I do fully understand that guys are (rightfully) worried about culture. I love living where I live but I sometimes do wonder if I'll ever truly be able to understand the people here.
The only reason i've been poking so much fun in this thread is because an obvious truth has been skipped way too often. We apply this truth when it comes time for game, but guys are selectively blind to it when it comes to their relationships and family life.
If some stranger sat down next to you on a train and said, "Hi, i'm Chris and my son is a fuck up and my marriage failed"
and you said, "uh ok, why?"
and he said, "because my wife and I don't share the same culture." What would you think? I'd be with Jordan on this one.
Seriously, would you take this dude at his word and believe him? I sure as fuck wouldn't. I'd be thinking to myself, "this guy is a loser and I feel sorry for his wife for picking so poorly."
I'm not saying you should ignore culture, because it is important. If you don't like your wife's culture then you don't like your wife, but we are still accountable in this situations, especially if your wife and your wife's family are willing to work with you.
I have a cousin who has happa/black kids. Their daughters speak 4 languages and aren't even 20 yet and they are probably way smarter than most 16-year-olds. That didn't just work because of "culture," nope. They worked hard on their daughters and their daughters will probably be doing well moving into young adulthood and beyond.
I suppose I do have some stock in this battle because I am black and hispanic, but I'd say one thing that you can do to keep your kids from going nuts is to make sure that they don't have to "pick a side."
Really, who gives a flying fuck if your kid identifies more as asian, black or white or whatever. The Bottomline is that they should feel good about themselves. Teach your son game, make sure he's a good student, teach him how to pick solid friends, get him some boxing lessons, make sure he's involved in things that help him build an identity as "that guy" instead of as "that (race) guy." No one is gonna give a shit about your son's race when he's cool, confident and happy. They'll be too busy mirin'.
People only worry about "what they are" when their self-esteem is fucked up. They start hitting an indentity crisis because they don't have anything else to feel good about so at least they can feel good about being half-white or half-black or whatever. I have a lot of happa friends back home and the ones who are cool as fuck NEVER talk about their race. I only know because I asked. THey don't complain about it and their families don't make a big deal about it either.
The only reason i've been poking so much fun in this thread is because an obvious truth has been skipped way too often. We apply this truth when it comes time for game, but guys are selectively blind to it when it comes to their relationships and family life.
If some stranger sat down next to you on a train and said, "Hi, i'm Chris and my son is a fuck up and my marriage failed"
and you said, "uh ok, why?"
and he said, "because my wife and I don't share the same culture." What would you think? I'd be with Jordan on this one.
Seriously, would you take this dude at his word and believe him? I sure as fuck wouldn't. I'd be thinking to myself, "this guy is a loser and I feel sorry for his wife for picking so poorly."
I'm not saying you should ignore culture, because it is important. If you don't like your wife's culture then you don't like your wife, but we are still accountable in this situations, especially if your wife and your wife's family are willing to work with you.
I have a cousin who has happa/black kids. Their daughters speak 4 languages and aren't even 20 yet and they are probably way smarter than most 16-year-olds. That didn't just work because of "culture," nope. They worked hard on their daughters and their daughters will probably be doing well moving into young adulthood and beyond.
I suppose I do have some stock in this battle because I am black and hispanic, but I'd say one thing that you can do to keep your kids from going nuts is to make sure that they don't have to "pick a side."
Really, who gives a flying fuck if your kid identifies more as asian, black or white or whatever. The Bottomline is that they should feel good about themselves. Teach your son game, make sure he's a good student, teach him how to pick solid friends, get him some boxing lessons, make sure he's involved in things that help him build an identity as "that guy" instead of as "that (race) guy." No one is gonna give a shit about your son's race when he's cool, confident and happy. They'll be too busy mirin'.
People only worry about "what they are" when their self-esteem is fucked up. They start hitting an indentity crisis because they don't have anything else to feel good about so at least they can feel good about being half-white or half-black or whatever. I have a lot of happa friends back home and the ones who are cool as fuck NEVER talk about their race. I only know because I asked. THey don't complain about it and their families don't make a big deal about it either.
I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.