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For the Married Men: What caught your eye and kept it?
#26

For the Married Men: What caught your eye and kept it?

^That does answer my questions, thank you.

G
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#27

For the Married Men: What caught your eye and kept it?

Quote: (01-24-2017 03:32 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  

Among the married men who are comfortable sharing, how did you meet your wife?

Through a dating site strongly oriented towards people who wanted to marry.

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What was it about her, that made you decide she was wife and mother of your children?

Shared religion, good person, could sing and liked kids. Also had been a professional baby sitter. Was pretty enough at the time, and not too small. I never liked women so small that they look like a pregnancy would make them explode or have to have a c-section. Now I know better.

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Why did you choose that (or those) quality above others as the most important?
Singing and being a babysitter. I had found someone who still liked kids after working 60 hours a week with them.

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What did your parents/family say about her? Was she a good fit for you/your family? Were you a good fit for hers?
Great fit all around. The only issue my parents had (which I wished they had pushed me harder on) was the history of mental illness. blew up in my face after the second baby with post partum depression.

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Did you guys discuss how you'd raise children, have them visit family once or twice a year?

Absolutely.

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Was there any long distance in the relationship at all?

Initially yes. We talked for a few months via phone cards and had great conversations. In fact, going back to your earlier questions, one of the reasons I married her is that we went through a pre marriage workbook that we both owned before knowing each other. We kept finding out that we thought exactly alike on numerous issues and talked through things really well when we had different ideas about things.

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How long did you date before you married her?

about 10 months.

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What kind of wedding ceremony did you have?

Simple but not spartan. My parents paid $8k for the wedding. Hers paid about $8k in travel tickets, so it worked out to be amenable between our families.

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Did you test her at all?

No, not enough. In terms of values and morals? Yes. In terms of life habits and goals? Not enough.

I didn't value my own advice to myself enough over my feelings. I didn't test her on how serious she was about excercise and diet. She has blown up about +80 lbs after getting married and went from a curvy to actively "whale-like". I find her weight to be an embarrasment. She went from being a 6, 7 on a good day to a 3 or 4. Now I end up staying up late because I don't want to go to bed with her. I have to wait until I'm too horny to think straight or I'm not interested in sex with her in a physical sense.

Wish I hadn't married her and would not do it all over again for her. Love my 5 kids though, and can't afford a divorce or I'd be gone. Also much more complex with a lot of kids.

In hindsight, what really caught my eye is that we would talk (I thought) and she wanted a family and to be married. We got along really well on values... What I didn't think through was how compatible we would be in terms of interests and activities. I also had poor game and a porn addiction. Porn has caused me alot of problems over time and wish I never developed the habit of looking at it or reading erotica. I've managed my addiction over the years to be more functional but it's still a problem. My biggest reason for marrying in hindsight was I had just gotten too fucking lonely and she was the first girl to come along that was suitable.

Guys, don't marry a woman because you're lonely. It's just as bad as thinking only with your dick.
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#28

For the Married Men: What caught your eye and kept it?

Quote: (01-25-2017 05:05 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  

Could you elaborate on her wanting to be your property a bit more?

After she gave me her virginity, she said "God created me for you, I am your helper and property. You own me." The sincerity of that, plus her voicing it again and again afterwards, in and out of the bedroom, made me realise how much of a bibilically submissive woman she is, and that I should wife her up.

It is a constant theme in our dating and eventual marriage, because it is our best weapon against the poisonous feminist equality model, which has also invaded most of Christian churches these days. Sometimes it's in serious topics such as Biblical talks about male headship and female submission, woman being created by God to be man's helper, which is the marriage model that we follow. Usually though it's playful RVF-esque stuff like me complimenting her on her hair or some other body parts and saying that "you take care of my property well, beautiful baby". Or me complimenting her with something like "mmm boobies" and her correcting me with "YOUR boobies". Or me saying she's smart with something, and her responding with "I'm smart because I'm yours / I'm made for you".

If I have to describe what a woman deliriously happy and deep in love looks like, it would be her in those moments.

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Was there anything in particular that was a turning point for her brother, or did he just cool off and give you more of a chance?

His family, especially his father, was very upset when he first showed me disrespect at a family gathering. However, I told them that I'm not bothered by it, and he's just a young man trying to find his place in the world, I can let that one slide. I also do not care much about whether he wants to give me a chance or not, and I know that sometimes young men like posturing just to see where they are in the hierarchy.

The turning point likely came when there was a bit of family drama involving him, and his father asked me how to approach it. I simply said to give him more credit as a man and talk to him directly like one. In essence, his family were dreading that he would make mistakes and fail, I was saying that he's a young man now and should go make his own mistakes if needed, and we should respect that.

I've coached plenty of young men in sports and mentored similar at work, so I deal much better with him than his family.

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Do you have plan for the homeschool? Textbooks you'll use/how fast you'll go through material, what material you'll cover?

No detailed plan yet, but we have all the skills we need between us and then some, plus my dad is a retired teacher who can help. I am making contacts with the homeschooling community here and learning from them at the moment. Some of them sound very much like RVF members, although I have not verified that yet with our secret password. [Image: wink.gif]

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Please do! I just read your engagement thread and it was epic.

Thanks again for contributing to this thread! I'm very inspired by your example.

G

Cheers thanks a lot, I will [Image: smile.gif]
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#29

For the Married Men: What caught your eye and kept it?

Quote:Quote:

Among the married men who are comfortable sharing, how did you meet your wife?

I met her through social contacts when I was studying Thai language - I let me classmates (who were here for longer than I was) that I was looking to settle down and find a good wive. After going out a few times, she was with her other friends and came to the activity we were doing - that's where I exchanged numbers and told her I would go on another date with her soon. It took around 2 weeks, and I was on my first dinner date (I know, I know, but she was LTR material anyway).

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What was it about her, that made you decide she was wife and mother of your children?

When discussing with her, I was trying to ascertain whether she would be a plate, or my next relationship. Our first date laster several hours in which I learned the following:

* Mandatory requirements to even consider marriage *
- She is a virgin
- Her parents are still married, mother was a virgin bride
- She wants children
- She often goes to the temple
- Aged 28

* Other positive points that add to her credit*
- She enjoys cleaning
- She can cook
- Has never set foot in the Western world

* Negative points *
- Presence of LGBT in the family (one distant cousin, so I ignored it)
- Father once cheated on her mother (ignored because her mother stayed faithful despite that)

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Why did you choose that (or those) quality above others as the most important?

For me, virginity is the #1 requirement to consider marriage. I like to find that out right at the beginning, because it prevents both us from wasting our time should I find out later that she's pre-deflowered by another man. I don't want a girl from a broken home (too many reasons), and she needs to be religious. I set a max age of 27, she was 28 but everything else was OK so I didn't make a case about it.

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What did your parents/family say about her? Was she a good fit for you/your family? Were you a good fit for hers?

My family hated every girl I've brought before them so far, and they have always been right. Everytime they warned me about a major flaw they found in the girl, I ignored them, to find out later that they were right. I decided that before I bring a girl before my family, we need to commited, as I didn't want to become to fool that brings a different girl every Christmas. Once I made up my mind, I invited her to Canada. Since Thai women are not allowed to obtain a visa to Canada, I included her on my second passport application and we got the passports right on time for Christmas. My family was overjoyed by her arrival and didn't find any flaw.

As for her family, they were reclutant as first. I showed up the first time by motorcycle and I could hear her conversation with her father through the door. He was saying that he didn't trust that I had enough money to take care of her and that she should be careful. I told them I had stuff to do, took my motorcycle back, and rolled in my brand new Porsche. That was the end of the story.

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Did you guys discuss how you'd raise children, have them visit family once or twice a year?

Of course. We plan to have 4 kids. Two of each gender. We'll get the 2 first ones by natural intercourse, and the other 2 ones by family-balancing IVF technique. I made sure to choose a house far from the in-laws to prevent them from being always here.

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Was there any long distance in the relationship at all?

Nope, except when I went back to my country once (5 weeks).

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How long did you date before you married her?

Around 18 months. It was quite short, but I have strict and precise criteria for marriage and she satisfied them all so she got right in.

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What kind of wedding ceremony did you have?

A HUGE one. Lasted over a week, and costed 6 figures. We hired the best we could. Most importantly, we had a prenup and she didn't even try to object to it. The prenup states that she has no right to attempt to take any share or any percentage in any of my assets regardless of what happens in my relationship. However, we hope to never come to this,

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Did you test her at all?

Not sure what kind of test, but if you're talking about STD, she was a virgin. As for "shit tests", that's not really part of our relationship.
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#30

For the Married Men: What caught your eye and kept it?

We met at work. She was 18, I was 27 so we took it super slow as neither expected it to last. What attracted me, despite her being very attractive, was she was super mature and very sensible. I was ready to marry early but waited until she was old enough to be sure before I asked.

Marriage isn't hard nor that different. Kids is the big move. When kids come along you won't care about boobs or long blonde hair. Your son/daughter will need a mother and that is all that will matter.
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#31

For the Married Men: What caught your eye and kept it?

Quote: (02-12-2017 07:10 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:  

After she gave me her virginity, she said "God created me for you, I am your helper and property. You own me."

[Image: bhorly.gif]

My blog: https://fireandforget.co

"There's something primal about choking a girl. I always choke a girl as soon as possible after meeting her, it never fails to get the pussy juices flowing."
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#32

For the Married Men: What caught your eye and kept it?

Quote: (02-12-2017 06:18 AM)Tytalus Wrote:  

Among the married men who are comfortable sharing, how did you meet your wife?

Through a dating site strongly oriented towards people who wanted to marry.

I didn't really think there were any reliable ones around. All I know if match.com and eHarmony, but those, if I recall correctly, are pay sites and have variable results.

Quote:Quote:

What was it about her, that made you decide she was wife and mother of your children?

Shared religion, good person, could sing and liked kids. Also had been a professional baby sitter. Was pretty enough at the time, and not too small. I never liked women so small that they look like a pregnancy would make them explode or have to have a c-section. Now I know better.

How was she a good person?

What do you know better?

Quote:Quote:

Why did you choose that (or those) quality above others as the most important?

Singing and being a babysitter. I had found someone who still liked kids after working 60 hours a week with them.

Smart! I like it.

Quote:Quote:

What did your parents/family say about her? Was she a good fit for you/your family? Were you a good fit for hers?

Great fit all around. The only issue my parents had (which I wished they had pushed me harder on) was the history of mental illness. blew up in my face after the second baby with post partum depression.

Oh my. How did you deal with and move past that?

Quote:Quote:

Did you guys discuss how you'd raise children, have them visit family once or twice a year?

Absolutely.

Are you guys old school? Could you elaborate on how you guys chose to raise your children?

Quote:Quote:

Was there any long distance in the relationship at all?

Initially yes. We talked for a few months via phone cards and had great conversations. In fact, going back to your earlier questions, one of the reasons I married her is that we went through a pre marriage workbook that we both owned before knowing each other.

What's a pre-marriage work book?

Quote:Quote:

How long did you date before you married her?


about 10 months.


For me, that is a quick turn around. What made you so sure she was worthy of being your wife and mother of your children?

Quote:Quote:

What kind of wedding ceremony did you have?

Simple but not spartan. My parents paid $8k for the wedding. Hers paid about $8k in travel tickets, so it worked out to be amenable between our families.

That's great that both families were able to nearly completely split the costs.

Quote:Quote:

Did you test her at all?

No, not enough. In terms of values and morals? Yes. In terms of life habits and goals? Not enough.

I didn't value my own advice to myself enough over my feelings. I didn't test her on how serious she was about excercise and diet. She has blown up about +80 lbs after getting married and went from a curvy to actively "whale-like". I find her weight to be an embarrasment. She went from being a 6, 7 on a good day to a 3 or 4. Now I end up staying up late because I don't want to go to bed with her. I have to wait until I'm too horny to think straight or I'm not interested in sex with her in a physical sense.

Wish I hadn't married her and would not do it all over again for her. Love my 5 kids though, and can't afford a divorce or I'd be gone. Also much more complex with a lot of kids.

In hindsight, what really caught my eye is that we would talk (I thought) and she wanted a family and to be married. We got along really well on values... What I didn't think through was how compatible we would be in terms of interests and activities. I also had poor game and a porn addiction. Porn has caused me alot of problems over time and wish I never developed the habit of looking at it or reading erotica. I've managed my addiction over the years to be more functional but it's still a problem. My biggest reason for marrying in hindsight was I had just gotten too fucking lonely and she was the first girl to come along that was suitable.

Guys, don't marry a woman because you're lonely. It's just as bad as thinking only with your dick.

Good solid advice in there. Sorry to hear about your wife, but at least she gave you 5 healthy kids.

What problems did the addiction cause you? How did your manage it?

G
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#33

For the Married Men: What caught your eye and kept it?

Didn't see your reply, answers below.

____________________________________

Quote: (02-06-2017 04:24 AM)Ski pro Wrote:  

Tinder

Really? How did the initial conversation go?

i can't remember it all, was fairly normal, we met for a date, usual shit tests nothing out of the ordinary except for me realizing that she was a bit different from all the others.

Quote: (02-06-2017 04:24 AM)Ski pro Wrote:  

I was divorced before I met her and the previous relationship was conducted within a blue pill frame. The previous relationship broke down due to perceived status changes.

Could you elaborate more on the perceived status change?

. Yes. Mrs ski pro #1 I met when I was living a very different life earning good money in a big city. We had a house and living the standard life. However, when I deceived to change all that and live out here and ski for a living , things changed fast. She never liked it and maybe thought it was just a phase.



Quote: (02-06-2017 04:24 AM)Ski pro Wrote:  

Before I went into this relationship with Mrs ski pro, I had a very specific list of qualities that I wanted my next Ltr to have. I can't remember them all and I no longer have the phone which they were written in but it was something like;

Makes me laugh
Interesting

There were three others I no longer remember

Anyway, Mrs ski pro hit most of them. I enjoy spending time with her and she appears interested and supportive of what I do.

Did she make you laugh? Was she interesting?

. Yes, yes

Not many girls make me laugh, I find most of them fairly boring.


- What did your parents/family say about her? Was she a good fit for you/your family? Were you a good fit for hers?

Quote: (02-06-2017 04:24 AM)Ski pro Wrote:  

My family think she's great. They are mainly happy that I'm happy.

That's really rare these days, it seems.

Quote: (02-06-2017 04:24 AM)Ski pro Wrote:  

- Was there any long distance in the relationship at all?

About an 1h30 by car in the early times.

Did you have a plan to close the distance?

. I did and I have. We are buying a house together so we are no longer living in two separate places,


Quote: (02-06-2017 04:24 AM)Ski pro Wrote:  

- How long did you date before you married her?

2 years

What made it 2 years instead of 3 or four?

child

- Did you test her at all?

Quote: (02-06-2017 04:24 AM)Ski pro Wrote:  

All the time. Remember, the game never stops. You have to game your woman all the time. Read up on dread game by Rollo tomassi?


I hope this help, seriously, having a list of things you want in a woman, help screen out the shit ones.

It really does, thank you.

good luck

___________________________
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