[Caggg241]

Hey gents

I've been seeing this girl for about six months now. Things are going good and she treats me well. She cooks, cleans, is attractive and makes life easy for me. We're basically exclusive now and I want to see where this goes, maybe it will be something long term

The only problem is she doesn't know my real age. On my okcupid profile i said I'm twenty six when I'm really twenty nine (she's twenty three). I want to set the record straight sooner rather than later but how should I do it without it messing everything up?

[Brother Abdul Majeed]

Just tell her that all this time you've been spending with her the last year and a half has aged you three years.

[Windom Earle]

If you're 29 you should be dating younger than 23.

[DaKi]

(09-06-2016 09:42 AM)Caggg241 Wrote:  

Hey gents

I've been seeing this girl for about six months now. Things are going good and she treats me well. She cooks, cleans, is attractive and makes life easy for me. We're basically exclusive now and I want to see where this goes, maybe it will be something long term

The only problem is she doesn't know my real age. On my okcupid profile i said I'm twenty six when I'm really twenty nine (she's twenty three). I want to set the record straight sooner rather than later but how should I do it without it messing everything up?

Did you ever actually lie to her about your age, or was the sole deception the age listed on your OKStupid profile?

[AboveAverageJoe]

Easy answer you dont come clean. If ahe stays around long enough she will learn on her own, usually an ER visit or possibly a police ticket/warrant/arrest. 3 years is nothing for a woman to get upset about. I have had LTR's find out I am ten years older than I initially said. By then the attraction built should be solid and the truth should not matter at all.

[Frank Rook]

Create enough value as a man & it may not be a huge deal.
I'm 36. Currently in a LTR with a 23 year old. Knew her since she was 18. I was a semi mentor figure. Finally got with her when she was 20. Above average looks & educated. Comes from a well to do family. Devoted to me. Prepares little meals for me when we meet etc..
Never told her my age as well. It became a running joke until it came out in a local documentary I was featured in. She became more into me surprisingly enough. Said I was very well kept & look much younger than my calendar age.
I still keep other parachutes in my bank though. Thank the forum for exposing me to the concept of keeping plates spinning. By the way, I'm in South East Asia if that's a factor. At least 2 of the parachutes are attractive 19 year olds. Haven't revealed my age to them either.

Your girl obviously perceives value in you. You already know you're doing something right. At your age, keep growing & improving. Do it for yourself. A relationship can go bust. But wherever you go, there you are.
Agree with Windom Earle. At your age, it's possible to get younger. Don't make the age gap a big focus.

[subterfuge]

I don't want to get in trouble as I think I remember getting a warning some time ago, and I think it was something to do with mentioning a girl who was below the age of consent IN THE US, (but not where I live) (16 is legal here no matter how old the guy is)

Anyway, one of my friends lied about his age to an epic degree. knocked off about 18 years from his age(!) when he met teh hot young girl. She eventually found out, but he managed to keep her, and now he's marrying her. I doubt it's a deal breaker if she's really into you

[Caggg241]

I did lie about it early on, confirming what the okc profile said my age was, but it hasn't come up since

Thanks all for the advice!

[Matsufubu]

The longer the relationship goes on the less she'll care. Let her find out in her own good time, if at all.

[Armada]

I'm very K selected so I don't feel comfortable lying about it.

I'll combine the above advice with mine- Don't "reveal" you lied, but if the topic does come up/she brings it up, nonchalantly tell the truth. I don't know how well it would work, just saying what I would do.

[Caggg241]

Guys I would let her find out on her own but when my birthday comes up I'll have to either double down on the lie or come clean. If there was no birthday celebration there'd be no problem but I know she'll try to do something for me that day

[BoiBoi]

I'm 34 and am banging a girl who just turned 22. Told her I was 28 when we met. Regreted it instantly but went with for a couple of weeks. My birthday was coming up and I didn't want to celebrate my 29th birthday. So I just told her. She was upset for maybe 3 hours. Afterwards she said that it kind of turned her on that I was that much older.

[Gotzinho]

I don't think age really matters if you have all the other aspects covered in your game. I have lied many times to chicks about my age and my job and they actually didn't care when they eventually learned the truth. If she's a sane chick she would be fine with it. I would tell her directly that I don't feel the need to reveal every detail of mine if I don't know a person well and that is why I didn't reveal my true age. If she really likes you, I don't think she would be bothered by it.

[BrewDog]

I dated a 20 year old English college student for the summer when I was in Ecuador. She thought I was 29. I was about to turn 40. We traveled and climbed mountains and went ziplining and hiking and drinking and had a huge time the whole summer. I'm one of those guys that looks either 25 or 40, you can't really tell. And I act 19, because in my head, I'm still back in college.

So, I felt a bit guilty one night while drinking with an Ozzie traveler buddy at the hostel and told him about my predicament. That I'm an honest guy and felt bad because I had misled her and she was a nice girl, so I felt like coming clean about my age.

He said, "Mate, I should just fucking smack your cunt face for even suggesting this fuckery! She can either go back to England and tell her friends and family about this nice American boy she hung out with in Ecuador and always remember the great time she had with you on holiday. Or she can slap your face and walk away for lying to her. Fuck that!"

And he was right.

[britabroad]

29 to 23 is a non issue. she wont give a fuck or see you as more of a prospect because youre nearer settling down, just drop it casually.

[Latan]

I don't understand why you want to "come clean".
She wants to spend time with you? Cool, nothing to change.

The moment you begin to lower your frame and admit any "wrong doing", the moment she'll begin to see you as a lesser version of yourself.
When she'll dump you, you'll ask yourself why you even wanted to change your behaviour with her.

[DaveR]

(09-06-2016 09:42 AM)Caggg241 Wrote:  

Hey gents

I've been seeing this girl for about six months now. Things are going good and she treats me well. She cooks, cleans, is attractive and makes life easy for me. We're basically exclusive now and I want to see where this goes, maybe it will be something long term

The only problem is she doesn't know my real age. On my okcupid profile i said I'm twenty six when I'm really twenty nine (she's twenty three). I want to set the record straight sooner rather than later but how should I do it without it messing everything up?

Don't worry about it. I usually take 10 years off my real age if I'm dealing with a teenager. It helps their hamsters to cope.

I stop trying to hide any lies the day after the first bang. Never had a problem. As mentioned earlier, there's no need to apologise, "come clean" or act as if you're guilty. If she finds out, she finds out. Most of what comes out of a woman's mouth is embellished, inflated, etc. anyway... honesty is a very flexible concept for them. If you need an excuse, just tell her it's a bad idea to put real personal information on public sites like OKCupid, so you liked about your age.

For reference, I'm in my mid 30s and the oldest I've banged this year was 11 years younger. Youngest was 17 years younger. As I wrote earlier, don't worry about it...