[Killarmy]

A pretty long story that I will try to make as short as possible.

3 months ago, I met here in Colombia, this 26 y old local girl that is absolutely fantastic, amazingly good looking (skinny and huge breasts, that could remind some of your guys of another one of my threads), very intelligent, funny, etc... She is pure LTR material and this is definitely what I am looking for in my life right now.

When I met her and for our 2/3 first dates, she basically told me that she was with someone for around 5/6 years (not a Colombian, someone from Europe as well), legally married (!) but that she was going to get out of her relation, that she was going to not live any more with him etc. Thus, I gladly continued to date her. Thing is... the dude is in Europe in the last 3/4 months, they haven't seen each other since then and she still lives in the dude flat.. With the time passing and after being more than 5 years with him, she is a bit unsure now, she has to see him to then be able to decide to leave him or stay with him. But the dude is just not fucking here.

The 4th/5th/6th and 7th dates (something like that), she came to my flat, we had ''pre-sex'' where she was pretty inactive (I know it sucks) but where I would basically do whatever I wish with her body, except fuck her...

Then.. our last 5/6 dates... were basically fantastic because I really have a HUGE complicity with this girl. I feel good with her, we have incredible conversations, etc. etc. Once again, perfect LTR material. But she did not came back to my flat. She told me clearly : she is feeling a LOT for me but as long as she ''is kind of with the guy'', she doesn't want to be unfaithful, something she had never done in these 5/6 years !

Today, the two of us went back from a restaurant with some of her friends in taxi, passing by my flat .. and I was like.. it's super early, come to my flat .. She refused, I was obviously angry and showed her. She wrote to me that ''She is sorry, that she is realizing in nights like tonight how she likes me, that she was so much feeling like stopping the taxi, run after me and just ''let it go'' but that she CAN'T because she is faithful...'' ...

So guys.. I am ok with this situation, I guess. I mean, I keep seeing other girls at the same time, I have like 2 regulars girl with who I enjoy banging, etc. And a faithful girl has no price.

But god damn fucking hell : unfortunately, I lack time, I am going out of Colombia in 3 weeks after spending more than a year here and I REALLY want to bang her before I leave the country ! Her dude will only come back a few days after I am leaving, thus ''nothing will be clear in her mind in the next weeks''. I really feel that if I am leaving without banging her, a LTR will not be possible with her, which, once again, is clearly my objective. And obviously, even if LTR doesn't happen, I think I never wanted so much to fuck a women in my life. (Well, I am actually sure I never did).

Thus : how to convince her ? What kind of psychology ? Anyone had similar experiences ? One could argue that she was already unfaithful when she came to my place, met me so much times, etc., but it seems like ''criticizing her actions'', which is probably not a way to convincer her...
I am personally playing the card ''but if nothing like that happen between us, you will never really realize if you want to be with me or not'' . She would then reply me that she actually already realized so much things with me but that she just can't be unfaithful and that she needs time ...

What would you do ?

Please, guys, no remarks like ''dude, just let her go'' bla bla. I have really no problems at banging women in here. But this is not my main objective. LTR is. And in the last 5/6 years, I only got attracted into the idea of a LTR like 3 or 4 times. Thus, good advices would be appreciated.

[Latan]

OP, let me summarise:

- she's maried with a dude (that she doesn't see often, but that's only what she says).
- at the same time she goes on dates with other dudes (wether she ends up fucking them or not is irrelevant, her intent is there, she's Cheating. Become her husband and she'll cheat on you too.).
- she lives in the dude's flat, so I guess so has no financial independancy : if it ends with him, she has to find an other sucker right away, thus testing your Beta vibe (what can you give her, without getting sex).
- she told you she loves you, after 5 dates (?!?), a clear manipulation tactic to compensate for the retention of sex.

---> Your conclusion is she's LTR material...

If I were you, looking for a LTR, I'd find a girl who's really worth it.

To quote you:

(03-19-2017 02:18 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

''dude, just let her go''

[UlteriorMotive]

Sounds like you're dealing with oneitis.

What makes you think she wont behave the same when she is "exclusive" with you?

Judge people on what they do, not on what they say.

This woman is a thot, she's already proven she is not LTR worthy.

Advice : bounce now before you get in deep with this woman.

[LINUX]

Quote:

The 4th/5th/6th and 7th dates (something like that), she came to my flat, we had ''pre-sex'' where she was pretty inactive (I know it sucks) but where I would basically do whatever I wish with her body, except fuck her

If you were married to this girl and she did that with another guy would you still consider her faithful ?

[Killarmy]

(03-19-2017 02:28 AM)Latan Wrote:  

OP, let me summarise:

- she's maried with a dude (that she doesn't see often, but that's only what she says).
- at the same time she goes on dates with other dudes (wether she ends up fucking them or not is irrelevant, her intent is there, she's Cheating. Become her husband and she'll cheat on you too.).
- she lives in the dude's flat, so I guess so has no financial independancy : if it ends with him, she has to find an other sucker right away, thus testing your Beta vibe (what can you give her, without getting sex).
- she told you she loves you, after 5 dates (?!?), a clear manipulation tactic to compensate for the retention of sex.

---> Your conclusion is she's LTR material...

If I were you, looking for a LTR, I'd find a girl who's really worth it.

To quote you:

(03-19-2017 02:18 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

''dude, just let her go''

Frankly, I hesitated to post in here because what is happening between her and me is pretty complex to explain. And I was sure I would attract this kind of answer.

But anyway :
- She never told me she loved me in like 15 dates. Today, she told me for the first time how strong were her feelings, which she never did before. Definitely not a ''manipulation tactic''.
- Of course she doesn't see him often, the dude is in the other side of the world for the last months, and I can easily know this is not a lie.
- You are right, she is not financially independent. But I told her already many times she could come and live with me and she is refusing. Plus, god damn believe me, she is the kind of girl that could find a stupid fucking rich gringo to take care of her forever ANY DAY of the year. Because she is close to a 10. But that is definitely NOT what she seeks in life, unlike most girls in Latin America though. I am not saying it couldn't happen when she will be 6/7 years older though.

Anyway, whatever I will say, it will probably be judged as lies from her by the community. And I will probably be judged as a Beta. Having spent more than 100 hours with her and having a lot of experience, I believe I know what I am talking about when I tell she is potential LTR. And that she wants to be faithful.

But I understand this will only attract your kind of answer from the community, and not the kind of psychological advices I am seeking. Probably will delete soon.

[Killarmy]

(03-19-2017 02:48 AM)UlteriorMotive Wrote:  

Sounds like you're dealing with oneitis.

What makes you think she wont behave the same when she is "exclusive" with you?

Judge people on what they do, not on what they say.

This woman is a thot, she's already proven she is not LTR worthy.

Advice : bounce now before you get in deep with this woman.

What make me thinks this is :
- I am 100% sure that she never had anything like what is happening between us in the last 5/6 years. Not even a small little thing.
I was just lucky to arrive in her life in the moment that she wanted the most (ever) to leave the man. But the dude is not here and she just ''can't go like that, after spending 5/6 years of her life with him''.

@ Linux :
You have a point. And I stated it : To me, she is NOT faithful since what happened between us happened. And I could definitely tell her that trying to convince her. But I just don't think at all that criticizing her is the good tactic.

[UlteriorMotive]

(03-19-2017 03:01 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

this will only attract your kind of answer from the community, and not the kind of psychological advices I am seeking.

You're getting the advice you deserve, not the advice you want to hear.

You've been around long enough to know better.

This woman is clearly gaming you, there are no special snowflakes.

If you were that important she would already be "yours" and you wouldn't be posting about her on the forum.

[Killarmy]

(03-19-2017 03:15 AM)UlteriorMotive Wrote:  

(03-19-2017 03:01 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

this will only attract your kind of answer from the community, and not the kind of psychological advices I am seeking.

You're getting the advice you deserve, not the advice you want to hear.

You've been around long enough to know better.

This woman is clearly gaming you, there are no special snowflakes.

If you were that important she would already be "yours" and you wouldn't be posting about her on the forum.

I respect your opinion and you could be right.
But no women in the world would, according to you, disagree to have full-sex with a man they like, because they feel like it would be being unfaithful and just don't want anything like that happening as long as they are, at least just a little, still in a relation ?

Also, need to add again, but she is a god damn 10. Or at least, very close by. I definitely think that she is not lying or gaming when she tells me that I am special for her. Because 1) . She is working like a maniac but basically spend ALL her free time with me since I know her. 2) She is receiving SO much attention from a LOT of men (probably been gamed by some members lol) but gives no fuck. She actually shows me some conversations with guys opening her in Facebook, where she is not answering and laughs about it. Bad surprise are not impossible, of course, but she just has no time.

At least, if this motherfucker was back in the country, everything would be much more clear though. Because I would then obviously not accept things if they were as they are now.

Going to sleep, damn 3.30am here.

Thanks for all the answers. Constructive or ''killing me'', it's fine. This is what the forum is for and I can accept all point of views.

[Latan]

OP, your mind is already made, so I respect your decision.
From what I understand of this situation, just keep putting a "nice guy" vibe, talking about a future with her, how you want to settle and have kids, how you can provide, and you'll get her.

Please report with the end result, whatever it is, even in a few months.

[asdfk]

Even if she is as virtuous as you say, which she definitely isn't. You won't get any further towards a LTR by letting her string you along. Wether you are her plan B, C or D, you're definitely not her plan A. L if you were, she would have fucked you or moved in. Let her go, bro.

[Mufasa]

you went on 15 dates without a lay?!

[Mufasa]

(03-19-2017 03:20 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

Also, need to add again, but she is a god damn 10. Or at least, very close by. I definitely think that she is not lying or gaming when she tells me that I am special for her.

You're letting your infatuation get the best of you. She's stringing you along, girls want to fuck guys they feel that strongly for. Chances are you are "emotional" guy on her roster and not the "sex guy".
....Shit I was about to say thats better than "free meal guy" but you've been on 15 dates so....get out

Quote:

1) . She is working like a maniac but basically spend ALL her free time with me since I know her.

How do you know that? You follow her to work? You only know what she tells you. She's "working like a maniac" to keep you from out right questioning what she's really doing...

Quote:

2) She is receiving SO much attention from a LOT of men (probably been gamed by some members lol) but gives no fuck. She actually shows me some conversations with guys opening her in Facebook, where she is not answering and laughs about it. Bad surprise are not impossible, of course, but she just has no time.

There ya go, she's showing you the harmless ones but not the ones that russel her jimmies and get her to go fuck. You're being sold a half truth

Fuck other girls and put this chick on the back burner, you want this to work too bad and thats probably why its failing

[PapayaTapper]

OP is Vance Munson and forum is Hitch

"I think you misunderstood what it is that we do"

[Easy_C]

Don't. Because you're not a douchebag. And because some "betas" out there have a tendency to flip out and bust a cap in you once they get hurt that badly.

[ivansirko]

Really the thread title should be
"how to convince an unfaithful woman in a LTR to be unfaithful".

Once you get her...
"How to convince my woman to be faithful".

Just.....run OP. Run fast, run hard, dont look back.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Quote:

The 4th/5th/6th and 7th dates (something like that), she came to my flat, we had ''pre-sex'' where she was pretty inactive (I know it sucks) but where I would basically do whatever I wish with her body, except fuck her...
...
she CAN'T because she is faithful...'' ...

last 5 dates... perfect LTR material.

This used to be me some 10 years ago

Thank you God, Roissy, RVF, genetics, probability and my former "LTR"'s behavior that I survived unscathed, moved on and improved myself. I hope the OP manages to do that too.

[Killarmy]

Actually, I would like this thread to be deleted, I am not sure I can do it myself though. I should have knew I would not attract anything else than the reactions I have seen, which I am not complaining at all about.
You are all telling me to run away but no worries guys, I am off to the other part of the world in 3 weeks and might, very probably, never come back. I would just love to be able to convince her before going off and I am pretty sure a ''good psychologist'' could manage.
I am not losing faith, and worst case scenario, I will still have passed MANY amazing moments with her, even if a lot of these were close to ''friendzone''. I will have no regrets whatever happen. And once again, if sex is only what matters ; no worries, I have 2 regulars I can call whenever I wish, gladly coming to my flat. I don't give much fuck though.

[birthday cat]

I know a thing or two about both game and psychology. There is some overlap in those two subjects but this is clearly a situation where game guys will know the obvious answer immediately, but a traditional psychologist may not.

It's basically game 101. Men want sex. Women want attention. You gave the girl 15 dates and over 100 hours of attention without getting sex so you can complain about the responses in this thread but your game has been weak for over a dozen dates so it is probably too late. There isn't any good advice that will lead to you banging this girl because the good advice needed to be applied 12 or 13 dates ago.

The "psychological advice" that you are seeking is to begin withdrawing your attention. It doesn't always work. It is unlikely to work in this situation because you have already given her over 100 hours of attention. It is further unlikely to work because you are leaving in 3 weeks so you don't have much time to work with.

[questor70]

(03-19-2017 03:20 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

But no women in the world would, according to you, disagree to have full-sex with a man they like, because they feel like it would be being unfaithful

She's splitting hairs in order to have her cake and eat it too and you are willing to buy into her hamster logic.

(03-19-2017 03:20 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

she is a god damn 10.

Which explains WHY you would agree to enter into a love-triangle. A share of HB10 poon, even excluding full intercourse, is still better than none at all. Of course, there's frustration over not being able to spike the football, hence this thread. You may get there, but LTR afterwards seems unlikely.

[Latan]

(03-19-2017 12:15 PM)Killarmy Wrote:  

I am off to the other part of the world in 3 weeks and might, very probably, never come back.

Best of luck, wherever you go.

Try to seal the deal in the very first dates (aim for the first one, always), with the women you'll meet there.
It's key, even for the LTR you're looking for.

[PapayaTapper]

(03-19-2017 12:39 PM)questor70 Wrote:  

(03-19-2017 03:20 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

But no women in the world would, according to you, disagree to have full-sex with a man they like, because they feel like it would be being unfaithful

She's splitting hairs in order to have her cake and eat it too and you are willing to buy into her hamster logic.

(03-19-2017 03:20 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

she is a god damn 10.

Which explains WHY you would agree to enter into a love-triangle. A share of HB10 poon, even excluding full intercourse, is still better than none at all.

Uhhhh ...no sir. That's like drinking non alcoholic beer...what's the fucking point?

[robreke]

(03-19-2017 02:18 AM)Killarmy Wrote:  

What would you do ?

Next.

[asdfk]

I could tell you how to bang her. It shouldn't be that hard. But it won't bring you closer to an LTR with her. You will fuck her, but hurt and possibly destroy your chances for an LTR. If you don't care I will gladly give you the steps.

[kaotic]

This guy is literally the male version of a hamster.

He doesn't want to hear truth, hilariously think she's LTR worthy, yet she's doing shady shit to her own man.

You don't think that'll bit you in the ass when she gets with you ?

She's literally swinging from dick to dick, she's probing who she should leave her man for.


You're a SIMP, plain and simple, she's milking you for all you're worth, stop talking to her.

It's pretty clear with how many dates you've been on with her and haven't gotten laid.


She'll do the same exactly shit she's doing to her man to you.


A women who cheats with you IS NOT QUALITY LTR MATERIAL PERIOD.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Heh - guys dishing you out truth, but you don't wanna hear.

Seducing her is what Game is for. You have been on multiple dates with her and haven't managed it. This is not a rational decision for her, it is done by the hindbrain activation. So you need to learn Game, there are not tips.

As for her LTR-worthiness - ahem - nothing to add here what the other men have said.

If she were truly into you, then she would have fucked you, left already her husband and would be blowing your dick at your place already. That is what passionate women in love do. The only exception is if she has kids or her husband is a drug dealer. But in that case you have bigger problems.

Sure - she may fall in love with you and leave her husband. If you wanna do it right, then tell her to leave her husband and then you can bang. Simple and clear-cut, pure solutions.

But judging from your story - the gist is this:

Attractive woman has a rich gringo and the pull of the financial safety is way too strong. She likes you for the emotional feelz by this already cheating on her husband. Trust me - if you were a 1%er, then she would be in your arms already and the divorce papers in the mail.

Your best bet here is a bang, never shack up with her - even and especially if you win the lottery next week.