[Vet-Boy]

Alright guys I've been making gradual progress here in india so far since i started college about 3 weeks ago and was just wondering what you guys would suggest the best form of number closing would be for these girls (westernized ones included) since they rarely get hit on or even opened here.

98% of the guys find enough satisfaction in staring at them so they never approach. I'm going to be different.

Direct? A way where i make my intentions almost crystal clear when asking for the number? Something like:

"Hey i enjoy talking to you, here put your number in my phone so we can start this up again later blah blah blah."

towards the end of a conversation?

or

Indirerect? Where i just use the

"let me get your number so we can study/other relative excuse blah blah blah"

The only reason im asking is because i was thinking that the direct approach may overwhelm them. Which could end up in only a good or bad way.

Good being i stand out as confident and create an immediate attraction or bad as in just scare/intimidate them. The indirect is pretty much garunteed but i am not sure if a close is worth it without making my intentions clear, since that can just result in trouble down the road anf over all wasted time.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, especially from other RVFers who've dealt with other semi conservative cultures like india.

If anyones not aware and interested in my situation you can go read up on it in my first thread "adapting and thriving in a college environment halfway around the world" and maybe throw some advice on there aswell.

[brokinetic]

I am of indian origin so I can help you out I think.

There is nothing such as indirect or direct number close. A girl giving a number to you means that you have built enough comfort with her and she will give you a chance to see her.

Even if you give a reason such as studying together, she will not remember it when you text her. Even worst, she will put you in the study buddy or friend zone list, if that is what you want.

And going direct for a NB close is perfectly fine. If your intial game has established enough rapport and a bit of sexual intent, then she will understand what you want from her.

Girls from every culture are the same. I have approached conservative Korean and Chinese girls in the past and they reacted the same way as any girl. If you got game, then you got game.

[Vet-Boy]

brokinetic Wrote:

I am of indian origin so I can help you out I think.

There is nothing such as indirect or direct number close. A girl giving a number to you means that you have built enough comfort with her and she will give you a chance to see her.

Even if you give a reason such as studying together, she will not remember it when you text her. Even worst, she will put you in the study buddy or friend zone list, if that is what you want.

And going direct for a NB close is perfectly fine. If your intial game has established enough rapport and a bit of sexual intent, then she will understand what you want from her.

Girls from every culture are the same. I have approached conservative Korean and Chinese girls in the past and they reacted the same way as any girl. If you got game, then you got game.

I'll try a mix of both then and report back with my results later this week or the next.

Any advice on the type of game i should run? I was planning on just being a funny ass hole like i was back home, since it got pretty great reception from girls there.

It may not sound very right when translated into punjabi but ill just keep it in english if thats the case. The girls here seem to just love the sound of fluent english.

[brokinetic]

Direct or indirect game depends on your personality.But the girls there are prone to street harassment and there are strict law on Eve teasing there. So do not be too direct or sexual.

Be more novel rather then doing an asshole game. Talk about yourself and your adventures. Being an Indian from Western world gives you high SMV, so use it to you advantage.

[WestIndianArchie]

What is the social climate of your school?

Because in America, only getting the number is a sure way to be forgotten. Girls give out there numbers like nothing, and don't really respond when you call/ text.

Are phone numbers sacred in India?

WIA

[Wahawahwah]

Quote:

the best form of number closing would be for these girls (westernized ones included) since they rarely get hit on or even opened here.

Unless you're living in some village far away from civilization, girls get hit on and opened plenty. Maybe you just don't see it because it rarely happens out in the open or if it does, is done subtly.

Quote:

98% of the guys find enough satisfaction in staring at them so they never approach.

There are a lot of thirsty simps who stare and never approach, hoping that the girls stare back at them and everything somehow transforms into magical love like the movies (isn't it called "giving them a line"? or something?). But its nowhere near 98%, atleast not in the big cities (closer to 50%).

I'm assuming you're in a big city given that you're an immigrant to the country (and if you're living in some rural backwater, transfer immediately. Trying to pick up chicks in some rural shitholes might get you beaten, lynched or killed, but this doesn't happen in the cities).

Quote:

I'm going to be different.

That's what they all say. Everyone believes they're different, even the simps who open up to girls, shower them with gifts and are sensitive and emotional, "unlike 98% of men who are just jerks to girls". Self-thought, in any form, is a lack of immersion.

Quote:

Direct? A way where i make my intentions almost crystal clear when asking for the number? Something like:

"Hey i enjoy talking to you, here put your number in my phone so we can start this up again later blah blah blah."

towards the end of a conversation?

or

Indirerect? Where i just use the

"let me get your number so we can study/other relative excuse blah blah blah"

Both of them work. The girl knows why you want her number, no matter how conservative the culture, unless she's really young or naive. I prefer the direct here, but without the overt commanding tone "Put your number in it" --- the problem with overt masculinity is that women often turn around and tool you with it -- in India, men will too. The problem with indirect is that she may auto-friendzone you (although it is much easier to get out of the friendzone in India if you have enough social awareness and aren't a total simp, since the culture actually promotes the idea of becoming friends before lovers -- probably as a coping mechanism for people because of the large proportion of arranged marriages where you're supposed to fall in love with a stranger after marriage).

Quote:

The only reason im asking is because i was thinking that the direct approach may overwhelm them. Which could end up in only a good or bad way.

Good being i stand out as confident and create an immediate attraction or bad as in just scare/intimidate them. The indirect is pretty much garunteed but i am not sure if a close is worth it without making my intentions clear, since that can just result in trouble down the road anf over all wasted time.

Nah you're just keyboard jockeying and hypothesizing now -- maybe its because you're really young or havent approached much -- either way, I'd recommend you make a bunch of direct/indirect approaches OUTSIDE of school -- coffee shops, libraries, malls to get a feel for the culture and responses both approaches elicit.

Quote:

Girls give out there numbers like nothing, and don't really respond when you call/ text. Are phone numbers sacred in India?

They're not sacred and get handed out plenty, but (and my information is dated from quite a while ago) girls tend to respond to most texts, unless you gave off serious creeper vibes - in which case you probably wouldn't have gotten a number in the first place.

It is possible to convert maybes into yes's over text, again due to the endemic belief that in real relationships people need to be friends, then lovers.
____

Okay with that being said, a few important points to note -

1. School is like a huge social circle. If you're a player, don't pick up chicks in school -- a) You'll acquire a certain "reputation" which will make it less likely that many of the hotter chicks will want to be seen with you (as the reputation will rub off on them, and virtue-signalling amongst women is much higher in India than it is here for obvious reasons).
b) More importantly, beta orbiters, simps, stalkers or family members of jilted lovers could harm you. Especially if you're in Punjab, you're going to be seen as an easy target given that you're not local (unless you have some political clout in the area).

2 - Beware of gold-diggers - Standard advice everywhere, but especially so in India where the white knight culture is much stronger (for real reasons as well as simping, since there are instances where women do need to be protected) -- you can be incriminated, blackmailed, held hostage upon the word of a woman. This is rare, but worth mentioning. India is a pretty safe and, to an extent rational country, but things can go from 0 to 100 really quick if you're not careful.

3. Look out for covert signalling -- In Punjab/Delhi people tend to be loud and overt than many other parts of the country, especially the men, but all aspects of dating have subtle undertones that you will notice over time and with experience. They are too numerous to list them out (and again, my experiences are probably dated, since I lived in India for two years, but a long time ago). There's social, cultural and individual level nuances, and it is a good idea to keep looking out for them. The more you notice, the easier it becomes. Also, less likely you'll get scammed or used as a tool.

Honestly, before going to India, my "game" so to speak, consisted pretty much of approaching everyone, busting balls, making jokes, escalating physically, banging. There was some subtlety involved, but it wasn't a cornerstone. The two years in India really taught me to add a little silk to the steel.

I'd recommend initially gaming outside the school. The easiest way to understand and pick up on these nuances is to date a young girl (18-21), although if you want to pump and dump, try looking at the older age brackets - 23/24 upwards. The whole virginity thing is super sacred in the country and many a man has been lynched or forced to marry an ugly hag whose "flower" he stole. Once they get to 23/24, most girls become less anal about their virginity (and many lose it by this time as well), so they're more likely to fuck you and not get pissed when you walk.

[papaiela]

Quote:

1. School is like a huge social circle. If you're a player, don't pick up chicks in school -- a) You'll acquire a certain "reputation" which will make it less likely that many of the hotter chicks will not want to be seen with you (as the reputation will rub off on them", and virtue-signalling amongst women is much higher in India for obvious reasons than it is here).

This.

I'd recommend indirect at school. Veterans in here talk about this a lot (Gio, XXL) with being indirect you don't really put pressure on yourself you're just talking socializing. Try to befriend hot girls and learn to tease them (make them feel something), other girls will see you with hot girls on campus and they will think you have something more than the others.

I just started doing this myself I used to be non-game mode on campus and game mode everywhere outside of university. Hope this helps!

[WestIndianArchie]

If knew in college what I know now...

WIA

[Vet-Boy]

NRI= non resident indian (ill use this to refer to the other western born/raised indian like me)

[quote]Wahawahwah"]

There are a lot of thirsty simps who stare and never approach, hoping that the girls stare back at them and everything somehow transforms into magical love like the movies (isnt it called "giving them a line"? or something?). But its nowhere near 98%, atleast not in the big cities (closer to 50%).

[/quote Wrote:

I have to disagree with you there, I've talked to a ton of seniors and other classman alike (nri's included) and haven't heard a single story of them approaching anyone. Only bangs Ive heard about were via prostitutes or sort of LTRs. I've gone out with other guys many times and first hand witnessed them only stare and never approach. I give them a lot of shit for it but i cant blame them because none of them have really ever gotten the chance to develop the confidence to do it. This is really the reason I feel I can succeed here if i get my act together well enough, since i will ACTUALLY be different; no white knight or beta providing behaviour from me at all.

[quote='Wahawahwah"]

I'd recommend initially gaming outside the school. The easiest way to understand and pick up on these nuances is to date a young girl (18-21), although if you want to pump and dump, try looking at the older age brackets - 23/24 upwards.[/quote]


I'm 18 myself so the pump and dump bracket may be out of my reach until I start to look older (mostly some lack of facial hair is the cause) but I'd really love to hear advice on gaming older girls as an 18 year old since whenever i try to search for stuff like this i just get cougar threads. Like how can i lose the 'child' tag that comes with being this young gaming older (3-7 years) but still relatively young women?

[quote]'WestIndianArchie Wrote:

What is the social climate of your school?

Because in America, only getting the number is a sure way to be forgotten. Girls give out there numbers like nothing, and don't really respond when you call/ text.

Are phone numbers sacred in India?[/quote]

I think the school is a rather medium sized university, 2 colleges inside with several dozen different sub sections (programs). Students very rarely interact with those outside of their own programs from what I've collected from the seniors. Within the programs I'd say the social climate is quite cliquey in the sense that locals and nri's dont mix much aside from when expected to (in class). The Nri's have a sort of superiority complex in them since they had the unearned privledge of being born/raised in the west. I think as well as gaming outside of school, just gaming outside of my program could work out well in not building the player rep.

Phone numbers arent sacred but the response rates here are not as bad as back home just like Wahawahwah said.

[Vet-Boy]

Wahawahwah Wrote:

The two years in India really taught me to add a little silk to the steel.

How was your experience here? Where did you stay? How much were you able to pull?

papaiela Wrote:

I'd recommend indirect at school. Veterans in here talk about this a lot (Gio, XXL) with being indirect you don't really put pressure on yourself you're just talking socializing. Try to befriend hot girls and learn to tease them (make them feel something), other girls will see you with hot girls on campus and they will think you have something more than the others.

This sounds great but there are very few hot girls here by our standards (only 1 in my batch of ~90) the attractive ones are far closer to cute than hot. The overall personalities they have (locals) are pretty submissive which I really like. I've been befriending the gurls in my class slowly in a subtly interested way. Like kinda where you talk seriously about class stuff but still throw in flirtatious jokes once in a while.

The status of being an nri really makes the local and nri girls easily receptive

WestIndianArchie Wrote:

If only I knew in college what I know now...

I'm here to learn now from you veterans so that I may never have to say that in the future hahaha!

[WestIndianArchie]

Okay, that sets the stage.

True direct number close in this case is letting her know that you're trying to put some potatoes in her dosa, and that's what giving her number to you means.

A bad indirect is getting her number to "study" and when she shows up with her books, you're playing R. Kelly in the background with a Netflix and Chill look on your face.

A good indirect feeds into two tracks
- build your social circle - becoming the guy that throws parties, or the guy that is the life of the party. You'll get the conventional girls playing conventional rules.

- You're a cool guy, but you can be discrete. You get the realistic girls

Forgive my ignorance here, but a lot of Indian chicks that I've dealt with (Desi Americans), had fairytale ideas of sex and relationships. If you're in country, I can't imagine that it's going to be easy to get into sexual relationships when the overall culture is repressed.(by western standards)

"Omg, my friends saw you eat lunch with that girl in organic chemistry"

WIA

[Vet-Boy]

WestIndianArchie Wrote:

A good indirect feeds into two tracks
- build your social circle - becoming the guy that throws parties, or the guy that is the life of the party. You'll get the conventional girls playing conventional rules.

Would being the guy who socializes and lightly flirts with all the girls fall under this category? I mean since the western party atmosphere is totally absent here amung the younger college population I kind of need a sort of substitue.

Im kind of the silent type naturally. In class and in social settings though Ive tried to make it a habit to make sure that whenever i do socialize/speak (be it not as often as it should be) with someone the event is at the very least memorable andof value ( i.e. expressing interest in a girl, wanting to learn something/need help in class, etc)

Im still trying to break out of my shell here since sometimes Ive noticed myself literally become that life of the party guy, but then later just be slowly drawn back into my more calm and quiet nature. This only happens under the influence of some sort of high though, whether it be alcohol, that social high when your just surtounded by the right people, or anything else really. Otherwise its like im literally too calm for my own good.

WestIndianArchie Wrote:

Forgive my ignorance here, but a lot of Indian chicks that I've dealt with (Desi Americans), had fairytale ideas of sex and relationships. If you're in country, I can't imagine that it's going to be easy to get into sexual relationships when the overall culture is repressed.(by western standards)

From the information I've been able to dig up from the seniors recently its really like a hit or miss sort of thing. Either the girl will want lots of comittment and buttering up or you'll find one up for it from very early on. The latter being far rarer than the former. Same actually goes for back home when you think about it (speaking from experience) but with a near equal amount in the latter vs former.

[Wahawahwah]

Aight, here's what I'd do in your place.

1. Get on some student clubs/committees (if there is a theater/improv club, I highly recommend you join this - in part because nerds and prudes usually do not join these clubs and you'll find a good proportion of liberal minded/rebellious people in these clubs, unlike, I assume, in Canada. Second, improv and theater really improve your ability to control your body language when uncomfortable, improvise, ramble, notice cues, mirror and build off of the other person's prompts. Especially as an introvert I'd imagine some of these things come less naturally to you and force you to break out of your shell, so to speak). Additionally, given the cliquey nature of these various departments and other schools that you mentioned, it'll naturally open you to other cliques and give you a reason to get numbers/hang out with people outside of classes and studies.
Try joining sports teams if you're athletically inclined.

Social proof is super easy to establish in school and is often the best way to meet and fuck. Your NRI status probably already has given you a small boost with reference to the same judging from what you wrote before.

2. Target NRI girls who Im assuming will be more open, as well as chicks in school who're from other cities and live in dorms, since they'll be more receptive to drinking and other shit since family pressures are lesser and they're less forced to keep up appearances. Pretend to be open minded, and your foreign NRI status might just work for you.

3. Take everything your seniors say with a pinch of salt. In my experience, the sexual repression in India means that there's a shit ton of jealous, insecure white knights who'll stab you in the back as well as virgins masquerading as players and giving you all the wrong advice in a weird case of the blind leading the blind. I know this was true for white collar people in their early twenties (I went for work), and one would imagine it would be similar or even more extreme the younger you are. Lesser degrees of freedom plus keeping up appearances.

4. Beware of the fucking cops. Corruption + regional politics + severe penalties for sexual harassment (which is a legit problem in certain backward regions) have the potential to severely fuck you up. I've heard stories. Not even vibrating rainbow pussy is worth being hung from your ankles and beaten with wet, broken bamboo sticks or being lynched by an angry mob because some girl regretted sleeping with you.

5. Target older chicks -- early mid 20s chicks will be most open minded as the sexually repressive culture is changing, and they usually stay away from families and earn.

Social circle game is king, and I'd encourage you to really focus on building social proof and growing your social circle

[Vet-Boy]

Wahawahwah Wrote:

1. Get on some student clubs/committees (if there is a theater/improv club, I highly reccomend you join this...

I'll make sure to find out about such a club, probably wont be able to join until around November because I'm currently competing for 1 of 8 (its really 1/3 since 5 seniors have danced in years prior and have their positions almost set in stone) spots on one of the dance teams here (Bhangra).

The selected team gets to perform at the annual youth fest so I think that might be a great way to build some early social proof and become more known by people in other programs as well as my own.

Wahawahwah Wrote:

Social circle game is king, and I'd encourage you to really focus on building social proof and growing your social circle.

Will do, but if I could ask you and other forum members for some specific advice on this it would be great:

When expanding my social circle is it okay to be selective? I'm asking this because I dont really want to associate with most of the NRI guys because they dont display qualities i want to surround myself with.

Excessive drinking, dont care much about school, no drive to self improve. Basically guys who peaked (or didnt at all) in highschool if that makes any sense.

Should I maintain neutrality or just establish a loose social circle with them, even if it requires a bit of disingenuousness on my part?

It kind of messes with my sense of integrity to be faking an interaction with someone so its why I'm asking.

Maybe I just have an "I'm holier than you complex" so correct me if thats what it sounds like as well

[XXL]

I don't see why you have to choose one or another. Stay in grey zone.

The best way is to talk about spending time together whether it's going to be today/tonight or in a couple of days. That's how you check if she's receptive and free same day/night or in following days. Don't expect any amazing reaction. Normal reaction is fine. Avoidance, over the top hesitation, skepticism, etc is bad news.

Your excuse [or lack of it] of why you want see again more doesn't matter, it's completely irrelevant. You will feel whether she wants to watch fireworks with you because she digs YOU or whether she needs to see more from you to be into you. Then you recognize it and act accordingly. If you see she's already into YOU then you can be more straightforward, if not then you pick safer route giving more reasonable excuse to see each other again to buy some time.

Pro tip: that black and white approach [direct or indirect?] you use to make decisions will not help you in game long term. Game is one big grey zone full of plausible deniabilities, hints, undertones, signs, etc, where most things are better left unsaid. You need to learn to navigate through all of that chaos by using it to your advantage, instead of forcing your own rules.

[Euphoria]

I think you may get in trouble with both. Is it socailly okay to talk opposite sex on streets in India?

[WestIndianArchie]

(09-23-2016 08:31 PM)Wahawahwah Wrote:  

Aight, here's what I'd do in your place.

1. Get on some student clubs/committees
5. Target older chicks

Social circle game is king, and I'd encourage you to really focus on building social proof and growing your social circle

Bang up advice Wahawahwah

Is there a Bang Mumbai coming out?

WIA

[WestIndianArchie]

(09-25-2016 06:18 AM)Vet-Boy Wrote:  

Wahawahwah Wrote:

1. Get on some student clubs/committees (if there is a theater/improv club, I highly reccomend you join this...

I'll make sure to find out about such a club, probably wont be able to join until around November because I'm currently competing for 1 of 8 (its really 1/3 since 5 seniors have danced in years prior and have their positions almost set in stone) spots on one of the dance teams here (Bhangra).

The selected team gets to perform at the annual youth fest so I think that might be a great way to build some early social proof and become more known by people in other programs as well as my own.

Wahawahwah Wrote:

Social circle game is king, and I'd encourage you to really focus on building social proof and growing your social circle.

Will do, but if I could ask you and other forum members for some specific advice on this it would be great:

When expanding my social circle is it okay to be selective? I'm asking this because I dont really want to associate with most of the NRI guys because they dont display qualities i want to surround myself with.

Excessive drinking, dont care much about school, no drive to self improve. Basically guys who peaked (or didnt at all) in highschool if that makes any sense.

Should I maintain neutrality or just establish a loose social circle with them, even if it requires a bit of disingenuousness on my part?

It kind of messes with my sense of integrity to be faking an interaction with someone so its why I'm asking.

Maybe I just have an "I'm holier than you complex" so correct me if thats what it sounds like as well

Social circle is matter of degrees.

Your inner circle, the people you do stuff with every weekend, - you want that to be as many high quality guys and girls as possible.

But you also want to cultivate relationships with
- professors, TA's, deans,
- the cleaning people, the lunch line, the security,
- vendors, shop people, et cetera

You're not going to invite your favorite beggar over for lunch, but the more contact you have with all sorts of people - the more social skills you'll have.

In terms of guys who aren't doing shit with their lives, or leeches, - you won't know who exactly they are until they show themselves. Some of your "high quality" friends might actually be parasites in disguise.

Joining organized groups is the first step.

But the next move is doing things with those people on a social level.
And the final level is introducing the cool guys in the business school, to the cute girls in your poetry class.

The point of social game is being the center of social activity.
You want folks to plan a party, and call you, because 1) you're fun, 2) you'll bring people

And if you're setting up things with pre-meds and with the pre-law kids, then you can put the two together.

The social skills of organizing + the high profile = a sex worthy candidate.

Lot of girls want to be the girlfriend of a guy like that.

That's when you lay out your terms.

*devilish grin*

College, everywhere, is perfect for this.

WIA

[Carmichael Reid]

(10-02-2016 02:45 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(09-25-2016 06:18 AM)Vet-Boy Wrote:  

Wahawahwah Wrote:

1. Get on some student clubs/committees (if there is a theater/improv club, I highly reccomend you join this...

I'll make sure to find out about such a club, probably wont be able to join until around November because I'm currently competing for 1 of 8 (its really 1/3 since 5 seniors have danced in years prior and have their positions almost set in stone) spots on one of the dance teams here (Bhangra).

The selected team gets to perform at the annual youth fest so I think that might be a great way to build some early social proof and become more known by people in other programs as well as my own.

Wahawahwah Wrote:

Social circle game is king, and I'd encourage you to really focus on building social proof and growing your social circle.

Will do, but if I could ask you and other forum members for some specific advice on this it would be great:

When expanding my social circle is it okay to be selective? I'm asking this because I dont really want to associate with most of the NRI guys because they dont display qualities i want to surround myself with.

Excessive drinking, dont care much about school, no drive to self improve. Basically guys who peaked (or didnt at all) in highschool if that makes any sense.

Should I maintain neutrality or just establish a loose social circle with them, even if it requires a bit of disingenuousness on my part?

It kind of messes with my sense of integrity to be faking an interaction with someone so its why I'm asking.

Maybe I just have an "I'm holier than you complex" so correct me if thats what it sounds like as well

Social circle is matter of degrees.

Your inner circle, the people you do stuff with every weekend, - you want that to be as many high quality guys and girls as possible.

But you also want to cultivate relationships with
- professors, TA's, deans,
- the cleaning people, the lunch line, the security,
- vendors, shop people, et cetera

You're not going to invite your favorite beggar over for lunch, but the more contact you have with all sorts of people - the more social skills you'll have.

In terms of guys who aren't doing shit with their lives, or leeches, - you won't know who exactly they are until they show themselves. Some of your "high quality" friends might actually be parasites in disguise.

Joining organized groups is the first step.

But the next move is doing things with those people on a social level.
And the final level is introducing the cool guys in the business school, to the cute girls in your poetry class.

The point of social game is being the center of social activity.
You want folks to plan a party, and call you, because 1) you're fun, 2) you'll bring people

And if you're setting up things with pre-meds and with the pre-law kids, then you can put the two together.

The social skills of organizing + the high profile = a sex worthy candidate.

Lot of girls want to be the girlfriend of a guy like that.

That's when you lay out your terms.

*devilish grin*

College, everywhere, is perfect for this.

WIA

Being the showstopper is everything. Either the group's Decision Maker and/or Influencer. Start in small groups for starters. Showstopping does not so much the loudest/obnoxious in the room but the Man behind the curtains. Especially in college, these guys usually leave in a stretcher either by getting in a fight by drawing too much attention to themselves. Or OD'ing.

This is a rarely talked about art/skill...I'm glad this got brought up. This is Networking 101

[Euphoria]

What do you suggest for a guy that have ZERO friends?

[WestIndianArchie]

(10-03-2016 02:08 AM)Euphoria Wrote:  

What do you suggest for a guy that have ZERO friends?

If he has interests,, he needs to find guys that have the same interest. That might mean joining a group, or starting a group.

Most men's friendships post elementary school are about like minds gathering.

I'm an outsider/loner by nature, but all of my closest friends are also outsiders.

You are not alone, though you may feel like it.

WIA

[Carmichael Reid]

(10-03-2016 02:08 AM)Euphoria Wrote:  

What do you suggest for a guy that have ZERO friends?

I have ZERO friends. Couldn't be happier. *I wouldn't recommend this to everyone... It ain't for everyone.

Get to know yourself. Get to LOVE yourself. Become an individual instead of an ordinary dude with 2000 FB friends who he has never talked to.
These guys are the lonely people. Become self reliant. If you can't talk about your goals openly to the people around you. You are in the wrong crew.

You learn how to sniff out bullshit much quicker when you have a purpose. People waste your time. IMHO

I literally took a Law of Power to heart on this one. I am trying to make more enemies... Being an individual does the trick, more than you think.

Having a strong family bond is more important.

Professionally, if you have no friends, this is the best place to start, because now you have no distractions but to get better and find more valuable people who can help you and you can help them. Because all the top guys only hang out with the top guys. This usually causes incest, so be agile and alert when you start to conform to their way.

Break the rules.

I dropped my friends years ago. They weren't going where I'm going. I haven't been in better shape. My mind is sharp. I'm making more money the way I want to make it.

I have TONS of acquaintances and people I'm on decent terms with. All the best networking books emphasize having alot of acquaintances.

I would say the vast majority of people do not reach their potential because they have some one in their life they are scared of disappointing so they do no pursue their dream.

If you have a dream you will be alone. No doubt about it. Might as well get used to it now so it doesn't come as a shock later.

I became obsessed in a productive subject(s) (Technology, Marketing, Sports, Investing).

I'm always on the search for finding and attracting Competitive Friends who want to make something of themselves. This is trial and error. There are alot of idiots out there.

Personally, I tend to hang out with people WHO DO NOT have the same INTERESTS as me. But same high AMBITION as me. I tend to learn more about more subjects and I get to offer more to them with my background. It keeps things fresh.

Also, finding the right mentor(s) and coache(s) that fits your needs in your situation. Don't try and find Michael Jordan Grandwizard when you're starting, find some one who can relate to you and get you up to speed as quick as possible. When you get good, pay for the memberships to legit and accredited communities in your field. I am apart of a couple and the more VALUABLE you become the "better" contacts you come into contact with.

[Wahawahwah]

.

Vet Boy : Aight, its been a week. Updates?

1. Did you get into any university clubs?
2. How many new people did you talk to? Not just girls, but people in general.
3. Did you get any numbers?
4. If you did have any semi-solid prospects, how would you categorize the girls? Break down what you think their personality might be (you don't have to be "right", but thinking about this helps, because it eventually you start similar patterns repeating).

Quote:

Will do, but if I could ask you and other forum members for some specific advice on this it would be great

Quote:

What do you suggest for a guy that have ZERO friends?

Archie already addressed these two questions, here's a few general comments -

You don't have to be selective while building your social circle. Just prime yourself to focus your attention outwards. You should be speaking to every one. "Building a social circle" shouldn't be a disparate activity you pencil into your calendar do at certain times of the day, it should (eventually, of course) become second nature.

Read up on cold reading. Try and figure out what makes people tick. When you talk about someone, do their eyes light up? Or does the person suddenly display closed body language? What can you learn about them without necessarily playing a weird case of 20 questions, but bringing up a topic of conversation and building off of their reactions? Some people talk super fast, some may have a slower, sloth-like countenance. Do they react better to you when you start talking at a speed similar to theirs, or worse? Every person has specific phrases or words they tend to repeat while speaking -- are they more sympathetic to your ideas if you thread a few of these words into the conversation?

Eventually you'll be able to develop a relaxed, non-awkward, non-threatening way of conversing with anyone. Keep refining your own style of making conversation relative to your own personality and the local culture, it is a completely practice based skill that most people can acquire, given enough focus. You'll eventually be able to find common interests with normal people, and some of these interests may surprise you. Stay open to possibilities, always.

Be interested in other people, and if nothing else, through sheer exposure, you'll start becoming an interesting man yourself that people eventually flock to. That's your social proof. You don't always need a balls-out opener or crazy peacocking to get attention (although they're good situationally or just for the lulz). A simple "Hi, did you watch the debate yesterday? Crazy right?" or "I'm thinking of buying a zebra for my house, do you know if the zoo keeps them?" or "Nice watch" or "what're you doing for Halloween?" works just as well. Just build off of their reactions, see where the conversation takes you.

Second, like Archie already mentioned, introduce different people to each other, and you'll be surprised at how often people reciprocate. I've been invited to so many different social gatherings and networking opportunities simply because different people / groups I'd introduced had hit it off or someone liked me. Again, leverage the power of social proof. Im sure you can imagine how great it is to just walk in to a house party and start greeting people right and left...makes approaching chicks at the party super easy because they've already been primed by the warm responses you elicit from other people at the party.

One more thing is to try and refrain from acquiring a "gossip monger" vibe. The more discretion you're able to maintain, the more people tend to think of you as trustworthy and become more open and relaxed around you. That forges closer relationships over time, distrust is the bane of deeper relationships.

To the guy with zero friends, same advice. Talk to everyone. The bellman, the guy sitting next to you on the train, the waitress at your local watering hole, the people in your office. Take an interest in their apparently banal lives without coming off as a stalker, and you'll be surprised. Life got more interesting when I stopped living in my head. In fact, you'll even pick up new hobbies or develop an interest in things you would've otherwise not been exposed to.

Eventually, as you start opening up to more people, you'll start sensing how they respond to you physically, and it'll force you to dress better, lift some weights, improve your personal hygiene, clean your house, get your shit together simply because it elicits better responses from the everyman.

Finally, a mental block a lot of us have is "I shouldn't do X because I'm Y". For instance, I shouldn't approach that hot girl because Im not confident/bald/short/fat/indian/have acne/smelly etc. Fuck that. Flip the causality around. You're <insert limiting belief> because you don't approach the girl.

You're not confident because you don't approach the girl.
You're not popular because you can't carry on a conversation with the people around you etc

You have <limiting belief> because of <reason>. In this case, the problem is easily fixed by simply addressing an actionable root cause. Hopefully, eventually you'll come to the conclusion that many of these limiting beliefs are just based off of popular culture or artificial mental barriers you erect to avoid the pain of rejection.

That's pretty much there is to it.

[Vet-Boy]

'Wahwahwa Wrote:

Vet Boy : Aight, its been a week. Updates?

1. Did you get into any university clubs?
2. How many new people did you talk to? Not just girls, but people in general.
3. Did you get any numbers?
4. If you did have any semi-solid prospects, how would you categorize the girls? Break down what you think their personality might be (you don't have to be "right", but thinking about this helps, because it eventually you start similar patterns repeating).

1. I have a solid spot on the dance team I mentioned to you guys earlier on, and will be performing infront of a pretty large student body. This will probably provide a good start to the social proof you reccomended me to build as I'm the only young one on the team and everyone else are seniors. There are lots of practices so I get quite busy during my day now.

2. I have not kept count but India is a treasure trove for daily interactions with people. It probably has something to do with the relaxed atmosphere here or something, but making male friends/aquaintances (esspecially through other friends) is extremely easy. My interactions with females though has been limited to just my class and I'm not gonna make any excuses about why. I've been letting approach anxiety/fear get the best of me and am going to try my best to soon conquer this.

3. No numbers yet, not because I've been rejected but because I have yet to ask. In class my main problem is trying to keep any interest I have in girls discrete because of how immature most people here are. I feel like the instant somebody finds out you have an interest for someone it'll spread amung the classes, and close off my chances with other girls since they have a big sort of clique like thing going on (this may or may not be true but its just what I'm feeling may happen if I dont maintain 98% discretion). Also the guys are huge cockblocks as I've said before so I want to keep them in the dark as much as possible.

The girls in class do express pretty good interest in me, one (a fatty) is rumored to have a huge crush on me which I'm trying to ignore as much as possible. The main thing I guess I need help with is how to establish the level of discreteness I need. What I was thinking is to isolate away from any classmates to get rid of the problem all together?

This leaves the fear that the chick may then tell her friends and ruin the discreteness that way but thats totally out of my control and is what is mostly holding me back from it all together.

***I'm not sure but i feel Im maybe just being overly cautious/using this stuff as excuses subconciously so let me know about this guys. I'm really trying to work on my inner game here and its hard to tell from genuine barriers and those made up by your own mind. Maybe I should not care if others find out at all?***

Outside of class I have no excuse as Ive said before, so I'm gonna try and beat that fear block I have and start cold approaching/start random conversations with females outside of class.

4. Currently prospects (3 locals not including fatty) all in my class which is actually only a few dozen people atm. From the interactions I've had with them they express interest. I dont see the NRI girls much as most are in another batch. They get a ton of attention from the NRI guys already so Im not going to chase them at all, but i will make sure to keep intentions clear that I have a sexual interest, but not enough where I will value them any hugher than a local (sort of bring down the ego they are bound to or already have acquired because of their status).

Prospects:

Girl #1: 5-6/10, very talkative in general but shows probably the most interest in me out of the 3. Very nice and interactive, but i respond with an asshole like vibe, which she seems to like considering she continuously re-initiates interactions.

Girl #2: 6.5-7/10, First person i talked to on the first day of class, nice yet layed back personality (doesnt worry heavily about school like most others), comfortable enough to let me take her phone from her hands and go through it if i wanted. Smiles a lot in conversation. I respond the same way i do with girl #1

Girl #3: Solid 7/10, one of those girls you find really cute but dont know why. Has a strong focus on school, very childish/innocent from what Ive seen. Havent gotten very much interaction but seems like a little attention will go a long way for her. Will make sure to initiate more interactions. If pursued will probably be a very hard nut to crack.

**Something odd**

One day girl #1 came and sat down beside me in class but within 30 seconds got up and sat beside her friend (3/10 nri chick) after recieved a weird stare down from the friend. Still not sure what to think about it, could have been a "thats my man whatre you doing" stare or could have also just been she was in a bad mood and needed to talk about something. The friend once did do my homework for me and talk about how nice it is that i dance, but have had very limited interaction, mostly due to me not being interested enough to start anything.

Other Stuff:

The advice about flipping the causality sounds really great and I'm gonna try my best to use it in continuing to reform and better my inner game.

Any books or videos you can reccomend on cold reading/bodylanguage? I plan to do a simple google search and browse through what seems to be the best but if youve got good stuff on hand already dont hesitate to share it.

The stuff you, WIA and CM Reid mentioned about interactions and how to use them in all those ways is probably the most powerful advice I've ever gotten. All the subconcious analyzing and smoothness that develops through practice and is taken to become the best social version of yourself is really going to help me long term.

I really cant thank you guys enough (and everyone else on RvF) for taking out the time in your days to help newbies like me out.

I'll report back with small updates/new questions once every week or so since exam time is now approaching, but I'll post large updates monthly, or whenever i make any significant progress (a make out, bang, etc.)