[MathGuy]

Alright, so today was a pretty awful Saturday. It wasn't awful because of a serious blowout, or because I got assaulted, or because my dog died, but because I spent it entirely indoors, doing the kinds of things I did when I was a NEET. I'll leave it to you to use your imagination fill in the details on that.

There is no specific reason why I did it. After all, I'm not depressed right now or going through any kind of crisis. I guess it might be the fact that I didn't have any plan whatsoever for this Saturday, so when I woke up late and got immediate urges to laze around at home, that's what I ended up doing, more or less, for the whole day. My body was rather sore from yesterday's workout, which might have factored into my decision not to even go out, and I didn't bother going to the gym even though I've sort of told myself that I'd at least make myself go every day.

Some positives for today include the fact that I put in some effort to study and somewhat practice my text game. I also did some other readings (not pertaining to pickup) that I've been meaning to do for quite some time now. Those aren't ideal Saturday activities though...

Reflection: Always have a plan in mind for Saturday that involves me out of the apartment.

To anyone reading this right now, I want you to conduct this thought experiment.

Imagine your archetypically attractive man - tall, chiseled jawline, stylish, muscular in an elegant way, etc. Let's say that he has exceptional game, and a notch count of over 300 at the age of 30. Let's say that this guy chooses to stay home alone all day for some important reason, because he works at home and there's a sudden crisis he need to deal with.

Imagine your archetypically unattractive man - short, chubby neckbearded face, fedora wearing, looks like the only things he deadlifts are old cheetos bags he forgot to throw into the trash, etc... Let's say he's a kissless virgin with a couple undiagnosed disorders due to harsh treatment from oneitises in his youth. Now, let's say on the same day, that this guy goes out to an area with a lot of women with the intention to get laid.

Who has a better chance of fucking someone that day? Obviously, it'll be the second guy, because as much as the odds are stacked against him, he's in the game and the first guy isn't. It's as simple as that. Of course, most of us would rather be the first guy, but one important yet subtle point is that you don't need to be an uber casanova - all you truly need is to be a participant in the first place.

There is more glory in suffering defeat in the arena than in savoring victory in the spectator seats.

[MathGuy]

Just so this thread doesn't sink too much....

Synopsis: A couple of direct approaches done on campus. I know that is sort of like shitting where I eat, but I don't really care too much about maintaining reputation at the college I tutor. I'm beginning to resent the fact that I still have to be there for most of the week, so I might as well be more carefree in the way I conduct things.

1. (Friday, last week) As I'm walking around after submitting some necessary documentation, I force myself to run my low-energy-low-effort game on nearby people who I'm not too into. None of the 'approaches' go anywhere notable, but soon enough out of the corner of my eye I see this girl dressed in a spaghetti stripe top and sarong skirt. Because he's a bit far off, and I hesitate a bit. But then I go "fuck it, why not!"

I then walk in her direction, feeling a bit weird and stalkery because of it. She walks in an energetic, vibrant way, touching water from a nearby sprinkler as she goes, which makes me think she would probably be upbeat and receptive. Now, after about a minute and a half of walking, she stops in front of one of the buildings, and sits down on a bench. By this point, I'm feeling weird for not approaching sooner, so I start to feel like letting go. I sit in a nearby bench to get my bearings, and watch her greet a friend who sits with her, which makes me even more hesitant. I then mentally remind myself to not let go, because I want to train myself to approach, not stalk. As soon as I see her friend start to leave, I mindlessly walk over and say "hey, can I tell you something...I know this might seem weird and random, but you're hot.."

Boom. Positive reaction and vibes right away. I introduce myself, and so does she, while smiling and maintaining good eye contact, as we chat about various school/exercise related topics. She mentions she just got out of the gym. When I feel the conversation start to fizzle out, I ask for her number, which she gives without hesitation. I say "we should so something physical together...like dancing or jogging" and she laughs and says "sure." I then give her a parting hug...but then as we both 'leave' things get slightly awkward, because of the fact that we are both leaving in the same direction even though we said goodbye to each other. I then take it as an opportunity to continue talking, which sort of had a slight effect of harming the vibe, but I make sure not to let that get to me. We continue talking, though this time I notice that she's less enthusiastic in her responses.

We walk towards the cafeteria, she buys some food, and I make it a point to go a bit meta - "I know it might seem weird that I continued walking with you, but I was heading in the same direction as well." If I remember correctly, she piped up a bit after that. I make things a bit more direct again, saying that I like girls who don't mind sweating (though she says she's actually does mind it when she does). Before I leave, she asks me if she looks disgusting (she just got out of the gym and is worried about it affecting her makeup), and I say "no...you're hot."

We've been texting back and forth, although haven't settled on any plans (yet) due to disparities in our schedules.

Reflection: There are a few flaws in this approach, like the fact that I hesitated and stalked for a bit before I opened. That just goes to show that even initially flawed approaches can go really well if the girl is in the right mood and likes you for whatever reason. One thing to take away from this is to realize that you can achieve great results even when you go in a bit rough and approach in those suboptimal conditions - in this case those conditions were the fact that I was bummed about not approaching immediately, and slightly worried about shitting where I eat.

A problem that I still have is the fact that I "let go" of approaches too often, because I try to let things optimize themselves before the open, when conditions often just end up worse (like the girl going into a secure building, or into a car, or meeting a group of friends, etc). Doing this approach made me wonder how many other "bitch-outs" could have ended up like this approach. It should serve as a nice object lesson in how I have to "make things happen" instead of "let things happen" when it comes to the opener phase.

Some other things...I might have been pedestalizing a bit too much, I could have gotten away with more physicality.

2. (a couple days ago on Wednesday) I arrive on campus to drop off a necessary document, and as I wait for the door to the pertinent office to open, I see a this cute white girl sit down on a hallway chair near me. I don't approach immediately because I didn't expect her to suddenly come in, but after I drop off the document, I notice that she's still there (looking over handouts from some class) so I make it a point to approach her.

"Hey...I'm sure you're busy can I say something for a couple seconds."
'Sure'
"You're cute"

She reacts positively, but not energetically. I introduce myself and make smalltalk for a very short period of time (~2 minutes) about school/Poland related issues. Towards the end, I ask for her number, and she gives it. I then smoothly excuse myself because it was about time to get to work.

She has been somewhat responsive through text, but not very.

Reflection: This is a nice example of a good implementation of my low-effort-for-potentially-high-reward mindset when it comes to day-to-day game. I got a good interaction and a number for what amounted to a couple minutes of time before work. There is a myriad of situations in your day-to-day life in which a good result like this can occur, and all it really takes is a willingness to throw away a couple of minutes.

[MathGuy]

Today, I decided to travel to another college to run game without worrying too much about the shitting-where-I-eat factor. I also wanted to branch out a bit.

Let me describe the ups and downs separately...

The downs: The campus was relatively deserted on Fridays. Because of that, I found myself just walking around for 99% of the time, making me a bit stuck in my head and hesitant whenever I did come across a girl. In those situations, my mind would go something along the lines of "oh shit, wai!!.there's a girl...is she someone I want to approach..hmm, wait - of course she is because she passes the bangability test after all...so let me follow her..oh wait, she just entered a classroom...nevermind. But should I still go in? Hmm...well, I don't want to drive myself crazy, so let me just try to find another girl."

The ups: I did a few approaches. There was a weird one that I may describe in a later post. No number closes aside from the last one, though I "number closed" by stating my phone number so that she could write it in her notebook and text me later. Said she would while she was in class, but I didn't receive it last time I checked. That overall interaction went well though, and I noticed a lot of interest in her body language, so I wouldn't be surprised if I received a text eventually.

Reflection: I went out of my way to travel to a different college, but made a mistake in continuing to apply my low-effort day-to-day mindset. I would let go of approaches too often, and ended up making my trip a calorie burning walking marathon for the most part. My low-effort-day-to-day mindset is for when I want to pepper my weekly routines with a bit of game. If I make an exercise analogy, those are the stretches and posture corrections and diet choices one might make during the day. Whereas if I go out of my way to game for an extended period time in another location, it's kind of like going to the gym.

In these scenarios, I should make it a point to have a certain number of approaches to aim for, as well as crystal clear criteria from when to approach, and what counts as an approach. I should break things up in terms of sets (e.g. 5 approaches, short break, 5 approaches, short break...until 25 approaches total, where an approach is just going up to someone and saying words they pay attention to).

I should also put more energy and fun into my approaches when I do it. It would have the effect of boosting my energy instead of draining it, which is another important aspect of game (IMO).

[redbeard]

Nice work.

I love the details you picked up on that "upbeat" girl. I pictured her in my mind, sexy as can be touching that fountain and enjoying life.

The line you used on her is A+. Most of my daygame uses the same line, the one Chris outlines in the video on this page:

http://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/arc...ing-game//

I could chime in with some more advice but...you're doing enough analysis yourself. I don't want you to go information overload. Keep going

[MathGuy]

@redbeard: Thanks for the reply. I've essentially stumbled across the idea of screening in my openers through personal experience.

Yesterday, I recall going up to this girl sitting down, browsing her phone intently. I was about to deliver my "hey, I have a question....why are you so cute?" line but right after I said "hey, I have a question" I noticed her face scrunch up into a hesitant/scowly expression, so I ended up saying "your bag looks nice..where did you get it from." She replied "online.." and stood up. I said "thanks" and just started walking off (and so did she).

I wonder if she walked off because of my approach, or because she was already planning on walking off in that moment. I also wonder if I should have still stuck with the "why are you so cute" line, but something tells me that I properly screened by observing her facial expression before delivering the rest of my opener.

Also, I've been wondering if my posts get too detailed and picturesque for what amounts to describing a single approach, so I'm glad you (and maybe others) enjoy it. I personally think that if I just wrote "number closed girl on campus last Friday" that would be unforgivably dull.

[MathGuy]

Alright, so today I'm going to commute to Manhattan and Brooklyn, and aim for 100 approaches* in a single day.

*My criteria for an approach in this case is just "go up to someone, and get their attention in some way." If I go up to a model-esque woman with a $2000 dress and say "hey..." I'll count it as an approach if she looks at me and just walks away. After all, I don't think I have the energy to try to outright close 100 women in a single day, though I give props to anyone who actually can. Also, I won't get bummed if I don't reach 100 approaches, because after all - I could end up having a lengthy rich conversation with someone who's great LTR material, or I could spend some time on an instant date, or I could even get laid for the first time in my life today.*

I'm going to need a structure and plan, because my past experiences in traveling somewhere else just for the sake of game often ends up in me getting drained, and mentally asking myself "okay, okay...who should I approach...should I approach that girl over there?? well, she looks busy..and just walked into that building..should I approach the one over there...oh shit, it's just a guy with long hair and a feminine body...uhh, I'm too in my head right now, shit!!"

I'm going to break up these 100 approaches into 20 sets of 5 approaches each. After I do 5 approaches, I'll let myself rest and reflect for a couple minutes, then start another set. If an approach leads to a rich lengthy conversation or an instant date, I'll hold off on the approaching and see how far things can go before I start approaching again.

Logistics: I'm going to take the F train all the way from my dinky little section of Queens to Lexington Ave/63rd. I'm going to slowly walk south towards Brooklyn, approaching as I go. Once I reach a midway point (maybe once I do 50 approaches, or once I'm ~3 hours in) I'll see if I can find a place with a computer to post a midway report.

A few things I'll keep in mind as I conduct this day....

-Have fun. Realize that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to game. I can achieve success by gaming directly, indirectly, aggressively, politely, intellectually, cavemanlike, verbal, nonverbal, et cetera. I can let myself have platonic chats with guys or women I'm not attracted to in order to socially lubricate myself. I don't have to feel burdened in any way shape or form. If I'm even thinking "holy shit, I keep letting girls pass by because I'm not sure how to approach" I'm doing things wrong, because I could approach and do well in however way I feel like.

-Go at it slowly. I've found that if I powerwalk while trying to be on the lookout for girls to approach, I end up walking past someone and realizing "fuck, there was a girl I'd love to approach just a couple seconds ago...well, I failed the three second rule...and if I follow her it'll be a bit too needy." Because of those experiences, I'm going to either walk slowly, or just stand in a streetcorner somewhere. I'm also going to allow myself to stalk a little bit, because when it comes to the opener I should be making things happen instead of letting things happen.

-When I get passed the opener "stage," I can then segue into just letting things happen instead of trying to force outcomes. I'll eject myself and employ screening as I see fit in the moment, and reflect on my sets later.

I'll start physically preparing myself now.

[smashley]

Go for it man. 100 approaches is unlikely. Even in new york depending on your taste 100 hot targets is not easy and 2 minutes per approach is 200 minutes which is over 3 hours of talking. Pretty unlikely.

I go to an area with dense targets and I shoot for 10-15 approaches a day. I usually get 4-10 numbers. This is a realistic good amount.

But if you need to say 100 to get you motivated, by all means get out there and approach.

[MathGuy]

Thanks for the encouragement.

I'm on approach 18 right now and I'm already pretty drained. Didn't have breakfast and just waltzed into Manhattan on an empty stomach. In Union Square right now taking a much needed break.

I overestimated the quantity of hot girls that are by themselves. Upon exiting Lexington 63rd, I noticed a lot of the women were old ladies and or with a group, though to a much lesser extent than my shit neighborhood.

One thing that I may need to work on in isolation is approaching girls in groups and girls who are with guys. Also, one thought that crossed my mind is the sheer value of street cold approaches as a means of hardening one's beta softness. No number closes so far, but that's not a big deal because I'm essentially counting bullshit like asking for directions to the subway. I considered using it to skyrocket to 100, but I also want to play to "win" though my during exhausting walk through 30 blocks of Lexington Avenue I found it easier to go for those bullshit approaches.

Some highlights...

After exiting the subway, spotted this brightly dressed girl walking in my direction. Opened by complimenting the colorfulness of her attire. Made small talk for a very short time, and closed by asking for her number. Turned out that she's Brazilian and so doesn't have an American number, but told me to look her up on FB. 8 don't have a FB but just bsed by saying I would. This approach was useful in energizing myself.

Some "failures"....

1. Open a late 20s woman walking towards me by saying " hey... You're cute." She says "thanks." in an Hmm ok.... Kind of manner. Then she says "do you need directions." I say "No, I'm just looking to flirt with random strangers" with a smirk. She doesn't bite and if I recall correctly sort of waves me off and walks faster, so I disengage.

2. See a woman who must have been in her 30s dressed in gym attire sitting down on a bench in front of a Starbucks. I say "hey, I know this might come across as really weird but you're cute." she says thanks in an "..." sort of way. I then follow up by playfully saying "yeah, I know, weird..." and she just stares at me so I say "yeah I can tell you're not feeling it so I'll see myself out" and smoothly walk off.

These were notable in that they got a bit tense and weird, but still worth it for the experience and slight hilarity.

Also, my experience so far tells me that deliberate day gaming definitely better approached like sniping than skirmishing. I warned myself not to walk too much and still walked way too much (from 63rd Avenue to union square while straining my focus by scanning everywhere for potential candidates) , draining myself in the process. It's definitely more optimal to sit on a bench somewhere in a good spot and hone in on anyone of interest walking by.

(typing on my phone right now so I'll edit it later)

[Mind Trip]

It's funny to read all these guys "approaching" here and how they think they are somehow improving in someway by doing that or that they will get any result apart from numbers lol.

You should get girls by living your life and reconnecting with people, or when you are doing something and you notice that the girl give you indications of interest, I highly doubt that approaching strangers on the street like you're doing will take you anywhere, my 2 cents is that you need a change in your perspective.

Go travel, party or whatever you like to do to have fun and focus on looking great, girls will come as a consequence.

[polar]

(09-17-2016 02:00 PM)Mind Trip Wrote:  

It's funny to read all these guys "approaching" here and how they think they are somehow improving in someway by doing that or that they will get any result apart from numbers lol.

You should get girls by living your life and reconnecting with people, or when you are doing something and you notice that the girl give you indications of interest, I highly doubt that approaching strangers on the street like you're doing will take you anywhere, my 2 cents is that you need a change in your perspective.

Go travel, party or whatever you like to do to have fun and focus on looking great, girls will come as a consequence.

What are you doing on a forum about game, in the "newbies" section, if you don't think that game works? If you're hot shit, bust out a data sheet or some actionable advice that OP can implement today on a tight budget.

Based on your (limited) history on this forum it sounds like you're a guy who has a good lifestyle and the social skills to boot. How do you propose someone acquires them without going out of his way to learn them?

They're are plenty of guys out there who are in good shape, or have the career, or the backpacker stories, but without the social skills, none of them get laid unless a girl falls on their dick.

[MathGuy]

I just finished a free tour that involved being led around the Greenwich Village area and being told ghost stories and urban legends. Some fun facts...

Washington Square Park is built over a graveyard that had 15000-20000 dead people underneath. There's a tree on the northwest corner where multiple hangings occurred. Nearby are "haunted locations" inhabited by ghosts of figures such as Mark Twain and Dylan Thomas and Aaron Burr's daughter. I'm a natural skeptic when it comes to these things, but it was all still very interesting. Some canned material to bring up when I game in that area.

Also, there were these two really tall girls (around 6'1 or 6'2 with me on the tour. Didn't flirt with them though even though I was fantasizing about doing so, partly because by this point I was beyond fatigued.

I'm still in Manhattan, charging my phone so that I can order an Uber home. There's some sort of police investigation in the nearby subways so I'm opting for that option.

[MathGuy]

Some things to gleam. My stomach is bloated and I really need to fucking piss, and someone called me while writing this post which ended up in me having to write it over again which is annoying as fuck, so here I go.

1. Cost effective strategies are preferable. Sure, you can try to game while walking 30 blocks like I did, but that's an easy road to fatigue beyond belief. Sit down and "snipe." When you follow targets, walk in a straight line towards them and deliver am opener ASAP. I fucked up by allowing myself to get stuck in my head as I followed.

2. Girls around this area at night are dressed better than in the daytime. I'll make it a point to game at this time in this area in the future.

3. Have fun. Have fun. Have fun. I employed a couple of exercises from RSD Julien. It involves speaking nonstop for a couple minutes and saying whatever word comes to mind for every five seconds. Having fun gets you in the zone and makes gaming worthwhile even when you aren't closing.

4. Street game is hardcore, but worth it for the raw emotionally hardening challenges it provides to your inner being. Even if you don't succeed, the sheer empowerment it gives cannot be underestimated.

5. The first major obstacle in Street game is getting the girl to engage in dialog with you, a random motherfucker off the street. Focus on achieving it for the first few seconds.

6. Girls with friends. Girls with guys. Girls on their phones. Girls with parents. Et cetera. These are all things to be viewed as challenges to embrace and gain valuable experience from. They are not scenarios to view as disqualifiers from approaching. Sure, it's nice to have girls smile at you while they're sitting down as you walk by, but don't rely on getting good by waiting for situations like that.

[MathGuy]

Jesus... So I got home at 1:20am. Delayed, because there apparently was a terror attack, and it occurred not too far from my location while I was taking the ghost tour.

Another highlight of today was the fact that while I was in Washington Square Park, I overheard these two guys talking about RSD material. Chatted them up. I now have my first real life pickup buddies.

[MathGuy]

Note to self: I should refrain from writing game posts with my phone. Some of the sentences in the posts I wrote this past Saturday look like they were written while I was being aggressively fellated.

Anyway, here are some things that don't involve approaches, but will nonetheless improve my game if I work on them.

-My diet is shit. I'm blowing a lot of my money on takeout and junk food. I was never taught proper cooking skills growing up, so something I'm trying to learn ASAP is cooking healthy (if boring) meals. I'm a twenty-one year old guy who hasn't been laid yet, and there are too many moments in my day-to-day life where I feel antisexual (term I coined for when I not only feel indifferent to sexual activity, but averse to it). Has anyone ever felt hornier after eating cheetos and pizza? My facial aesthetics are actually pretty good, but they've been marred with acne and acne scarring.

-NoFap. I yearn for the days where I got a boner by just picturing a girl in a tank top. A rule I'm going to institute is this -- I'm only allowed to fap on Mondays AND if I've done NoFap for seven days. I wonder if that's not radical enough, but the thing is -- I'm not exactly willing to get rid of masturbation altogether, given the fact that I don't have any sexual partners right now. To anyone reading this thread who can chime in...is it possible to ever reclaim the glory days of boners sprouting for no reason back when we were 11? There are times these days where I think to myself "even if my personal 10/10 girl were brushing up against me and pulling my pants down...I don't think I'd get one."

-This is more minor than anything else, but for the past couple months I've been going commando in skinny jeans. That's a pretty potent boner killer, so maybe I should stop that...

-I deleted my (already pretty dead) Facebook and Instagram months ago, but lately I've been thinking of cobbling some professionally taken pictures of myself doing things I like doing, and constructing a social media profile based on it. It's ridiculous, but I think it's fine to embrace bullshit for profit as long as you recognize it's bullshit. This will have to wait until I fully improve my style and find a professional photographer. I also wonder if I should upload all the pictures at once, or a bit slowly over time (as well as adding more as time goes on). I *definitely* don't want to be an actual active user on social media - I just want it to be in the background, functioning as a website/advertisement of myself.

-I have insomnia and pretty awful sleep habits that interfere with adhering to any sort of schedule, which extends to the parts on my schedule that involve going out to approach. It's something that developed in my high school and NEET days of browsing 4chan for over 10 hours a day. My body has seemingly adapted to being able to get by on less than six hours of sleep, and that's definitely suboptimal. At least I'm not one of those people who got hooked on coffee (never taken a sip in my life).

-I still browse the Internet way too fucking much. I have a bad habit of using it so much to the point where it's definitely working against my game, like reading some Quora user complain about all the guys that annoy her when they cold approach her, and how it's this super prevalent thing that happens all the time even though she's apparently this obese "genderfluid" feminist. Or YouTube comments like the ones on some of Good Looking Loser's videos about how "horrifying" it must be for those girls who get approached by him, even when it doesn't seem that way at all when I actually watch the vid.

[MathGuy]

Also, to combat my problems with sleep and the Internet.

-I'm going to bring back something from childhood and set strict bedtimes at 9:30PM for myself on Sunday-Wednesday, because I'll want to wake up at 5:30AM the following day to get productive things done in the morning before heading out to work.

-I'm only going to let myself browse the Internet on Monday-Thursday beyond 6pm, and on Friday-Sunday I'll only let myself use it once I return from going out to approach. I can still make use of the Internet for retrieval purposes (e.g. printing something out, researching something important like the time some place closes down, etc) but it'll be done in a planned, deliberate, restrained way so that I don't end up mindlessly browsing. I've wasted too much of my life staring at a screen. If I spent all those thousands and thousands of hours with other people instead of browsing the web, I'm pretty sure I would have gotten laid by now, even if I was a chubby and shy shlub, because with all that time I would have been bound to get lucky a few times.

Also, another problem I neglected to point out earlier was the way in which I use my phone.

-I've disabled text message notifications so that I don't get distracted by them, and I also made it a rule to not check text messages on Monday-Thursday until 3pm. I also will only check texts once every hour or so.

-My phone will be kept in a default state of off (not airplane mode -- off) in the mornings and afternoons, so that I don't distract myself with the myriad of frivolous bullshit it allows me to expose myself to in my day-to-day life. I've deliberately gone out without a phone a few times, and noticed how much more alert and aware of my surroundings I was. It felt a bit "empowering" -- to borrow a feminist buzzword. Having a phone on encourages multitasking and task switching, which is something you need to avoid if you want to live life productively.

A friend of mine shared this demonstration with me to illustrate the power of not multitasking (monotasking). Recite the alphabet up to the letter "j" as fast as possible, then count from 1-10 as fast as possible. After that, recite them one after the other as fast as possible, as in "a1, b2, c3..." all the way up to j10. Notice the disparity in speed when you attempt the latter activity. It's a great demonstration that illustrates the power of monotasking, and how crippling multitasking can be.

[the1element]

Hey man, I've got mad respect for what you're doing. Very interested in seeing how you progress

[polar]

That's a lot of balls you're trying to keep up in the air all at once. Your willpower is limited, focus on just a few at a time and create habits before moving on.

Try to focus on just 2-3, no more:
-cut out porn immediately; and then focus on masturbating less. Porn is a bigger factor to your ability for arousal than frequency of masturbation.
-figure out what are the why's behind your poor food habits. (ie is it convenience? Bland taste?) and figure out solutions (such as packing snacks / getting good containers, and learning to use spices)
-find ways to naturally create limits around technology use (ie keep it turned off when you don't need it), rather than rely on willpower.
-sleep is something I'm still fighting with... Orange glasses in the evening help.
-give yourself cheat days.

[MathGuy]

(09-17-2016 02:00 PM)Mind Trip Wrote:  

It's funny to read all these guys "approaching" here and how they think they are somehow improving in someway by doing that or that they will get any result apart from numbers lol.

You should get girls by living your life and reconnecting with people, or when you are doing something and you notice that the girl give you indications of interest, I highly doubt that approaching strangers on the street like you're doing will take you anywhere, my 2 cents is that you need a change in your perspective.

Go travel, party or whatever you like to do to have fun and focus on looking great, girls will come as a consequence.

I neglected to reply to this post because I was in the middle of a busy Manhattan street when I read it, so I'll do so right now.

While it certainly would be very convenient to just rely on the IOI giving girls that one encounters while going about their lives, doing so entails chalking up one of the most important aspects of your life to fate and circumstance. Sure, some of those girls might be good fuck/LTR material, but that strategy is a lame take-whatever-you-can-get approach that will severely limit you in the long run. After all, you're screening for girls you just happen to bump into who display IOIs (note -- there are quite a few girls out there who are interested, but deliberately avoid showing IOIs because of nervousness). Whatever personality and physical traits they have are left up to chance. Even if you're a famous actor who attracts thousands of women, I'd say that it's definitely not a good idea to just stick to whoever falls into your proverbial lap.

On the other hand, cold approach pickup is one of the most challenging things you can ever do, and I think it's worth attempting solely for that reason. To steal a JFK quote, do it "not because it is easy, but because it is hard." It represents a conquest of one's inner fears, and feels like an empowering rebellion against the stay-in-your-designated-role bullshit imposed by society. You're bringing a wide diversity of women and novel experiences into your life, which means you're bound to change instead of stagnate. Even when you "fail," you do so with the knowledge that you're failing (and learning) from experiences that the vast majority of people would not even begin to try. When you succeed, it feels like you're crafting something out of a void of unlimited possibilities, and in my opinion there are few things in the world as fulfilling.

[MathGuy]

@the1element: Thanks for the props. =)

@polar: I deleted all my sources of porn this morning. It's something I did before, but I always found myself falling into previous habits in moments of extreme idleness whenever I had too much free time.

The main source is the fact that I have zero cooking skills aside from using the microwave or the oven. I need to get that obstacle out of the way. Because I'm a total newb, there is a lot of low-hanging fruit to pick, so it shouldn't take long before I can properly start integrating healthy eating into my life. I'll also keep cheat days in mind.

Orange glasses? I'll look into it. A couple of strategies I've been trying to implement lately are:

-Making myself think in pictures instead of words while I'm in bed. There is this one technique that involves visualizing a countdown from 100 to 0. Whenever you find your mind drifting - bring it back to 100. I'm not too experienced with this so far so I can't comment on its potency.

-Reading something technical and trying to force your mind to understand it, which wears it out in the process. I've often found myself waking up with the reading material right next to me.

[MathGuy]

Scenarios Post


(The purpose of these posts is to help cement in my mind various methods/routes to employ in every scenario. It'll help clear certain things up for me so that I don't have to worry about them in the moment. I hope it helps anyone reading this as well..)

If I'm busy with things that don't pertain to game, but notice a girl I'm *really* attracted to. There are times where I actually do notice someone I'd otherwise love to approach, but because I was too caught up with whatever I was doing in that moment, because switching gears feels like too much of an effort, she just slips away.

If I’m sitting down, my first instinct should be to stand up, and to start rapidly following her. Because I'm busy, I'll employ a direct opener, and attempt to segue into a short ~2 minute chat (or less), making use of the time constraint and the fact that I was busy to my advantage. The overall vibe will be "so..you look cool and interesting and attractive enough for me to break off whatever I was doing, but because I'm not some loser, I'll still need to get back to doing whatever I was doing after I have a quick chat with you."

If I get a negative/indifferent reaction (e.g. she walks away faster or frowns), I'll let myself eject and get back to whatever I was doing. If I get a positive reaction, I continue the chat until I a number close, and then go back to doing whatever I was doing. This also applies when I’m walking somewhere in a hurry, except I won’t have to deal with the extra effort of having to mentally switch gears and stand up.

If I want to practice certain specific skills or refine certain specific aspects of my game - any place, any time.

This somewhat depends on what I’m practicing or refining, but more or less, this is liberating because I can allow myself to approach anyone – even men and unattractive women, solely for the sake of practicing.

This is something that could be helpful to anyone reading this, so to better illustrate my point, let's use prolonged eye contact as an example. If you wanted to train it, you could just choose to divert extra willpower to maintaining eye contact in any social interaction, and instead of defining "success" to be a number close or whatever, you could define it to be spending 15 seconds maintaining constant eye contact, or something along those lines. So, you could approach some old guy in a park sitting on a bench who was in the Vietnam War (based on a shirt he's wearing or something) and say "Vietnam, huh? I respect anyone who has gone through experiences like that." You could then have a chat with him while making sure to keep strong eye contact. Do this enough times, and sooner or later you'll have no trouble maintaining strong eye contact when you're with your personal 10/10, because being comfortable with maintaining eye contact will have become habitual.

If I'm out to specifically do pickup, but don't see any girls around who I'm attracted to (note: there is a difference between a girl who is just 'attractive' and/or 'bangable' and a girl who I really, really want to get to know just by looking at her)

This is a mental obstacle that I've sort of addressed in previous writings in this thread, but haven't quite overcome yet. In my last few attempts to specifically do pickup, I thought traveling out of my shitty neighborhood would remove this problem, and while it definitely has somewhat helped, I still have those streams of thought where I go "hmm...I don't see anyone around who really tugs my heartstrings....I also feel like that right now all I'm doing is training myself to walk around and think too much..I should approach someone, but I don't see anyone around who I really want to approach."

As of right now, this is perhaps one my biggest issue when it comes to the approaching aspect of game. I suppose the key to overcoming this obstacle is to just force myself to approach for the sake of approaching. Part of what makes me hesitate doing so is because it just feels totally contrived and unnatural to try to run game on an average girl who I'm totally bored with.

Because of this issue, I feel as if I'm not getting enough experience with game fast enough.The alternative would be to find that magical place on Earth, where every other girl that walks by is someone so personally attractive to me, that I get extremely motivated into approaching. I feel as if I bought too much into the stuff Mark Manson spouts about being genuine and finding my "FUCK YES" girl. I think I should embrace all the fake, duplicitous, contrived, weirdness that comes with running game on girls who I'm not even attracted to - because it'll give me experiences that will help tremendously with the girls I am attracted to.

There are a few things I'll do to implement this off the top of my head. After all, I'm still going to need boundaries and guidelines, because something tells me I'm not willing to fuck a centenarian just for the experience.

One guideline I've seen many people use and recommend in some form or another (including Roosh) is to aim for a certain number of approaches before allowing myself to head back home. Now, the question that results from that is - "When do you count it as an "approach?" You can certainly screw around by just saying "hi" to 20 different girls and abruptly leaving, which might be something useful for a total newbie. For my current purposes, I guess I'll just only count something as an approach if I also tried to close (phone number, instant date).

Also, a quick thing I'll expand upon in a later post because I feel it deserves more explanation: If I'm out doing pickup, but don't see any attractive girls around, I can pass the time by giving positive value in any way to anyone I run across. I can complement people passing by ("wow, your hair is really nice" or "you look like you've hit the gym, thanks for the motivation!"). I can also extend it into quick chats with anyone around me. I'll let myself do this until I see someone to run game on.



(side note: I feel as if I can't settle on a single term. Do you guys call it "game" or "pickup" or "PUA" or "venusian arts" or whatever? )

More posts like this to come later!!

[MathGuy]

I'm about to head out to Manhattan again, and I won't leave for home until at least 9pm.

A few lessons I've learned from last week to keep in mind:

-Energy management is important. I really should just stand/sit in one spot, and let the girls come to me. If I walk, I should walk slowly. I should also find indoor spots to periodically rest so that I don't wear myself out.

-Sometimes I'll just need to approach for the sake of approaching, because it'll give me a constructive thing to go for instead of just scanning around looking for an ideal girl to approach.

-For me, an opener is: whatever you do to catch her attention + whatever you do to get her stop whatever she was doing so that she interacts with you. I can do the first part just fine, but the second part is really where it counts. Therefore, I'm only going to count an approach as an approach if I was able to get her to interact with me for at least ~15 seconds. If I say "hey" to a girl walking by and she looks at me and walks faster, as I just stand there watching her go away in order to not look like some needy pathetic stalker, I won't count it as an approach.

[subterfuge]

(09-24-2016 08:47 AM)MathGuy Wrote:  

-For me, an opener is: whatever you do to catch her attention + whatever you do to get her stop whatever she was doing so that she interacts with you. I can do the first part just fine, but the second part is really where it counts. Therefore, I'm only going to count an approach as an approach if I was able to get her to interact with me for at least ~15 seconds. If I say "hey" to a girl walking by and she looks at me and walks faster, as I just stand there watching her go away in order to not look like some needy pathetic stalker, I won't count it as an approach.

Same for me. I think you need at least some back and fort before you can call it an 'approach'.
Actually opening a girl was never much of a problem for me. I know some guys struggle to even say 'hi' to a hot girl. I never did, but it's what comes after that that's always been the problem!

I'm contemplating experimenting with routines in bars now as a bit of an experiment. There are very mixed opinions on 'routines'. Roosh himself doesn't seem to mind them and kind of encourages them if i remember correctly from his book. The Seddit guys think they are ridiculous.

When I approach a girl in a bar, all I really have is ''where are you going tonight', 'who are you with?' and then i'm sort of out! I'm also weary of firing questions at the girl. People say to make assumptions about her based on her looks/vibe etc, but sometimes nothing at all springs to mind, and sometimes when it does, and you say, she can still just want to get away from you. I guess the more you cna keep her in set without boring the ass off of her, the better chance yuo have of some sort of success

[MathGuy]

I'll post my summary of yesterday's experiences at a later time, but one thought just popped into my head.

Almost everyone these days prefers to text rather than call, and because of that fact, calling makes you stick out. It feels like a big deal, and while it certainly would break the comfort zones of pretty much every younger girl these days, that can certainly be used to one's advantage.

Right now I'm thinking of having a regular block on my schedule where I'm going to just sit down on a comfortable chair in front of my computer, plug in headphones to make my voice clearer, and calling the numbers of every girl I'd like to get with. This will be done about once a week (Sunday, perhaps?). I'll focus on using it to schedule dates, with a little fun conversation sprinkled in.

I'll expect some of them to not pick up, and I'll expect many to sound awkward because I caught them off guard, but doing so will make me stick out. I'll be sure to call in a prepared fashion, with yelp.com in front of me, and starting off my call with something along the lines of "not sure what you're doing right now, but do you have a couple minutes to talk? ...Alright, I'm wondering if you would be interested in ....blahblahblah"

This is something that just popped into my head. I'll see if I can do it in the near future and I'll be sure to write about it when I do. I'm also going to see if any of my semi-dead numbers (girls who I haven't texted in a long time) respond, and I'd be curious to see how they would react.

These days I've found that there is this increasing tendency for everyone to just be mostly unresponsive through text. I have a hunch that this has more to do with the fact that they're bombarded with a myriad of notifications from all the apps they use and all the contacts they have, than anything wrong I could have done.

[MathGuy]

Synopsis: Pretty big screwup that feels like a huge shit-where-I-eat situation. I'm not sure if I've seen the full fallout yet, but the good news is that I feel confident in salvaging this situation.

(I will refrain from describing things in explicit detail for now)

Yesterday, I decided to perform an indirect approach before leaving campus. Opened this girl with a bullshit question, asking her if she was in a class I once had. Segued into a fun ~30 second to 1 minute conversation before I got her number and she went to class and I went home. I stayed up late yesterday night to finish a favor for a friend, and had a text message conversation with her that was unlike any other I had, because

1. We discussed deep intellectual matters.
2. She responded very quickly, and wrote long verbose texts in a matter of seconds.
3. It really felt like we were vibing incredibly well, because she seemed very enthusiastic and open and even a bit cautious of inconveniencing me.

This morning, we continued the text conversation in a pretty pleasant fashion. When I arrived, I made a somewhat bold move that seems more than a bit idiotic in hindsight. There's this website integrated into our system that allows me, as an employee, to look up information about students. While I was working on my laptop last night, I took a brief moment to look her up for shits and giggles. I saw that she had this one class with a somewhat infamous professor, and because I knew where it was I decided to just "happen" upon her before heading to my workplace. She was pleasantly surprised to see me, and we had a nice back and forth conversation.

In it, I decided to play around by revealing that I bullshitted her last night by employing that indirect opener. She laughed and complimented me on my smoothness. I also decided to reveal that I found her because I was able to see her schedule using the aforementioned system, to communicate "I feel comfortable sharing that, so you know you can trust me." We then bantered about this shitty professor she has, and while we were talking I gave her a brief light touch to gauge her level of comfort, but then a friend of mine gave me a slap on the back as he was walking by, which surprised and distracted me for a bit. From what I remember, she didn't react to the touch at all, and just commented on how many people knew me. We then wished each other goodbye shortly after, and I sent her a text saying that I'd be open and honest from now on. She quickly replied to that text, saying "lol" and that she "appreciated" it.

Now...an hour later, I get this 180-degree text saying that she actually didn't "appreciate" me finding her schedule, and that she was really creeped out that I touched her, claiming that she complained to her boyfriend (never brought up before) about it, and requested me to delete her #. It felt so different and out of the blue that I thought it was a joke at first (maybe it really is, I don't even fully know yet). Before I obliged, I made sure to not get apologetic, and commented on how sudden and strange it was, while saying that I would still respect the request. I'm steeling myself for some possible BS harassment/stalking complaint, but I'm not too worried because lately I feel as if my ability to hold my own and stick up for myself has increased tremendously.

I'm reporting on events that literally started happening less than 36 hours ago. I'll keep you guys posted, though I'm refraining from explicit detail right now just because.

TAKEAWAYS

-One thing I've really realized from this is that physicality and 'kino' should only be used when you're certain you have the time and focus to calibrate accordingly. Because I got distracted by my friend and had to leave less than a couple minutes later, it must not have been a good note to end on, given the fact that I essentially admitted stalking her.

-The overall vibe a girl gives in person may be rather different from what she really feels, or what she later comes to feel.

-Revealing secrets should only be done when you've developed good rapport over an extended period of time, not good rapport over a span of less than a day.

-We seemed to get along well unexpectedly quickly, and that made me break my routine a bit and reveal a bit too much because it felt special.

Anyway, I considered not even revealing all this because it's a pretty low moment, but it's here for people to learn from. I may update this story later on. I'll be sure to not bend to anyone's demands to apologize or admit to wrongdoing. It was sloppy behavior, not immoral behavior.


(Also, there are some successes that I haven't written about yet that will hopefully counteract this. Stay tuned.)

[MathGuy]

So, I've decided that because I have quite a bit of free time on Friday - Sunday, that I'm going to look up nice venues (restaurants, bars, etc) and schedule visiting them ahead of time. I've been almost totally improvising as far as the places I go to when I head out. This will give some much needed structure to my game, and will ensure that I won't just wing it when it comes to dates.

As a result, when I call and text the numbers I have, I can just go "I'm planning to go to X place on Friday/Saturday/Sunday. Feel free to tag along."

This feels like common sense that I should have been employing from the start, but I'm not used to having enough money to take people out. One concern might be to keep myself from becoming "beta bucks," but I doubt that would happen.

My style has now slightly improved, and recently I'm noticing that girls are giving me more looks. I intend on continuously improving in the weeks to come.

Side Note: I was at Hofstra last Friday. A friend of mine goes there, and I told him I wanted to visit to do pickup. Now, it was an 'experimental' day for me so I decided to dress in sweatpants and a hoodie without an undershirt. I figured that it would be a nice challenge to do approaches while looking at a bum in a school full of rich girls, and it was. I won't go into much detail though, other than the fact that I didn't even realize the Presidential debate was on the following Monday until I saw all the signs around. There was this cute girl wearing a "Debate 2016" work uniform that I probably should have approached (it was already time to head back out when I saw her).