[Latan]

(03-20-2017 05:40 AM)asdfk Wrote:  

Hey vaun. Calling new, contributing members names, like "broke" or "not able to get a girlfriend", just because they contribute a different perspective...

Even if Vaun words were harsh, I agree with him.

Anybody willing to follow a girl who doesn't love you around the world, has a scarcity / oneitis mentality and doesn't lead in his relationships.
Such person can't and shouldn't give dating advices.
On top of that, these members didn't do it on the thread, but via PM, showing they don't even publicly assume their words; weak.

If we don't call out such behaviour, this forum will lose his core purpose.

[Vaun]

(03-20-2017 06:13 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

(03-20-2017 05:40 AM)asdfk Wrote:  

Hey vaun. Calling new, contributing members names, like "broke" or "not able to get a girlfriend", just because they contribute a different perspective... What a disdain you show here. Is your bitterness THE convincing argument for OP?

Hang on, before we write Vaun off as "bitter" (which, for the record, I don't think he is) -- answer me this question.

How are these guys PM'ing the OP telling him to go after this girl "contributing a different perspective" on this forum if we can't read it?

Why don't they post it here for all to see, and not via PM? Hmm?

Because I will disagree with them openly and they cant handle that.

[Vaun]

(03-20-2017 05:40 AM)asdfk Wrote:  

Hey vaun. Calling new, contributing members names, like "broke" or "not able to get a girlfriend", just because they contribute a different perspective... What a disdain you show here. Is your bitterness THE convincing argument for OP?

I am not bitter, I'm just not afraid to call it out and say what needs to be said here. Do you have a perspective?

[questor70]

(03-20-2017 06:13 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Why don't they post it here for all to see, and not via PM? Hmm?

Personally, I'm not contributing to this thread anymore because Vaun flagged me (see my warning percentage). I'm not going to push my luck.

By this point, though, the pros and cons have been already aired out and it's just falling into analysis paralysis.

[Vaun]

(03-20-2017 06:59 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(03-20-2017 06:13 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Why don't they post it here for all to see, and not via PM? Hmm?

Personally, I'm not contributing to this thread anymore because Vaun flagged me (see my warning percentage). I'm not going to push my luck.

By this point, though, the pros and cons have been already aired out and it's just falling into analysis paralysis.

I flagged you for sending me inflammatory PM's, pleading with me to stop disagreeing with you.

Also, your advice sucks, and its very strange.

[asdfk]

(03-20-2017 06:56 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(03-20-2017 05:40 AM)asdfk Wrote:  

Hey vaun. Calling new, contributing members names, like "broke" or "not able to get a girlfriend", just because they contribute a different perspective... What a disdain you show here. Is your bitterness THE convincing argument for OP?

I am not bitter, I'm just not afraid to call it out and say what needs to be said here. Do you have a perspective?

You clearly showed disdain for members who don't agree with you. It's completely unnecessary.

I do have a different perspective (post #62), and when it comes to the discussion in this thread I agree to disagree.

The post I quoted was random, illogical name-calling of any- and everyone who disagrees with you. I don't stand with that. It's inappropriate.

[Leonard D Neubache]

I've personally given advice to at least one forum member to hold fast to his LTR based on the value of the woman relative to the sea of whores we sail in. I'm on the record for being all for men building families and tribe.

I still say this is no-brainer. When you string a bitch along for four years with no hint of a ring while she's in the prime of her life and doing everything right then she has every right and responsibility to drop your ass with a lame excuse and bail.

OP is asking the wrong question. Whether he should pursue this bitch has absolutely nothing to do with a shift of location or a regression in his control of the relationship. The only relevant question here is whether OP is willing to marry this chick, because I'd put good money on the fact that after four years she figured she wasn't interested in waking up one day to find she was still unmarried, she'd hit the wall and her man was already fucking younger snatch.

[CleanSlate]

(03-20-2017 08:30 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

I've personally given advice to at least one forum member to hold fast to his LTR based on the value of the woman relative to the sea of whores we sail in. I'm on the record for being all for men building families and tribe.

This is exactly the reason I was asking why posters who support the "keep your LTR" argument don't publicly post their reasoning in the thread.

I get that the "next this bitch" gets bounced around here like it's an echo chamber. But I do want to see the other side of the argument, and why you support it.

If a dozen posts above yours say "next her" and you want to say "no, keep your LTR", I want you to please post it. Don't be afraid to do that. Not just post it, but I want to see how you back up your argument. Others may disagree with you, and that's fine (as long as there aren't any ad hominem attacks).

I truly hope this forum hasn't gotten to the point where groupthink has set in and that contrary points of view are hidden behind PMs out of fear of disagreements.

Threads like this have enormous value not just in present time, but in the future where guys find themselves at a similar crossroads and need information to make a potentially life-altering decision.

[birthday cat]

I don't see how you guys can have such strong opinions on either side without knowing more about the OP's situation. If this was me I would have to consider other factors such as my current desire for an LTR, the girl's desire for an LTR, the career opportunities in South Carolina, and the difference in the locations. For example moving from Detroit to Charleston seems much more appealing than moving from Ann Arbor to some small trailer park town.

I understand where both Vaun and Leonard Neubacke are coming from both I can't agree with either. The girl is only 20 so it is possible that her parents have a lot of control over her so her moving away doesn't mean she is dumping him. It is also possible that she doesn't feel like he has strung her along at all because she is only 20 and isn't thinking about marriage yet. We don't really know that much about their relationship.

Finally, I hope you guys avoid fighting with each other because this isn't the thread for that. The OP hasn't updated us much and he hasn't answered many of the questions that have been asked by several guys. He hasn't contributed much to this forum so I think he has received his fair share of free advice. He is going to make his own decision despite whatever you guys tell him so I wouldn't try so hard to prove your points especially if you might cause conflict between more valuable forum members.

[Gmac]

(03-21-2017 12:27 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

I don't see how you guys can have such strong opinions on either side without knowing more about the OP's situation. If this was me I would have to consider other factors such as my current desire for an LTR, the girl's desire for an LTR, the career opportunities in South Carolina, and the difference in the locations. For example moving from Detroit to Charleston seems much more appealing than moving from Ann Arbor to some small trailer park town.

I understand where both Vaun and Leonard Neubacke are coming from both I can't agree with either. The girl is only 20 so it is possible that her parents have a lot of control over her so her moving away doesn't mean she is dumping him. It is also possible that she doesn't feel like he has strung her along at all because she is only 20 and isn't thinking about marriage yet. We don't really know that much about their relationship.

Finally, I hope you guys avoid fighting with each other because this isn't the thread for that. The OP hasn't updated us much and he hasn't answered many of the questions that have been asked by several guys. He hasn't contributed much to this forum so I think he has received his fair share of free advice. He is going to make his own decision despite whatever you guys tell him so I wouldn't try so hard to prove your points especially if you might cause conflict between more valuable forum members.

For me it's simple. At 22 you haven't found yourself yet. I see it as sacrificing current for future happiness. But hey, live your life as you see fit. The guy came here for advice and seems to have gotten plenty.

[puckerman]

(03-20-2017 08:30 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

I still say this is no-brainer. When you string a bitch along for four years with no hint of a ring while she's in the prime of her life and doing everything right then she has every right and responsibility to drop your ass with a lame excuse and bail.

I am seeing this as well. If she comes from a conservative background, her family could be asking her: "When is this guy going to pop the question?" She could be bailing because you haven't shown any interest in a lifetime commitment. Based on what you have said, this girl might be worth it.

[puckerman]

So, what is going on with this situation? I am quite curious.

[Tytalus]

(04-30-2017 05:01 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

So, what is going on with this situation? I am quite curious.

Yeah man. Inquiring minds want to know.

[Deadlifts]

(04-30-2017 05:01 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

So, what is going on with this situation? I am quite curious.

Thanks for checking up mate. I'm still in MI and I'm still deciding. I took the middle road of the advice given here. I stayed in MI, but I continued to stay with her as well. It's been about a month now and so far I would say the "LDR" is going well. She wants things to work out between us more than anything. We've discussed I moving down there and vice versa, she told me it is up to me and wherever I will go she will follow. Good sign.

She doesn't know anybody in SC. l got a Tinder Plus and looked for her near her address, and have not seen her. Another good sign, still, it doesn't mean she's not getting dicked down while she's "at work." At this point there's no true way of knowing, but I trust her. And my gut feeling says she is behaving herself. I can tell she is definitely lonely however. She will be coming back to MI in 4 weeks for my sisters wedding, we will talk then and I'll be able to get a feel on where we stand.

In the meantime I continue to lift heavy, and have made the biggest gains of my life after she left. The hamster is spinning hard, last nights text saying "Good night my fucking God." That's a new one My current focus is finding "my mission" in life. Still undecided on what to do for a career. Always work to be done, again thanks for all those who have helped. Apologies if I didn't answer everyone directly, this post gained more attention than I thought it would.

[puckerman]

So, what is going on with this? I want to hope that this works out for you. Get there now.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

I have a lot of friends in SC.

You should break up with her.

[Old SEA Dog]

(03-02-2017 05:14 PM)Deadlifts Wrote:  

(03-02-2017 03:31 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Long distance doesn't work - period.

"her parents are forcing her" - how is your relationship with her parents ?

How much debt is she in ? Is it all from the accident ?

I personally wouldn't because of a girl, especially if I'd be leaving my own tight knit family.

I also wouldn't want to be paying down my girls debt either.


I think we all know the obvious answer here, as unfortunate as it may be for you.

You're only 22, you've got TONS of time to find another girl, but most importantly work on yourself, find a better job, and strive for better things in life, women always come secondary to your own needs.

Her debt is not entirely from the accident, she got a house with 2 other girls who come to find out are just low lives that don't pay rent, she works crazy hours at work and pays for majority of the bills. She also covers the other two girls rent when they don't have the money yet. Now her car is totaled, she's in a really shitty situation and is stressed as hell over everything. This, and given the fact she's only 20 years old I don't blame her for wanting to run back to Mom and Dad who she hasn't seen in almost two years. I've never given her any money to pay off debt, but I do what I can to make her life less stressful (take her out, fuck her like a porn star, workout together, ect. ect.) She keeps telling me how much she wants to make this work between us, and she's done so much already. Feelsbadman

Sounds like her debt is not a sign of weak character but the result of lack of judgement in the roommates department (which can be improved in future by learning from that experience) and the accident. If you can afford it financially, the best solution for you might be to invite her to move in with you. Handle the debt together and if she is such a conscientious hard worker, you will not suffer financially for too long.

[Spartacus]

STAY