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Need Help with Conversing with Girls
#1

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

I'm having a great difficulty in hooking girls on the second day I meet them. I'm trying to get the art of conversation with a girl down solid. So I got 2 questions about this:

1) When meeting a girl and getting to know her, should I start talking about her or about myelf?

2) Is there a conversation pattern to keep the conversation exciting?
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#2

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

The less you talk, the better. After you get them hooked, ask a couple probing questions.

Where are you from? What do you do for work? What brought you here? Etc.

Follow up with another question. You want to get her to talk about herself in a lot of detail.

Continue to get her to babble on about her lame mundane life. She'll eventually ask about your life. Keep it vague in the beginning.

Throughout the date/night, drop little anchors into the conversation. What I mean by that is little pieces of information that make you seem super interesting.

"Yeah, things were way different when I lived in X country/state/city."

You get the idea.

This works best if you've actually lived an interesting life or have interesting hobbies.
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#3

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-24-2016 02:54 AM)nidall Wrote:  

I'm having a great difficulty in hooking girls on the second day I meet them. I'm trying to get the art of conversation with a girl down solid. So I got 2 questions about this:

1) When meeting a girl and getting to know her, should I start talking about her or about myelf?

2) Is there a conversation pattern to keep the conversation exciting?

People (especially women) love speaking about themselves, and you should definitely start your conversation along this strain. You'll have to be the one asking the questions, and you should find she gets more and more receptive as you carry on talking.

There is no conversation pattern. If you have to ask this, you need to speak to people more in general and just learn the art of keeping a conversation ticking over. But ideally you'd want to start flipping the topic of conversation over to you and get to speak about some of your high-value traits or experiences. Travelling, languages, sport, business (can be risky), etc..
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#4

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

When I first started going out on dates I had a memorized list of questions to prevent running out of conversation. As I recall it did fulfill that purpose pretty well. I go off on the track of the first question, eventually it would peter out and I'd go onto the next one. That became kind of a habit even now, so whenever the conversation seems about to stall I automatically ask one of those questions without thinking.

Ignore anything where people say focus on "just get her talking" or "just ramble on". Aim for around 50 50. That's a natural, fully engaged interaction.

Your conversation being interesting will come from your life experiences and how insightful you are generally about any topic of conversation. It being exciting typically means anything you do to create tension, such as teasing or any other responses that deliberately break rapport.
Simple example: if she were to say "those are nice shoes":
boring: "oh yeah thanks"
interesting - "yeah I got them when I was in Thailand, the previous pair fell apart during a hike".
exciting: "yeah I know you're jelly, please don't steal them ok?"

It's OK to briefly go off on tangents on things, tell stories etc, to demonstrate your value incidentally (make it sound purely you talking about an interest, versus deliberately trying to brag). Just make sure it doesn't go too long and you end with a question to her about something else.
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#5

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-24-2016 02:54 AM)nidall Wrote:  

I'm having a great difficulty in hooking girls on the second day I meet them. I'm trying to get the art of conversation with a girl down solid. So I got 2 questions about this:

1) When meeting a girl and getting to know her, should I start talking about her or about myelf?

2) Is there a conversation pattern to keep the conversation exciting?

1. You start with yourself and move to her.
Example: You talk about something, mention how it relates to you. Then ask what's her take on it. You need to be genuinely interested.

2. No pattern, but you need good anecdotes, which you can rehearse.
Keep it flowing. If a subject dies, move to the next one.
The more you practice, the better you become. One can practice with anyone - even people on public transportation (one of my favourites).

Liked @Pheounix's tips as well

"I love a fulfilling and sexual relationship. That is why I make the effort to have many of those" - TheMaleBrain
"Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." - Spaceballs
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" - Obi-Wan Kenobi
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#6

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

I like your style, you don't ask all your questions on one thread,

You divide it in two categories that are very related and ask two questions per thread.

Very organized I must say
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#7

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Start talking to all kinds of people, old ladies, people next to you in line, girls you wouldn't bang.
It just gets you good at fearlessly breaking the ice and finding common ground with strangers. It also displays your social value as one with social grace and ease. I routinely make rooms of perfect strangers all laugh in unison. Then one you do chat up a girl she doesn't have her guard up because she sees you are someone that engages whoever is around you. After that ask questions. Most people would rather talk about themselves. Eventually, she will begin asking questions about you and you use a combination of aloofness, amused mastery, and older brother type game if she shit tests.
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#8

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-24-2016 03:05 AM)wi30 Wrote:  

The less you talk, the better. After you get them hooked, ask a couple probing questions.

Yes but HOW do you get girls hooked into you?? Thats the question. I want to be able to get them hooked hard. Thats the most important point in game. Once you get them hooked you can control the interaction how you want. But the point is to get them hooked. How do you get them hooked in the first place?

Quote: (09-24-2016 04:48 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  

Your conversation being interesting will come from your life experiences and how insightful you are generally about any topic of conversation. It being exciting typically means anything you do to create tension, such as teasing or any other responses that deliberately break rapport.
Simple example: if she were to say "those are nice shoes":
boring: "oh yeah thanks"
interesting - "yeah I got them when I was in Thailand, the previous pair fell apart during a hike".
exciting: "yeah I know you're jelly, please don't steal them ok?"

So to make conversations exciting I should make stories from my life experiences exciting?
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#9

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

I agree with Phoenix for the most part, it's good to have conversation around 50-50. But after you get them to open up, they should be talking 60 to 70 percent of the time. Putting up with their inane ramblings causes them to like you more. It's human nature. In the beginning, you will be doing the majority of the talking. Towards the end, she should be.

As far as getting them hooked, how are you meeting these girls? Day, night, online?

Attraction is nonverbal. She's watching every movement, eye glance, and facial expression subconsciously. You're attracting her with body language.

If you are having second dates that are awkward or aren't going well, it's because she isn't feeling your vibe/swagger or whatever you want to call it. It isn't just about the conversation. I'd guess you have bad posture, fidget or make weird movements or something.

Think of how you talk and interact with your buddies. I'm assuming when you're in a comfortable setting with buddies, you talk confidently, are witty and funny, and have fun with the conversation. You need to do that with girls too.

It's obviously impossible to diagnose why you aren't hooking girls from the few posts you've written. You need to check your ego and dissect everything about every interaction in order to isolate the problem.

I'm betting you aren't controlling the frame or interaction.

And the best way to have exciting conversations is to actually live an exciting life. Get out of your comfort zone and enjoy life to the fullest. It doesn't matter if you are climbing mountains or touring with a band, just make cool shit happen. I'm sure you can tell the difference between talking to a cool and interesting dude versus some loser who plays video games all day. Girls can too.
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#10

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-25-2016 12:03 AM)wi30 Wrote:  

As far as getting them hooked, how are you meeting these girls? Day, night, online?

I'm meeting girls in the day time only.

Quote:Quote:

If you are having second dates that are awkward or aren't going well, it's because she isn't feeling your vibe/swagger or whatever you want to call it. It isn't just about the conversation. I'd guess you have bad posture, fidget or make weird movements or something.

I'm betting you aren't controlling the frame or interaction.

No, during 2nd dates my posture, voice tone, etc are fine. I'm confident. But its probably like you said, my vibe. I'm probably not exuding manly sexuality in a macho or alpha way, although I believe I am. I really dont know. But I need to get this part of my game fixed.
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#11

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-24-2016 05:20 PM)nidall Wrote:  

Quote: (09-24-2016 03:05 AM)wi30 Wrote:  

The less you talk, the better. After you get them hooked, ask a couple probing questions.

Yes but HOW do you get girls hooked into you?? Thats the question. I want to be able to get them hooked hard. Thats the most important point in game. Once you get them hooked you can control the interaction how you want. But the point is to get them hooked. How do you get them hooked in the first place?

Quote: (09-24-2016 04:48 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  

Your conversation being interesting will come from your life experiences and how insightful you are generally about any topic of conversation. It being exciting typically means anything you do to create tension, such as teasing or any other responses that deliberately break rapport.
Simple example: if she were to say "those are nice shoes":
boring: "oh yeah thanks"
interesting - "yeah I got them when I was in Thailand, the previous pair fell apart during a hike".
exciting: "yeah I know you're jelly, please don't steal them ok?"

So to make conversations exciting I should make stories from my life experiences exciting?

You hook a girl by creating attraction. There are many ways to create attractions. Looks, your vibe and status play a part.The rest is done by your game. SO, let's say you approach a girl and she stays and listen to you.

During the initial approach you, you have to create a fun happy interaction. No serious political or religious talks. Do role play, tease a bit, create an imaginative story. Imagine yourself as a king who is ruling the world, a special agent fighting the mafias, a time traveler looking to change the history, an alien looking for a female to make babies. try to include her in your stories.

Another way is DHV(demonstration of higher value). You do this by telling an interesting story about your life. Travel,hobbies,work,and knowledge. It is similar to Roosh's method of rambling. Dropping small info to her, which we call bait to allow her to ask you questions. For example, "During my last vacation, I went to a place that had so many weird looking people at the bars." If she asks "Where was it." Then that's a hook point, you keep on talking, then ask her is she where she had traveled.

Try to find a common point then. Will all these included you mix it up with a bit of teasing. Play hard a bit to get. Challenge her.

A girl that asks you multiple questions and talks about her in a long elaborative way is a hooked girl. Once she has asked about 5 or more questions then the aim is to build more rapport and comfort which is done in the first date.

Once you get all these done, you will start to learn yourself.

take a look at some good daygame books. There is Day Bang(Indirect) by Roosh and Beginner Daygame Bible(Direct) by Nick Krauser. After that, you will have to self-diagnose yourself. You said not being enough alpha during the dates. But remember you manage to attract the girl and get her on the date. Which means you lose your frame after a while. This is a typical beginner mistake. I have squandered lots of dates by not maintaining my frame during my dates. I am still trying to improve myself regarding this issue. Remember that the deal is only sealed once you get the pussy.

Good luck and keep daygaming. It's the ultimate way of meeting quality woman out there
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#12

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-25-2016 01:35 PM)nidall Wrote:  

Quote: (09-25-2016 12:03 AM)wi30 Wrote:  

As far as getting them hooked, how are you meeting these girls? Day, night, online?

I'm meeting girls in the day time only.

Quote:Quote:

If you are having second dates that are awkward or aren't going well, it's because she isn't feeling your vibe/swagger or whatever you want to call it. It isn't just about the conversation. I'd guess you have bad posture, fidget or make weird movements or something.

I'm betting you aren't controlling the frame or interaction.

No, during 2nd dates my posture, voice tone, etc are fine. I'm confident. But its probably like you said, my vibe. I'm probably not exuding manly sexuality in a macho or alpha way, although I believe I am. I really dont know. But I need to get this part of my game fixed.

If that's the case, check out the inner game section of Bang. It could be your mindset. I'd also recommend Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich.
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#13

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-24-2016 02:54 AM)nidall Wrote:  

1) When meeting a girl and getting to know her, should I start talking about her or about myself?

Both ways work well. However in my experience it's easier to engage a girl by talking about her than by talking yourself. I'd say it depends on your conversational skills, overall charisma, your flow at a time, etc. So..

If you want something simple and effective then talking about the girl should work well. It's interesting, surprising, unpredictable. Basically anything you say specifically about that girl, any opinion, observation, random thought relevant to her, projection, prediction, comparison, etc etc, will provoke reaction and engage.

You can be talking about something super cool and then you will add that her "nose wiggles funny when she laughs and it's like he's laughing on his own blablabla.." and that one little remark will touch her inside and literally focus her attention 10x better than you story. She will simply have to know what's up with her nose, why you think what you think, etc.

So if you can use something about her, looks, clothes, demeanor, point of view, etc and riff off of that talking about random things she will be hooked really well, as long as she likes you, at least a bit. Even when uncomfortable silence [if it occurs] can be used as topic ["why are you doing it to me? you're making me shy you know.. that silence is too tense but somehow I cannot stop looking in your eyes.."].

If you are comfortable speaking a lot and you're full of ideas for conversation then you can let that shit flow and engage a girl this way too. You will just bombard her with so many threads at once that she will not catch up and get lost in the world you build with your words.

One of benefits of this is that you will not walk on eggshells as it sometimes happens with a girl on a 1st date. You will just talk talk talk about whatever pops up in your head and let imagination carry on the conversation. For example, you're in cafe and want to order something, you might say shit like.. "ok i heard that waitresses can feel when a customer wants to order something by feeling his eyes on themselves, let's try it now and see if it's true or not, cause you know maybe it appears on how handsome the customer is, I'm decent but who knows, besides I hope that she is the real waitress, OK 3.. 2.. 1.. start, I feel weird staring at her, tell me am I looking like a creeper? don't lie, you can tell me, I won't get offended... so far I suck at it.. or she's not feeling it, maybe I should do it more intense.. or maybe not... tell me would you feel me if I stared at you like that? blablablabla...". Something like this [I can bullshit like that all day long].

The girl will feel like she's watching a move or something. When you include her in what you say and do she will be engaged. Some might rightfully point out it's playing an entertainer, OK, as long as YOU enjoy it and entertain yourself it's fine cause you would do the same with your friends. Doing it FOR THE GIRL to entertain her will make you look like a tool. There's a big difference.




Quote: (09-24-2016 02:54 AM)nidall Wrote:  

2) Is there a conversation pattern to keep the conversation exciting?

In short.. say contrasting stuff and be unpredictable. That's the pattern. If you want to be technically correct then pay attention to the stimulus you provide. Don't stick to one topic/emotion/vibe/tone/etc in the conversation.

However there are times when you both connect over something you talk about so that's not the best to switch topics. If she's eating out of your hand then keep feeding her that.

More.. https://xxlbase.quora.com/%E2%80%9CHOW-T...-%E2%80%9D
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#14

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Personally the best way I've bettered my conversational skills has been listing to podcast,specifically 'the joe rogan experience"

A lot of times just having interesting shit to say will carry the conversation, and you'll find your self going on tangents,but that is what makes talking with people (girls specifically) really fun
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#15

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-24-2016 12:46 PM)Mjölnir Wrote:  

I like your style, you don't ask all your questions on one thread,

You divide it in two categories that are very related and ask two questions per thread.

Very organized I must say

I suggest cursing at girls who don't want to converse. Very effective.

[Image: hamster2.gif]

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#16

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

1) try to get her to talk about herself, and when you are talking about yourself, add a couple of pretty intimate details, like a "I don't usually talk about this at a sangria bar, but..."

2) Imagine a conversation constructed out of turn-based dialogue, with each block of commentary formulated using three subparts: response, statement, question.

Touch on her points to demonstrate that you are listening. Then, add some comments of your own. Potentially change the subject, or revert to a prior subject from earlier in the conversation. Finally, if she hasn't already interrupted or responded to things you have said, ask a question or state an open ended thought to spur a response.

You can talk for hours like this, if you are smooth about it.
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#17

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

I usually try to ask them something noteworthy they'll remember like, "Have you met our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?"

That gets their panties off in a hurry.
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#18

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-26-2016 06:45 PM)polymath Wrote:  

1) try to get her to talk about herself, and when you are talking about yourself, add a couple of pretty intimate details, like a "I don't usually talk about this at a sangria bar, but..."

Finally, if she hasn't already interrupted or responded to things you have said, ask a question or state an open ended thought to spur a response.

I'll definitely keep these points in mind.

But maybe I'm not commnuicating correctly. I'll explain. For example, when I talk to a girl about lets say travelling, I get her to qualify herself first. Heres how:

Me: I love travelling. It makes me know the world better. I've been to lots of places in europe. Do you like travelling?
Her: Yeah I like travelling too. I've been to france and spain.
Me: Yeah I've been to Spain 4 times. I went to Ibiza, Madrid and Barcelona. I went to the clubs there which are unbelievable. The best clubs I been in europe.


So from here after she says she travels after I say that I travel, I respond about me traveling. Whenever a girl says something about herself I usually continue the topic about me. Do you think this is counterintuitive? Is this bad?
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#19

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

In your travel example, instead of trying to one up her - you should shine about Spain.

"Her: Yeah I like travelling too. I've been to france and spain."

Whoa, me too. ...

A) you totally hit up Ibiza, I knew you were a party girl. -

^ So she's now on the spot and you've started her on the road to talk about partying, drinking and hooking up

B) So I'm in Barca, you know when you wake up after going out all night, all you want is breakfast...So we hit this spot on Las Ramblas, and the menu had tortillas. I'm like yes, Mexican food!

This was not a tortilla!

But it was so good. (Explain how a Spanish tortilla is a potato dish..)

^the play here is to show your personality by expressing yourself in a way that she can totally relate to.

Most interactions start off 90/10, where you're providing all of the content, but you're also
- setting the tone of the interaction
- demonstrating your personality
- creating something where she can participate, where she's dying to jump in

Once the party starts, then you steer the conversation to topics about dating, relationships, sex, her impulsiveness..etc

The key thing to get about a game conversation is that the content is not particularly important, it's about getting her to not just talk, but be excited to talk to you, to interact with you.

Not an exchange of information, but a chance for her to feel lots of different emotions all at once.

Whatever you say about yourself is prelude/camouflage for talking about her and making her feel something.

WIA
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#20

Need Help with Conversing with Girls

Quote: (09-28-2016 10:08 PM)nidall Wrote:  

But maybe I'm not commnuicating correctly. I'll explain. For example, when I talk to a girl about lets say travelling, I get her to qualify herself first. Heres how:

Me: I love travelling. It makes me know the world better. I've been to lots of places in europe. Do you like travelling?
Her: Yeah I like travelling too. I've been to france and spain.
Me: Yeah I've been to Spain 4 times. I went to Ibiza, Madrid and Barcelona. I went to the clubs there which are unbelievable. The best clubs I been in europe.


So from here after she says she travels after I say that I travel, I respond about me traveling. Whenever a girl says something about herself I usually continue the topic about me. Do you think this is counterintuitive? Is this bad?

To me it sounds like you only exchange information. Instead if you focus on exchanging or provoking emotions you will see much better results.

Beware, big ass post below. Read and learn....

Quote:Quote:

BASIC PRINCIPLES OF ADVANCED VERBAL GAME

*Women are EMOTIONAL creatures. They process FEELINGS, and EXPERIENCES, and EMOTIONAL STATES, much more than they process facts and logic.

*Love is a process that PEOPLE DO TO THEMSELVES. It is self-hypnosis, pure and simple, and can be triggered off in anyone if they can be happily lead to re-experience the feelings ALREADY PRESENT in their own mind.

*The purpose of talking to women is to INDUCE THEM INTO CERTAIN EMOTIONAL STATES.... AND NOTHING ELSE. You are not talking to them to give them an understanding of anything... or facts. You are talking to them to get an emotional response (to want to fuck you).

*To that end, you shouldn't bother about “getting to know” a woman in the traditional sense,or trying to get her to be loyal to you in a relationship by giving her facts about how good you are. (you should never say anything to try to impress her) Women do not work that way. You get to know a woman by learning her mental and emotional processes, and mental “lean words”for certain emotional states, so you can use your language and behaviour to trigger them so that she feels enough pleasure to want to fuck you.

*Women can be PACED and LED to think and feel certain things by saying things to them. This in turn forces them to think about what you are saying and process it and understand it in their minds (Obvious really) … but being emotional creatures, women comprehend the emotional component more than the factual component.... which is something that can be exploited (for the good of her arousal, of course), and aware of so that you don't say anything stupid.

*The process of doing this involves making a list of emotional states and experiences you want the woman to have, and then creating conversational structure around it to present it appropriately. Correct presentation will get women to think that the thoughts and feelings she is lead to have are hers and not induced by you... and therefore it is not mentally resisted!

*When you master the concepts, you can have no fear in slamming as many constructs into your conversation as you like. You will find that each gambit can be used in conjunction with another and “stacked and chained” on top of each other to make really powerful conversational patterns. Wherever possible, learn to practice moving them seamlessly through your conversation where it will sound fitting.

*Pay attention to what gets you a strong response, and what doesn't. If something is not working, try something else (there are a lot of gambits, so you shouldn't run out)

*NLP is casually referred to as conversational hypnosis. In this context, we are NOT turning women into zombie slaves. Instead, we are simply attempting to reawaken states and feelings that THEY ALREADY HAVE. If they simply don't have them, or wish to resist them, or don't want to be led to having new ones... they can stop at any time. You still need outcome independence as advanced verbal game is not a panacea. It is simply a powerful tool.
The thing is, since women like talking, or like men pay attention to them... they're usually more than willing to go down the rabbit hole and be led to re-experiencing things in their mind, or be open to having new experiences

*You should not have any moral objections trying this out on women. Aside from the "numbers-game" and "outcome independant" arguments of just saying new things to women, in many cases, women WANT to feel powerful emotional states with men, and if you can bring this to the table you will set yourself apart from other men. The CORRECT attitude to have is that we are doing this as a gift to them. Refer to the manwhore manifesto. I assume that it is my job and responsibility to give of myself to help women get off. In essence, where we can help women get off, we can do so and enjoy it ourselves. Other than that, we use these tools to scan for women who want to have a good time, and these tools can help us identify women who are DTF really quickly. Girls who are DTF respond powerfully, girls who aren't and have baggage will start displaying what that baggage is and then you have a chance to remove attempt removing it for her, if you think she's worth the trouble.

*Advanced verbal game tends to work well on intelligent women with an active and vivid imagination. Bimbos may have a hard time understanding you, but they may respond better to visual and kino sensations.

*You should never feel as if you are even going to be “caught out” by a woman when using NLP or any of the gambits. All that will happen is that your game will go from INDIRECT to DIRECT... the difference being that direct game gives the woman an opportunity to resist (and trigger ASD for example). In this case, the woman may show resistance... in which case you either have to suck it up, show outcome independence, and say “I don't give a fuck. NEXT!” to yourself.... or plow on using blatantly direct commands, and sexual imagery.
Often the woman may even realise what you are doing and continue playing along because she's enjoying it.... but if it doesn't happen and she starts resisting... well, you've uncovered a woman who is no fun.NEXT!

*Practice makes perfect. Getting a tape of yourself repeating patterns and playing them over and over again and then rehearsing them if going to give you the ability to use them powerfully in the field. It is no different to doing karate “katas” as practice for when you are really in a fight and don't have time to think. Same here. You don't want to be at a party or event when meeting women and have a complete mental blank.

*Tonality is very important. When you speak, you don't want to sound like Pee-wee Herman. You want to have a slow, deep, masculine voice. We all know what a sexy female voice sounds like. Attempt to reproduce the male equivalent without going too over the top. A loud voice can be good too if the situation warrants it and you want to be really commanding, but otherwise the more relaxed and quiet you are, the more the woman is going to want to try to hear what you are saying, which is what we want her to do.

*You shouldn't worry about sounding weird or funny to these women initially when you start doing this. They don't know how you normally talk if you've met them for the first time. So you can just run with it without fear.

*Never argue with women.(If you get to this point, the pick-up is OVER).Instead, take what resistance they offer and agree and run with it.

*In general, you start by having the woman feel comfortable and connected to you FIRST, before you start to delve into sexual topics. Starting out in sexual topics could be deemed too personal early on.You move slowly up from rapport, to connection, to sexual arousal.

*In theory, you COULD use these tools to make women feel scared or terrible... but we would consider this ABUSE and that is VERY BAD. Not only for the woman, but what it does to your own mind as well. (apparently your own mind, when it feels OK about abusing other people, also beings thinking that it's OK to abuse the self. Not good)
We're here to give love and get laid, so trying to push the woman into negative states is really counter-productive... but yes, it can be abused SO DON'T

*If you don't use these tools, don't be surprised when that you've likely already met women who subconciously and without any training.... have been using these same tools ON YOU to make you her bitch in the relationship. We are not learning to hypnotise women, per se, as we are learning howto speak THEIR LANGUAGE. You should ONLY use it as a tool to get the woman to respond. Yes, some parts of it may sound too Disney... but then you should NEVER embed commands to trap women in Disney together-forever relationships, or lead women on in that direction, unless you are prepared for the consequences.

*When you do talk, you want to make sure that the conversation heads in the direction of talking about and describing Powerful feelings and positive emotional states. NEVER get sucked into fluff talk, or let the woman descend into negative discussions, or worse... introduce negatively charged conversations yourself!

*You are that much more powerful when you are already in the state of mind YOURSELF that you want to lead the woman into. If you feel sexy about yourself, you will lead her to feeling sexy about herself more easily. If you are relaxed, she will become relaxed.
If on the other hand, you are bouncing off the walls with excitement, or teasing her she will be sucked along with that too. Unfortunately being overly excited and teasing is not a good place to take a chick mentally if you want to fuck her.

*Sometimes you will just run into women who, for whatever reason, are sexually unimaginative and unavailable – or just “dead inside”. You will spot them early on as you run patterns and just can't seem to produce any strong responses despite trying damn near everything. When you have exhausted all your options, there is no harm in mentally NEXTing her and moving onto the next woman. We are looking for women who are DTF after all.

*Another criticism of using patterns is that you should try to resist using them just to see if the woman's happiness and horniness is self-generating. If you have to generate states of happiness and attraction around you in order to make the woman feel really good, you're going to have to keep this up in future. In a sense it can be a form of supplicating. Another good reason to see patterning as a tool of screening and compartmentalizing women by awakening their inner structures that are already there, and NOT a method of fundamentally changing the woman.

*Another criticism of this language is that it is much better to BE the kind of man you want her to think about, rather than just “cheat”by getting her to think about it. Obviously, REAL attraction is better than attraction you get her to imagine. You still need strong inner game.

*For these reasons, the leading principle of talking less to women and only asking questions to prompt them more about their own happy states to avoid disqualification still holds. If you can ask enough leading questions to a woman to get her to go through her mental processes (“map of the world” as RJ called it) of getting horny, she will seduce herself without you having to say much at all. This is clearly optimal if you get a talkative woman. Talkative women, if not guided mentally, can go off course. If she is not talkative, or has no matching experience for which to go into state, you can try to use the material below to get your woman to respond.

*all other rules about not saying much on the phone and not having long conversations that don't lead to a meet up still apply. Use these tools to arouse her curiousity and then bait her to act on it by getting her to call you,come over to your place, and fuck.

STATES YOU WANT THE WOMAN TO FEEL


*You need to make a list of states you want the woman to feel around you.This is the first step. Here is a list of potential mental states you could start with:-

-A sense of an “incredible connection” ™ with you
-Fascination for a you
-Fall in love with you
-Getting horny for you
-Have her think of sex around you
-Discovering that you fulfill her checklist of qualities in a man she would fuck.
-Getting her to ignore all her religious beliefs to fuck you
-Feeling drawn to you
-Getting her to take action she normally wouldn't just to be with you
-Thinking about a you all the time when she's doing other things
-Have her thinking about wanting to give you a blowjob
-The feeling that she is safe with you
-The feeling of comfort with you
-Knowing that she can trust you
-Feeling that she can talk to you about anything, including her personal sex life.
-Wanting to chase you and call you up on your phone to see you
-Getting her to overlook the fact you you aren't good looking/not her type
-Feeling that she knows you already, and has known you for a long time
-Feel confident of recommending her girlfriends to want to fuck you.
-Feeling great about giving money to you because you are worth it.
-…. and any other twisted control-freak fantasy you want!

Yes it is possible to get her into some needy Disney states if you aren't careful. So you definitely don't want to put her into a state where she wants and expects a long-term monogamous relationship with you,or lead her on in that together-forever direction. Not unless you want bad karma, and a stalker.... but that said THE POWER IS THERE, so WATCH OUT. Like Spiderman says “with great power comes great responsibility”... or like the word of warning from the Little Prince "You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed"

If you fundamentally change the woman, then you need to be preparedbecause she may depend on you for her continuing happiness...creatinga stalker out of her. We only want to make her horny and have funwith her, and always give her the option of leaving at any time toget on with her life.


THE BASIC CONSTRUCT

The basic construct of pattern language usually starts of with what is called a “weasel phrase” and followed up with a slight pause in conversation, followed by an “embedded command”.

These phrases, in order to be interpreted, force the listener to go inside their own mind and recreate thoughts,feelings, and experiences, in order to be processed and understood. The end result is that she goes through these experiences in a way that is specific to her.
Hence these feelings are not resisted, because you aren't telling the woman to feel anything specific. The statements are gloriously vague, which she then fills in the way that suits her experience.

Example:“I'm not sure what it's like for you as you... FIND YOURSELF attracted to a man you are speaking with.”

This is an example of pattern language and is very indirect.
The direct equivalent would be “Become attracted to the man you are speaking with”, but this is too direct and would likely be resisted... unless she already liked you a lot, in which case it would be interpreted as being cocky and she'd probably laugh.

This is the basic difference between DIRECT and INDIRECT GAME.

“when was the last time you knew you were about to.... have a huge orgasm?” is relatively indirect,but
“Have a huge orgasm!” is a direct command (and may well be resisted)

Note that the pause allows the embedded command to go in subliminally. She will hear the command, but given the context of conversation, she will not resist it.

Here are a list of weasel phrases:-

After you come to....
After you've...
And the more you (X)...the more you (Y)
And as you...
Are you curious about...
Are you aware that...
Are you still interested in...
As you hear these words they...
As you... ...then...
As you consider this...
Be aware of what you can sense...
Before you think...
Can you imagine...
Can I ask you to...
Can you visualise...
Can you...
Can you remember...
Could you...
Do you think that...
Do you remember when...
Do you...
Do you ever...
Don't think of...
Has it ever occurred to you that...
Have you noticed that...
Have you ever wondered...
Have you...
Have you ever...
How would you feel if...
How do you know that...
How do you feel when...
I don't want you to be...
I want you to learn...
I know you are curious...
I saw someone do this in minutes once...
I wonder if...
I don't know how soon...
I wonder could you...
I would like to suggest that...
I want you to bear in mind...
I want you to become aware...
I can remember...
I'd like you to pretend that...
I'm wondering...
I'm curious to know...
If you could...
In my experience...
Is it that you are...
Is it possible...
Is it that you have...
Is it that there is...
It is useful that...
It's just like...
It's impossible...
It's good to know that...
It's useful that...
It's good that...
It's either (A) or (B); which is it...
It's not important that...
It's as if...
People can loosen up easily...
Perhaps you are...
Perhaps you can...
Perhaps you could...
Perhaps you're wondering...
This can be learned easily...
What do you think would happen if...
What would happen if...
What's it like to...
When you notice... ...then...
Will you...
Would you...
You come to...
You are learning to anticipate...
You can become aware that...
You know about these things...
You will feel...

PATTERN GAMBITS

*“If I were to ask you … ”

This one is a very powerful weasel phrase. It effectively allows you to sidestep resistance to asking ANY question of the woman you like.
By asking “If I were to ask you when the last time you felt really horny was... what would you say?”

You just suggest a theoretical question, and you get to hear her “theoretical” answer. In her mind you haven't actually asked the question.... BUT to all intents and purposes however, you DID ask the question and she gave an ANSWER!

Thisis also helpful retroactively when talking with women, and you've asked a question that is too sensitive. You can backtrack and rephrase the question as “if I were to ask you” and dodge her resistance.

It also works great to prompt a woman to have thoughts run through her head:
“If you were able to.... THINK LOTS OF naughty thoughts right now....could you?


* “Have you ever”

Really straightforward leading question which gets the woman to recall a time in her mind vividly when she felt a certain way, or did something. It sounds like a question, but it acts as a command.

Example:“Have you ever met a man who wasn't your physical type, but who really took your breath away?”


*“I have an intuition about you”

This is a really good phrase to use as a set-up for introducing pattern language. It is also a cold reading technique where you presuppose that you know something about the woman when really you don't.

“I have an intuition about you,... that you are the sort of person who can often... GET TURNED ON really easily.”


*The more the more

The more you X, the more you will Y
Example:“The more you laugh, the more you'll find yourself really enjoying hanging out with me”

You can insert anything illogical into Y, and still the sentence will sound perfectly valid. It creates a powerful suggestive assertion.
The above example works really well once you get the girl laughing.

Example:“The more you hear my voice on the phone, you more you'll want put it down and just come over”


*Trance-breaking embedded commands

These phrases at the start of an embedded command suggest that the person is awaking from a trance to discover that they are in a certain position/mental state that they were completely unaware of:-

-find yourself becoming
-suddenly discover yourself
-become aware that
-start to realise that
-begin imagining that

Example:“I don't know what happens when you.... START TO REALISE that you're falling in love”


* "How surprised would you be..."

Example:“How surprised would you be to discover that ...YOU WILL EXPERIENCE love again really soon?”

Commonly used RJ weasel phrase. It presupposes that something is going to happen. The only open variable is going to how surprised she is going to be by it!


*Describing a processes

In order to make a woman go into a deep state, you can suggest to her the mental processes she may go through to achieve a certain state. If you know something about the process the woman goes through (through talking to her of course and finding out her answers), you can tailor the description. If not, it doesn't matter, you can do some cold-reading “shotgunning” to make intelligent guesses:-


example:“I don't know what happens to you when you …. feel an uncontrollable attraction for a man. Perhaps you ..... start thinking him about him all the time. Maybe you..... FEEL YOUR HEART BEAT fast and faster, and your breathing becomes shallower, and then you notice how ......you have butterflies in your stomach and..... begin imagining being with him in a really intimate way....”

Use sensory rich descriptions about body sensations to get the woman feeling physical things in her body (e.g. "warm rich feeling pulsating through your body", "take your breath away")
Also describe things so that she can visualize them.
Also describe emotional feelings.
A combination of all these should be powerful.


*Quoting other people. Using other people's stories. Using dreams.

You can introduce embedded commands by putting it in context of what another person said. Since you didn't say it (supposedly), it cannot be resisted.

Example: “I was talking to my friend about what it's like when ...YOU FEEL REALLY AROUSED BY STIMULATING CONVERSATION. She said that she really likes to … GET REALLY INTIMATE with the guy she's talking to”

Dreams are a good excuse, because by nature they are purely abstract. So you can really go off the deep end toying with the unlimited possibilities.

“I had this dream where I this woman started to … DISCOVER HOW SEXY I AM. Then the weirdest thing happened. I don't know if you have ever wanted to ...CONSIDER YOURSELF MASTURBATING with a banana..... but that's what she did in my dream! What does it all mean!”


*Negation

If I were to say “Don't think of a pink elephant”, what happens in your mind?
You can't know what not to think about unless you are told what not to think about first... by which time it's too late! You've already thought of the pink elephant!
That's how negation works, as the mind doesn't understand negatives.
This can be abused for our purposes to slip in thoughts, ideas, and suggestions in such a way that they can't be resisted. They are “self-censoring!”

Example: “I really don't think it's normal for people to … FEEL INCREDIBLY HORNY all the time. That would be very distracting!”
“You shouldn't … FALL IN LOVE WITH ME”
“I don't think you should … HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH ME... as you said that you don't... WANT A CASUAL RELATIONSHIP”


*Linking(now with me)

The purpose of linking states to you is so that the feelings you awaken are then mentally attached to you and don't just vanish when you are no longer around. One way to do this is to put enough pauses between embedded commands and the phrase “...now.... with me, I am like this” or just “....Me? I'm different in that...”

Example: “It's amazing when you can just … MAKE THAT INTIMATE CONNECTION....NOW.... WITH ME.... that doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's great!”

It confuses the mind. With enough pauses in the right spaces, she will either think that you are saying “Make that intimate connection now with me”, which is what we want her to think.... but with the added pause followed by “that doesn't happen very often”, her brain will get confused and reinterpret that this was not really what you meant. However,she would have heard the first interpretation subconciously, getting the desired result.

After the sentence is completed with the second part, she will have consciously understood that you said “It's amazing when you can just make the intimate connection. Now with me, that doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's great”... which as you can see...is much more benign and isn't going to be resisted.


*Sexual Innuendoes

RossJeffries has a bad habit of using the word “come”, “penetrate”,and “create an opening” in some really inappropriate ways. Also,when you think about sex, you can have certain....... hmmm....THOUGHTS!
(ofcourse we do not say “sexual thoughts”, but the dramatic pausinglets the woman come up with her own thoughts which are then notresisted.)

Example:“I'm not sure what happens when you... FEEL A SENSE of attraction for a guy. Perhaps you...have certain..... THOUGHTS....and then CREATE AN OPENING for all these feelings you are having,and then you...BEGIN TO NOTICE how they penetrate your thoughts deeply... until YOU COME....over and over and over...... to the conclusion that you have to...ASK FOR THIS GUY'S PHONE NUMBER to see him, even if that's something you only do when... YOU'RE WITH someone truly special”

Getting her to think about cumming, by dropping a pause between “you come”and “..... over and over” and then finally “to the conclusion”... she's going to think about having an orgasm. However, once you completed the sentence, it turns out to becompletely benign, and therefore is not resisted


*Anchoring

This is done by describing a situation/emotion and getting the woman into state. Then you pause and embed “...FEEL THAT... “ in your sentence as you touch her somewhere.

Example:“It would be really great to... THINK ABOUT HOLDING A SEXY MAN IN YOUR ARMS. Could you …. FEEL THAT (touch).... would really turn you on?”

Her brain gets confused. What are you referring to? The feelings you described?.. or when you touched her?
In any case the subconscious has a computer crash and starts associating those feelings with the touch you made on her.
Later on you can touch her in the same spot and you will cause her to have those feelings again simply through touch.


* JUST STOP

Sometimes a woman will just yammer off about negatively charged bullshit fluff talk. In this situation, you have to hijack her thought process before she hypnotises herself with bullshit and hate for her past relationships and experiences, and comes to hate being with you because she started to feel bad in your presence (her own fault).The command “JUST STOP” or “STOP” will get her brain to stop thought processing if you inflect it strongly enough. With a long enough pause you can get a window to start injecting more positive language.

Example:“I don't know what happens when you … JUST STOP... and ...FIND YOURSELF thinking about the happy times you had with this person”


*time distortion

You can get her to fast forward to the future where she's still happy to be with you and then bring her “back from the future” to dodge her buyer's remorse of having slept with you. This is powerful because it is as if you have already hooked up so it is a DONE DEAL ALREADY...for example...

Example: “I don't know if you could….THINK into the future... maybe even a few years from now... STILL FEELING THAT SENSE OF HAPPINESS FOR HAVING KNOWN THIS GUY, and looking back and still fondly remembering the day you met him”

*age regression

Get her to think of when she was a little girl and her mind was more open, less defensive, less cynical, and less Disney orientated about accepting new things, and you know.... trying new guys out.

“When you were a little girl... do you often think about daydream about what it must be like to have sex for the first time?...maybe there was a boy at your school who made you.... FEEL A SENSE OF AROUSAL when you passed him in the hallway?”


*Mental image manipulation (submodalities)

People tend to make images in their mind of certain feelings and emotions.You can get them to create these mental pictures, and then move them about at will, and then do fun things with them like a mental version of “photoshop”


Usefulphrases:
-Picture a time when
-make movies in your mind
-Imagine a scene where

TheRJ favourite pattern is to say something like:

“Picture something that really motivates you, and as you feel the size of the picture grow, you feel the intensity and the colours of that image grow and expand...... now if you were to shrink the image, there's now a lot of empty space that needs to be filled! Would it surprise you if.... POP.... an image of the two of us getting to together and having a good time suddenly popped up in it's place?”

Essentially the above links a sense of motivation to meeting up in her mind by mixing up the imagery.

*Pacing and leading the ongoing situation as if it were real (using "as if")

Example:“As you think these things, and feel these emotions, and as you find yourself thinking about being with this man all the time.... it can really feel wonderful, can't it?”

In essence, by using theword “as” in the above context, we are basically telling her that whatever we are describing ACTUALLY IS happening, and it IS the ongoing reality. Again, she will have trouble mentally resisting this.
If you pace the ongoing situation by describing it, you can then lead it somewhere.

“as” is much better than “when” when describing processes to women.“As” implies it is happening NOW, because “when” describes that it only happens when it happens.

Example: "I know you may not be approached by guys on the street very often walking the other direction, but if you could just STOP ... you may have a chance to meet a really great guy"

*Self-pointing(this guy)


Example: “Can you remember a guy that really turned you on? Maybe you began to ... FEEL YOUR HEART RATE INCREASE talking to this guy, as you really listen to this voice, and maybe you would even... HAVE A SENSATION of wanting to ignore everyone else in the room and just...FOCUS IN ON THE MAN YOU ARE TALKING WITH....as he's talking to you. Perhaps you might begin to also… RECOGNISE YOUR fascination with him?”

“You know, I have an intuition about you...... You make images in your mind, very very vividly.... to the point where you can be talking to someone... and looking into their eyes... and they can think that you're listening.... but you are a million miles away in your favourite holiday spot”

This one will cause her mind to crash. Essentially if you are describing the process of listening to a guy who is talking to her ... WHILE YOU ARE DOING THIS EXACT SAME THING IN REAL TIME...she will link the process to you while you are doing it! You can then lead it wherever you wish.

Note the use of “this guy” and “this voice”. Her brain will be confused if you are talking about your presupposed theoretical man and voice,or if you are talking about YOU and YOUR voice!
Add some suggesting body language while you point to yourself and her mind will start associating this further.


* Fractionation

Fractionation involves using a pattern, and then letting a big pause happen, and then abruptly changing the subject to deliberately break her trance.
Then this process is repeated again in an in-out fashion to send her into a deeper trance.
It is quite useful to do when you find that your pattern language could be getting a little too weird an unconversational, and you wish to take a break so you can try again later on with a new pattern.

Example: “It great when you feel the warm..... rich... warmth of his voice... just slowly... wrap itself around you.........
…...
…..oh LOOK AT THE TIME!”


TROUBLESHOOTING


* Pulling her out of the mental tar-pit with “differences”

You can often get the women to remember a time when they felt really turned on by a guy,and then they start inadvertently having thoughts about how they felt used and abused by a guy who made them feel that way, and eventually ended up fucking them over. The woman can then get really upset and start on a negative tirade.... or perhaps the sensations are too much for her and she starts resisting her own thoughts. Completely the opposite of what you wanted them to feel!

In this case, the woman is being held back by her own past experiences. You have to bring her back on track, and get her to think about what you want them to think about without their own negative images popping back.

“What's the difference between what you perceive you're ready for, what you perceive you're expecting, and what would be truly magical,fulfilling, and uplifting for you?”

Getting them to make a comparison between their hangups, and the state you want them to get to. Causes their brain to crash.
Using "differences" you can get them to dissassociate things which she thinks are one and the same.

Example: "What's the difference between stimulating conversation and great sex?"


*Watch your own language

After practicing a lot with this material, you may find yourself carefully dissecting everything you say to ensure that you don't have any embedded commands in there that you don't wish to transmit accidently to the woman you are talking to.

For example, say a girl tells you something sad like “My dog died!”
You DON'T want to say something like “You must feel terrible!”,because the embedded command to “feel terrible” is in there. Saying that would make her feel even WORSE, and it would be all your fault DESPITE your noble intentions.
Instead,you may find yourself adjusting the things you say so that you'd say things with only positive undertones.

Maybe you'd say “You must remember a time when you were really enjoying being with your dog, seeing the happy look on his face, racing out to see you when you came home, and feeling the warmth of his fur, and knowing that your dog really really loved you. Even though he's gone,I think you'd be amazed to realise that the true warmth of your connection with him will never leave you”

So is it Disney bullshit, or is it just priming her head with things sothat she feels good and enjoys talking with us? You decide.

*Weaseling out of trouble

Say you make a mistake and you get a strong negative response. You can do some mental gymnastics on her so that you always land on your feet like a cat.
Take the following example

You:“I have an intuition about you, that you are attracted to men who chase you”
Her:“Actually I'm NOT”
You:“Yes,that's right. And that's why I would NEVER do that with you”

Always gets a laugh.

There are perhaps a few more tips and tricks, so I may update this further at a later date.
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