will take an interest in you = you're more "interesting". I basically learned how to ask better questions.

3. I improved my fashion. Clothes display your mind.

4. I fixed my body language. Do you appear strong or weak? This will often determine whether or not you are initially perceived "interesting" in a sexual way

5. I practiced not giving a fuck. When this mindset becomes real, people can sense it.

6. I stay in great physical condition. Most people are fat, I am an anomaly.

7. I try to keep my mind sharp. Being dumb is not interesting.

8 . Good jeans, good boots.

9. Cleanliness.

10. Good hair.

[crdr]

(07-17-2017 09:54 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

1. I worked on my game. The more social practice you get. The better you should get at appearing "interesting".

2. I learned how to listen. People will tell you their hopes and fears if you listen. Then, you have the opportunity to ask them strategic questions which will get them to open up even more and thus they will take an interest in you = you're more "interesting". I basically learned how to ask better questions.

3. I improved my fashion. Clothes display your mind.

4. I fixed my body language. Do you appear strong or weak? This will often determine whether or not you are initially perceived "interesting" in a sexual way

5. I practiced not giving a fuck. When this mindset becomes real, people can sense it.

6. I stay in great physical condition. Most people are fat, I am an anomaly.

7. I try to keep my mind sharp. Being dumb is not interesting.

8 . Good jeans, good boots.

9. Cleanliness.

10. Good hair.

11. Great Smile.

[JayD]

After changing my body language in bars, clubs, approaches I definitely see different reactions and receptiveness from people.
Being relaxed, present and comfortable in the social situation parlays that into women when they notice you.
Combined with good fashion sense they will be more intrigued. Have a key item that women can comment on, for example a necklace or cool jacket.
I see plenty of guys here who pretty much dress and look the same, have a varied style where you can dress in a similar way but have a statement piece that makes you different.

[AntiMediocrity]

Mountaineering was the game changer for me, especially solo. I have my drinking stories, but there's no feeling of pride when I recall them and the reaction is also underwhelming.

But when I tell them about wild camping at 2,000m above sea level with no-one else around, I am received with awe. "Haven't you ever had an animal encounter?" "Actually, the only one I've ever had was about 50 metres from a road. I was sleeping in a tent and I heard some rustling. I actually thought it might be a person so I said "Hallo?"". That always brings up laughter.

"But it's scary, being alone no?"

"Not really, I'm more afraid of being with someone, something happens to them and I have to break the news to their family. If something happens to me, they deal with the trauma and the pressure"

"Wow, I never saw it like that"

People really need to experience things on a solo basis more. At least then you can tell the story instead of someone else in your group.
______________________________________________________

When it comes to actually sounding interesting, one of the best things I learned while reading self-help books was that there's no such thing as a boring subject, only a person who makes it sound boring. If you're really passionate about something, or can at least speak passionately about it, ears cannot close. Nowadays you might have to compete with someone's smartphone, unfortunately.

[ProGambler]

Dropped out of uni. Chose an interesting career. Travelled a lot. Gained knowledge in every field I could.

[Rhyme or Reason]

(04-24-2017 01:30 AM)3extra Wrote:  

"The way to be interesting is to be interested. You’ve got to find what’s interesting in everything, you’ve got to be good at noticing things, you’ve got to be good at listening. If you find people (and things) interesting, they’ll find you interesting."

- Russell Davies

This is what I came here to say and for the most part, every single post in this thread is echoing. The question is "what did you do to become more interesting"...

The answer, no matter what it is, always says the same thing:

"I became interested"

[Captian Blackbeard]

Watch dos dos equis ads. Emulate.

[TooFineAPoint]

Made 3 feature films.
Moved to Europe for 3 years.
Read a new book a month.
Got married.
Worked out.
Learned nutrition.
Got divorced.
(Tried to) learn 3 new languages.
Took salsa dancing classes.
Became location independent for work.
Started a side business.
Took kickboxing classes.
Went to meetup groups.
Fucked more; tried all the things I thought I would want to do while fucking.
Backpacked through forests & mountains (fucked on top of a mountain).
Visited wineries and learned how to taste wine.
Taught myself many cooking skills.

In short... lived.

[Khan]

3 things mainly: working out, traveling, salsa dancing.

[Alpharius]

I second what Suits said, learn to tell a story.

It's one of the first things people notice about me, when I start talking the whole room stops to listen. I gesture, I change the tone and pitch, I give those details that make the listener feel like they were there with me, I build anticipation and give clear beginnings, middles, and ends.

It helps that I've traveled and sought out adventure. However, it would all be for naught if I couldn't tell how it all went down.

"There I was, butt naked on the lake enjoying the sun/on a cruise with in the Caribbean/lost in one of the Capitol sub-basements/holding a jack russell terrier in my arms as a pack of wolves stepped out of the woods/having dinner with the prime minister..."

Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.

[debeguiled]

I have a lot of odd, interesting, borderline anarchic thoughts running through my head all day long.

Because I am naturally agreeable and was raised to be polite, I have self censored to the point that I almost don't hear my own thoughts.

When I just say what I am thinking, my life gets about ten times brighter, and I find myself bantering with counter girls where the other customers are all just watching, or starting loud and entertaining fake arguments with passersby.

As long as I keep my comments positive or neutral in tone of voice, not negative, I can say the most outrageous things to girls who work in Pharmacies, supermarkets, wherever, and they play along to the point of surreality.

The problem is that my inner censor is always saying, you can't say that, or that is too weird, or it is so in control that I don't even think of saying what I think.

Obviously, there are some things you can't say, and you have to be calibrated, but for me, when I can let myself be free to express what I am thinking in the moment, I am as interesting as can be.