[jselysianeagle]

I'm goin to get roasted over this, but bring it on; I think I could learn some lessons here.

So I just got back from the shittiest date I've had in years.

It was our second date. On the first date (a few weeks ago) I got strong "user" vibes from this chic and I should've nexted her ASAP based on what my instincts were telling me, but I ignored them and went for the second, tonight.

Everything was goin well, until I moved in for the kiss. She pulled back, saying "Well I don't know you yet". This, after I spent $150 on dinner + drinks. She had also mentioned on the first date that she had had one night stands before.

I don't get mad, but I decide it's time to immediately cut my losses - no more time or money on this chic - as far as I'm concerned, we're through.

We start walking quietly back to the train. She asks, "Where are we goin?" to which I dryly respond, "To the trains...". She mumbles something about how I had promised to put her in an Uber back home on our first date - it's true, I did mention it, and I realize it's bad form to renege on your word, but I saw no reason to continue spending money on some chic who had already confessed to having one night stands before, while refusing me so much as a kiss after two dinner dates.

So I respond: "Well, I don't know you that well, either...".

At this point she loses it, starts talking shit about how I have no manners, how it's so unsafe for a girl to take the train at this time (it isn't - the neighborhoods are perfectly safe even late at night) etc etc. I stay ice cold, giving one word responses, while she keeps getting angrier and angrier. "Don't talk to me like you talk to one of your bros". "Stop responding to me, ok?!!" etc etc.

Finally we get to the trains and part ways. My last words to her: "See ya!".

Words of advice on what I could've done better, or do better goin forwards? Would you have paid for the Uber anyway? Maybe try and escalate more aggressively?

I think I need to lay off the fancy dinner dates. Probably gives off the wrong vibe...

[dallasguy]

Spent way too much money on her.

[torridon747]

Spending money on women does not increase your chances of sleeping with them and it also does not turn sluts into nice traditional girls.

Sounds like you had no frame other than possible beta provider.

This whole fiasco is completely on you. Should've just done the typical drinks, venue hop, get to your/her apartment and fucked her and never called her back.

[jselysianeagle]

Agreed with both dallas and eugenics - keep it comin, I need to hear it.

I'll be sticking to simple drink dates goin forwards. Fuck this dinner shit, lol.

[Tex]

(01-26-2017 01:20 AM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

Everything was goin well, until I moved in for the kiss. She pulled back, saying "Well I don't know you yet". This, after I spent $150 on dinner + drinks. She had also mentioned on the first date that she had had one night stands before.

That's rough.

You're line of thinking is pretty solid if still a bit too nice.

First off you spoiled her entirely too much too fast. After it was apparent what she was doing, you should have not walked with her to the trains.

What I would have done: Either agreed and said "You're right, we don't know each other at all, what are we doing, I have to go," and left to get myself an Uber, or said "If I don't get anal tonight you're taking the train."

Then either proceed to anal or proceed to an Uber right to the comfort of your own home.

Good on you for not getting mad and recognizing what was happening though.

[jabba]

Good job for staying calm when being rejected. Never be aggressive when a girl rejects you. It fucks up your frame and demonstrates you can't control your emotions with girls. Tempermental and emotional guys will always be losers in life, business and pussy...in that order. Pussy follows you when you have your life and business handled.

You respected her when she said No. You didn't argue or beg her to change her mind. Pussy never gets wet when it smells neediness or desperation.

You made the best decision albeit spending too much money upfront. Best thing to do was to walk away. She wanted to milk you for food, drinks and Uber. Just say your not her gay friend or she can find a sucker to sponsor her. Say it with a smile. You can be relaxed, composed and have freedom from outcome.

You made your decision, and she needs to respect that. Don't apologize for cutting your losses. Just be a man, accept her sexual rejection and walk away. When she sees you again, tells her girlfriends how you behaved and what you said, you'll look like a man who lives from abundance.

When you learn from this experience, this will set you up for a more successful set next time. Girls are a commodity. Stick to your path. Girls' crack cocaine is knowing guys who have no chance, spending time / resources on them.

[Vicious]

(01-26-2017 01:20 AM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

Everything was goin well, until I moved in for the kiss. She pulled back, saying "Well I don't know you yet". This, after I spent $150 on dinner + drinks.

As others have pointed out this is where your line of thinking needs a step change.

You're feeling that because you spent money om her you're going to get something out of it. If that's not within a certain context it will have the opposite effect.

You are the one that should hold her frame "Why should I spend money on you I'm not fucking you yet".

[OCZ]

Good points on yours side: You kept your cool mood and avoided any conflict and let her go crazy by herself. She is gone, don't text her again of course. Keep that coolness, many guys don't have it and probably she'll end up texting you again.. but don't answer anyway.

What can you do to improve? We all know women selection is very difficult, specially to identify the good and the bad. Therefore I'll recommend to not invite a girl to dinner until it is proven she is worth at least a little. Try to think about a filter and read the signs and eventually avoid this kind of shitty dates.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Dinner dates. Ugh. I don't even know how they became a thing.

Do you eat while they talk? Do they eat while you talk? Do you both sit there quietly munching on your food? Do you go cheap and risk looking like a bum? Do you go expensive and risk her sniffing gold only to with-hold pussy in the hopes of making you commit?

I'd rather jam my hand in a blender than go on another dinner date.

[astro]

That was your shittiest date? I've had way worse. Your biggest mistake was not trusting your instincts.

One of my favorite screens is to joke about the dollar menu date (anything for you baby!) to not only get abundance in mind, but to gauge the reaction.

[DooshV]

Can you describe what this chick looked like ? Unless she is at least a solid 9 I don't see any reason to spend $150+ on her.
Plus, if you're talking trains then I'm guessing you're somewhere in Europe. Where exactly ?
If she's Ukrainian then I wouldn't expect a kiss for the first few dates.(This is from what I've read about Ukrainian girls and I have no experience with them whatsoever so don't get mad at me for saying what I'm saying.)

[Rawmeo]

You spent too much money on her too quick. This made her see you as beta, and made her think that you were insecure, and letting her take the frame.

At this point the only solution was to cut your losses, which you handled fairly well. She had one night stands, but yet refused to even kiss you after you dropped cash on her, and expected you to pay her a taxi after that. Entitled whore.

Next her and burn bridges. Your time will be better spent gaming sane chicks.

[BigL]

It was so stupid to spend 150$ on a girl you didn't fuck before. Especially if you didn't even kiss her. And why did you promise her an uber if you cant do what you said? When you are eating shit, eat it right at least. But I would never speak to her again.

[Turnus]

Looks like you already realize your mistakes and are learning from it.

As other's have said, spending that much money on fancy dinners meant you had already lost from the beginning.

I do commend you for your actions towards the end of the date - You maintained frame and didn't reward her for crappy behavior.

[Serious Sam]

(01-26-2017 01:20 AM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

It was our second date. On the first date (a few weeks ago) I got strong "user" vibes from this chic and I should've nexted her ASAP based on what my instincts were telling me, but I ignored them and went for the second, tonight.

Everything was goin well, until I moved in for the kiss. She pulled back, saying "Well I don't know you yet". This, after I spent $150 on dinner + drinks. She had also mentioned on the first date that she had had one night stands before.

First of all, you took her to dinner on the first date. In the future, keep it to drinks and nothing more. The same goes for the second date. Personally, I only buy dinner for LTRs or if I've been seeing a girl for a while and feel like treating her.

Second, the vibes you got, which were supported by her confession that she has one night stands, were slut tells. Sluts know they're sluts but know that slutting around won't benefit them long term, so they look for suckers to lock down while still continuing their slutty behavior behind the sucker's back. Because of their slutty pasts, though, sluts struggle to pair bond, so when they find a target to lock down, they tend to come off as "users." It's difficult for them to show genuine affection or gratitude after a city full of men has run through them.

Third, money spent on women does not translate into pussy, unless you're paying direct. Don't beat yourself up too much. I know a guy that spent $250 on a first date and never heard from the girl again. At least you came in $100 less than he did.

Quote:

We start walking quietly back to the train. She asks, "Where are we goin?" to which I dryly respond, "To the trains...". She mumbles something about how I had promised to put her in an Uber back home on our first date - it's true, I did mention it, and I realize it's bad form to renege on your word, but I saw no reason to continue spending money on some chic who had already confessed to having one night stands before, while refusing me so much as a kiss after two dinner dates.

You need an attitude adjustment. Stop with the entitlement. You got butt hurt because she rejected your advances when you did nothing to escalate prior to that. You thought you could spend some money and she'd automatically hop in the sack with you. You made yourself a free meal and a free ride and nothing more in her eyes. Even sluts need to be gamed. Most will put up massive walls because they don't want to be seen as sluts. It's your job to find your way through the walls or knock them down altogether. Buying an expensive dinner won't cut it. It puts you in the "guy who can buy me dinner to replenish my energy after a three hour fuck session with Chad" category.

Quote:

So I respond: "Well, I don't know you that well, either...".

At this point she loses it, starts talking shit about how I have no manners, how it's so unsafe for a girl to take the train at this time (it isn't - the neighborhoods are perfectly safe even late at night) etc etc. I stay ice cold, giving one word responses, while she keeps getting angrier and angrier. "Don't talk to me like you talk to one of your bros". "Stop responding to me, ok?!!" etc etc.

Words of advice on what I could've done better, or do better goin forwards? Would you have paid for the Uber anyway? Maybe try and escalate more aggressively?

I think you know you should have ejected well before it got to this point, but since you didn't, you should have just walked away. Who gives a fuck? You don't know this girl. Fuck taking a tongue-lashing from some skank you met online. No, I would not have bought her an Uber. She has a phone, she can buy her own.

Quote:

I think I need to lay off the fancy dinner dates. Probably gives off the wrong vibe...

Yes, absolutely. Cut it out.

[jselysianeagle]

(01-26-2017 09:47 AM)DooshV Wrote:  

Can you describe what this chick looked like ? Unless she is at least a solid 9 I don't see any reason to spend $150+ on her.
Plus, if you're talking trains then I'm guessing you're somewhere in Europe. Where exactly ?
If she's Ukrainian then I wouldn't expect a kiss for the first few dates.(This is from what I've read about Ukrainian girls and I have no experience with them whatsoever so don't get mad at me for saying what I'm saying.)

When I first met her she fooled me into thinking she was an 8.5, but on the first and second dates I downgraded her to a 7.

I like goin to nice places myself, and living in NYC (Manhattan) there's tons of amazing spots always filled with cute chics. She was Russian, and while I don't mind waiting a few dates for the first kiss, what I didn't like about this one was her admitting that she had fucked guys she had just met, while I was supposed to keep spending my time and money hoping she'd come around. Fuck that shit.

Anyway, thanks all for the input. I think I've learned some valuable lessons here.

[Palo_alto]

Always go for the kiss on the first date

[joecolombia]

So I respond: "Well, I don't know you that well, either...".

Good comeback though. 150 bucks is way too much money to be betting on a girl your're not sure is going to give away anything.

If anything, stick to cheap dates like coffee. Girls like beta providers giving away free food/drinks.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

OP you never got into the background of this chick
-How did you meet her?
-Emotional makeup/Past
-Sexual history/festishes/proclivities

This type stuff is valuable intel that helps with your plan of attack. I would hope knowing her sexual histroy going in would allow you to see her and the situation for what it really was. I won't even step outside my front door before I get a better idea who she is and her mindset.

Who knows if a meetup would even happen had you asked more questions. Maybe you would have invited her straight to your casa if you know she could/would suck a golf ball through a straw.

These are a few things you could have done differently, I won't harp on the acutal date because these things preclude the actual hangout and should act as a roadmap to the type of chick you're potentially fucking (pun intended) with.

[Mufasa]

(01-26-2017 10:46 AM)BigL Wrote:  

When you are eating shit, eat it right at least.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Thanks for that gif, Mufasa.

I'd been trying to find one of an elephant jamming it's trunk up the ass of another elephant for weeks now. -_-

[LeoneVolpe]

You know, it's interesting -- the chick doesn't know OP well enough to kiss him, but apparently knew him well enough to have $150 of his money spent on her. Funny how that works.

Two tenets of game come to mind:

1.) Just because you spend money on a girl in no way guarantees she'll fuck you. In fact, the amount of money spent is often inversely proportional to the likelihood of your getting your dick wet.

2.) Always push for sex ASAP. If you're going to get blown out, better to have it happen sooner than later so you can move on to more promising prospects.

Aside from spending too much money on a girl who'd yet to earn it, I'd say OP handled himself about as well as could be expected given the circumstances. However, if he had at least gone for the kiss on the first date, regardless of whether or not he was successful, he'd have discovered whether it was worth it to him to have spent the time/effort/money to invite her out for a second date.

[XXL]

For some reason she felt like she could use you and that's what she tried.

To solve it you would have to tell us everything about how you met each other, what you did before 2nd date, etc. You either did something that encouraged her to be like that or she's like that by default. Or both

Trust your gut next time.

[ksbms]

(01-27-2017 04:33 AM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  

Two tenets of game come to mind:

1.) Just because you spend money on a girl in no way guarantees she'll fuck you. In fact, the amount of money spent is often inversely proportional to the likelihood of your getting your dick wet.

2.) Always push for sex ASAP. If you're going to get blown out, better to have it happen sooner than later so you can move on to more promising prospects.

This.

[BassPlayaYo]

(01-26-2017 01:20 AM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

It was our second date. On the first date (a few weeks ago) I got strong "user" vibes from this chic and I should've nexted her ASAP based on what my instincts were telling me, but I ignored them and went for the second, tonight.

Now you have validation that your "user" vibe detector is working always pay attention to it.

Quote:

We start walking quietly back to the train. She asks, "Where are we goin?" to which I dryly respond, "To the trains...". She mumbles something about how I had promised to put her in an Uber back home on our first date - it's true, I did mention it, and I realize it's bad form to renege on your word, but I saw no reason to continue spending money on some chic who had already confessed to having one night stands before, while refusing me so much as a kiss after two dinner dates.

After she said "I don't know you that well", that should have been the end or her being graced by your presence. Funny how she thinks she should be rewarded (uber ride) for acting shitty, this is a second date and you already know she will fuck on a first one. It's clear she isn't into you after the first date, who knows why she agreed to the second, perhaps she was hungry?