[Jetset]

(04-13-2017 02:09 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

People here trying to save OPs life and he's railing against it.

I was a bit fascinated that she warned him to be careful with the morphine because he's an "average person" who won't be able to handle it.

What does that make her? It does sound like she knows full well that she's built up a tolerance from long-term abuse.

[kaotic]

(04-13-2017 02:34 PM)Jetset Wrote:  

(04-13-2017 02:09 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

People here trying to save OPs life and he's railing against it.

I was a bit fascinated that she warned him to be careful with the morphine because he's an "average person" who won't be able to handle it.

What does that make her? It does sound like she knows full well that she's built up a tolerance from long-term abuse.

Winner winner chicken dinner - exactly what needs to be pointed out.

[Gótico]

I’ll have another go because I don’t have a paper to write, but I doubt OP will listen. He created this thread with a foregone conclusion, and this conclusion has been pitilessly dismantled by posters; having read the comments in these two pages, he sees fit to reprimand our ‘impossible tastes’, further evidencing the severity of the error from which we are attempting to keep him.

---

(04-13-2017 12:43 AM)Aenema Wrote:  

The man was 26 or 27 when she was 18, I wouldn't say that makes her "old-man loving".

Do you prefer experience-valuing or, perhaps, adulthood-admiring? I could come up with a myriad of similar terms, but my point stands: she went with an older, and ostensibly mental, bad boy. It went awry, leaving her alpha-widowed, but her saviour, Aenema, came along, exculpating her of past ‘errors of judgement’.

Quote:

Not sure where I said she was attention seeking either. In fact, I love that she is not attention seeking. For a beautiful girl she never updates her social media, doesn't have snapchat, instagram, etc, and wears full piece swimsuits most of the time because she thinks bikinis are like wearing a bra and underwear in public. How can you say that these traits are anything but uncommon among normal American girls?

Attention whoring is very common indeed. This I do not dispute, and I can only bring myself to lament the situation; but this is something different, and it must be distinguished from ‘vanilla’ attention working, which is not typically accompanied by past, and present, drug habits. The basic bitches are not as toxic in their attention-seeking behaviour; they post filter-enhanced selfies, but they don’t make threats on your behalf to former boyfriends. It’s evident that she revels in this drama. It’s evident that she hasn’t forgotten him. You’ll do for now, though, and it’s even better if she is treated to a show of two men fighting over her.

If I had to choose between the two, I’d go with the vanilla variety. Being interrogated as to why I haven’t liked her most recent photos is, after all, preferable to fighting a brawl to which I have not assented.

Quote:

I mentioned that I believe she's more intelligent than most girls, and I can't fault her for using a medication to treat herself when she is in severe pain. it is stupid to just sit around and complain about it and not do anything correct? After my interaction with her today I truly believe that she is not currently addicted to anything. But I appreciate the concern for my future.

The whole point of this thread is our concern for your future; it’s why we answer these enquiries on the ill-advised situations into which men gleefully leap out of some puerile infatuation or a staunchness of belief in their inability to get a better deal elsewhere. We don’t know you; you’re not a relative or a close friend, but we’ve still advised you. I cannot comment on your girlfriend’s intelligence, but I do know it wasn’t enough to keep her hamster from falling to a bad boy, heroin, and weed; and I don’t know anything about the severity of her dysmenorrhœa, but I do know that, given her past history, she should stay away from opiates.

Quote:

How nice it would be to meet an 18 y/o virgin who never even smoked weed and only drinks alcohol with me. Unfortunately I am not sure that i would have much in common with a girl like that and do not know that I would be happy in the future.

You’ve changed your line. Previously, you went on about how her flaws were forgivable; her virtues, manifold. Now, however, things appear to have changed, with you showing a bit of scepticism surrounding your ability to relate with a marriage-worthy prospect. If you think this girl will make you happy, off you go, mate. Marry her, I tell you! In five years, you’ll come back, and the option of buying a golden membership will still be there; the ever-gracious Roosh will allow you to change your name to Clean Slate II.

The last sentences of your post are pure cringe, so I won’t address them. If you aren’t a troll, good luck. If you are, I got played.

[Serious Sam]

Quote:

The standards that some of you present for women are insane and I truly think impossible to find. I have met thousands of women and I don't think any of them fit the standards of majority of Rvf forum members.

It always fascinates me when guys come here, supposedly to improve themselves, then make these types of blanket statements. OP, you are talking to men who have met, banged, been in LTRs, and some even married women who met our supposedly ridiculous standards--women who didn't have even 1/100th of the drama your girl brings to the table.

You obviously sell yourself short in life. I know because I remember having similar thoughts when I was younger. You need to ask yourself, do I want to be great man or an average Joe who works a miserable job to support a miserable bitch wife who does a sub-par job of raising his miserable, ill-behaved children?

You want to know how guys like us found better quality women? We railed against the self-defeating attitudes that had been programmed within us from birth, lifted a middle finger to the establishment that constantly told us to settle and play it safe, and worked our asses off and took risks, both failing and succeeding along the way.

When I see comments like yours, it reminds me of why most of us joined this forum: to escape the attitudes of basic normies, to get called on our bullshit so we can become stronger men, and also to share the wisdom we've gained with guys who are struggling with the same mindsets we swore off long ago, but still battle on a daily basis.

Your attitude is one of scarcity, and the attitude of a basic man on the path to living a life no better than those of the millions of miserable fucks surrounding him. Do you desire something better for yourself? Or would you rather blow your retirement fund sending a haggard woman to Betty Ford? You sit here railing against other women, relying on the tired old line, "I don't want to deal with trashy Western girls," but don't really seem like you are too experienced with them based on the way you take everything your girl says at face value. I know, the world can be a big, scary place, and there are plenty of bitchy women with shitty attitudes. Finding a suitable mate is difficult, just like being a great man is difficult and requires constant work.

Either drop the self-defeating, "I'll never find anything better" attitude, or accept a life of mediocrity. The choice is yours.

[MX90]

Simple. Tell her to stop using morphine. Period.

If she complies, continue. If she balks. Walk.

[Vaun]

Aenema - did you give your relationship the good old flush??

[Aenema]

Thought I'd give an update but first I want to emphasize that I don't believe she is alpha widowed, he wasn't really a bad boy. He's a crazy war vet, and actually think the old man was pretty beta. Would buy her Tiffany's and other crap. I guess she was "adulthood admiring". She has told me that she dated him because she wanted to finally have a boyfriend, lose her virginity, and to become a woman. I don't think her advising me not to take a pill the next day is selfish, because repeated daily use will cause dependence and withdrawals. She knows this.

I told her that I was unsure about where the relationship was heading because of her drug use and that I intended to go on dates with a couple of girls I met off Tinder. She cried and told me that she loved me and doesn't want me to leave, but to go ahead on the dates, and that she knows I will be back because she believes that our connection is greater than anything I'll be able to have with someone else. And truthfully, I wasn't into any of the girls. After all, how can some career crazy feminist who meets men on Tinder and has casual sex to my beautiful, thin girlfriend who is smart and awesome to be around that just happened to have a relatively mild drug problem?

She has since quit smoking marijuana but I'm sure she will still take morphine or percocet for her cramps. I feel like this is honestly something I can look past in the grand scheme of things and I really don't think it disqualifies her from growing into a great wife and mother some day. Thank you all for your advice but at the end of the day a man must follow his heart and I am in love with her as she is with me. No one on this forum knows her or knows me so they can only go based off of anecdotes. I guess I am just not as much of a casanova as the men on this forum.

[torridon747]

Good luck dude. I sincerely hope your heart is right but I think you're making a serious mistake.

If you can do one thing - wait a a few (3+) years to knock her up. Be religious about birth control usage until you're absolutely sure she's fit to carry your children. That means 100% drug free at an absolute bare minimum.

[Jetset]

(04-19-2017 01:34 AM)Aenema Wrote:  

Thank you all for your advice but at the end of the day a man must follow his heart and I am in love with her as she is with me. No one on this forum knows her or knows me so they can only go based off of anecdotes. I guess I am just not as much of a casanova as the men on this forum.

Tinder is a false choice: there are other, more traditional ways to meet women who aren't banging strangers off the internet. This forum explicitly encourages the abundance mentality, and we're just being straight with you based on what you've told us.

https://www.inc.com/angelina-zimmerman/d...ndset.html

Most red flags exist in isolation, and you told us what you told us for a reason. It's absolutely possible for you to find a woman who doesn't bring this into your life.

Still, you're your own man and you heard us out. I hope you're right and that you get what you need out of the relationship. Be careful, set boundaries, and good luck.

[kaotic]

(04-19-2017 01:34 AM)Aenema Wrote:  

I told her that I was unsure about where the relationship was heading because of her drug use and that I intended to go on dates with a couple of girls I met off Tinder. She cried and told me that she loved me and doesn't want me to leave, but to go ahead on the dates, and that she knows I will be back because she believes that our connection is greater than anything I'll be able to have with someone else.

I think this was a bad idea, you don't announce your intentions to someone you're unsure about.

You should've done that discreetly.

Upside is it's a wake up call to her, and you addressed the main issue directly to her.

The fact she gave you permission speaks volumes, however, be aware she might be doing the same think, discreetly of course.

[MPD]

From a fellow noob, heed the RVF advice OP.

Trust me, I get it: The special connection, the adoration from her, the urge to help/save her. All natural impulses for a man, especially a young one (you sound young, or trolling!). However, you can't let that blind you from glaring red flags.

Other members explained these flags at length. abusive ex, stalker ex (same one), opiates, pills AND enabler family. Also, how can she be OK with tinder and serious about you and not seeing someone else? At least, one of those three has to be false.

Downgrade her and don't invest any more. If you can't do that, stop seeing her. And be honest with yourself, it'll save you bigger issues later.

[lowside]

(04-19-2017 01:34 AM)Aenema Wrote:  

Thank you all for your advice but at the end of the day a man must follow his heart and I am in love with her as she is with me. No one on this forum knows her or knows me so they can only go based off of anecdotes. I guess I am just not as much of a casanova as the men on this forum.

Godspeed my friend. There is only so much this forum can do. I would just like to say, this forum is not about being a casanova. It's about being well rounded and complete as a man.

[The Breeze]

Just fucking WOW.


The further this thread reveals itself, the more horrific the train wreck becomes.


Oh, and one final tip, Man to Man.

Protect you assets, protect your ASS.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Could be that OP is really nothing special and he's looking at settling low because it seems like a much easier prospect than bettering himself and putting goals on the board.

I'm sure in time we'll get a thread from another new guy titled "Super great LTR has a really, really, really mild case of AIDS."

I'm just interested to know what OP thinks is going to happen when baby comes, it's 3am and the tike is bawling it's lungs out, mama still has pain from the c-section but has to stay sober to breastfeed, only she hasn't had a full hour of sleep in a week and she's coming down off of her monthly fix which she said she would quit during pregnancy but which OP was too chickenshit to chase her on.

I'm sure she'll "rise to the occasion" just as her track record indicates.

[Vaun]

(04-19-2017 01:34 AM)Aenema Wrote:  

Thought I'd give an update but first I want to emphasize that I don't believe she is alpha widowed, he wasn't really a bad boy. He's a crazy war vet, and actually think the old man was pretty beta. Would buy her Tiffany's and other crap. I guess she was "adulthood admiring". She has told me that she dated him because she wanted to finally have a boyfriend, lose her virginity, and to become a woman. I don't think her advising me not to take a pill the next day is selfish, because repeated daily use will cause dependence and withdrawals. She knows this.

I told her that I was unsure about where the relationship was heading because of her drug use and that I intended to go on dates with a couple of girls I met off Tinder. She cried and told me that she loved me and doesn't want me to leave, but to go ahead on the dates, and that she knows I will be back because she believes that our connection is greater than anything I'll be able to have with someone else. And truthfully, I wasn't into any of the girls. After all, how can some career crazy feminist who meets men on Tinder and has casual sex to my beautiful, thin girlfriend who is smart and awesome to be around that just happened to have a relatively mild drug problem?

She has since quit smoking marijuana but I'm sure she will still take morphine or percocet for her cramps. I feel like this is honestly something I can look past in the grand scheme of things and I really don't think it disqualifies her from growing into a great wife and mother some day. Thank you all for your advice but at the end of the day a man must follow his heart and I am in love with her as she is with me. No one on this forum knows her or knows me so they can only go based off of anecdotes. I guess I am just not as much of a casanova as the men on this forum.

You just really don't think highly of yourself. That you would bet your future on a women with a "mild drug problem". That you would possibly co-mingle your finances with her, possibly have a baby with her, or just generally be seen and made known that you associate with her. It will be assumed that you too are a drug addict. In the eyes of the law, who will likely be watching her if she is using/buying opiates illegally, there is no difference. You are now stained with this. You really dont care about your life.

The problem here is not your girlfriend, its you. You have extremely low self esteem, low standards in life, and are the type of guy who perpetuates the problems we see in society between men and women in the west. As you get closer with this woman, and inevitably impregnate her, your life will only spiral downward in every possible way. Unless you are not telling us that you are worse off than she is.

[Jetset]

(04-20-2017 11:17 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

You just really don't think highly of yourself. That you would bet your future on a women with a "mild drug problem". That you would possibly co-mingle your finances with her, possibly have a baby with her, or just generally be seen and made known that you associate with her. It will be assumed that you too are a drug addict. In the eyes of the law, who will likely be watching her if she is using/buying opiates illegally, there is no difference. You are now stained with this. You really dont care about your life.

The problem here is not your girlfriend, its you. You have extremely low self esteem, low standards in life, and are the type of guy who perpetuates the problems we see in society between men and women in the west. As you get closer with this woman, and inevitably impregnate her, your life will only spiral downward in every possible way. Unless you are not telling us that you are worse off than she is.

I think he's learned all that he is ready to learn, but this is the truth.

OP, people are reminding you to play defensively for a reason. If there is a problem here (and there almost certainly is), the minute she believes you can't/won't leave over this, it'll go to hell. She'll always be tempted to seek an avenue to get this other need met without losing you, and addicts lie - period.

Hopefully you're right about things, but from our vantage point as outside observers, it's equally likely that you'll one day end up in the newspaper as part of a no-knock narcotics raid. The "known associate" issue Vaun mentions is real. Eventually, something very dramatic is likely going to happen as a consequence of her prior poor judgment. When she's on the floor screaming and crying - or whatever - remember my words: "this is not your problem". Be ready to leave when you realize that it's time.

[AneroidOcean]

I was curious about how the numbers stacked up on the poll, so I did some quick analysis:

40 votes for ditching the girl, once a druggie, always a druggie:
Total reps: 920 (~43 times the reps for the opposite)
Average reps: 23 (almost 9 times the opposite)

8 votes (including the OP) for forgiving the girl and staying with her:
Total reps: 21
Average reps: 2.625

Other interesting facts:
Only five times more people votes for ditching her but 43 times the reputation points.

Almost NINE HUNDRED more reputation points speaking for ditching the girl versus forgiving her and staying with her.

Yes, OP, your girl is a special snowflake, keep telling yourself that.

[Ben]

OP. Been there done, done that. Not worth it.
She is most likely a BPD candidate. Go read about BPDs and compare her. They do consume you mentally.