Hello all i am 19 years old and i want to overcome my shyness and improve my game.I think its high time i overcome this.In brief I get very excited when trying to approaching a girl and i withdraw myself from doing it even though i really want to approach so.Something holds me back every single time.I have been in ukraine(lviv) for 2 days and couldnt approach any single lady...I have been trying out going to clubs but couldnt enter for two days(reservation needed and age restriction) I am seeking help from guys who had similiar experiences to overcome this situation.Any help is appreciated
How can i overcome this situation
Quote: (09-23-2016 03:51 AM)königstiger Wrote:
Hello all i am 19 years old and i want to overcome my shyness and improve my game.I think its high time i overcome this.In brief I get very excited when trying to approaching a girl and i withdraw myself from doing it even though i really want to approach so.Something holds me back every single time.I have been in ukraine(lviv) for 2 days and couldnt approach any single lady...I have been trying out going to clubs but couldnt enter for two days(reservation needed and age restriction) I am seeking help from guys who had similiar experiences to overcome this situation.Any help is appreciated
Buy the book BANG by Roosh V:
https://www.amazon.com/Bang-Roosh-V/dp/1438214235
Edit - dupe post.
But now I'm here, also read Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich.
https://amzn.com/1514672111
But now I'm here, also read Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich.
https://amzn.com/1514672111
Body building routine.
Got one?
Got one?
The public will judge a man by what he lifts, but those close to him will judge him by what he carries.
Because you set the bar too high for your current social ability.
Can you talk to a stranger and have a conversation?
If not, that's your first step.
WIA
Can you talk to a stranger and have a conversation?
If not, that's your first step.
WIA
I cant do that if the person is female..I think thats why i fail
Here is my advice on how I overcame my shyness and how you can too.
1- Approach people both female and male, so you can desensitize yourself to social situations.
2- Remember, what is the worst that can happen to you. Always have that mindset.
3- Look at the human beings round and consider them. What do their moves say? How they're behaving closer to you? If you had to compliment one specific individual, what might you say to them?
4- There is some inner resistance in you which ones prevents you from appearing casually inside the presence of strangers. You need to unearth your self-talk, your recurring mind when you strive to speak to a stranger. Try talking to a guy first and then try women, like WIA said "Because you set the bar too high for your current social ability"
5- Try to visualize your interactions before you approach.
6- The first step of the conversation is to make eye contact. Stop avoiding other person's eyesight.
Overcoming your shyness won't happen overnight, but your efforts will bear fruits.
1- Approach people both female and male, so you can desensitize yourself to social situations.
2- Remember, what is the worst that can happen to you. Always have that mindset.
3- Look at the human beings round and consider them. What do their moves say? How they're behaving closer to you? If you had to compliment one specific individual, what might you say to them?
4- There is some inner resistance in you which ones prevents you from appearing casually inside the presence of strangers. You need to unearth your self-talk, your recurring mind when you strive to speak to a stranger. Try talking to a guy first and then try women, like WIA said "Because you set the bar too high for your current social ability"
5- Try to visualize your interactions before you approach.
6- The first step of the conversation is to make eye contact. Stop avoiding other person's eyesight.
Overcoming your shyness won't happen overnight, but your efforts will bear fruits.
I got the idea thanks i guess i have to get out of my comfort zone for my overall sake.Should i start from night(club) game or day game which one is easier for me?I think some alcohol can give me much needed boost.
There are two facets to overcoming shyness in my opinion.
First you have to become comfortable with yourself. My shyness when younger sprung from a deep seated sense of inadequacy. The belief that there was nothing impressive about me and that the best I could do was to trick people into thinking I was more funny or intelligent or macho than I actually was. True enough, for a long time I lacked human credentials that made me a worthy person. I overcame this in a pretty predictable way. I made life goals, gained 20 kg of muscle, entered into a masculine field of employment and learned how BE a man rather than trying to PRETEND to be a man.
The second part is easier for some and harder for others. You have to convince yourself not to give a shit about what random nobodies think about you. This might seem counter-intuitive after the first part, but it still holds true. If you strike up a conversation with a random person on the bus and they snub you then you have to have the self confidence to say "fuck it, they're obviously just an asshole, so who cares what they think". You have to learn to let rejection bounce off of you like bullets off of a tank.
The funny thing is that once you master those two things your self confidence and general life swagger will be strong enough that social rejection of any kind will largely become a thing of the past.
Easy to say, but a big mountain to climb. The trouble is that most people think that socialising is a matter of what you say and what you do.
In my experience successful socialising is more a matter of who you are.
Hope that makes sense.
First you have to become comfortable with yourself. My shyness when younger sprung from a deep seated sense of inadequacy. The belief that there was nothing impressive about me and that the best I could do was to trick people into thinking I was more funny or intelligent or macho than I actually was. True enough, for a long time I lacked human credentials that made me a worthy person. I overcame this in a pretty predictable way. I made life goals, gained 20 kg of muscle, entered into a masculine field of employment and learned how BE a man rather than trying to PRETEND to be a man.
The second part is easier for some and harder for others. You have to convince yourself not to give a shit about what random nobodies think about you. This might seem counter-intuitive after the first part, but it still holds true. If you strike up a conversation with a random person on the bus and they snub you then you have to have the self confidence to say "fuck it, they're obviously just an asshole, so who cares what they think". You have to learn to let rejection bounce off of you like bullets off of a tank.
The funny thing is that once you master those two things your self confidence and general life swagger will be strong enough that social rejection of any kind will largely become a thing of the past.
Easy to say, but a big mountain to climb. The trouble is that most people think that socialising is a matter of what you say and what you do.
In my experience successful socialising is more a matter of who you are.
Hope that makes sense.
The public will judge a man by what he lifts, but those close to him will judge him by what he carries.
You are right i think i have been told that i am good looking but i never felt confident because i am a skinny guy and i look very young for my age.I think i need same amount of muscle as you have pointed out. I have tried going to gym two times in span of 3 years but never had a reasonable success(unable to gain weight)
As for the second part the funny thing is that i am normally seen as cool guy who dont give fuck from outside but its not the case really. At least about girls with which i struggle with..
But i dont think its related much about looks as i have seen many ugly men with girls in their arms here..
As for the second part the funny thing is that i am normally seen as cool guy who dont give fuck from outside but its not the case really. At least about girls with which i struggle with..
But i dont think its related much about looks as i have seen many ugly men with girls in their arms here..
For a long time I was unable to gain muscle mass. I could get ripped but I was still skinny.
I like to think that when I got a masculine job that required me to grow physically that my body adapted and decided to step up, but it may simply have been a matter of age.
Less sugar. More protein. More fat. One day on. One day off. Think big. There are tons of guys here that can give way more specific advice but this was enough for me.
If you can't work in a masculine field then you might want to join a very hands on fighting school. A little more testosterone in your blood couldn't hurt.
I like to think that when I got a masculine job that required me to grow physically that my body adapted and decided to step up, but it may simply have been a matter of age.
Less sugar. More protein. More fat. One day on. One day off. Think big. There are tons of guys here that can give way more specific advice but this was enough for me.
If you can't work in a masculine field then you might want to join a very hands on fighting school. A little more testosterone in your blood couldn't hurt.
The public will judge a man by what he lifts, but those close to him will judge him by what he carries.
When i will return to my hometown i will start doing that but i will not be in town for at least 5 months as i am about to start doing erasmus in poland.For now i have to focus on inner mentality than any other thing i think.I have to aproach and talk with girls more as people have said
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