[rafaeld]

I am not a naturally aggressive person and took a lot of shit at school. I got really angry about this in my early twenties and spent years getting it out of my system with weights in the gym. This made me pretty jacked but it still didn't solve my underlying discomfort with the whole idea of physical confrontation. So I decided to fix that by learning Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

BJJ is the first martial art I ever took seriously. I did a little judo as a kid and then some Japanese Jujutsu at uni but only last year did I finally get determined to commit and learn BJJ no matter what.

Learning BJJ is hard but the rewards are SO worth it. Sparring is like a forest fire that will burn all of the weakness and ingrained feminine bullshit out of your mind and body and leave behind only an unbreakable steel core. I have been doing this about a year now and it has 100% undoubtedly made me a better and more resilient man.

The confidence extends into every single aspect of your relationships with other men and even with women. Men are built to fight, we live in this crazy modern world where many of us are sheltered from it. Get comfortable with violence and get comfortable with fighting because that's what men are designed to do at their core. Other men instinctively respect a man who regularly fights/spars. These people just carry their body in a certain way that says "don't fuck with me".

I would absolutely recommend BJJ to any man who has never done martial arts before and wants to face and destroy his fear of physical confrontations.

It has taken away my fear of getting into a fight. Putting aside any discussion of "which is the most effective martial art?" (hint: it's whichever one you stick to and practice every day) the fact that I have to deal with real savages smashing me in the gym every day makes me far more comfortable with physical altercations. You think I'm afraid if some bozo in the club starts getting physical with me? Yesterday some guy twice his size flattened me and tried to choke me to death. This skinny club idiot is no threat whatsoever.

But make no mistake, coming into BJJ as a beginner is really tough. BJJ has a really steep learning curve in the beginning.

If you're already athletic and strong it helps. I'm a small guy but I squat 2.5x bodyweight and bench 1.8x BW which levels the playing field tremendously. I'd say it adds about 20kg of "weight" compared to an opponent who has done little strength and conditioning work.

TravellerKai's thread is great but he is an expert and probably doesn't remember what it's like to be a beginner at a martial art .

I've been doing this a year and I'm not a raw beginner any more, but I remember well how it feels at the start. So anybody who is learning or wants to learn BJJ and is feeling down or needs some advice, ask me anything here.

I wrote a little post on my blog about how to get started in BJJ, it might help someone who is thinking about giving up to stick with it.

--

How To Get Over The Hump In BJJ

Rule 1: Decide you are going to get through it no matter what

This is really the only rule you need.

I guarantee that if you keep coming back to class for long enough, you will eventually “get it” and come to see the beauty of Jiu Jitsu.

But in the initial period when you are getting over the hump, the hard truth is that you will probably not enjoy most sessions. It will be difficult, humbling and challenging. You will feel like you are not making any progress. You will feel helpless and frustrated.

There is a trick to get past this, and that is to simply keep showing up and trying. Give it your best shot every session, that’s all you need to do, and you will improve over time.

As a beginner you should not look further ahead than the next class. Do whatever you have to do to get yourself into the next session and forget everything else. If you have a bad day of sparring, don’t be afraid to sit out for a while and just observe. You can learn a lot from observing but if you push on with sparring and make yourself completely miserable you might not be motivated to go back the next day. You must make sure you have enough gas left in the tank to get to the next session.

Set yourself a certain number of sessions per week and stick to it like glue. I recommend a minimum of three, any less than that and your progress will be quite slow.

Above all you must make the mental commitment to do or die. You will learn Jiu Jitsu and that’s the end of it, there is no other way for you. That is the most effective mindset and the only one that works. If you cannot find this determination within yourself, then Jiu Jitsu is probably not for you.

Rule 2: Change your metrics for success

In order to get through the tornado of chaos that is your first six months, you have to change your metrics for success.

You must convert the meaning of success in your mind. If you go into class with a big ego ready to kill and your metric for success is how many submissions you get, you will not last very long. Prepare to be humiliated – you will get smashed so accept it and learn from it.

Set yourself smaller goals for success instead. Did you survive an arm bar attempt? Great! Did you only get submitted twice this time instead of five times? Nice work, you are learning. These are great achievements in the beginning and you should not cheat yourself by ignoring them.

You must convert the meaning of loss in your mind. If somebody submits you and you take that loss personally you will not last very long. You must treat every single time you are submitted as a gift from your opponent. They have just taught you a way that you can be beaten. How generous of them to reveal this to you, now you can prepare and be ready to defend it next time.

Rule 3: Convert smashers into teachers

There are two types of opponents in Jiu Jitsu: smashers and teachers.

As a Jiu Jitsu newcomer you might despair because it seems like everyone is a smasher. What you do not realise is that most smashers can be converted into teachers with a few choice words and actions.

Sun Tzu says

Quote:

All warfare is based on deception.

You can convert smashers into teachers by being smart and cunning like Sun Tzu. Disarm your opponent first by appearing harmless.

Ask “Do you have a partner yet” not “Do you want to roll”. It is less threatening and promotes a more open, collaborative atmosphere from the start.

A superior opponent will mirror your energy.

If you apply 100% resistance your opponent will be forced to smash you with 100% power. If you apply only 30% resistance then a superior opponent will “smash” you using gentle power. There is no need to use a sledgehammer to flatten a blob of soft play-doh when a gentle push will do, and there is no need to use full power to smash a newbie when gentle power will do.

When your opponent applies gentle power, it is far more pleasant for you in the beginning and you will have valuable time to think during a roll.

Invite your opponent to teach you

Smashers need your permission to become teachers. You have the power to give them this permission.

Let’s say a superior opponent mounts you and gets an arm bar. You might be tempted to become angry with yourself then jump back up into the fray. If you are a raw beginner, this will not help. Instead try asking your partner:

Quote:

That was a great submission, I don’t know what I’m doing when I’m mounted. Can you show me a simple mount escape I could try please?

Now your partner feels good because he is able to become your teacher. He feels a swell of pride and significance because he is able to help you. You have effectively disarmed his aggression. He will most likely show you a simple escape then you can start the roll in the same position and he will let you practice it a few times. As your teacher his focus has changed from “how can I submit this guy” to “how can I help this guy get better at Jiu Jitsu”. This is a much more useful interaction for you and will advance your Jiu Jitsu further than simply being a rag-doll for your partner to smash on.

Be grateful

Gratitude is the currency of Jiu Jitsu gyms. You should go out of your way to thank your sensei at the end of every class. Be specific with your thanks, say something like

Quote:

Thank you [sensei name], that was a great class. I really liked how we did the arm bar drill first, that was something I wanted to work on and it helped me a lot.

Not many people do this, so you will stand out. Your sensei will remember your name with good feelings and look to help you out more. You might even receive special treatment over the other students.

Most of your fellow students are also able to become your teachers. You cannot pay them with cash but you can pay them with gratitude. One heartfelt piece of gratitude can go a tremendously long way towards getting someone to help you. After your partner has helped you with a technique, you should thank them well. Look into their eyes, warmly shake their hand and say:

Quote:

Thank you [student name], you have really helped my understanding with [technique].

With this approach you will find yourself in a gym full of teachers instead of a gym full of smashers, and your Jiu Jitsu game will improve quickly so that you will soon be smashing them back.

--

(Original post)

[SegaSaturn1994]

Martial arts help feed the evolutionarily older parts of the brain that crave physical domination or more accurately the perception of physical domination. This craving is then filtered through the modern brain parts, which ends up feeding the ego and self-identity. At its core it's a pretty crass thing but I cannot really fault people for becoming domination junkies because those brain parts and, in numerous cases, the trauma of bullying, being short etc. is not going to go away anytime soon until science comes up with a way to satisfy that lust by taming those ancient brains.

Very few men really want to fight for real but they want to feel dominant to feel at peace as they go about their ways. Evolutionarily speaking fighting was often needed to mate but fighting itself was not the purpose and fighting for the sake of fighting was just a waste; getting laid was the real prize and nowadays men can get laid without fighting but guys who feel like they do not measure up in the world of masculinity may use martial arts or any other method to increase their presence. It's almost as if our brains have evolved disproportionately in that we expect to be able to intimidate other men into submission with out bare hands without taking into account the fact that humans are capable of revenge or strategies that overcome physical limitations. Even in the absence of law and religion human intelligence is a very strong discouraging and neutralizing agent for anyone who wants to try and physically intimidate another person into submission. If a dog bites a chunk out of another dog's leg, the victim dog presumably cannot run to his pack and tell them to maul the attacker for him but humans can do this and more.

[Rocha]

Rule 4:

Dont stick just to BJJ. Learn to throw some punches and kicks. BJJ has a strange tendency to overinflate peoples perception of their own fighting capacity, specially begginers.
And dont forget, after the first punch in the head a black belt becomes a brown belt, after the second hit becomes a purple belt...

[SegaSaturn1994]

(02-09-2017 08:46 AM)Rocha Wrote:  

Rule 4:

Dont stick just to BJJ. Learn to throw some punches and kicks. BJJ has a strange tendency to overinflate peoples perception of their own fighting capacity, specially begginers.
And dont forget, after the first punch in the head a black belt becomes a brown belt, after the second hit becomes a purple belt...

I would think that BJJ alone takes so much time that it's enough for the vast majority of people to cover that area of interest.

With that said it seems as if BJJ has become a huge fad in the 21st century; you have commentators making the practitioners out to sound like invulnerable superhumans and experts on things they have not worked on, gender bending BS about women being just as dangerous as men and all manner of cockiness, which I imagine cannot help the reputation of this art in the long run. In the 70's and 80's it was far eastern martial arts and now that the yellow fever is cured the new God is some sort of a tattooed head shaving silent strong hipster in a blue gi from a favela. Nothing wrong with BJJ in itself; it just seems to be more overhyped than the rest right now.

As a result sports like judo and olympic wrestling are being forgotten as untrendy and dated in favor of the fashionable Hollywood hyped martial arts.

[Rocha]

(02-09-2017 10:39 AM)SegaSaturn1994 Wrote:  

(02-09-2017 08:46 AM)Rocha Wrote:  

Rule 4:

Dont stick just to BJJ. Learn to throw some punches and kicks. BJJ has a strange tendency to overinflate peoples perception of their own fighting capacity, specially begginers.
And dont forget, after the first punch in the head a black belt becomes a brown belt, after the second hit becomes a purple belt...

I would think that BJJ alone takes so much time that it's enough for the vast majority of people to cover that area of interest.

With that said it seems as if BJJ has become a huge fad in the 21st century; you have commentators making the practitioners out to sound like invulnerable superhumans and experts on things they have not worked on, gender bending BS about women being just as dangerous as men and all manner of cockiness, which I imagine cannot help the reputation of this art in the long run. In the 70's and 80's it was far eastern martial arts and now that the yellow fever is cured the new God is some sort of a tattooed head shaving silent strong hipster in a blue gi from a favela. Nothing wrong with BJJ in itself; it just seems to be more overhyped than the rest right now.

As a result sports like judo and olympic wrestling are being forgotten as untrendy and dated in favor of the fashionable Hollywood hyped martial arts.

I did two years of BJJ and still roll once in a while. Of course if teached properly is extremely useful, legit and can be deadly. What gets me off is that you do not see other legit martial arts instructors/commentators/practicioners/websites etc, rubbing each others back and spamming videos where their martial art "saves" like the BJJ comunnity does. They rarely say openly that BJJ is superior to the other arts, but they (in general) are annoying with this. Seems like they are always trying to prove something.

[GrapeApe]

BJJ is more like dancing than fighting. While you sit there and breakdance or hop around like a monkey, I'd deliver one blow or kick and you'd be KTFO.

[rafaeld]

Not sure where the BJJ hate is coming from in this thread.

I never said it was a superior martial art or that it would turn you into an invulnerable fighting God. I just wanted to share the positive benefits it had on my life and how you can get started in the sport, which is hard for a raw beginner.

If I was talking about Karate maybe these same people would be telling me how useless it is because it doesn't teach anything about ground game.

You have to pick one martial art and stick with it for a while. Maybe I'll stick to BJJ for another year then learn Muay Thai. I'll go in with a good attitude and knowing how to get physical, be humble and learn because I already did that in BJJ.

[Rocha]

(02-09-2017 06:36 PM)rafaeld Wrote:  

Not sure where the BJJ hate is coming from in this thread.

I never said it was a superior martial art or that it would turn you into an invulnerable fighting God. I just wanted to share the positive benefits it had on my life and how you can get started in the sport, which is hard for a raw beginner.

If I was talking about Karate maybe these same people would be telling me how useless it is because it doesn't teach anything about ground game.

You have to pick one martial art and stick with it for a while. Maybe I'll stick to BJJ for another year then learn Muay Thai. I'll go in with a good attitude and knowing how to get physical, be humble and learn because I already did that in BJJ.

No from my side, I love BJJ, and similarly to you it helped me a lot when I started and similarly to you I thought I could have the upper hand in an altercation just by knowing some submissions and throws. You can see it if you re-read my posts, that there is no hate.

But your original post mentions more than once terms like "violence", "fight", "physical confrontation"...wich in my opinion you or any other begginer should refrain from, because nowadays BJJ is more of a sport driven than for self defense. And sometimes reality punches or kicks us in the face. Luckily for me reality has not hit, but I noticed I had started to develop a "fighting ego" outside of the mats, whitout even knowing how to throw a punch or a low kick.

[kinjutsu]

(02-10-2017 08:15 AM)Rocha Wrote:  

(02-09-2017 06:36 PM)rafaeld Wrote:  

Not sure where the BJJ hate is coming from in this thread.

I never said it was a superior martial art or that it would turn you into an invulnerable fighting God. I just wanted to share the positive benefits it had on my life and how you can get started in the sport, which is hard for a raw beginner.

If I was talking about Karate maybe these same people would be telling me how useless it is because it doesn't teach anything about ground game.

You have to pick one martial art and stick with it for a while. Maybe I'll stick to BJJ for another year then learn Muay Thai. I'll go in with a good attitude and knowing how to get physical, be humble and learn because I already did that in BJJ.

No from my side, I love BJJ, and similarly to you it helped me a lot when I started and similarly to you I thought I could have the upper hand in an altercation just by knowing some submissions and throws. You can see it if you re-read my posts, that there is no hate.

But your original post mentions more than once terms like "violence", "fight", "physical confrontation"...wich in my opinion you or any other begginer should refrain from, because nowadays BJJ is more of a sport driven than for self defense. And sometimes reality punches or kicks us in the face. Luckily for me reality has not hit, but I noticed I had started to develop a "fighting ego" outside of the mats, whitout even knowing how to throw a punch or a low kick.

Hahaha i've been there a few times and gotten myself into some bad situations.

I see the fighting ego a lot at this Vietnamese place near my house. There's a BJJ school near there and those guys walk around as if they could stop bullets with their chests.
I love BJJ as a base, it's a fantastic foundation to build your self-defense on. It builds confidence in your ability to defend yourself. It's also great for kids first exposure to martial arts. However, once you've been training for a few years you'll hit a wall in progression. That's when you need to train in other styles. It's an absolute must.
Striking (boxing or kick boxing), some type that teaches defense against weapons like knives and bats.
I've seen some horrible street fights with a BJJ guys thinking they could take anyone. Rolling on mats is one thing but rolling on a night club dance floor is another. I watched a guy get kicked in the face a few times because he started a fight with a guy and while he took the guy down and took his back and was about to apply the choke his friend ran over and kicked him in the face a few times before the bouncers could break it up.


@Rafaeld Don't worry about Segasaturn he's a martial arts troll. He finally got banned he's not worth discussing anymore.
He's ignorant on the origins of BJJ. The main reason it's popular is because of UFC/MMA gaining more public exposure.
If you wanted to learn Muay Thai as well as BJJ i'd find a school that integrates the training. They'll be able to fill in the gaps for transitioning between the two.
The majority of martial arts from the east were created for warriors to still be able to fight when they didn't have their primary weapon available (sword, gun)


I don't know if you've seen this thread but it's worth a look.
TravelerKai’s Martial Arts Datasheet

[Black Knight]

(02-09-2017 03:03 PM)GrapeApe Wrote:  

BJJ is more like dancing than fighting. While you sit there and breakdance or hop around like a monkey, I'd deliver one blow or kick and you'd be KTFO.

Are you perhaps thinking of capoeira?

[asdfk]

Good post. I am looking forward to practice BJJ for a while myself. It seems sophisticated on the choking side compared to judo, which I did for years.

Kinjutsu makes a solid point about real life fighting though. I did scenario based trainings for a while. They throw you in situations and you have to resolve these any means neccesary.

We would train in this abandoned hospital. One guy of the class would walk through it, and the other 10+ guys were hiding and we're supposed to try to "kill" the trainee. Some got fake weapons, others were hiding in groups.

This taught me to assess a situation, which is the most important skill in real life fights. It gave me the reflex to keep track of the exits when I enter a room. To shield my body in an agitated crowd. Very basic but usually neglected stuff.

If you get into a real fight and it's serious, you are fucked if his buddies catch up with you. And even if he's alone and you take him out, there may be cameras around. After doing scenarios where 4 dudes rush you and punch and kick you and you have to fight them off, you understand how vulnerable you really are.

I don't really see an upside to fighting besides hedonistic enjoyment. Deescalating or running are way cheaper. Because even If you are winning, you are putting your fate in the hands of his buddies around the corner or the people watching the cameras. (In many places in the world not smart) Having self control pays off, fucking someone up might unexpectedly get you hurt or killed.

On the upside, getting beat up twice per week makes you more calm. If shit hits the fan, you are less likely to freak out. And sparring is loads of fun.

[rafaeld]

(02-09-2017 08:46 AM)Rocha Wrote:  

Rule 4:

Dont stick just to BJJ. Learn to throw some punches and kicks. BJJ has a strange tendency to overinflate peoples perception of their own fighting capacity, specially begginers.
And dont forget, after the first punch in the head a black belt becomes a brown belt, after the second hit becomes a purple belt...

Yup, this is good advice. BJJ has been something of a "gateway drug" for me. The training path I set for myself was focus on BJJ until I get to blue belt (probably within the next 6mo) then learn a striking sport like Muay Thai or Kickboxing.

(02-10-2017 08:15 AM)Rocha Wrote:  

No from my side, I love BJJ, and similarly to you it helped me a lot when I started and similarly to you I thought I could have the upper hand in an altercation just by knowing some submissions and throws. You can see it if you re-read my posts, that there is no hate.

But your original post mentions more than once terms like "violence", "fight", "physical confrontation"...wich in my opinion you or any other begginer should refrain from, because nowadays BJJ is more of a sport driven than for self defense. And sometimes reality punches or kicks us in the face. Luckily for me reality has not hit, but I noticed I had started to develop a "fighting ego" outside of the mats, whitout even knowing how to throw a punch or a low kick.

My goal with martial arts is partly self defence but also confidence. I backed down from a couple of physical confrontations when I was young because I didn't know any better, and it has never quite sat right with me. I used to feel it hanging over me like something left unfinished.

BJJ was my way of tackling that fear head on and regardless of its effectiveness to actually defend myself in a real attack situation, it has helped me exorcise my inner demons and given me a quiet confidence dealing with other men and aggy women that I never had before.

In a real assault or mugging situation I'd probably just run. I'm an extremely fast sprinter (that would be from all the heavy squatting) and I'm confident I can outrun almost anybody over short distances.

(02-11-2017 06:39 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

Hahaha i've been there a few times and gotten myself into some bad situations.

I see the fighting ego a lot at this Vietnamese place near my house. There's a BJJ school near there and those guys walk around as if they could stop bullets with their chests.

Good! They're far less likely to be picked as a target if they walk around like this than if they were walking around with their heads down in fear. Sounds like BJJ did good things for them (unless they are actually picking fights, which would be stupid).

Quote:

I love BJJ as a base, it's a fantastic foundation to build your self-defense on. It builds confidence in your ability to defend yourself. It's also great for kids first exposure to martial arts. However, once you've been training for a few years you'll hit a wall in progression. That's when you need to train in other styles. It's an absolute must.
Striking (boxing or kick boxing), some type that teaches defense against weapons like knives and bats.
I've seen some horrible street fights with a BJJ guys thinking they could take anyone. Rolling on mats is one thing but rolling on a night club dance floor is another. I watched a guy get kicked in the face a few times because he started a fight with a guy and while he took the guy down and took his back and was about to apply the choke his friend ran over and kicked him in the face a few times before the bouncers could break it up.

I didn't tell the whole story in my first post. I actually trained some Judo, Japanese Jujutsu and Krav Maga before. So I learned how to handle multiple attackers coming from different angles, how to take people down in the heat of the moment, and how to handle baseball bat/bottle/knife attacks.

Although I still think the best strategy if someone is coming at you with a weapon is to forget all that nonsense and just run really fast.

Quote:

If you wanted to learn Muay Thai as well as BJJ i'd find a school that integrates the training. They'll be able to fill in the gaps for transitioning between the two.

Yes this is exactly what I intend to do.

Quote:

I don't know if you've seen this thread but it's worth a look.
TravelerKai’s Martial Arts Datasheet

Great thread, yes I've read the whole thing.

(02-11-2017 09:52 AM)asdfk Wrote:  

We would train in this abandoned hospital. One guy of the class would walk through it, and the other 10+ guys were hiding and we're supposed to try to "kill" the trainee. Some got fake weapons, others were hiding in groups.

That sounds sick! Where was this?

Quote:

On the upside, getting beat up twice per week makes you more calm. If shit hits the fan, you are less likely to freak out. And sparring is loads of fun.

100% it trains you to deal with stressful situations. No help for getting hit in the face though.

The major benefits of BJJ I see are:

- Builds real sense of camaraderie and tribal belonging with other men
- Improves confidence
- Teaches you wrestling/body control
- Fosters positive competitive spirit
- "Gateway drug" into other martial arts
- You learn how to disable people without harming them. Example: if a woman is assaulting you and you beat her up, you're liable to end up in Jail. If you take her down and hold her, or even put her to sleep, there is no lasting damage. You successfully neutralized the threat and jailtime is looking much less likely.
- It's fun!

[FlyHigher123]

Winning combination: Muay Thai+Luta Livre+Sistema. That way you are prepared for stand-up, ground and fighting with weapons.

[ScrapperTL]

(02-09-2017 03:03 PM)GrapeApe Wrote:  

BJJ is more like dancing than fighting. While you sit there and breakdance or hop around like a monkey, I'd deliver one blow or kick and you'd be KTFO.

Easily the dumbest thing I have read since joining this forum.

Anyway back to the original topic.
My advice: Have fun, enjoy and cherish every class but also take them seriously, pay full attention!

Your mindset should always be to learn, not to win.
Lastly you are in this for the long haul, to someday become a Black Belt.
So treat every ass whooping you take as you moving one step closer to that goal (Black Belt).
If you are dominating and winning in class, then you should be worried!
Actively seek out grapplers to roll with that will steamroll you.
This is how you get better.

[crispytaco]

I like the fact that you understand why you are training bjj. I practice artial arts since the 80's, including TKD BJJ, Judo and Aikido some.times.for fun, to release stress. What I don't stand the self called martial artists, selling you the idea that their system is gonna make you defeat 6 guys in a bar. That won't happen.