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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

I was thinking about this today as to how I'd advise my hypothetical future 18 year old son about 'the ways of the world'. I've recently gone back to college for engineering and there's a mixed bag of students on the course. A few 18 year olds who remind me of myself at their age etc; one of whom i tried bringing up idea that, maybe it'd be wise to ditch his long distance girlfriend who has just started university and has already tried to initiate a break up during her freshers week.... But I guess some people need to learn things that hard way.

1. Do not go to university at 18. When I was 18 I was desperate to get out of mum and dads house and live independently; for some reason it never occurred to me that there were other ways to achieve that - perhaps because everyone else was doing it? Luckily I avoided debt as my grandparents had set money aside.

2. Travel and work odd jobs until you're at least 22; then pick something to apprentice in or study that you have learned is a good idea from having actual experience in the world.

3. Girls are for sex and for fun; they're not 'soul mates' *shudders*. Get your virginity out the way early and get experience with girls (traveling makes this one possible). Knowing how sex actually operates makes you a far more functional and reasonable human being in all aspects of life.

4. Learn to have value and don't tolerate being around losers; don't be afraid to do your own thing. Most of your friends will dissapear by the time you're 25 anyway.
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

Lift weights
Not pass up on a lot of the ass that I did

Bruising cervix since 96
#TeamBeard
"I just want to live out my days drinking virgin margaritas and banging virgin señoritas" - Uncle Cr33pin
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

Get out of the LTR with chubby girlfriend and take full advantage of the college environment. Stop playing video games. Lift. Grow some balls and approach.

But really it isn't healthy to beat yourself up with hindsight. I try not to dwell on thoughts like this.
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

I would day game like crazy all the girls I used to see on the bus to school.
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

I would stick with jiu jitsu and not quit like a fucking retard.

Seriously learning to do shit that is heavily physical like a combat sport is way easier in your early twenties.

"If you're gonna raise a ruckus, one word of advice: if you're gonna do wrong, buddy, do wrong right."
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

Everything.

[Image: Back-To-The-Future-2-Gray-s-Sports-Alman...zine-1.jpg]
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

There are a few things I could say I would do differently

But, one thing I've learnt as I've got older is you take for granted the lessons you learnt, the knowledge you acquired and the character you built from those things

Would you have the same level of emotional leverage and experience to draw back on if you didn't do those things?

Would you be as greatful and appreciative as you are now if you hadn't experienced pain, loss and failure previously

It's hard to say

Some of my biggest 'failures' at the time, have turned out to be the exact things that have put me on the path I'm on now. They were a puzzle piece. It was almost necessary everything happen the way it did for things to be the way they are now

If the things that didn't turn out the way I wanted, did turn out the way I wanted, would I actually be wanting to do what I'm doing now and have regret anyway? (you've got to remember our brain has a habit of looking back on our past and idealising things, and also forgetting a lot of the bad)

This is why reminiscing can be a dangerous game, and it's better to focus on the future.

...having said all of that. If there were 6 things I would tell my 18 year old self, it's this:

1) no matter which way you look at life, money is the name of the game (despite what we are told about money being evil). Get your money sorted first. Even if you are not a material person.
Get to financial independence (meeting your basic living costs) as quick as possible, and build some passive income so you aren't continually trading your time for money into your future
You don't need to be rich or famous. You just need enough to live and do the thing you want to in life. It's better if you don't clutter up your life with huge businesses and lots of possessions you don't need that only add stress
After that point, then build skills and build your life out to both enjoy life, and create the change in yourself, and then the world you think will move society in a more positive direction (use all your money to do good things if you want to)
Having money sorted and projects to work on are like that rock you can always go back to in life to keep you steady. It gives you stability and peace of mind through breakups, deaths, illnesses, and so on

2) understand that 99.9% of people in life are flawed in so many ways, and are slaves to their own biases, addictions, inability to challenge and change their beliefs, sins (jealously, greed, gluttony etc) and their fears.

Most of the issues we have in society would be fixed by now if we were able to see the big picture/long term and not just what is in front of us, separate our own needs from the needs of society, and separate our emotions from logic. But, that is not the case. Most people are absolute zombies. Accept it and work with what it is.

Based on this flaw in our biology, there are also very few people that you can actually help grow and improve their lives. Focus on growing yourself, and if someone shows the initiative to ask for help, appreciates that help, and ask constructive questions for more help - only then help them. You'll save so much time and stress.

If you find emotionally aware, driven, kind, appreciative people - make sure they know how much you value them.

3) Give yourself at least a decade (from 18 to the age of around 30) to see all the patterns in life and society that will help you refine your decision making process of what to do next. I was way too hard on myself for not being able to progress at certain points of my life to the next level, when I should have just accepted that some things just take time and relaxed a little more.

4) Understand that unicorns do not exist. Every single woman is fatally flawed in one way, shape or form. The trick is to live the best life you can, and if a girl comes along naturally, you need to know how to screen her, and set the boundaries early. A woman must show she respects you, listens to you, and can communicate with you when there are problems if the relationship is to last long term and stay healthy. You should have zero doubt she is willing to do anything for you to stick around for the long term. She should theoretically be given the chance to leave you for any other man or any other person or thing and still choose to stay with you. Tell her you want to be with her, but she is welcome to leave at any point, and see what she says and does. Be slow to get into a relationship, and quick to break up and move on from one if you see repeated destructive behavior from a partner, or red flags popping up at any point.
Having said that, don't be a lazy entitled pig. Put the work into yourself to fix all the shittiness and rough edges in yourself first, and into being the best man you can be that deserves that sort of standard from a woman.
Be excellent, and expect excellent.
The irony is that this puts you into some level of isolation because there's very few excellent single sane people out there.
That's ok though - if it happens it happens, if not, find other productive or fulfilling things to do.

5) Care about your health. Exercise at least 10 minutes a day, and learn to eat healthy while still in your 20's. Get in good shape and stay in good shape.

6) Life is not fair. Remind yourself of that daily. You or someone you know could literally die tomorrow. There is only so much control you have over it and the rest is random or chance. Accept unfair or illogical things and move on and make the best of the rest of your life. Find things to smile, laugh and be positive about. Don't be so serious 24/7. Set time aside to be silly and joke around and take the edge off
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

I'd become an MD, or a Dentist...some field where I would be insulated from the female takeover of Corporate America that occurred in my lifetime, and so adversely affected me. Also, if you have your own medical practice, you can work as long as you like. Corporations like to terminate you around 54 or so. It's VERY hard getting a job at that point - lots of age discrimination.

HR torments white men in my field. If you're a doctor, or a dentist, or something like that, HR....Doesn't. Exist.
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

Realize earlier that most (if not all) constructs, limits and norms that you're expected to follow and adhere to, are built and set by people who are not necessarily smarter, stronger, wiser or more capable than you.

Let that sink in, then everything else falls into place

“Our great danger is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.” ― Rollo Tomassi
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

I wouldn't date, marry or cohabit with a western woman.
Too easy for them to take your home and assets, and future earnings.
I'd work hard in the western world and have bang holidays in the 3rd (non-white) world.
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

Join a fraternity.

The guys I know who have a solid group of friends from college that they still hang with years after graduation were all in frats. I'd always thought the hazing bullshit was pretty sketchy, but it's clear to me now that it taps into human psychology on a deep level, probably beyond anyone's understanding, to form valued camaraderie. That's missing from a lot of adult lives.

Not to mention the access to sorority girls [Image: angel.gif]
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

I would have put a lot more money away and I would have seriously tried to date Donald Bellisario's daughters.
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

When I was 18 at this time, I was at a cult Catholic college and out of my mind. Here's what I would do from there on

1. Do not go back to the college I went to when I started.
2. Go straight into Accounting at a community college.
3. Move out into an apartment as I had a bit of money when my dad died after realizing my mom's a narcissist.
4. Get laid sooner than later.
5. Trust my instincts more.

I should've just been more open with my psychologist (who is male) about what was going on instead of being quiet.

But then I wouldn't have learned the lessons I did and I could've been somewhere worse or maybe something worse would happen to me.
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If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?

I would skip college. I recently spoke with my dad and he said he would have let me invest that money instead. Kind of makes my blood boil thinking about that wasted opportunity.

I would start working right after high school, and spend time travelling. I would save and invest (401k, IRA, etc.), and realize the importance of financial independence and minimalism.

And most importantly, I would have the mindset to completely avoid alcohol. It isn't necessary to be confident, have fun, get women, etc. My drunk stupidity has caused a lot of unnecessary problems.
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